Re: Re: feel like a horrible person

[Guest guest]

Okay, I don't have kids or step kids so take this with a grain of salt. But

have you considered not responding to step son? Just let him cry for a

while? I think if you go in to him and pick him up or talk to him or sit

with him, it is reinforcing the behavior.

Step parenting is so hard. I've never done it myself, but I bet there are

resources and info. Also, if you have a T of your own, maybe she (or he)

could help you find some good resources.

On Sun, Jan 2, 2011 at 6:32 AM, dianajaye2000 wrote:

>

>

> Mia,

> I hate to sound like the bad guy here, but are you sure you want to take

> all of this on? You've already been through it with your own family. Now

> with a step family? Where do you get a break in all of this? And it sound

> like you are doing so much of the work and not Fiance? When you marry

> someone, you marry their family - which means the ExWife-Monster is never

> going to go away. And it will likely worsen. I admire you if you are willing

> to take it on, but is this really best for you?

> Please don't take offense at what I am asking, and it is really a

> rhetorical question.

>

>

>

>

> >

> > it's 4:30am... step son (SS) won't sleep. He's 4. His mother is a nada,

> > most likely BPD. At her house, he gets to stay up till god knows when

> > because she's up all night drinking. then here, we have a bed time, etc.

> > He is up all night every saturday night screaming, yelling & throwing a

> > fit. The kid is always in a horrible mood when we have him. He's such an

> > ANGRY little guy! It BREAKS my heart but I am so fed up!

> >

> > He's been screaming & throwing a tantrum on and off since 12:40... 10

> > minutes after I layed down for bed. This is how it happens every weekend.

> > It's ALWAYS 5 - 10 mins after I lie down, no matter what time that is. I

> > DON'T get it! He has radar. This last time he started, I actually yelled

> > " God D*** it " really loud. I feel horrible. But I am about ready to pull

> > my hair out!

> >

> > I think fiance needs to take SS for a psych eval. Our T agrees because SS

> > is so so angry all the time!. But fiance NEEDS TO DO THE LEGWORK to make

> it

> > happen. I've checked out a couple of options that SS is sadly too old

> for.

> > Fiance needs to find someone privately and pronto. Other wise I feel like

> > I'm going to be the one to end up in the nut house!

> >

> > I'm sorry. I feel awful for the kids and their situation, but yes, I'm

> very

> > upset over this. We have to deal with no sleep every saturday night! I

> > don't think fiance has any idea how that effects me, especially with

> > fibromyalgia! When I don't get enough sleep I hurt so bad. So every

> Sunday

> > is a day full of awful pain for me.

> >

> > I don't know if SS is old enough or if he's developmentally delayed (my

> > suspicion) too much to handle the staying over night stuff. I have no

> idea

> > what to do about this. And I feel like a monster right now for screaming

> > G-D it earlier! That's so not like me, but I am at my wits end =( Not

> that

> > that's an excuse.

> >

> > Thanks for letting me vent. It's a tough situation and fiance's ex

> > definetly triggers me... ugh. Just don't know what to do.

> >

> > Mia

> >

> >

> >