Re: Emotional eating - or just needing extra weight?

[Guest guest]

Hi Sandarah,

Just a couple of thoughts here:

Do you do any journaling? cameron has a book about journaling (several,

actually) but I am thinking of Write Yourself Thin. I find that journaling

really helps me process feelings. But at the same time, I do not make journaling

a rule. I have just noticed that I receive a benefit from it and there are times

I WANT that benefit. Anyway, journaling.

Other thought is do you ever do experiments? Ever experiment with ideas about

eating like for this meal and this one particular food I'm going to see what it

feels like to leave one bite uneaten on my plate. Then just treat yourself with

compassion as you have your experience in that experiment. I find that

experiments are very freeing, even if they do contain emotions i'd rather not

feel. I find that paying attention to what I am experiencing is instructive.

Last night we got chinese food for dinner. I noticed after I ate that I was

extremely tired. Didn't know if it was msg or eating too much or something else

but I knew that particular meal did not satisfy me. Next time I might try an

experiment of eating that particular food while paying more attention. Not try

to limit the quantities but just to notice my experience.

I too really struggle with making things into rules but if I completely shift my

attention from the rule to just noticing how I feel and what I'm experiencing,

it really helps me to relax, be calm and observe.I may still eat more than I

really want but the main experience isn't about that. It's about noticing. Just

noticing. And if possible, reflecting on what I've noticed.

---- sanamu1234 wrote:

> Hi all, just got back from attending a conference out of town. The trip was

pleasant enough but I found myself eating without hunger or paying attention to

my body (other than thinking I was too fat).

>

> I just can't get myself to honor my body's hunger as any attempt at

restriction feels like a rule and I am into rebellion before I can even think.

>

> I did wait for hunger initially on IE and it was great - then, just like with

a diet, I fell off the wagon and haven't been able to get back into waiting for

hunger at all. So, obviously it became a rule to me and I'm stuck in my ages-old

rebellion.

>

> Plus, I think I really need to address my emotional eating as I can see how

over the course of the past three days I was eating due to my emotions. I don't

know how to stop mid-course though; I'm always waiting for a stress-free time to

get on top of my eating.

>

> It was a nice trip where I got to stay at a fabulous resort in the mountains.

Unfortunately the topic was on recently enacted assisted suicide laws and it was

a real downer. Important, yes I understand, but truthfully I have enough

depressing content every day at work so going to a retreat/workshop and taking

that in for two days was - stressful. Especially having lost three members of

my immediate family in the last few years - death and dying I was not really up

for. Know what I mean?

>

> Plus I went with a friend who was really needy and high maintenance, so I sat

and stuffed myself around her. I like her, but wow, what a complainer! Gees,

no wonder I've been eating so much chocolate. I hadn't really thought that out.

>

> Maybe I would have been more in touch with my feelings (and possible CHOICES)

if I hadn't been so quick to eat past them. Dang!

>

> So... has anyone had success with stopping eating when stressed mid stress??

I'm great at retrospectives - but that's not really helpful if one wants to stop

eating compulsively is it?

>

> And... any thoughts on how to move past the diet rebellion with regards to

making rules out of IE? How is waiting for hunger not a rule??? When does a

rule become a choice? I don't get it. I just don't.

>

> Sandarah

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Sandarah,

Just a couple of thoughts here:

Do you do any journaling? cameron has a book about journaling (several,

actually) but I am thinking of Write Yourself Thin. I find that journaling

really helps me process feelings. But at the same time, I do not make journaling

a rule. I have just noticed that I receive a benefit from it and there are times

I WANT that benefit. Anyway, journaling.

Other thought is do you ever do experiments? Ever experiment with ideas about

eating like for this meal and this one particular food I'm going to see what it

feels like to leave one bite uneaten on my plate. Then just treat yourself with

compassion as you have your experience in that experiment. I find that

experiments are very freeing, even if they do contain emotions i'd rather not

feel. I find that paying attention to what I am experiencing is instructive.

Last night we got chinese food for dinner. I noticed after I ate that I was

extremely tired. Didn't know if it was msg or eating too much or something else

but I knew that particular meal did not satisfy me. Next time I might try an

experiment of eating that particular food while paying more attention. Not try

to limit the quantities but just to notice my experience.

I too really struggle with making things into rules but if I completely shift my

attention from the rule to just noticing how I feel and what I'm experiencing,

it really helps me to relax, be calm and observe.I may still eat more than I

really want but the main experience isn't about that. It's about noticing. Just

noticing. And if possible, reflecting on what I've noticed.

---- sanamu1234 wrote:

> Hi all, just got back from attending a conference out of town. The trip was

pleasant enough but I found myself eating without hunger or paying attention to

my body (other than thinking I was too fat).

>

> I just can't get myself to honor my body's hunger as any attempt at

restriction feels like a rule and I am into rebellion before I can even think.

>

> I did wait for hunger initially on IE and it was great - then, just like with

a diet, I fell off the wagon and haven't been able to get back into waiting for

hunger at all. So, obviously it became a rule to me and I'm stuck in my ages-old

rebellion.

>

> Plus, I think I really need to address my emotional eating as I can see how

over the course of the past three days I was eating due to my emotions. I don't

know how to stop mid-course though; I'm always waiting for a stress-free time to

get on top of my eating.

>

> It was a nice trip where I got to stay at a fabulous resort in the mountains.

Unfortunately the topic was on recently enacted assisted suicide laws and it was

a real downer. Important, yes I understand, but truthfully I have enough

depressing content every day at work so going to a retreat/workshop and taking

that in for two days was - stressful. Especially having lost three members of

my immediate family in the last few years - death and dying I was not really up

for. Know what I mean?

>

> Plus I went with a friend who was really needy and high maintenance, so I sat

and stuffed myself around her. I like her, but wow, what a complainer! Gees,

no wonder I've been eating so much chocolate. I hadn't really thought that out.

>

> Maybe I would have been more in touch with my feelings (and possible CHOICES)

if I hadn't been so quick to eat past them. Dang!

>

> So... has anyone had success with stopping eating when stressed mid stress??

I'm great at retrospectives - but that's not really helpful if one wants to stop

eating compulsively is it?

>

> And... any thoughts on how to move past the diet rebellion with regards to

making rules out of IE? How is waiting for hunger not a rule??? When does a

rule become a choice? I don't get it. I just don't.

>

> Sandarah

>

>

[Guest guest]

Wow Sandarah, you've had a 'plate full' for sure. Such a topic not long after

your own losses must have hit you hard. Its a lot to ask of one's self to manage

such an event 'correctly' which is a major pit (trap) set up by diet mentality -

ye old perfection or (gasp!) failure . . .

About the only thing that came to me in regard to stopping and reversing that

pattern is to pat yourself on the back for NOTICING. That in and of itself is

the first step towards another way of dealing with arch enemy stress. Simply

noticing - " I'm stressed and eating because of it. " (or I'm eating because I'm

stressed) - helps to switch your focus from eating to stress. When you can

acknowledge that you are stressed, you can then choose how to deal with it.

Eating can be a red herring and lightning rod for all guilt and blame. Let the

stress be the focus and your eating will take care of itself.

BEST to you, Katcha

IEing since March 2007

>

> Hi all, just got back from attending a conference out of town. The trip was

pleasant enough but I found myself eating without hunger or paying attention to

my body (other than thinking I was too fat).

>

> I just can't get myself to honor my body's hunger as any attempt at

restriction feels like a rule and I am into rebellion before I can even think.

>

> I did wait for hunger initially on IE and it was great - then, just like with

a diet, I fell off the wagon and haven't been able to get back into waiting for

hunger at all. So, obviously it became a rule to me and I'm stuck in my ages-old

rebellion.

>

> Plus, I think I really need to address my emotional eating as I can see how

over the course of the past three days I was eating due to my emotions. I don't

know how to stop mid-course though; I'm always waiting for a stress-free time to

get on top of my eating.

>

> It was a nice trip where I got to stay at a fabulous resort in the mountains.

Unfortunately the topic was on recently enacted assisted suicide laws and it was

a real downer. Important, yes I understand, but truthfully I have enough

depressing content every day at work so going to a retreat/workshop and taking

that in for two days was - stressful. Especially having lost three members of

my immediate family in the last few years - death and dying I was not really up

for. Know what I mean?

>

> Plus I went with a friend who was really needy and high maintenance, so I sat

and stuffed myself around her. I like her, but wow, what a complainer! Gees,

no wonder I've been eating so much chocolate. I hadn't really thought that out.

>

> Maybe I would have been more in touch with my feelings (and possible CHOICES)

if I hadn't been so quick to eat past them. Dang!

>

> So... has anyone had success with stopping eating when stressed mid stress??

I'm great at retrospectives - but that's not really helpful if one wants to stop

eating compulsively is it?

>

> And... any thoughts on how to move past the diet rebellion with regards to

making rules out of IE? How is waiting for hunger not a rule??? When does a

rule become a choice? I don't get it. I just don't.

>

> Sandarah

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks , nice reframes. Obviously, I tend to get rigid - probably when

scared about not getting my food/IE/diet right. Hadn't heard of the book, will

add it to my list. It would probably help me get out of the retrospectives and

more into the present which I sorely need. Sandarah

> > Hi all, just got back from attending a conference out of town. The trip

was pleasant enough but I found myself eating without hunger or paying attention

to my body (other than thinking I was too fat).

> >

> > I just can't get myself to honor my body's hunger as any attempt at

restriction feels like a rule and I am into rebellion before I can even think.

> >

> > I did wait for hunger initially on IE and it was great - then, just like

with a diet, I fell off the wagon and haven't been able to get back into waiting

for hunger at all. So, obviously it became a rule to me and I'm stuck in my

ages-old rebellion.

> >

> > Plus, I think I really need to address my emotional eating as I can see how

over the course of the past three days I was eating due to my emotions. I don't

know how to stop mid-course though; I'm always waiting for a stress-free time to

get on top of my eating.

> >

> > It was a nice trip where I got to stay at a fabulous resort in the

mountains. Unfortunately the topic was on recently enacted assisted suicide

laws and it was a real downer. Important, yes I understand, but truthfully I

have enough depressing content every day at work so going to a retreat/workshop

and taking that in for two days was - stressful. Especially having lost three

members of my immediate family in the last few years - death and dying I was not

really up for. Know what I mean?

> >

> > Plus I went with a friend who was really needy and high maintenance, so I

sat and stuffed myself around her. I like her, but wow, what a complainer!

Gees, no wonder I've been eating so much chocolate. I hadn't really thought

that out.

> >

> > Maybe I would have been more in touch with my feelings (and possible

CHOICES) if I hadn't been so quick to eat past them. Dang!

> >

> > So... has anyone had success with stopping eating when stressed mid stress??

I'm great at retrospectives - but that's not really helpful if one wants to stop

eating compulsively is it?

> >

> > And... any thoughts on how to move past the diet rebellion with regards to

making rules out of IE? How is waiting for hunger not a rule??? When does a

rule become a choice? I don't get it. I just don't.

> >

> > Sandarah

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Very good thoughts: " Simply noticing - 'I'm stressed and eating because of it.'

(or I'm eating because I'm stressed) - helps to switch your focus from eating to

stress. When you can acknowledge that you are stressed, you can then choose how

to deal with it. "

So far, I haven't gotten quite that fine a point on it - that's a great goal to

work towards though - noticing that I'm stressed rather than I'm eating and I

shouldn't be. Whew.

You know, after I'd posted and sat back a bit, I felt so relieved. I think the

fat feelings were due to believing I was totally out of control, that IE had

failed and that eating the chocolate was " wrong " and proof that I was truly,

hopelessly addicted. Once I realized that eating the chocolate was a stress

response to feelings I was out of touch with, I felt thinner (?!)and was back to

feeling optimistic about this process.

Also, I'd done poorly at planning my self care in advance including not having

thought out lunch on the way there. We left my place around noon and our route

included a long span across the mountains where there were " no services " for

several hours. The one little town before the pass had no, and I mean no,

restaurants. So we stopped at a service station and I bought candy bars,

popcorn and a soda. Not the greatest for my blood sugar, not the greatest for

my head and not the greatest for managing the stress of the drive over all -

plus it got me off on the wrong foot with my eating.

Well, another learning experience. I did wait until I was hungry to eat

breakfast this morning, even went to the store to get what I was out of and

wanted to eat.

Thanks for the feedback. Sandarah

> >

> > Hi all, just got back from attending a conference out of town. The trip

was pleasant enough but I found myself eating without hunger or paying attention

to my body (other than thinking I was too fat).

> >

> > I just can't get myself to honor my body's hunger as any attempt at

restriction feels like a rule and I am into rebellion before I can even think.

> >

> > I did wait for hunger initially on IE and it was great - then, just like

with a diet, I fell off the wagon and haven't been able to get back into waiting

for hunger at all. So, obviously it became a rule to me and I'm stuck in my

ages-old rebellion.

> >

> > Plus, I think I really need to address my emotional eating as I can see how

over the course of the past three days I was eating due to my emotions. I don't

know how to stop mid-course though; I'm always waiting for a stress-free time to

get on top of my eating.

> >

> > It was a nice trip where I got to stay at a fabulous resort in the

mountains. Unfortunately the topic was on recently enacted assisted suicide

laws and it was a real downer. Important, yes I understand, but truthfully I

have enough depressing content every day at work so going to a retreat/workshop

and taking that in for two days was - stressful. Especially having lost three

members of my immediate family in the last few years - death and dying I was not

really up for. Know what I mean?

> >

> > Plus I went with a friend who was really needy and high maintenance, so I

sat and stuffed myself around her. I like her, but wow, what a complainer!

Gees, no wonder I've been eating so much chocolate. I hadn't really thought

that out.

> >

> > Maybe I would have been more in touch with my feelings (and possible

CHOICES) if I hadn't been so quick to eat past them. Dang!

> >

> > So... has anyone had success with stopping eating when stressed mid stress??

I'm great at retrospectives - but that's not really helpful if one wants to stop

eating compulsively is it?

> >

> > And... any thoughts on how to move past the diet rebellion with regards to

making rules out of IE? How is waiting for hunger not a rule??? When does a

rule become a choice? I don't get it. I just don't.

> >

> > Sandarah

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Sandarah -- I've been having similar frustrations recently. I was trying to eat at only one place in my house because I felt I've grown lazy in regard to eating IE, and I thought that step might help. Unfortunately I tried to attach a rule and it was a couple of days before I realized that "if I'm not hungry enough to set the place and eat there then I'm not really hungry" is simply disguised diet thinking. So I dumped the hungry requirement, and I'm back to giving myself full permission to eat when I want to eat.

Then I realized that although I've done a pretty good job of legalizing everything, I still can't tell when I'm eating from body hunger or mind hunger, and as a result if I try to not eat until I'm hungry, sometimes I arrive at 10:00 at night having only eaten 300-500 calories and suddenly I'm beyond hungry and have to eat until I can comfortably stop.

I have found that when I have that antsy, anxious feeling and I'm starting to look for food, that sometimes I can jot down what happened during the last few hours and if I can spot the trigger that is enough to get rid of it without eating.

And since I'll take my wins where I can get them, I'll take one for realizing I'm not at recognizing body hunger yet. And I'll take one for realizing (after 48 hours) that requiring hunger to eat every single time was diet think.

So my only suggestions are to attempt to spot the reason when you recognize the anxiety, and (from Overcoming Overeating) that it's OK to eat from what is called mouth hunger, but to look forward to the day when you will only eat from stomach hunger. And celebrate any wins you can, because we learn from repeating what we do right, not from berating ourselves for what didn't go right.

To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Sunday, October 23, 2011 1:10 AMSubject: Emotional eating - or just needing extra weight?

Hi all, just got back from attending a conference out of town. The trip was pleasant enough but I found myself eating without hunger or paying attention to my body (other than thinking I was too fat). I just can't get myself to honor my body's hunger as any attempt at restriction feels like a rule and I am into rebellion before I can even think. I did wait for hunger initially on IE and it was great - then, just like with a diet, I fell off the wagon and haven't been able to get back into waiting for hunger at all. So, obviously it became a rule to me and I'm stuck in my ages-old rebellion. Plus, I think I really need to address my emotional eating as I can see how over the course of the past three days I was eating due to my emotions. I don't know how to stop mid-course though; I'm always waiting for a stress-free time to get on top of my eating. It was a nice trip where I got to stay at a fabulous resort in the

mountains. Unfortunately the topic was on recently enacted assisted suicide laws and it was a real downer. Important, yes I understand, but truthfully I have enough depressing content every day at work so going to a retreat/workshop and taking that in for two days was - stressful. Especially having lost three members of my immediate family in the last few years - death and dying I was not really up for. Know what I mean?Plus I went with a friend who was really needy and high maintenance, so I sat and stuffed myself around her. I like her, but wow, what a complainer! Gees, no wonder I've been eating so much chocolate. I hadn't really thought that out. Maybe I would have been more in touch with my feelings (and possible CHOICES) if I hadn't been so quick to eat past them. Dang!So... has anyone had success with stopping eating when stressed mid stress?? I'm great at retrospectives - but that's not really helpful if one wants to stop

eating compulsively is it? And... any thoughts on how to move past the diet rebellion with regards to making rules out of IE? How is waiting for hunger not a rule??? When does a rule become a choice? I don't get it. I just don't. Sandarah

[Guest guest]

Katcha wrote, " Let the stress be the focus and your eating will take care of

itself. "

Wise words. When I focus on the food and how poorly my eating is going, I beat

up on myself and shift into control mode, being even harder on myself. When I

recognize it as stress eating, I call friends, journal, walk, watch comedies,

listen to jokes, do needlework, play games, take baths, sleep, and anything else

which might reduce the stress. I easily forgive myself the overeating and move

on in the present moment. Jane

[Guest guest]

Katcha wrote, " Let the stress be the focus and your eating will take care of

itself. "

Wise words. When I focus on the food and how poorly my eating is going, I beat

up on myself and shift into control mode, being even harder on myself. When I

recognize it as stress eating, I call friends, journal, walk, watch comedies,

listen to jokes, do needlework, play games, take baths, sleep, and anything else

which might reduce the stress. I easily forgive myself the overeating and move

on in the present moment. Jane

[Guest guest]

Sandarah wrote: So... has anyone had success with stopping eating when stressed mid stress?? I'm great at retrospectives - but that's not really helpful if one wants to stop eating compulsively is it? And... any thoughts on how to move past the diet rebellion with regards to making rules out of IE? How is waiting for hunger not a rule??? When does a rule become a choice? I don't get it. I just don't.

So, I would just start with noticing stress eating rather than trying to stop it. I am great at retrospective, too, but simply noticing that you are stress eating at that moment can subtly start to work on your ability to curb compulsive eating. I've mentioned this book in the past here, and it's really helped me to see compulsion in a new way: The Gift of Our Compulsions: A Revolutionary Approach to Self-Acceptance and Healing.

As far as making hard-and-fast rules out of IE, I know what you mean. Any kind of rule brings out that diet rebellion in me, too. A rule is usually something you are not supposed to do, but that you really want to do. The way I think about it is this: "I am allowed to eat when I am not hungry. I am allowed to eat whenever I want. I want to notice when and why I eat so that both eating and life are more enjoyable. In time, my body will learn that I will no longer deprive myself of food and give me clear physical signals that will be a joy to follow." It's not that you are not ALLOWED to eat without hunger, it's that, at some point, you won't really want to. I can't say that I am there yet, either. But I'm doing MUCH better.

These are good questions that we all deal with.

Mimi

Subject: Emotional eating - or just needing extra weight?To: IntuitiveEating_Support Date: Sunday, October 23, 2011, 1:10 AM

Hi all, just got back from attending a conference out of town. The trip was pleasant enough but I found myself eating without hunger or paying attention to my body (other than thinking I was too fat). I just can't get myself to honor my body's hunger as any attempt at restriction feels like a rule and I am into rebellion before I can even think. I did wait for hunger initially on IE and it was great - then, just like with a diet, I fell off the wagon and haven't been able to get back into waiting for hunger at all. So, obviously it became a rule to me and I'm stuck in my ages-old rebellion. Plus, I think I really need to address my emotional eating as I can see how over the course of the past three days I was eating due to my emotions. I don't know how to stop mid-course though; I'm always waiting for a stress-free time to get on top of my eating. It was a nice trip where I got to stay at a fabulous resort in the

mountains. Unfortunately the topic was on recently enacted assisted suicide laws and it was a real downer. Important, yes I understand, but truthfully I have enough depressing content every day at work so going to a retreat/workshop and taking that in for two days was - stressful. Especially having lost three members of my immediate family in the last few years - death and dying I was not really up for. Know what I mean?Plus I went with a friend who was really needy and high maintenance, so I sat and stuffed myself around her. I like her, but wow, what a complainer! Gees, no wonder I've been eating so much chocolate. I hadn't really thought that out. Maybe I would have been more in touch with my feelings (and possible CHOICES) if I hadn't been so quick to eat past them. Dang!So... has anyone had success with stopping eating when stressed mid stress?? I'm great at retrospectives - but that's not really helpful if one wants to stop

eating compulsively is it? And... any thoughts on how to move past the diet rebellion with regards to making rules out of IE? How is waiting for hunger not a rule??? When does a rule become a choice? I don't get it. I just don't. Sandarah

[Guest guest]

Sandarah wrote: So... has anyone had success with stopping eating when stressed mid stress?? I'm great at retrospectives - but that's not really helpful if one wants to stop eating compulsively is it? And... any thoughts on how to move past the diet rebellion with regards to making rules out of IE? How is waiting for hunger not a rule??? When does a rule become a choice? I don't get it. I just don't.

So, I would just start with noticing stress eating rather than trying to stop it. I am great at retrospective, too, but simply noticing that you are stress eating at that moment can subtly start to work on your ability to curb compulsive eating. I've mentioned this book in the past here, and it's really helped me to see compulsion in a new way: The Gift of Our Compulsions: A Revolutionary Approach to Self-Acceptance and Healing.

As far as making hard-and-fast rules out of IE, I know what you mean. Any kind of rule brings out that diet rebellion in me, too. A rule is usually something you are not supposed to do, but that you really want to do. The way I think about it is this: "I am allowed to eat when I am not hungry. I am allowed to eat whenever I want. I want to notice when and why I eat so that both eating and life are more enjoyable. In time, my body will learn that I will no longer deprive myself of food and give me clear physical signals that will be a joy to follow." It's not that you are not ALLOWED to eat without hunger, it's that, at some point, you won't really want to. I can't say that I am there yet, either. But I'm doing MUCH better.

These are good questions that we all deal with.

Mimi

Subject: Emotional eating - or just needing extra weight?To: IntuitiveEating_Support Date: Sunday, October 23, 2011, 1:10 AM

Hi all, just got back from attending a conference out of town. The trip was pleasant enough but I found myself eating without hunger or paying attention to my body (other than thinking I was too fat). I just can't get myself to honor my body's hunger as any attempt at restriction feels like a rule and I am into rebellion before I can even think. I did wait for hunger initially on IE and it was great - then, just like with a diet, I fell off the wagon and haven't been able to get back into waiting for hunger at all. So, obviously it became a rule to me and I'm stuck in my ages-old rebellion. Plus, I think I really need to address my emotional eating as I can see how over the course of the past three days I was eating due to my emotions. I don't know how to stop mid-course though; I'm always waiting for a stress-free time to get on top of my eating. It was a nice trip where I got to stay at a fabulous resort in the

mountains. Unfortunately the topic was on recently enacted assisted suicide laws and it was a real downer. Important, yes I understand, but truthfully I have enough depressing content every day at work so going to a retreat/workshop and taking that in for two days was - stressful. Especially having lost three members of my immediate family in the last few years - death and dying I was not really up for. Know what I mean?Plus I went with a friend who was really needy and high maintenance, so I sat and stuffed myself around her. I like her, but wow, what a complainer! Gees, no wonder I've been eating so much chocolate. I hadn't really thought that out. Maybe I would have been more in touch with my feelings (and possible CHOICES) if I hadn't been so quick to eat past them. Dang!So... has anyone had success with stopping eating when stressed mid stress?? I'm great at retrospectives - but that's not really helpful if one wants to stop

eating compulsively is it? And... any thoughts on how to move past the diet rebellion with regards to making rules out of IE? How is waiting for hunger not a rule??? When does a rule become a choice? I don't get it. I just don't. Sandarah

[Guest guest]

Sandarah wrote: So... has anyone had success with stopping eating when stressed mid stress?? I'm great at retrospectives - but that's not really helpful if one wants to stop eating compulsively is it? And... any thoughts on how to move past the diet rebellion with regards to making rules out of IE? How is waiting for hunger not a rule??? When does a rule become a choice? I don't get it. I just don't.

So, I would just start with noticing stress eating rather than trying to stop it. I am great at retrospective, too, but simply noticing that you are stress eating at that moment can subtly start to work on your ability to curb compulsive eating. I've mentioned this book in the past here, and it's really helped me to see compulsion in a new way: The Gift of Our Compulsions: A Revolutionary Approach to Self-Acceptance and Healing.

As far as making hard-and-fast rules out of IE, I know what you mean. Any kind of rule brings out that diet rebellion in me, too. A rule is usually something you are not supposed to do, but that you really want to do. The way I think about it is this: "I am allowed to eat when I am not hungry. I am allowed to eat whenever I want. I want to notice when and why I eat so that both eating and life are more enjoyable. In time, my body will learn that I will no longer deprive myself of food and give me clear physical signals that will be a joy to follow." It's not that you are not ALLOWED to eat without hunger, it's that, at some point, you won't really want to. I can't say that I am there yet, either. But I'm doing MUCH better.

These are good questions that we all deal with.

Mimi

Subject: Emotional eating - or just needing extra weight?To: IntuitiveEating_Support Date: Sunday, October 23, 2011, 1:10 AM

Hi all, just got back from attending a conference out of town. The trip was pleasant enough but I found myself eating without hunger or paying attention to my body (other than thinking I was too fat). I just can't get myself to honor my body's hunger as any attempt at restriction feels like a rule and I am into rebellion before I can even think. I did wait for hunger initially on IE and it was great - then, just like with a diet, I fell off the wagon and haven't been able to get back into waiting for hunger at all. So, obviously it became a rule to me and I'm stuck in my ages-old rebellion. Plus, I think I really need to address my emotional eating as I can see how over the course of the past three days I was eating due to my emotions. I don't know how to stop mid-course though; I'm always waiting for a stress-free time to get on top of my eating. It was a nice trip where I got to stay at a fabulous resort in the

mountains. Unfortunately the topic was on recently enacted assisted suicide laws and it was a real downer. Important, yes I understand, but truthfully I have enough depressing content every day at work so going to a retreat/workshop and taking that in for two days was - stressful. Especially having lost three members of my immediate family in the last few years - death and dying I was not really up for. Know what I mean?Plus I went with a friend who was really needy and high maintenance, so I sat and stuffed myself around her. I like her, but wow, what a complainer! Gees, no wonder I've been eating so much chocolate. I hadn't really thought that out. Maybe I would have been more in touch with my feelings (and possible CHOICES) if I hadn't been so quick to eat past them. Dang!So... has anyone had success with stopping eating when stressed mid stress?? I'm great at retrospectives - but that's not really helpful if one wants to stop

eating compulsively is it? And... any thoughts on how to move past the diet rebellion with regards to making rules out of IE? How is waiting for hunger not a rule??? When does a rule become a choice? I don't get it. I just don't. Sandarah