Re: Nada bashing me on Facebook!

[Guest guest]

I'm laughing at myself right now, not you, because I just went through the EXACT

same thing. Click on your nada's profile, scroll down and click on Report or

Block this User. Then block her. She will not be able to see you or any of your

comments on anyone's wall or on your own profile. You can't just unfriend her,

you have to actually block her from seeing anything you post.

My nada was doing the exact same thing--posting seemingly innocuous comments

that only I would know was really a jab or hurtful or whatever. I totally

understand how upsetting it can be to get an email from Facebook that she has

sent you a message. Or to log on and find a comment from her. You start to feel

out of breath, your heart is pounding, you can't think straight, you just feel

this illogical panic and fear.

Block her, and if any of your friends ask, just say " Family and social media

don't always mix. " LOTS of people don't have their parents or family on

Facebook, and it has nothing to do with BPD. Seriously, should our parents

really know EVERYTHING about us, BPD or not?

I am right here with you, Hope, commiserating right along with you. I blocked

nada from Facebook like yesterday, I think, and I have been so relieved ever

since. Contact with nada has to be on our own terms, not this bomb dropping,

unexpected behavior--especially when so much of what they say is manipulative

and hurtful.

I don't have any other advice except to just block her. And I don't think you

need to explain it to anyone. If people really care that much, then they are

spending too much time on Facebook. =)

Good luck!

[Guest guest]

I'm laughing at myself right now, not you, because I just went through the EXACT

same thing. Click on your nada's profile, scroll down and click on Report or

Block this User. Then block her. She will not be able to see you or any of your

comments on anyone's wall or on your own profile. You can't just unfriend her,

you have to actually block her from seeing anything you post.

My nada was doing the exact same thing--posting seemingly innocuous comments

that only I would know was really a jab or hurtful or whatever. I totally

understand how upsetting it can be to get an email from Facebook that she has

sent you a message. Or to log on and find a comment from her. You start to feel

out of breath, your heart is pounding, you can't think straight, you just feel

this illogical panic and fear.

Block her, and if any of your friends ask, just say " Family and social media

don't always mix. " LOTS of people don't have their parents or family on

Facebook, and it has nothing to do with BPD. Seriously, should our parents

really know EVERYTHING about us, BPD or not?

I am right here with you, Hope, commiserating right along with you. I blocked

nada from Facebook like yesterday, I think, and I have been so relieved ever

since. Contact with nada has to be on our own terms, not this bomb dropping,

unexpected behavior--especially when so much of what they say is manipulative

and hurtful.

I don't have any other advice except to just block her. And I don't think you

need to explain it to anyone. If people really care that much, then they are

spending too much time on Facebook. =)

Good luck!

[Guest guest]

I'm laughing at myself right now, not you, because I just went through the EXACT

same thing. Click on your nada's profile, scroll down and click on Report or

Block this User. Then block her. She will not be able to see you or any of your

comments on anyone's wall or on your own profile. You can't just unfriend her,

you have to actually block her from seeing anything you post.

My nada was doing the exact same thing--posting seemingly innocuous comments

that only I would know was really a jab or hurtful or whatever. I totally

understand how upsetting it can be to get an email from Facebook that she has

sent you a message. Or to log on and find a comment from her. You start to feel

out of breath, your heart is pounding, you can't think straight, you just feel

this illogical panic and fear.

Block her, and if any of your friends ask, just say " Family and social media

don't always mix. " LOTS of people don't have their parents or family on

Facebook, and it has nothing to do with BPD. Seriously, should our parents

really know EVERYTHING about us, BPD or not?

I am right here with you, Hope, commiserating right along with you. I blocked

nada from Facebook like yesterday, I think, and I have been so relieved ever

since. Contact with nada has to be on our own terms, not this bomb dropping,

unexpected behavior--especially when so much of what they say is manipulative

and hurtful.

I don't have any other advice except to just block her. And I don't think you

need to explain it to anyone. If people really care that much, then they are

spending too much time on Facebook. =)

Good luck!

[Guest guest]

Oh boy Hope =( Gentle *HUGS* to you. This is such a awful situation to be

in for any KO.

I wish I had some magic advice to help you here, but I don't. All I can try

is to give you a couple suggestions. One big one, if you're not in therapy

it's a really good idea to look for a therapist. No, we're not " nuts " , but

we do have nadas & fadas who are... and who make us feel that way. And it

is of my very non-expert opinion that personality disorders like BPD effect

far far more than the sufferer themselves. We, the family members, loved

ones & kids have to deal with our own issues because of it. So yes, therapy

helps a lot.

I wish I knew the magic cure for the shaking & horrible feeling you get when

you see something related to her pop up on your email or facebook, I really

can relate to that. If I figure it out, I'll let you know, lol. I still

haven't gotten that panic response toned down as much as I would like. When

it happens to me, I just breaaathe until I calm down, which sometimes takes

a long while. Even after that inital panic response, I still end up with a

general uneasy feeling for a while after.

Anyway, good luck to you and we're here for you to vent away even if we

don't always have good advice, but my hunch is that someone will have some

really darn good advice for you =)

Hang in there.

Mia

>

>

> So upset right now! Even though I have been NC with my nada for 4 years,

> she " resurfaces " about every weeks. By resurface, i mean she will send me

> some 'anonymous' mail about mothers, leave something from my childhood on my

> front porch or send me an email asking me how i can live with myself for no

> speaking to her(as if she NEVER did anything wrong-ultimate victim)Now, she

> taken to Facebook to bash me and leave snide comments after i comment on our

> mutual friends statuses. SHe leaves these 'vague' comments right under mine

> that are meant to indirectly take jabs at me. Our mutual friend on Facebook

> was having a hard day and some trouble with anxiety but she was encouraged

> knowing God loved her and so i replied with a verse that has always helped

> me and some kind words and she replied " wow...that amazes me! " Right

> underneath my post. She also put her status the other day as " Hope-ing for

> truth to prevail in a sea of dishonesty " . My name is Hope. Obviously it

> doesn't take a genious to figure out who she was talking about. She is not

> my friend on FB but we have mutual friends and they have told me statuses

> she has written about me. I am very involved in church and whenever i offer

> Godly encouragement to a friend or a verse to help them---she will post some

> indirect jab like " so glad you have finally found religion or may you be so

> fortunate to find God's love, etc. ALways something nasty but not too nasty

> so people don't know she is really jabbing me. Whenever i see her name on my

> notifications---my heart pounds and i start to shake and my heart beats out

> of my chest. Ever since i saw her comment tonight---i'm trying really hard

> to not let this get to me but she is just so psycho. It;s really embarrasing

> for me too. This is a friend that really doesn't know the truth about my mom

> and i see her often. Should i just ignore what my mom put or should i try to

> explain to my friend briefly what is going on? I try not to talk about my

> mom to a lot of aquantances but when she does stuff like that on FB--they

> have to know something is wrong. What do i do??? Help please! I hate how she

> resurfaces just as i'm moving on...

>

[Guest guest]

I'm just reading your post again and wondering if I wrote it two days

ago--that's how similar our situations are. I want you to know that I believe

you (we all do) and that you are perfectly sane, not psycho, in feeling anxiety

from those little innocent jabs she makes at you. I am with you in spirit right

now.

[Guest guest]

I'm just reading your post again and wondering if I wrote it two days

ago--that's how similar our situations are. I want you to know that I believe

you (we all do) and that you are perfectly sane, not psycho, in feeling anxiety

from those little innocent jabs she makes at you. I am with you in spirit right

now.

[Guest guest]

I'm just reading your post again and wondering if I wrote it two days

ago--that's how similar our situations are. I want you to know that I believe

you (we all do) and that you are perfectly sane, not psycho, in feeling anxiety

from those little innocent jabs she makes at you. I am with you in spirit right

now.

[Guest guest]

I am so sorry that you are going through this from your nada. What you are

describing is really mild stalking behavior and it really has the intent that

any stalking behavior would have. That person is trying to control you with

fear. The worst part of it is that it is your supposed mother doing this to you.

Set boundaries with her in whatever way you need to. You deserve to feel safe.

If she doesn't stop, take it to the next level if you need to. Tell her you will

seek legal action to force her to follow your boundaries. What I found is that

my nada, being high functioning, finally backed off when I stood my ground and

indicated very clearly to her that she has to follow my wishes.

Good luck and keep us posted. These kind of behaviors can be very unsettling. We

are here for you.

patinage

[Guest guest]

I am so sorry that you are going through this from your nada. What you are

describing is really mild stalking behavior and it really has the intent that

any stalking behavior would have. That person is trying to control you with

fear. The worst part of it is that it is your supposed mother doing this to you.

Set boundaries with her in whatever way you need to. You deserve to feel safe.

If she doesn't stop, take it to the next level if you need to. Tell her you will

seek legal action to force her to follow your boundaries. What I found is that

my nada, being high functioning, finally backed off when I stood my ground and

indicated very clearly to her that she has to follow my wishes.

Good luck and keep us posted. These kind of behaviors can be very unsettling. We

are here for you.

patinage

[Guest guest]

I am so sorry that you are going through this from your nada. What you are

describing is really mild stalking behavior and it really has the intent that

any stalking behavior would have. That person is trying to control you with

fear. The worst part of it is that it is your supposed mother doing this to you.

Set boundaries with her in whatever way you need to. You deserve to feel safe.

If she doesn't stop, take it to the next level if you need to. Tell her you will

seek legal action to force her to follow your boundaries. What I found is that

my nada, being high functioning, finally backed off when I stood my ground and

indicated very clearly to her that she has to follow my wishes.

Good luck and keep us posted. These kind of behaviors can be very unsettling. We

are here for you.

patinage

[Guest guest]

Great advice. Totally block your nada so that she can't see anything you write

at all, to anyone. What your nada is doing is stalking and harassing you and

you do NOT have to put up with it.

-Annie

>

> I'm laughing at myself right now, not you, because I just went through the

EXACT same thing. Click on your nada's profile, scroll down and click on Report

or Block this User. Then block her. She will not be able to see you or any of

your comments on anyone's wall or on your own profile. You can't just unfriend

her, you have to actually block her from seeing anything you post.

>

> My nada was doing the exact same thing--posting seemingly innocuous comments

that only I would know was really a jab or hurtful or whatever. I totally

understand how upsetting it can be to get an email from Facebook that she has

sent you a message. Or to log on and find a comment from her. You start to feel

out of breath, your heart is pounding, you can't think straight, you just feel

this illogical panic and fear.

>

> Block her, and if any of your friends ask, just say " Family and social media

don't always mix. " LOTS of people don't have their parents or family on

Facebook, and it has nothing to do with BPD. Seriously, should our parents

really know EVERYTHING about us, BPD or not?

>

> I am right here with you, Hope, commiserating right along with you. I blocked

nada from Facebook like yesterday, I think, and I have been so relieved ever

since. Contact with nada has to be on our own terms, not this bomb dropping,

unexpected behavior--especially when so much of what they say is manipulative

and hurtful.

>

> I don't have any other advice except to just block her. And I don't think you

need to explain it to anyone. If people really care that much, then they are

spending too much time on Facebook. =)

>

> Good luck!

>

>

[Guest guest]

Great advice. Totally block your nada so that she can't see anything you write

at all, to anyone. What your nada is doing is stalking and harassing you and

you do NOT have to put up with it.

-Annie

>

> I'm laughing at myself right now, not you, because I just went through the

EXACT same thing. Click on your nada's profile, scroll down and click on Report

or Block this User. Then block her. She will not be able to see you or any of

your comments on anyone's wall or on your own profile. You can't just unfriend

her, you have to actually block her from seeing anything you post.

>

> My nada was doing the exact same thing--posting seemingly innocuous comments

that only I would know was really a jab or hurtful or whatever. I totally

understand how upsetting it can be to get an email from Facebook that she has

sent you a message. Or to log on and find a comment from her. You start to feel

out of breath, your heart is pounding, you can't think straight, you just feel

this illogical panic and fear.

>

> Block her, and if any of your friends ask, just say " Family and social media

don't always mix. " LOTS of people don't have their parents or family on

Facebook, and it has nothing to do with BPD. Seriously, should our parents

really know EVERYTHING about us, BPD or not?

>

> I am right here with you, Hope, commiserating right along with you. I blocked

nada from Facebook like yesterday, I think, and I have been so relieved ever

since. Contact with nada has to be on our own terms, not this bomb dropping,

unexpected behavior--especially when so much of what they say is manipulative

and hurtful.

>

> I don't have any other advice except to just block her. And I don't think you

need to explain it to anyone. If people really care that much, then they are

spending too much time on Facebook. =)

>

> Good luck!

>

>

[Guest guest]

Great advice. Totally block your nada so that she can't see anything you write

at all, to anyone. What your nada is doing is stalking and harassing you and

you do NOT have to put up with it.

-Annie

>

> I'm laughing at myself right now, not you, because I just went through the

EXACT same thing. Click on your nada's profile, scroll down and click on Report

or Block this User. Then block her. She will not be able to see you or any of

your comments on anyone's wall or on your own profile. You can't just unfriend

her, you have to actually block her from seeing anything you post.

>

> My nada was doing the exact same thing--posting seemingly innocuous comments

that only I would know was really a jab or hurtful or whatever. I totally

understand how upsetting it can be to get an email from Facebook that she has

sent you a message. Or to log on and find a comment from her. You start to feel

out of breath, your heart is pounding, you can't think straight, you just feel

this illogical panic and fear.

>

> Block her, and if any of your friends ask, just say " Family and social media

don't always mix. " LOTS of people don't have their parents or family on

Facebook, and it has nothing to do with BPD. Seriously, should our parents

really know EVERYTHING about us, BPD or not?

>

> I am right here with you, Hope, commiserating right along with you. I blocked

nada from Facebook like yesterday, I think, and I have been so relieved ever

since. Contact with nada has to be on our own terms, not this bomb dropping,

unexpected behavior--especially when so much of what they say is manipulative

and hurtful.

>

> I don't have any other advice except to just block her. And I don't think you

need to explain it to anyone. If people really care that much, then they are

spending too much time on Facebook. =)

>

> Good luck!

>

>

[Guest guest]

Ooh, that's awesome that you can share this advice, , since you did

just go through it. Still sucks you did have to go through it. I forgot that

I had blocked nada when I removed her from friends on FB ages ago. I think

she's the only person I've ever blocked on there lol.

See... it sucks we have to have these experiences, but at least we're not

alone & can share what's worked for us!

Mia

[Guest guest]

Ooh, that's awesome that you can share this advice, , since you did

just go through it. Still sucks you did have to go through it. I forgot that

I had blocked nada when I removed her from friends on FB ages ago. I think

she's the only person I've ever blocked on there lol.

See... it sucks we have to have these experiences, but at least we're not

alone & can share what's worked for us!

Mia

[Guest guest]

Ooh, that's awesome that you can share this advice, , since you did

just go through it. Still sucks you did have to go through it. I forgot that

I had blocked nada when I removed her from friends on FB ages ago. I think

she's the only person I've ever blocked on there lol.

See... it sucks we have to have these experiences, but at least we're not

alone & can share what's worked for us!

Mia

[Guest guest]

I'm so sorry that you're having to go through this. Not posting responses is a

good idea. I think that you can change your settings so only friends can see

them and you appear anonymous. I believe there is a setting that only allows

friends to see your posts and not friends of friends. I have mutual friends

with an NPD ex so I make sure that he cannot read my posts. Luckily, my nada is

not on facebook.

Hang in there and know that you don't deserve the commentary and it's like

dealing with a spoiled child that didn't get her way. Treat her as such. As a

parent, I don't reward bad behavior with attention. I do the opposite.

However, good behavior, I reward lavishly. =)

Stay positive and know although this is being directed at you, it's really not

about you...it's about how twisted her behavior is.

Hugs!

Jaie

>

> So upset right now! Even though I have been NC with my nada for 4 years, she

" resurfaces " about every weeks. By resurface, i mean she will send me some

'anonymous' mail about mothers, leave something from my childhood on my front

porch or send me an email asking me how i can live with myself for no speaking

to her(as if she NEVER did anything wrong-ultimate victim)Now, she taken to

Facebook to bash me and leave snide comments after i comment on our mutual

friends statuses. SHe leaves these 'vague' comments right under mine that are

meant to indirectly take jabs at me. Our mutual friend on Facebook was having a

hard day and some trouble with anxiety but she was encouraged knowing God loved

her and so i replied with a verse that has always helped me and some kind words

and she replied " wow...that amazes me! " Right underneath my post. She also put

her status the other day as " Hope-ing for truth to prevail in a sea of

dishonesty " . My name is Hope. Obviously it doesn't take a genious to figure out

who she was talking about. She is not my friend on FB but we have mutual friends

and they have told me statuses she has written about me. I am very involved in

church and whenever i offer Godly encouragement to a friend or a verse to help

them---she will post some indirect jab like " so glad you have finally found

religion or may you be so fortunate to find God's love, etc. ALways something

nasty but not too nasty so people don't know she is really jabbing me. Whenever

i see her name on my notifications---my heart pounds and i start to shake and my

heart beats out of my chest. Ever since i saw her comment tonight---i'm trying

really hard to not let this get to me but she is just so psycho. It;s really

embarrasing for me too. This is a friend that really doesn't know the truth

about my mom and i see her often. Should i just ignore what my mom put or should

i try to explain to my friend briefly what is going on? I try not to talk about

my mom to a lot of aquantances but when she does stuff like that on FB--they

have to know something is wrong. What do i do??? Help please! I hate how she

resurfaces just as i'm moving on...

>