Can't sleep--too much anxiety

January 22, 2011

Well, once again I'm up due to middle of the night anxiety and can't get back to

sleep. I finally decided to get out of bed and go surf the net for bike on

Craigslist that I can fix up. It's soothes me and takes my mind off of whatever

it is fixing on and not letting go.

This anxiety is really starting to affect everything in my life now. The massive

lack of sleep is limiting the plans I can make with friends because I'm just too

tired. I talked to my boss today about the anxiety, and she is aware of my

situation and very understanding--she knows that the ordeal with nada is adding

undue stress. She also knows that I normally handle stress quite well but she

can see that this is not having a good affect on me. But she also knows I'm

seeking help, so even though it's putting pressure on work, I'm fortunate enough

to have a very understanding supervisor.

I'm a little irritated with the EAP because they were supposed to have gotten

back to me with options for me to begin therapy by today but they didn't. I

actually had to call them, also because I wanted to talk to my " case worker "

about the panic attack from yesterday. He did call me back before he left the

office and apologized that they hadn't been able to get the information to me

yet but that they would definitely have it by Monday. It's just that I feel like

my psychological coping mechanisms are getting exponentially worse everyday and

I really need to deal with this. ly, I do not know what shape I will be in

by Monday.

In the past, I have on a rare occasion had some anxiety about things that are

quite normal to have anxiety about--finances, work stress, etc. But I've always

been able to take some deep breathes, tell myself it's okay, decide that I would

do X tomorrow in regards to the matter, and that would calm me down. I would

decide upon an action to begin resolving the matter, and I would feel immensely

better. Not so right now.

Is there anyone else surfing the boards and awake out there?

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