Re: My Nada has learned how to text too!!!

January 10, 2011

My own personal take on attachment is that as long as you still feel angry and

frustrated with your mother, you're attached. Detachment to me is separating

from a need to engage, no longer having a need for emotional involvement, aka

neutrality. When your bpd mom no longer has the power to affect your emotions,

or only very, very mildly impacts your emotions, then you've detached. Its

like, you care... but from a great and safe distance.

Like your situation, my nada has switched tactics in her old age. When she was

younger she was a Queen/Witch bpd, but now in old age she has become a Waif bpd.

The Queen/Witch still makes an appearance, but its like a " guest shot " . The

Waif is now the star of the show. I find Waif behavior even more painful to

deal with than her being tyrannical, hostile and hateful, so I remain in No

Contact.

-Annie

>

> She's been observing me texing friends and family memebrs and now she's

started to text me. Nothing bad though ( cause she knows if she acts up then I

go NC again ). I got 2 messages from her saying " It's mom " , meaning here's my

new cell ph number. Ok, for some reason, it made me furious. " MOM " ?? Honestly it

almost meant as if she wanted to say, hello, I'm still your mom. Remember,I'm

your mother. Your " mother " calling,but unlike most nadas she doesn't just blurt

it out, she plays mind games with a poker face. She knows I've gone LC with her

but pretends that things are the same and every time I see her she puts a

neutral face. Well, I didn't text her back. Now, today I got an email from her,

here's my new cell phone phone number, since I hadn't text her back the other

day.... which I wont answer as usuall. The other thing is I had told her many

times not to email me at work just my personal email. Well, guess what she

emails me at both places and when I questioned her, she would say, oh sorry, my

memory, dementia,I'm loosing it, haha... yeah cute.

>

> Although I think I'm emotionally detached from her ( not sure to what extend

), but still feel furious when I see her playing these little games and boy if

you put your guards down then she strikes back like you don't believe.

>

> My Nada has gone from a complaining, guilt trip, loud one to a hermit. Change

of tactic I guess.

>

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