Guest guest Posted January 25, 2012 Report Share Posted January 25, 2012 I've made it no secret I have an ongoing battle with cookies. And although I've been thinking I have a fairly reasonable relationship with "food," I still consider cookies an enemy. A threat. Me-against-them, all the time. They are not going to go away, because my mother is 90 and she wants cookies.Suppose I had a tension-filled relationship with a co-worker. That every time we worked together, we had our eye on each other, and every time we had an interaction, our words were filled with contention.This isn't the way I deal with people. My natural inclination is for easy relations and cooperation. If I had such a relationship, my inclination would be to make peace with this co-worker, not to ask that she (or I) be removed to another department so that I didn't have to look at her. I would approach her and say something like, "Madge, you and I work together. What can we do so that we're actually together in this? I would like for us to be on the same team."Now I'm wondering how to transfer this to the cookies. Because when I binge on them, it really is kind of an act of hostility to myself, since I know I'll feel bad and regret it afterwards (and even during.)Or maybe it's myself I need to make peace with, if a cookie binge is an aggressive act towards myself.Ellie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 25, 2012 Report Share Posted January 25, 2012 Ellie, I don't know if you journal, but I used to do it a lot. And I would often have a " dialogue " with in this case it might be the " cookies " or being aggressive towards " yourself " . One interesting way to do this is to use your non- dominant hand to be the " cookie " . I know it sounds " cookie " (just couldn't resist the metaphor), but it is an interesting exercise. I don't know what I would do if I had to have cookies in the house, just a particular kind. I just have stopped buying them. But the last time I went down that aisle in the grocery store, I was tempted but realized I didn't even crave them as much. I might just try that suggestion I gave you, " talk " to the cookie. I do know that if I eat too many, it makes me feel awful. Without a gall bladder and a liver that is showing signs of fat in it, I find that I do not digest fat too well. Let me know how you make out. Sandy I've made it no secret I have an ongoing battle with cookies. And although I've been thinking I have a fairly reasonable relationship with " food, " I still consider cookies an enemy. A threat. Me-against-them, all the time. They are not going to go away, because my mother is 90 and she wants cookies. Suppose I had a tension-filled relationship with a co-worker. That every time we worked together, we had our eye on each other, and every time we had an interaction, our words were filled with contention. This isn't the way I deal with people. My natural inclination is for easy relations and cooperation. If I had such a relationship, my inclination would be to make peace with this co-worker, not to ask that she (or I) be removed to another department so that I didn't have to look at her. I would approach her and say something like, " Madge, you and I work together. What can we do so that we're actually together in this? I would like for us to be on the same team. " Now I'm wondering how to transfer this to the cookies. Because when I binge on them, it really is kind of an act of hostility to myself, since I know I'll feel bad and regret it afterwards (and even during.) Or maybe it's myself I need to make peace with, if a cookie binge is an aggressive act towards myself.Ellie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 25, 2012 Report Share Posted January 25, 2012 Ellie, I don't know if you journal, but I used to do it a lot. And I would often have a " dialogue " with in this case it might be the " cookies " or being aggressive towards " yourself " . One interesting way to do this is to use your non- dominant hand to be the " cookie " . I know it sounds " cookie " (just couldn't resist the metaphor), but it is an interesting exercise. I don't know what I would do if I had to have cookies in the house, just a particular kind. I just have stopped buying them. But the last time I went down that aisle in the grocery store, I was tempted but realized I didn't even crave them as much. I might just try that suggestion I gave you, " talk " to the cookie. I do know that if I eat too many, it makes me feel awful. Without a gall bladder and a liver that is showing signs of fat in it, I find that I do not digest fat too well. Let me know how you make out. Sandy I've made it no secret I have an ongoing battle with cookies. And although I've been thinking I have a fairly reasonable relationship with " food, " I still consider cookies an enemy. A threat. Me-against-them, all the time. They are not going to go away, because my mother is 90 and she wants cookies. Suppose I had a tension-filled relationship with a co-worker. That every time we worked together, we had our eye on each other, and every time we had an interaction, our words were filled with contention. This isn't the way I deal with people. My natural inclination is for easy relations and cooperation. If I had such a relationship, my inclination would be to make peace with this co-worker, not to ask that she (or I) be removed to another department so that I didn't have to look at her. I would approach her and say something like, " Madge, you and I work together. What can we do so that we're actually together in this? I would like for us to be on the same team. " Now I'm wondering how to transfer this to the cookies. Because when I binge on them, it really is kind of an act of hostility to myself, since I know I'll feel bad and regret it afterwards (and even during.) Or maybe it's myself I need to make peace with, if a cookie binge is an aggressive act towards myself.Ellie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 25, 2012 Report Share Posted January 25, 2012 Ellie, I don't know if you journal, but I used to do it a lot. And I would often have a " dialogue " with in this case it might be the " cookies " or being aggressive towards " yourself " . One interesting way to do this is to use your non- dominant hand to be the " cookie " . I know it sounds " cookie " (just couldn't resist the metaphor), but it is an interesting exercise. I don't know what I would do if I had to have cookies in the house, just a particular kind. I just have stopped buying them. But the last time I went down that aisle in the grocery store, I was tempted but realized I didn't even crave them as much. I might just try that suggestion I gave you, " talk " to the cookie. I do know that if I eat too many, it makes me feel awful. Without a gall bladder and a liver that is showing signs of fat in it, I find that I do not digest fat too well. Let me know how you make out. Sandy I've made it no secret I have an ongoing battle with cookies. And although I've been thinking I have a fairly reasonable relationship with " food, " I still consider cookies an enemy. A threat. Me-against-them, all the time. They are not going to go away, because my mother is 90 and she wants cookies. Suppose I had a tension-filled relationship with a co-worker. That every time we worked together, we had our eye on each other, and every time we had an interaction, our words were filled with contention. This isn't the way I deal with people. My natural inclination is for easy relations and cooperation. If I had such a relationship, my inclination would be to make peace with this co-worker, not to ask that she (or I) be removed to another department so that I didn't have to look at her. I would approach her and say something like, " Madge, you and I work together. What can we do so that we're actually together in this? I would like for us to be on the same team. " Now I'm wondering how to transfer this to the cookies. Because when I binge on them, it really is kind of an act of hostility to myself, since I know I'll feel bad and regret it afterwards (and even during.) Or maybe it's myself I need to make peace with, if a cookie binge is an aggressive act towards myself.Ellie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 25, 2012 Report Share Posted January 25, 2012 Ellie,would it work for you to make a promise to yourself that you can have a cookie whenever you want one BUT you have to sit down and focus on it and ENJOY it???if you are grabbing one on the run, it's easy to not pay attention to eating, and to use it as a way to defuse stress. but if you sit down and focus on that cookie, i think you will quickly figure out when you really want one and when you are just using it as a tool for something else. i agree with your thought that it could be an act of hostility towards yourself... but of course i'm not in your mind so i can't say! but saying, " ah, well, i'm craving a cookie, let me take a momentary break and sit down and relax and enjoy this beautiful cookie, " well, that's already an act of self love right there, the opposite of hostility. what's that expression about you attract more bees with honey than with vinegar? i find that very true of myself. i'm much more likely to succeed at various things if i'm loving and kind to myself. hth,abby Ellie, I don't know if you journal, but I used to do it a lot. And I would often have a " dialogue " with in this case it might be the " cookies " or being aggressive towards " yourself " . One interesting way to do this is to use your non- dominant hand to be the " cookie " . I know it sounds " cookie " (just couldn't resist the metaphor), but it is an interesting exercise. I don't know what I would do if I had to have cookies in the house, just a particular kind. I just have stopped buying them. But the last time I went down that aisle in the grocery store, I was tempted but realized I didn't even crave them as much. I might just try that suggestion I gave you, " talk " to the cookie. I do know that if I eat too many, it makes me feel awful. Without a gall bladder and a liver that is showing signs of fat in it, I find that I do not digest fat too well. Let me know how you make out. Sandy I've made it no secret I have an ongoing battle with cookies. And although I've been thinking I have a fairly reasonable relationship with " food, " I still consider cookies an enemy. A threat. Me-against-them, all the time. They are not going to go away, because my mother is 90 and she wants cookies. Suppose I had a tension-filled relationship with a co-worker. That every time we worked together, we had our eye on each other, and every time we had an interaction, our words were filled with contention. This isn't the way I deal with people. My natural inclination is for easy relations and cooperation. If I had such a relationship, my inclination would be to make peace with this co-worker, not to ask that she (or I) be removed to another department so that I didn't have to look at her. I would approach her and say something like, " Madge, you and I work together. What can we do so that we're actually together in this? I would like for us to be on the same team. " Now I'm wondering how to transfer this to the cookies. Because when I binge on them, it really is kind of an act of hostility to myself, since I know I'll feel bad and regret it afterwards (and even during.) Or maybe it's myself I need to make peace with, if a cookie binge is an aggressive act towards myself.Ellie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 25, 2012 Report Share Posted January 25, 2012 Ellie,would it work for you to make a promise to yourself that you can have a cookie whenever you want one BUT you have to sit down and focus on it and ENJOY it???if you are grabbing one on the run, it's easy to not pay attention to eating, and to use it as a way to defuse stress. but if you sit down and focus on that cookie, i think you will quickly figure out when you really want one and when you are just using it as a tool for something else. i agree with your thought that it could be an act of hostility towards yourself... but of course i'm not in your mind so i can't say! but saying, " ah, well, i'm craving a cookie, let me take a momentary break and sit down and relax and enjoy this beautiful cookie, " well, that's already an act of self love right there, the opposite of hostility. what's that expression about you attract more bees with honey than with vinegar? i find that very true of myself. i'm much more likely to succeed at various things if i'm loving and kind to myself. hth,abby Ellie, I don't know if you journal, but I used to do it a lot. And I would often have a " dialogue " with in this case it might be the " cookies " or being aggressive towards " yourself " . One interesting way to do this is to use your non- dominant hand to be the " cookie " . I know it sounds " cookie " (just couldn't resist the metaphor), but it is an interesting exercise. I don't know what I would do if I had to have cookies in the house, just a particular kind. I just have stopped buying them. But the last time I went down that aisle in the grocery store, I was tempted but realized I didn't even crave them as much. I might just try that suggestion I gave you, " talk " to the cookie. I do know that if I eat too many, it makes me feel awful. Without a gall bladder and a liver that is showing signs of fat in it, I find that I do not digest fat too well. Let me know how you make out. Sandy I've made it no secret I have an ongoing battle with cookies. And although I've been thinking I have a fairly reasonable relationship with " food, " I still consider cookies an enemy. A threat. Me-against-them, all the time. They are not going to go away, because my mother is 90 and she wants cookies. Suppose I had a tension-filled relationship with a co-worker. That every time we worked together, we had our eye on each other, and every time we had an interaction, our words were filled with contention. This isn't the way I deal with people. My natural inclination is for easy relations and cooperation. If I had such a relationship, my inclination would be to make peace with this co-worker, not to ask that she (or I) be removed to another department so that I didn't have to look at her. I would approach her and say something like, " Madge, you and I work together. What can we do so that we're actually together in this? I would like for us to be on the same team. " Now I'm wondering how to transfer this to the cookies. Because when I binge on them, it really is kind of an act of hostility to myself, since I know I'll feel bad and regret it afterwards (and even during.) Or maybe it's myself I need to make peace with, if a cookie binge is an aggressive act towards myself.Ellie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 25, 2012 Report Share Posted January 25, 2012 Ellie,would it work for you to make a promise to yourself that you can have a cookie whenever you want one BUT you have to sit down and focus on it and ENJOY it???if you are grabbing one on the run, it's easy to not pay attention to eating, and to use it as a way to defuse stress. but if you sit down and focus on that cookie, i think you will quickly figure out when you really want one and when you are just using it as a tool for something else. i agree with your thought that it could be an act of hostility towards yourself... but of course i'm not in your mind so i can't say! but saying, " ah, well, i'm craving a cookie, let me take a momentary break and sit down and relax and enjoy this beautiful cookie, " well, that's already an act of self love right there, the opposite of hostility. what's that expression about you attract more bees with honey than with vinegar? i find that very true of myself. i'm much more likely to succeed at various things if i'm loving and kind to myself. hth,abby Ellie, I don't know if you journal, but I used to do it a lot. And I would often have a " dialogue " with in this case it might be the " cookies " or being aggressive towards " yourself " . One interesting way to do this is to use your non- dominant hand to be the " cookie " . I know it sounds " cookie " (just couldn't resist the metaphor), but it is an interesting exercise. I don't know what I would do if I had to have cookies in the house, just a particular kind. I just have stopped buying them. But the last time I went down that aisle in the grocery store, I was tempted but realized I didn't even crave them as much. I might just try that suggestion I gave you, " talk " to the cookie. I do know that if I eat too many, it makes me feel awful. Without a gall bladder and a liver that is showing signs of fat in it, I find that I do not digest fat too well. Let me know how you make out. Sandy I've made it no secret I have an ongoing battle with cookies. And although I've been thinking I have a fairly reasonable relationship with " food, " I still consider cookies an enemy. A threat. Me-against-them, all the time. They are not going to go away, because my mother is 90 and she wants cookies. Suppose I had a tension-filled relationship with a co-worker. That every time we worked together, we had our eye on each other, and every time we had an interaction, our words were filled with contention. This isn't the way I deal with people. My natural inclination is for easy relations and cooperation. If I had such a relationship, my inclination would be to make peace with this co-worker, not to ask that she (or I) be removed to another department so that I didn't have to look at her. I would approach her and say something like, " Madge, you and I work together. What can we do so that we're actually together in this? I would like for us to be on the same team. " Now I'm wondering how to transfer this to the cookies. Because when I binge on them, it really is kind of an act of hostility to myself, since I know I'll feel bad and regret it afterwards (and even during.) Or maybe it's myself I need to make peace with, if a cookie binge is an aggressive act towards myself.Ellie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 25, 2012 Report Share Posted January 25, 2012 Ellie, I really like your analogy, I think you might be onto something with thinking of the cookies as you would a co-worker you are having difficulty interacting with. I am going to remember this suggestion when I find myself facing a food I typically feel powerless around! Good luck with this, let us know how things go with this approach. > > Hoo, boy, the dreaded confinement to the table!! " OK, cookie, you and I need to sit down and have a talk. " Eeks, I'll do anything to avoid a confrontation. This could be a thought. > > As for talking to the cookies.... yes, it does sound " cookie " :-) but.... I did that. When I walked through the kitchen I said, " Hi, cookies, how are you doing? " It was ridiculous but, again, I thought of a co-worker I used to have.... one of the people I could count on one hand that I haven't been able to like in my whole life.... and I am comparing my cookie craving to this person. So I need to be able to walk past and be friendly without getting into it together. And if I decide to have a couple cookies.... well, that would be like giving shift report to this girl (we were nurses.) Conveying information, being pleasant, and keeping it short. > > In some area of my mind, I'm saying, " Oh, for pete's sake. This is *cookies.* Surely I can find something more important to fixate on. > > Ellie > > > >________________________________ > > > > > >I would often have a > " dialogue " with in this case it might be the " cookies " or being > aggressive towards " yourself " . I might just try that suggestion I gave you, " talk " to the cookie. > > > > > >would it work for you to make a promise to yourself that you can have a cookie whenever you want one BUT you have to sit down and focus on it and ENJOY it??? > >if you are grabbing one on the run, it's easy to not pay attention to eating, and to use it as a way to defuse stress. but if you sit down and focus on that cookie, i think you will quickly figure out when you really want one > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 25, 2012 Report Share Posted January 25, 2012 Ellie, I really like your analogy, I think you might be onto something with thinking of the cookies as you would a co-worker you are having difficulty interacting with. I am going to remember this suggestion when I find myself facing a food I typically feel powerless around! Good luck with this, let us know how things go with this approach. > > Hoo, boy, the dreaded confinement to the table!! " OK, cookie, you and I need to sit down and have a talk. " Eeks, I'll do anything to avoid a confrontation. This could be a thought. > > As for talking to the cookies.... yes, it does sound " cookie " :-) but.... I did that. When I walked through the kitchen I said, " Hi, cookies, how are you doing? " It was ridiculous but, again, I thought of a co-worker I used to have.... one of the people I could count on one hand that I haven't been able to like in my whole life.... and I am comparing my cookie craving to this person. So I need to be able to walk past and be friendly without getting into it together. And if I decide to have a couple cookies.... well, that would be like giving shift report to this girl (we were nurses.) Conveying information, being pleasant, and keeping it short. > > In some area of my mind, I'm saying, " Oh, for pete's sake. This is *cookies.* Surely I can find something more important to fixate on. > > Ellie > > > >________________________________ > > > > > >I would often have a > " dialogue " with in this case it might be the " cookies " or being > aggressive towards " yourself " . I might just try that suggestion I gave you, " talk " to the cookie. > > > > > >would it work for you to make a promise to yourself that you can have a cookie whenever you want one BUT you have to sit down and focus on it and ENJOY it??? > >if you are grabbing one on the run, it's easy to not pay attention to eating, and to use it as a way to defuse stress. but if you sit down and focus on that cookie, i think you will quickly figure out when you really want one > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 28, 2012 Report Share Posted January 28, 2012 You know what, I haven't eaten any for 3 days. The cookie jar is still half full. Ellie Ellie, I really like your analogy, I think you might be onto something with thinking of the cookies as you would a co-worker you are having difficulty interacting with. I am going to remember this suggestion when I find myself facing a food I typically feel powerless around! Good luck with this, let us know how things go with this approach. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 28, 2012 Report Share Posted January 28, 2012 You know what, I haven't eaten any for 3 days. The cookie jar is still half full. Ellie Ellie, I really like your analogy, I think you might be onto something with thinking of the cookies as you would a co-worker you are having difficulty interacting with. I am going to remember this suggestion when I find myself facing a food I typically feel powerless around! Good luck with this, let us know how things go with this approach. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 28, 2012 Report Share Posted January 28, 2012 You know what, I haven't eaten any for 3 days. The cookie jar is still half full. Ellie Ellie, I really like your analogy, I think you might be onto something with thinking of the cookies as you would a co-worker you are having difficulty interacting with. I am going to remember this suggestion when I find myself facing a food I typically feel powerless around! Good luck with this, let us know how things go with this approach. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 28, 2012 Report Share Posted January 28, 2012 A few months ago as I gingerly waded into the IE pool, I found myself craving something that unnerved me: Snickers. It was right around halloween, so I was able to quell it via the lone Snickers mini in my son's stash. A few days later I feel brave enough to buy a bag of fun size ones. Normally it would have been gone in just a few days. Interestingly, as I'm falling asleep last night, for some reason it hits me...that bag is still around. In fact, its like 2/3 full! So I celebrate with you on those cookies! Amazing how free it feels to know the food really can lose its power!Sent from my Samsung Epicâ„¢ 4G Touch --- Re: Making peace with cookies To: "IntuitiveEating_Support " <IntuitiveEating_Support > CC: You know what, I haven't eaten any for 3 days. The cookie jar is still half full. Ellie Ellie, I really like your analogy, I think you might be onto something with thinking of the cookies as you would a co-worker you are having difficulty interacting with. I am going to remember this suggestion when I find myself facing a food I typically feel powerless around! Good luck with this, let us know how things go with this approach. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 28, 2012 Report Share Posted January 28, 2012 A few months ago as I gingerly waded into the IE pool, I found myself craving something that unnerved me: Snickers. It was right around halloween, so I was able to quell it via the lone Snickers mini in my son's stash. A few days later I feel brave enough to buy a bag of fun size ones. Normally it would have been gone in just a few days. Interestingly, as I'm falling asleep last night, for some reason it hits me...that bag is still around. In fact, its like 2/3 full! So I celebrate with you on those cookies! Amazing how free it feels to know the food really can lose its power!Sent from my Samsung Epicâ„¢ 4G Touch --- Re: Making peace with cookies To: "IntuitiveEating_Support " <IntuitiveEating_Support > CC: You know what, I haven't eaten any for 3 days. The cookie jar is still half full. Ellie Ellie, I really like your analogy, I think you might be onto something with thinking of the cookies as you would a co-worker you are having difficulty interacting with. I am going to remember this suggestion when I find myself facing a food I typically feel powerless around! Good luck with this, let us know how things go with this approach. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 28, 2012 Report Share Posted January 28, 2012 A few months ago as I gingerly waded into the IE pool, I found myself craving something that unnerved me: Snickers. It was right around halloween, so I was able to quell it via the lone Snickers mini in my son's stash. A few days later I feel brave enough to buy a bag of fun size ones. Normally it would have been gone in just a few days. Interestingly, as I'm falling asleep last night, for some reason it hits me...that bag is still around. In fact, its like 2/3 full! So I celebrate with you on those cookies! Amazing how free it feels to know the food really can lose its power!Sent from my Samsung Epicâ„¢ 4G Touch --- Re: Making peace with cookies To: "IntuitiveEating_Support " <IntuitiveEating_Support > CC: You know what, I haven't eaten any for 3 days. The cookie jar is still half full. Ellie Ellie, I really like your analogy, I think you might be onto something with thinking of the cookies as you would a co-worker you are having difficulty interacting with. I am going to remember this suggestion when I find myself facing a food I typically feel powerless around! Good luck with this, let us know how things go with this approach. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 30, 2012 Report Share Posted January 30, 2012 Tilley,awesome!way to keep that nonjudgemental " food anthropologist " hat on and curiously explore! best,abby I was craving cookies the other day in school. It was all that I could think about. So I went to the store right after school and bought four diffent kinds that looked good. They are now in my cabinet. I must admire that it feels reassuring to have them there. One kind--mint Milanos, I ate one, and didn't think it tasted all that great. I used to eat the whole package in one sitting. I did eat a lot of the Nutter Butters, but didn't even open the ginger snaps or the other ones. I was perfectly aware of the power of cravings.itreselly was all that I was thinking about,and the only thing to do seemed to be to not fight it,so there it is. I did eat a bunch of the mint Milanos a different day, and whether they actually tasted better or I was being unconscious because of stress, I don,t know. I am trying to pay attention. Tilley > > A few months ago as I gingerly waded into the IE pool, I found myself craving something that unnerved me: Snickers. It was right around halloween, so I was able to quell it via the lone Snickers mini in my son's stash. A few days later I feel brave enough to buy a bag of fun size ones. Normally it would have been gone in just a few days. Interestingly, as I'm falling asleep last night, for some reason it hits me...that bag is still around. In fact, its like 2/3 full! So I celebrate with you on those cookies! Amazing how free it feels to know the food really can lose its power! > > > Sent from my Samsung Epic™ 4G Touch > > --- Re: Making peace with cookies > > To: " IntuitiveEating_Support " <IntuitiveEating_Support > > CC: > > You know what, I haven't eaten any for 3 days. The cookie jar is still half full. > Ellie > > > > Ellie, > > I really like your analogy, I think you might be onto something with thinking of the cookies as you would a co-worker you are having difficulty interacting with. I am going to remember this suggestion when I find myself facing a food I typically feel powerless around! Good luck with this, let us know how things go with this approach. > > > > > > TODAY(Beta) • Powered by Yahoo! > Star who got his start in a Abdul video > Can you guess which famous actor's first gig was in " Forever Your Girl " at the age of 8? > Privacy Policy > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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