Re: Should I tell my Mum I think she has BPD?

[Guest guest]

Hi, I just read much of the thread and wanted to go back to the OP's question.

I'm afraid that your nada won't respond to getting help, so tell her if you

want, but realize that she has to want to change for that to happen. I gave my

mom a workbook for people with BPD, but unfortunately it was not geared toward

high-functioning acting out BPD, so much of it wasn't applicable. So what I've

found to be useful is 1) only seeing her in public places 2) not being trapped

int her car with her (always having an escape route).

Also wanted to add that my brother is in a mental hospital right now so I

totally sympathize with your story about your brother's breakdown. It's so

scary! How is he doing now?

All joking aside, I would assign 2 bridesmaids to be bouncers to insulate your

mother from you for the day and minimize her interruptions. My 2 best high

school friends did this for me: everything had to go thru them for her to talk

to me, and it was so helpful. Try to insulate yourself from her during the

planning process by following the detachment w love principles in the SWOE book.

Also, if you need to. set limits about her attendance at wedding events. If you

dig in the 2009 archives you can read about my experience threatening to

dis-invite my mom from my baby shower. She backed down and actually apologized

for her behavior, and all ended well because I refused to let her do whatever

she wanted at my shower.

Best of luck and congrats on your wedding!

BostonChic

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > OOOOH Pick me!!!! I want to be the burly groomsman and kick

> > her ass

> > > > > > out if

> > > > > > > she acts up!!! That sounds very satisfying. I'd follow her

> > around and

> > > > > > give

> > > > > > > her a dirty look everytime she openned her mouth. And then

> > boom!!!

> > > > > > Out!!!

> > > > >

> > > >

> > > >

[Guest guest]

Hi, I just read much of the thread and wanted to go back to the OP's question.

I'm afraid that your nada won't respond to getting help, so tell her if you

want, but realize that she has to want to change for that to happen. I gave my

mom a workbook for people with BPD, but unfortunately it was not geared toward

high-functioning acting out BPD, so much of it wasn't applicable. So what I've

found to be useful is 1) only seeing her in public places 2) not being trapped

int her car with her (always having an escape route).

Also wanted to add that my brother is in a mental hospital right now so I

totally sympathize with your story about your brother's breakdown. It's so

scary! How is he doing now?

All joking aside, I would assign 2 bridesmaids to be bouncers to insulate your

mother from you for the day and minimize her interruptions. My 2 best high

school friends did this for me: everything had to go thru them for her to talk

to me, and it was so helpful. Try to insulate yourself from her during the

planning process by following the detachment w love principles in the SWOE book.

Also, if you need to. set limits about her attendance at wedding events. If you

dig in the 2009 archives you can read about my experience threatening to

dis-invite my mom from my baby shower. She backed down and actually apologized

for her behavior, and all ended well because I refused to let her do whatever

she wanted at my shower.

Best of luck and congrats on your wedding!

BostonChic

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > OOOOH Pick me!!!! I want to be the burly groomsman and kick

> > her ass

> > > > > > out if

> > > > > > > she acts up!!! That sounds very satisfying. I'd follow her

> > around and

> > > > > > give

> > > > > > > her a dirty look everytime she openned her mouth. And then

> > boom!!!

> > > > > > Out!!!

> > > > >

> > > >

> > > >

[Guest guest]

Hi, I just read much of the thread and wanted to go back to the OP's question.

I'm afraid that your nada won't respond to getting help, so tell her if you

want, but realize that she has to want to change for that to happen. I gave my

mom a workbook for people with BPD, but unfortunately it was not geared toward

high-functioning acting out BPD, so much of it wasn't applicable. So what I've

found to be useful is 1) only seeing her in public places 2) not being trapped

int her car with her (always having an escape route).

Also wanted to add that my brother is in a mental hospital right now so I

totally sympathize with your story about your brother's breakdown. It's so

scary! How is he doing now?

All joking aside, I would assign 2 bridesmaids to be bouncers to insulate your

mother from you for the day and minimize her interruptions. My 2 best high

school friends did this for me: everything had to go thru them for her to talk

to me, and it was so helpful. Try to insulate yourself from her during the

planning process by following the detachment w love principles in the SWOE book.

Also, if you need to. set limits about her attendance at wedding events. If you

dig in the 2009 archives you can read about my experience threatening to

dis-invite my mom from my baby shower. She backed down and actually apologized

for her behavior, and all ended well because I refused to let her do whatever

she wanted at my shower.

Best of luck and congrats on your wedding!

BostonChic

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > OOOOH Pick me!!!! I want to be the burly groomsman and kick

> > her ass

> > > > > > out if

> > > > > > > she acts up!!! That sounds very satisfying. I'd follow her

> > around and

> > > > > > give

> > > > > > > her a dirty look everytime she openned her mouth. And then

> > boom!!!

> > > > > > Out!!!

> > > > >

> > > >

> > > >