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Struggling A Bit

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I've done okay with food today, but for some reason I keep thinking about going

to buy food. It's almost as if I am just wanting to go through the motion of

getting it and bringing it home. I need to think about this, I guess, to figure

out what's going on, what it is I'm really needing.

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Do you need food? Ellie

I've done okay with food today, but for some reason I keep thinking about going to buy food. It's almost as if I am just wanting to go through the motion of getting it and bringing it home. I need to think about this, I guess, to figure out what's going on, what it is I'm really needing.

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Sounds like you are onto something! Where is that emptiness coming from? Are

you able to just be with the feelings?

Sent from my Verizon Wireless Phone

--- Original Message ---

Sent: January 28, 2012 1/28/12

To: IntuitiveEating_Support

Subject: Re: Struggling A Bit

 

Ellie, I don't think so. I mean, I do need to grocery shop because my supplies

are dwindling, but I'm going to do that on Wed. because I'll get a discount.

Plus it's not like I was hungry or wanting to eat. It has something to do with

emptiness, emptiness in my heart and soul, I think. Maybe occupying myself with

buying and eating food is a way that I procrastinate dealing with my inner

emptiness.

Sara

>

> Do you need food?

>

> Ellie

>

>

>

> >________________________________

> >

> >

> >I've done okay with food today, but for some reason I keep thinking about

going to buy food. It's almost as if I am just wanting to go through the motion

of getting it and bringing it home. I need to think about this, I guess, to

figure out what's going on, what it is I'm really needing.

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

>

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Sounds like you are onto something! Where is that emptiness coming from? Are

you able to just be with the feelings?

Sent from my Verizon Wireless Phone

--- Original Message ---

Sent: January 28, 2012 1/28/12

To: IntuitiveEating_Support

Subject: Re: Struggling A Bit

 

Ellie, I don't think so. I mean, I do need to grocery shop because my supplies

are dwindling, but I'm going to do that on Wed. because I'll get a discount.

Plus it's not like I was hungry or wanting to eat. It has something to do with

emptiness, emptiness in my heart and soul, I think. Maybe occupying myself with

buying and eating food is a way that I procrastinate dealing with my inner

emptiness.

Sara

>

> Do you need food?

>

> Ellie

>

>

>

> >________________________________

> >

> >

> >I've done okay with food today, but for some reason I keep thinking about

going to buy food. It's almost as if I am just wanting to go through the motion

of getting it and bringing it home. I need to think about this, I guess, to

figure out what's going on, what it is I'm really needing.

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

>

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Sounds like you are onto something! Where is that emptiness coming from? Are

you able to just be with the feelings?

Sent from my Verizon Wireless Phone

--- Original Message ---

Sent: January 28, 2012 1/28/12

To: IntuitiveEating_Support

Subject: Re: Struggling A Bit

 

Ellie, I don't think so. I mean, I do need to grocery shop because my supplies

are dwindling, but I'm going to do that on Wed. because I'll get a discount.

Plus it's not like I was hungry or wanting to eat. It has something to do with

emptiness, emptiness in my heart and soul, I think. Maybe occupying myself with

buying and eating food is a way that I procrastinate dealing with my inner

emptiness.

Sara

>

> Do you need food?

>

> Ellie

>

>

>

> >________________________________

> >

> >

> >I've done okay with food today, but for some reason I keep thinking about

going to buy food. It's almost as if I am just wanting to go through the motion

of getting it and bringing it home. I need to think about this, I guess, to

figure out what's going on, what it is I'm really needing.

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

>

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Sara, thank you so much!  What a beautiful sharing and insight.  I could actually see and feel your descriptions of those moments. They even filled me up.  Thanks.  Sandy

 

This post may sound like it has nothing to do with intuitive eating, yet for my entire life my eating has had to do with any and everything in addition to needing nourishment. So does it follow that if I let go of filling non-physical needs with food, that I have to replace it with something? This post may sound like I'm a little crazy (maybe I am!), but this is hitting the place where the emptiness is.

I spent a lot of time last night trying to determine what the emptiness is that I want to fill by buying bags of groceries. It is not an empty stomach. My body was nourished. But I didn't have the mounds of food covering the non-physical part of me. That for me feels naked, in a sense, and I was wanting to cover up. Does that even make sense?

It was this morning as I picked up a study group book to read the next chapter that I knew. It is emptiness within my soul. I think I actually already knew this. But I didn't really know how to fill that emptiness. Now I do. When I was going through divorce, someone told me to look for small moments of joy in each day, even in my pain. I did that enough to know that when I do this, I am filled with peace and joy. It is a place that no fresh-baked slice of lemon meringe pie could come close to touching. That is it. It is simply to look for these moments in everything I do. The answer is right here. All I have to do is to stop and fill up with it. But in the hecticness of living in the 21st century, I forget to let myself be filled with these things, to even notice them.

So here is what is filling me thus far today:

the brilliant winter sun casting sharp shadows of naked tree branches against my neighbor's white-planked house

the aroma of a hot mug of sweet jasmine tea

the squeak of the front door announcing the arrival of two of my sons

the graceful way tall pine trees outside my window move in today's strong wind

the feel of my ultra-soft robe against my skin

the distant sound of wind-chimes tinkling

a few hours of solitude at home

Sara

> >

> > Do you need food?

> >

> > Ellie

> >

> >

> >

> > >________________________________

> > > From: sarab80753 <sarab80753@>

> > >

> > >I've done okay with food today, but for some reason I keep thinking about going to buy food. It's almost as if I am just wanting to go through the motion of getting it and bringing it home. I need to think about this, I guess, to figure out what's going on, what it is I'm really needing.

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> >

>

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