Does Your Nada Accuse You of Things SHE Did or Other People Have Done?

January 22, 2011

I wonder sometimes if it is my nada's dementia or it the BPD. I know to some it

may not matter what the cause, but it makes me nuts.

My nada accuses me of 'supporting all of Maine' when she sends me money.

My nada told me awhile ago, " God will never forgive you for having an abortion

when you were married to " . I never HAD an abortion and I was never

pregnant. Furthermore I wouldn't have aborted it back then if I WAS pregnant.

SHE had two abortions and both times she said because she did not want a baby

ruining HER figure. She claims the only reason she had ME was because my

grandmother wanted a grandchild and she begged her not to abort me. Nada will

sometimes then say that 'I wish I had because you are of no use to me'.

My nada accuses me of being an alcoholic, but she was never one and I haven't

been drunk once in my life.

My nada accuses me of being a 'drug addict' and again never took a drug in my

life and greatly dislike even taking an aspirin.

My nada accuses me of being a 'party girl' if I'm not home when she calls me and

out at a friend's birthday party etc. I know I should lie and tell nada that I

am out shopping but you can't quite do that when she calls at 8 or 9 pm and

you're not home.

My nada TELLS me I am not to date as only teenagers date and besides - 'the only

reason any man would want YOU is for MY money'. I don't tell her when I DO have

a date and if she calls when I am out on the rare date, I tell her that I was

out to a movie with a girlfriend, but that usually elicits the " I am wasting

money " speech and 'we are in a depression - don't you have any brain in that

head of yours'.

Do any of you get accusations that are totally unfounded from your nada? Where

do these come from? While I know they are absurd and totally false, they DO

anger me because part of me wants to defend myself and the other part of me

knows there is no point in that so I change the subject. When nada had it more

together, she was like a tenacious bull and wouldn't give up the topic. You

can't tell her " this subject is off limits " because she is like a two year old

and that doesn't work - only angers her worse and you get the " I'M the MOTHER

and YOU act like YOU'RE MY mother " routine. I can change the subject now though

and I do so. Nada actually goes along with it, but that usually just leads to

another rant about something else I have never done so it starts all over again.

N.C. is not an option and I do limit calls as much as I can.

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