Re: The Secret Art of Not Being Offended

[Guest guest]

--- In , " cherylyr " <cherylyr@...>

wrote:

>

> Awesome!

I think the illusion of material sense not divine law has bound us,

entangled our free limbs, crippled our capacities, enfeebled our

bodies and defaced the tablet of our being.

That was a real secret released for this valuable information.

>

> The Art of Not Being Offended

> By Dr. Jodi Prinzivalli

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> There is an ancient and well-kept secret to happiness which the

Great

> Ones have known for centuries. They rarely talk about it, but they

use

> it all the time, and it is fundamental to good mental health. This

> secret is called The Fine Art of Not Being Offended. In order to

truly

> be a master of this art, one must be able to see that every

statement,

> action and reaction of another human being is the sum result of

their

> total life experience to date.

>

> In other words, the majority of people in our world say and do what

they

> do from their own set of fears, conclusions, defenses and attempts

to

> survive. Most of it, even when aimed directly at us, has nothing to

do

> with us. Usually, it has more to do with all the other times, and in

> particular the first few times, that this person experienced a

similar

> situation, usually when they were young.

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> Yes, this is psychodynamic. But let's face it, we live in a world

where

> psychodynamics are what make the world go around. An individual who

> wishes to live successfully in the world as a spiritual person

really

> needs to understand that psychology is as spiritual as prayer. In

fact,

> the word psychology literally means the study of the soul.

>

> All of that said, almost nothing is personal. Even with our closest

> loved ones, our beloved partners, our children and our friends. We

are

> all swimming in the projections and filters of each other's life

> experiences and often we are just the stand-ins, the chess pieces of

> life to which our loved ones have their own built-in reactions.

This is

> not to dehumanize life or take away the intimacy from our

relationships,

> but mainly for us to know that almost every time we get offended,

we are

> actually just in a misunderstanding.

>

> A true embodiment of this idea actually allows for more intimacy and

> less suffering throughout all of our relationships. When we know

that we

> are just the one who happens to be standing in the right place at

the

> right psychodynamic time for someone to say or do what they are

> doing—we don't have to take life personally. If it weren't us, it

> would likely be someone else.

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> This frees us to be a little more detached from the reactions of

people

> around us. How often do we react to a statement of another by being

> offended rather than seeing that the other might actually be

hurting? In

> fact, every time we get offended, it is actually an opportunity to

> extend kindness to one who may be suffering—even if they themselves

> do not appear that way on the surface. All anger, all acting out,

all

> harshness, all criticism, is in truth a form of suffering. When we

> provide no Velcro for it to stick, something changes in the world.

We do

> not even have to say a thing. In fact, it is usually better not to

say a

> thing.

>

> People who are suffering on the inside, but not showing it on the

> outside, are usually not keen on someone pointing out to them that

they

> are suffering. We do not have to be our loved one's therapist. We

need

> only understand the situation and move on. In the least, we

ourselves

> experience less suffering and at best, we have a chance to make the

> world a better place.

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> This is also not to be confused with allowing ourselves to be hurt,

> neglected or taken advantage of. True compassion does not allow

harm to

> ourselves either. But when we know that nothing is personal, a

magical

> thing happens. Many of the seeming abusers of the world start to

leave

> our lives. Once we are conscious, so-called abuse can only happen

if we

> believe what the other is saying. When we know nothing is personal,

we

> also do not end up feeling abused. We can say, " Thank you for

sharing, "

> and move on. We are not hooked by what another does or says, since

we

> know it is not about us.

>

> When we know that our inherent worth is not determined by what

another

> says, does or believes, we can take the world a little less

seriously.

> And if necessary, we can just walk away without creating more

misery for

> ourselves or having to convince the other person that we are good

and

> worthy people.

>

> The great challenge of our world is to live a life of contentment,

> regardless of what other people do, say, think or believe. The fine

art

> of not being offended is one of the many skills for being a

practical

> mystic. Though it may take a lifetime of practice, it is truly one

of

> the best kept secrets for living a happy life.

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> LoVe*addict

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