Re: I'm just not getting IE

[Guest guest]

Tilley-

I'm so sorry you're frustrated! I have been reading Geneen Roth's book Women,

Food and God and this is a passage I found to be really helpful and

enlightening:

Truth, not force, does the work of ending compulsive eating.

Awareness, not deprivation, informs what we eat.

Presence, not shame, changes how you see yourself and what you rely on.

When you stop struggling, stop suffering, stop pushing and pulling yourself

around food and your body, when you stop manipulating and controlling, when you

actually relax and listen to the truth of what is there {your feelings and

emotions} something bigger than your fear will catch you. With repeated

experiences of opening and ease, you learn to trust something infinitely more

powerful than a set of rules that someone else made up: your own being. "

Trust yourself, really FEEL what you're feeling and let go of the concentration

on cookies/food. Try to eat when hungry and, otherwise, look at how you're

feeling. I will commit to really working on this as well!

Have faith in YOU, Eden

>

> I have been working on this for nearly six months, and I still eat frequently

when I am not hungry, I still eat beyond full, and I'm getting heavier and

heavier. I haven't seemed to have gotten the idea that " just because you can,

you don't have to " (thank you, whoever said that) at all.

>

> My " cookie experiment " is a disaster, in that I'm eating them all day long,

even though I'm not hungry (though usually I am hungry when I eat the first one)

and I don't really want them.

>

> I need help!

>

> I am not about to start dieting, but I have to do SOMETHING different.

>

> Yesterday, I found a bag of vitamin C drops that my student teacher from last

semester had left in a drawer, and I had one, and it was so good, and I I

realized that I would have rather had one of those than any of the cookies I had

been eating. That sometimes I want just a little bit of sweetness.

>

> And the past two days I haven't finished my breakfast, because I was

satisfied.

>

> But then later in the day.....when I'm stressed and work, and stressed about

my son, and the impossibility of all of everything, forget it.

>

> And when I made dinner last night, and was snacking right and left, and then

sat down and ate a full dinner with my other son, who's leaving again on

Saturday, and my partner, I realized that food is what I " do. " I come home

from work, and I cook dinner. Then I eat dinner. I kindof wandered around the

house awhile before I started dinner, and there wasn't really anything else I

felt like doing. Kindof sad.

>

> But SIGH. I think I will feel better when I get things resolved with my son

(the one who is not leaving on Saturday). I also realized that I feel really

GOOD when I am gardening--and by that, I mean happy in my body, and feeling like

a strong and beautiful person.

>

> So there's my wholly contradictory thoughts for the day.

>

> Tilley

>

[Guest guest]

Tilley-

I'm so sorry you're frustrated! I have been reading Geneen Roth's book Women,

Food and God and this is a passage I found to be really helpful and

enlightening:

Truth, not force, does the work of ending compulsive eating.

Awareness, not deprivation, informs what we eat.

Presence, not shame, changes how you see yourself and what you rely on.

When you stop struggling, stop suffering, stop pushing and pulling yourself

around food and your body, when you stop manipulating and controlling, when you

actually relax and listen to the truth of what is there {your feelings and

emotions} something bigger than your fear will catch you. With repeated

experiences of opening and ease, you learn to trust something infinitely more

powerful than a set of rules that someone else made up: your own being. "

Trust yourself, really FEEL what you're feeling and let go of the concentration

on cookies/food. Try to eat when hungry and, otherwise, look at how you're

feeling. I will commit to really working on this as well!

Have faith in YOU, Eden

>

> I have been working on this for nearly six months, and I still eat frequently

when I am not hungry, I still eat beyond full, and I'm getting heavier and

heavier. I haven't seemed to have gotten the idea that " just because you can,

you don't have to " (thank you, whoever said that) at all.

>

> My " cookie experiment " is a disaster, in that I'm eating them all day long,

even though I'm not hungry (though usually I am hungry when I eat the first one)

and I don't really want them.

>

> I need help!

>

> I am not about to start dieting, but I have to do SOMETHING different.

>

> Yesterday, I found a bag of vitamin C drops that my student teacher from last

semester had left in a drawer, and I had one, and it was so good, and I I

realized that I would have rather had one of those than any of the cookies I had

been eating. That sometimes I want just a little bit of sweetness.

>

> And the past two days I haven't finished my breakfast, because I was

satisfied.

>

> But then later in the day.....when I'm stressed and work, and stressed about

my son, and the impossibility of all of everything, forget it.

>

> And when I made dinner last night, and was snacking right and left, and then

sat down and ate a full dinner with my other son, who's leaving again on

Saturday, and my partner, I realized that food is what I " do. " I come home

from work, and I cook dinner. Then I eat dinner. I kindof wandered around the

house awhile before I started dinner, and there wasn't really anything else I

felt like doing. Kindof sad.

>

> But SIGH. I think I will feel better when I get things resolved with my son

(the one who is not leaving on Saturday). I also realized that I feel really

GOOD when I am gardening--and by that, I mean happy in my body, and feeling like

a strong and beautiful person.

>

> So there's my wholly contradictory thoughts for the day.

>

> Tilley

>

[Guest guest]

Tilley-

I'm so sorry you're frustrated! I have been reading Geneen Roth's book Women,

Food and God and this is a passage I found to be really helpful and

enlightening:

Truth, not force, does the work of ending compulsive eating.

Awareness, not deprivation, informs what we eat.

Presence, not shame, changes how you see yourself and what you rely on.

When you stop struggling, stop suffering, stop pushing and pulling yourself

around food and your body, when you stop manipulating and controlling, when you

actually relax and listen to the truth of what is there {your feelings and

emotions} something bigger than your fear will catch you. With repeated

experiences of opening and ease, you learn to trust something infinitely more

powerful than a set of rules that someone else made up: your own being. "

Trust yourself, really FEEL what you're feeling and let go of the concentration

on cookies/food. Try to eat when hungry and, otherwise, look at how you're

feeling. I will commit to really working on this as well!

Have faith in YOU, Eden

>

> I have been working on this for nearly six months, and I still eat frequently

when I am not hungry, I still eat beyond full, and I'm getting heavier and

heavier. I haven't seemed to have gotten the idea that " just because you can,

you don't have to " (thank you, whoever said that) at all.

>

> My " cookie experiment " is a disaster, in that I'm eating them all day long,

even though I'm not hungry (though usually I am hungry when I eat the first one)

and I don't really want them.

>

> I need help!

>

> I am not about to start dieting, but I have to do SOMETHING different.

>

> Yesterday, I found a bag of vitamin C drops that my student teacher from last

semester had left in a drawer, and I had one, and it was so good, and I I

realized that I would have rather had one of those than any of the cookies I had

been eating. That sometimes I want just a little bit of sweetness.

>

> And the past two days I haven't finished my breakfast, because I was

satisfied.

>

> But then later in the day.....when I'm stressed and work, and stressed about

my son, and the impossibility of all of everything, forget it.

>

> And when I made dinner last night, and was snacking right and left, and then

sat down and ate a full dinner with my other son, who's leaving again on

Saturday, and my partner, I realized that food is what I " do. " I come home

from work, and I cook dinner. Then I eat dinner. I kindof wandered around the

house awhile before I started dinner, and there wasn't really anything else I

felt like doing. Kindof sad.

>

> But SIGH. I think I will feel better when I get things resolved with my son

(the one who is not leaving on Saturday). I also realized that I feel really

GOOD when I am gardening--and by that, I mean happy in my body, and feeling like

a strong and beautiful person.

>

> So there's my wholly contradictory thoughts for the day.

>

> Tilley

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Tilley,

It sounds like you're going through a difficult time with your son right now.

Those sorts of situations are tough for all of us, it is understandable that you

would find yourself struggling with food during this time.

My thought is that perhaps right now is not the best time to tackle the cookies

that are giving you trouble. What if you removed the cookies from the house for

now, then tried the cookie experiment again once you feel like your stress

levels have returned to a more manageable level? Eventually you would like to

take away the cookies' power, but there is nothing that says you must do it

right now.

You discovered with the vitamin C drops that just a little bit of sweetness is

really what you're craving...maybe you could pick up a bag of fruit-flavored

hard candy like Lifesavers or Jolly Ranchers that would do the trick? I really

like Tootsie Pops. Maybe sucking on a piece or two of hard candy while you

prepare dinner would keep your mouth busy, but you would still be hungry for

dinner? Other things that work for me are chewing a piece of gum or drinking a

diet soda (I have drunk diet soda for so many years that I actually prefer it

over regular, lol) or cup of tea.

It sounds like gardening is something you truly love...is there a way that you

could find time to do that daily? I can relate to feeling like food is what you

" do " - in my most recent diet foray before IE I spent sooo much time researching

healthy recipes, preparing healthy foods (most of which my family wouldn't

touch, so only I ate) for the week, thinking about what combos would give me the

right macronutrient ratios at each meal and be tasty at the same time, etc. At

the time, it all seemed worth it as I was making progress towards and eventually

reached my goal - but it truly was so much work, and consumed a good deal of my

free time. Could I have been a more fulfilled, well-rounded, happier person if

I had focused more of this time on other activities in life? I suspect the

answer is yes, and that is a lot of what brought me to IE. Eating healthfully

should not require so much brain power, time or energy. At any rate, all this

was to say that I'm trying to focus more time on hobbies that I enjoyed before

fitness and nutrition became my hobby...such as reading for pleasure, making

jewelry and other crafts. I often think back to who I was at 11-13 years old,

before I got swept up into dieting, and I think of that girl as my true

self...the one who did things because they made her happy, not because they

would make her into anyone's " ideal. "

I hope you might find some of my ideas helpful!

>

> I have been working on this for nearly six months, and I still eat frequently

when I am not hungry, I still eat beyond full, and I'm getting heavier and

heavier. I haven't seemed to have gotten the idea that " just because you can,

you don't have to " (thank you, whoever said that) at all.

>

> My " cookie experiment " is a disaster, in that I'm eating them all day long,

even though I'm not hungry (though usually I am hungry when I eat the first one)

and I don't really want them.

>

> I need help!

>

> I am not about to start dieting, but I have to do SOMETHING different.

>

> Yesterday, I found a bag of vitamin C drops that my student teacher from last

semester had left in a drawer, and I had one, and it was so good, and I I

realized that I would have rather had one of those than any of the cookies I had

been eating. That sometimes I want just a little bit of sweetness.

>

> And the past two days I haven't finished my breakfast, because I was

satisfied.

>

> But then later in the day.....when I'm stressed and work, and stressed about

my son, and the impossibility of all of everything, forget it.

>

> And when I made dinner last night, and was snacking right and left, and then

sat down and ate a full dinner with my other son, who's leaving again on

Saturday, and my partner, I realized that food is what I " do. " I come home

from work, and I cook dinner. Then I eat dinner. I kindof wandered around the

house awhile before I started dinner, and there wasn't really anything else I

felt like doing. Kindof sad.

>

> But SIGH. I think I will feel better when I get things resolved with my son

(the one who is not leaving on Saturday). I also realized that I feel really

GOOD when I am gardening--and by that, I mean happy in my body, and feeling like

a strong and beautiful person.

>

> So there's my wholly contradictory thoughts for the day.

>

> Tilley

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Tilley,

It sounds like you're going through a difficult time with your son right now.

Those sorts of situations are tough for all of us, it is understandable that you

would find yourself struggling with food during this time.

My thought is that perhaps right now is not the best time to tackle the cookies

that are giving you trouble. What if you removed the cookies from the house for

now, then tried the cookie experiment again once you feel like your stress

levels have returned to a more manageable level? Eventually you would like to

take away the cookies' power, but there is nothing that says you must do it

right now.

You discovered with the vitamin C drops that just a little bit of sweetness is

really what you're craving...maybe you could pick up a bag of fruit-flavored

hard candy like Lifesavers or Jolly Ranchers that would do the trick? I really

like Tootsie Pops. Maybe sucking on a piece or two of hard candy while you

prepare dinner would keep your mouth busy, but you would still be hungry for

dinner? Other things that work for me are chewing a piece of gum or drinking a

diet soda (I have drunk diet soda for so many years that I actually prefer it

over regular, lol) or cup of tea.

It sounds like gardening is something you truly love...is there a way that you

could find time to do that daily? I can relate to feeling like food is what you

" do " - in my most recent diet foray before IE I spent sooo much time researching

healthy recipes, preparing healthy foods (most of which my family wouldn't

touch, so only I ate) for the week, thinking about what combos would give me the

right macronutrient ratios at each meal and be tasty at the same time, etc. At

the time, it all seemed worth it as I was making progress towards and eventually

reached my goal - but it truly was so much work, and consumed a good deal of my

free time. Could I have been a more fulfilled, well-rounded, happier person if

I had focused more of this time on other activities in life? I suspect the

answer is yes, and that is a lot of what brought me to IE. Eating healthfully

should not require so much brain power, time or energy. At any rate, all this

was to say that I'm trying to focus more time on hobbies that I enjoyed before

fitness and nutrition became my hobby...such as reading for pleasure, making

jewelry and other crafts. I often think back to who I was at 11-13 years old,

before I got swept up into dieting, and I think of that girl as my true

self...the one who did things because they made her happy, not because they

would make her into anyone's " ideal. "

I hope you might find some of my ideas helpful!

>

> I have been working on this for nearly six months, and I still eat frequently

when I am not hungry, I still eat beyond full, and I'm getting heavier and

heavier. I haven't seemed to have gotten the idea that " just because you can,

you don't have to " (thank you, whoever said that) at all.

>

> My " cookie experiment " is a disaster, in that I'm eating them all day long,

even though I'm not hungry (though usually I am hungry when I eat the first one)

and I don't really want them.

>

> I need help!

>

> I am not about to start dieting, but I have to do SOMETHING different.

>

> Yesterday, I found a bag of vitamin C drops that my student teacher from last

semester had left in a drawer, and I had one, and it was so good, and I I

realized that I would have rather had one of those than any of the cookies I had

been eating. That sometimes I want just a little bit of sweetness.

>

> And the past two days I haven't finished my breakfast, because I was

satisfied.

>

> But then later in the day.....when I'm stressed and work, and stressed about

my son, and the impossibility of all of everything, forget it.

>

> And when I made dinner last night, and was snacking right and left, and then

sat down and ate a full dinner with my other son, who's leaving again on

Saturday, and my partner, I realized that food is what I " do. " I come home

from work, and I cook dinner. Then I eat dinner. I kindof wandered around the

house awhile before I started dinner, and there wasn't really anything else I

felt like doing. Kindof sad.

>

> But SIGH. I think I will feel better when I get things resolved with my son

(the one who is not leaving on Saturday). I also realized that I feel really

GOOD when I am gardening--and by that, I mean happy in my body, and feeling like

a strong and beautiful person.

>

> So there's my wholly contradictory thoughts for the day.

>

> Tilley

>

[Guest guest]

Tilly,

I don't think you're not getting IE, I think you're not fully choosing IE - this

is just a hunch and I welcome being corrected if this doesn't feel right to you.

Here's what I mean - IE is about listening to and honoring your body's signals -

stopping when you're full, savoring what you're eating when you're hungry,

noticing what your body wants (not necessarily your mind), how your body

responds to the foods you give it and which foods really serve and nourish your

body.

I think IE can be interpreted as " eat whatever you want as much as you want " as

just go crazy with food. But my understanding of eat whatever you want and as

much as you want " is eat what your body wants and as much as your body wants.

So if you're still eating when you're not hungry, eating when you're beyond full

and getting heavier and heavier, then it seems time to look at how you can shift

the patterns of eating when you're not hungry and when you're beyond full to how

you can give yourself pleasure without food and how you can stop when you've had

enough.

Hope this brings a little clarity.

The Pleasure Nutritionist

>

> I have been working on this for nearly six months, and I still eat frequently

when I am not hungry, I still eat beyond full, and I'm getting heavier and

heavier. I haven't seemed to have gotten the idea that " just because you can,

you don't have to " (thank you, whoever said that) at all.

>

> My " cookie experiment " is a disaster, in that I'm eating them all day long,

even though I'm not hungry (though usually I am hungry when I eat the first one)

and I don't really want them.

>

> I need help!

>

> I am not about to start dieting, but I have to do SOMETHING different.

>

> Yesterday, I found a bag of vitamin C drops that my student teacher from last

semester had left in a drawer, and I had one, and it was so good, and I I

realized that I would have rather had one of those than any of the cookies I had

been eating. That sometimes I want just a little bit of sweetness.

>

> And the past two days I haven't finished my breakfast, because I was

satisfied.

>

> But then later in the day.....when I'm stressed and work, and stressed about

my son, and the impossibility of all of everything, forget it.

>

> And when I made dinner last night, and was snacking right and left, and then

sat down and ate a full dinner with my other son, who's leaving again on

Saturday, and my partner, I realized that food is what I " do. " I come home

from work, and I cook dinner. Then I eat dinner. I kindof wandered around the

house awhile before I started dinner, and there wasn't really anything else I

felt like doing. Kindof sad.

>

> But SIGH. I think I will feel better when I get things resolved with my son

(the one who is not leaving on Saturday). I also realized that I feel really

GOOD when I am gardening--and by that, I mean happy in my body, and feeling like

a strong and beautiful person.

>

> So there's my wholly contradictory thoughts for the day.

>

> Tilley

>

[Guest guest]

Tilly,

I don't think you're not getting IE, I think you're not fully choosing IE - this

is just a hunch and I welcome being corrected if this doesn't feel right to you.

Here's what I mean - IE is about listening to and honoring your body's signals -

stopping when you're full, savoring what you're eating when you're hungry,

noticing what your body wants (not necessarily your mind), how your body

responds to the foods you give it and which foods really serve and nourish your

body.

I think IE can be interpreted as " eat whatever you want as much as you want " as

just go crazy with food. But my understanding of eat whatever you want and as

much as you want " is eat what your body wants and as much as your body wants.

So if you're still eating when you're not hungry, eating when you're beyond full

and getting heavier and heavier, then it seems time to look at how you can shift

the patterns of eating when you're not hungry and when you're beyond full to how

you can give yourself pleasure without food and how you can stop when you've had

enough.

Hope this brings a little clarity.

The Pleasure Nutritionist

>

> I have been working on this for nearly six months, and I still eat frequently

when I am not hungry, I still eat beyond full, and I'm getting heavier and

heavier. I haven't seemed to have gotten the idea that " just because you can,

you don't have to " (thank you, whoever said that) at all.

>

> My " cookie experiment " is a disaster, in that I'm eating them all day long,

even though I'm not hungry (though usually I am hungry when I eat the first one)

and I don't really want them.

>

> I need help!

>

> I am not about to start dieting, but I have to do SOMETHING different.

>

> Yesterday, I found a bag of vitamin C drops that my student teacher from last

semester had left in a drawer, and I had one, and it was so good, and I I

realized that I would have rather had one of those than any of the cookies I had

been eating. That sometimes I want just a little bit of sweetness.

>

> And the past two days I haven't finished my breakfast, because I was

satisfied.

>

> But then later in the day.....when I'm stressed and work, and stressed about

my son, and the impossibility of all of everything, forget it.

>

> And when I made dinner last night, and was snacking right and left, and then

sat down and ate a full dinner with my other son, who's leaving again on

Saturday, and my partner, I realized that food is what I " do. " I come home

from work, and I cook dinner. Then I eat dinner. I kindof wandered around the

house awhile before I started dinner, and there wasn't really anything else I

felt like doing. Kindof sad.

>

> But SIGH. I think I will feel better when I get things resolved with my son

(the one who is not leaving on Saturday). I also realized that I feel really

GOOD when I am gardening--and by that, I mean happy in my body, and feeling like

a strong and beautiful person.

>

> So there's my wholly contradictory thoughts for the day.

>

> Tilley

>

[Guest guest]

Tilly,

I don't think you're not getting IE, I think you're not fully choosing IE - this

is just a hunch and I welcome being corrected if this doesn't feel right to you.

Here's what I mean - IE is about listening to and honoring your body's signals -

stopping when you're full, savoring what you're eating when you're hungry,

noticing what your body wants (not necessarily your mind), how your body

responds to the foods you give it and which foods really serve and nourish your

body.

I think IE can be interpreted as " eat whatever you want as much as you want " as

just go crazy with food. But my understanding of eat whatever you want and as

much as you want " is eat what your body wants and as much as your body wants.

So if you're still eating when you're not hungry, eating when you're beyond full

and getting heavier and heavier, then it seems time to look at how you can shift

the patterns of eating when you're not hungry and when you're beyond full to how

you can give yourself pleasure without food and how you can stop when you've had

enough.

Hope this brings a little clarity.

The Pleasure Nutritionist

>

> I have been working on this for nearly six months, and I still eat frequently

when I am not hungry, I still eat beyond full, and I'm getting heavier and

heavier. I haven't seemed to have gotten the idea that " just because you can,

you don't have to " (thank you, whoever said that) at all.

>

> My " cookie experiment " is a disaster, in that I'm eating them all day long,

even though I'm not hungry (though usually I am hungry when I eat the first one)

and I don't really want them.

>

> I need help!

>

> I am not about to start dieting, but I have to do SOMETHING different.

>

> Yesterday, I found a bag of vitamin C drops that my student teacher from last

semester had left in a drawer, and I had one, and it was so good, and I I

realized that I would have rather had one of those than any of the cookies I had

been eating. That sometimes I want just a little bit of sweetness.

>

> And the past two days I haven't finished my breakfast, because I was

satisfied.

>

> But then later in the day.....when I'm stressed and work, and stressed about

my son, and the impossibility of all of everything, forget it.

>

> And when I made dinner last night, and was snacking right and left, and then

sat down and ate a full dinner with my other son, who's leaving again on

Saturday, and my partner, I realized that food is what I " do. " I come home

from work, and I cook dinner. Then I eat dinner. I kindof wandered around the

house awhile before I started dinner, and there wasn't really anything else I

felt like doing. Kindof sad.

>

> But SIGH. I think I will feel better when I get things resolved with my son

(the one who is not leaving on Saturday). I also realized that I feel really

GOOD when I am gardening--and by that, I mean happy in my body, and feeling like

a strong and beautiful person.

>

> So there's my wholly contradictory thoughts for the day.

>

> Tilley

>

[Guest guest]

Tilley, I may be reading some of my own issues into your post, but I wanted to

share my thoughts about these in case they 'click' with you too.

I too find that there are times when I continue to eat something (chocolate of

late) even though I KNOW I am not truly hungry (for it), I would enjoy it more

if eaten when I was hungry, and SOMEthing is causing me to eat it anyway - even

to beyond fullness.

Perhaps your cookie experiment isn't a big a disaster as you feel it is? What it

may be showing you is that you aren't ready to make peace with food? There are

plenty of other aspects to IE that you may find easier to embrace and 'get' IE

going for you. Just because the Principles are numbered doesn't mean one has to

do them in 'order'.

Beyond the focus on cookies, another thing that clicked within me as I read your

post was how your days seem to have a pattern - some breakfast, a little eating

during day and then a meal which you enjoy making. Bingo! Same pattern for me!

What I've been finding for myself is that I tend to push thoughts of eating (aka

hunger?) out of my awareness as I go about my day. And because I so love to eat

a MEAL, of my making, with dear hubby at the 'end' of my (working) day, that

signals the 'end' of my 'work' - aka IE efforts? Stacked onto that is the fact

that I've probably not eaten as much as my body has needed which triggers

overeating, additionally supported by my truly enjoying what I've cooked for

dinner (official 'meal'). Plus the more I feel I've overate, the more likely I

am to over 'snack' (in unwanted food mode) later that evening.

Next day - repeat.

The fact that I KNOW something doesn't seem to = that I will DO something (with

or about it). One of the things I have learned and utilize more now is gentle,

slow acceptance and encouragement works better for me than any amount of pushing

to 'get' X ever has or will. I've also found that I have a hair trigger rebel

that is my own knight in shining armor when it comes to allowing 'new' - as in

un tried-and-true behaviors - to be incorporated into my life. The thick and

heavy armor of that rebel protector has proven to be a tough shell to break thru

too! Even when I KNOW that I would be better served by a change.

Hope this hasn't confused and rambled too. But I feel you HAVE made progress and

the present 'hump' in your IE trail isn't anything new to most journeys and that

you are capable of sorting out the stumbling points and discovering your own

way(s) over, around or even thru what faces you at this moment.

POST ON! ehugs, Katcha

>

> I have been working on this for nearly six months, and I still eat frequently

when I am not hungry, I still eat beyond full, and I'm getting heavier and

heavier. I haven't seemed to have gotten the idea that " just because you can,

you don't have to " (thank you, whoever said that) at all.

>

> My " cookie experiment " is a disaster, in that I'm eating them all day long,

even though I'm not hungry (though usually I am hungry when I eat the first one)

and I don't really want them.

>

> I need help!

>

> I am not about to start dieting, but I have to do SOMETHING different.

>

> Yesterday, I found a bag of vitamin C drops that my student teacher from last

semester had left in a drawer, and I had one, and it was so good, and I I

realized that I would have rather had one of those than any of the cookies I had

been eating. That sometimes I want just a little bit of sweetness.

>

> And the past two days I haven't finished my breakfast, because I was

satisfied.

>

> But then later in the day.....when I'm stressed and work, and stressed about

my son, and the impossibility of all of everything, forget it.

>

> And when I made dinner last night, and was snacking right and left, and then

sat down and ate a full dinner with my other son, who's leaving again on

Saturday, and my partner, I realized that food is what I " do. " I come home

from work, and I cook dinner. Then I eat dinner. I kindof wandered around the

house awhile before I started dinner, and there wasn't really anything else I

felt like doing. Kindof sad.

>

> But SIGH. I think I will feel better when I get things resolved with my son

(the one who is not leaving on Saturday). I also realized that I feel really

GOOD when I am gardening--and by that, I mean happy in my body, and feeling like

a strong and beautiful person.

>

> So there's my wholly contradictory thoughts for the day.

>

> Tilley

>

[Guest guest]

Tilley, I may be reading some of my own issues into your post, but I wanted to

share my thoughts about these in case they 'click' with you too.

I too find that there are times when I continue to eat something (chocolate of

late) even though I KNOW I am not truly hungry (for it), I would enjoy it more

if eaten when I was hungry, and SOMEthing is causing me to eat it anyway - even

to beyond fullness.

Perhaps your cookie experiment isn't a big a disaster as you feel it is? What it

may be showing you is that you aren't ready to make peace with food? There are

plenty of other aspects to IE that you may find easier to embrace and 'get' IE

going for you. Just because the Principles are numbered doesn't mean one has to

do them in 'order'.

Beyond the focus on cookies, another thing that clicked within me as I read your

post was how your days seem to have a pattern - some breakfast, a little eating

during day and then a meal which you enjoy making. Bingo! Same pattern for me!

What I've been finding for myself is that I tend to push thoughts of eating (aka

hunger?) out of my awareness as I go about my day. And because I so love to eat

a MEAL, of my making, with dear hubby at the 'end' of my (working) day, that

signals the 'end' of my 'work' - aka IE efforts? Stacked onto that is the fact

that I've probably not eaten as much as my body has needed which triggers

overeating, additionally supported by my truly enjoying what I've cooked for

dinner (official 'meal'). Plus the more I feel I've overate, the more likely I

am to over 'snack' (in unwanted food mode) later that evening.

Next day - repeat.

The fact that I KNOW something doesn't seem to = that I will DO something (with

or about it). One of the things I have learned and utilize more now is gentle,

slow acceptance and encouragement works better for me than any amount of pushing

to 'get' X ever has or will. I've also found that I have a hair trigger rebel

that is my own knight in shining armor when it comes to allowing 'new' - as in

un tried-and-true behaviors - to be incorporated into my life. The thick and

heavy armor of that rebel protector has proven to be a tough shell to break thru

too! Even when I KNOW that I would be better served by a change.

Hope this hasn't confused and rambled too. But I feel you HAVE made progress and

the present 'hump' in your IE trail isn't anything new to most journeys and that

you are capable of sorting out the stumbling points and discovering your own

way(s) over, around or even thru what faces you at this moment.

POST ON! ehugs, Katcha

>

> I have been working on this for nearly six months, and I still eat frequently

when I am not hungry, I still eat beyond full, and I'm getting heavier and

heavier. I haven't seemed to have gotten the idea that " just because you can,

you don't have to " (thank you, whoever said that) at all.

>

> My " cookie experiment " is a disaster, in that I'm eating them all day long,

even though I'm not hungry (though usually I am hungry when I eat the first one)

and I don't really want them.

>

> I need help!

>

> I am not about to start dieting, but I have to do SOMETHING different.

>

> Yesterday, I found a bag of vitamin C drops that my student teacher from last

semester had left in a drawer, and I had one, and it was so good, and I I

realized that I would have rather had one of those than any of the cookies I had

been eating. That sometimes I want just a little bit of sweetness.

>

> And the past two days I haven't finished my breakfast, because I was

satisfied.

>

> But then later in the day.....when I'm stressed and work, and stressed about

my son, and the impossibility of all of everything, forget it.

>

> And when I made dinner last night, and was snacking right and left, and then

sat down and ate a full dinner with my other son, who's leaving again on

Saturday, and my partner, I realized that food is what I " do. " I come home

from work, and I cook dinner. Then I eat dinner. I kindof wandered around the

house awhile before I started dinner, and there wasn't really anything else I

felt like doing. Kindof sad.

>

> But SIGH. I think I will feel better when I get things resolved with my son

(the one who is not leaving on Saturday). I also realized that I feel really

GOOD when I am gardening--and by that, I mean happy in my body, and feeling like

a strong and beautiful person.

>

> So there's my wholly contradictory thoughts for the day.

>

> Tilley

>

[Guest guest]

Tilley, I may be reading some of my own issues into your post, but I wanted to

share my thoughts about these in case they 'click' with you too.

I too find that there are times when I continue to eat something (chocolate of

late) even though I KNOW I am not truly hungry (for it), I would enjoy it more

if eaten when I was hungry, and SOMEthing is causing me to eat it anyway - even

to beyond fullness.

Perhaps your cookie experiment isn't a big a disaster as you feel it is? What it

may be showing you is that you aren't ready to make peace with food? There are

plenty of other aspects to IE that you may find easier to embrace and 'get' IE

going for you. Just because the Principles are numbered doesn't mean one has to

do them in 'order'.

Beyond the focus on cookies, another thing that clicked within me as I read your

post was how your days seem to have a pattern - some breakfast, a little eating

during day and then a meal which you enjoy making. Bingo! Same pattern for me!

What I've been finding for myself is that I tend to push thoughts of eating (aka

hunger?) out of my awareness as I go about my day. And because I so love to eat

a MEAL, of my making, with dear hubby at the 'end' of my (working) day, that

signals the 'end' of my 'work' - aka IE efforts? Stacked onto that is the fact

that I've probably not eaten as much as my body has needed which triggers

overeating, additionally supported by my truly enjoying what I've cooked for

dinner (official 'meal'). Plus the more I feel I've overate, the more likely I

am to over 'snack' (in unwanted food mode) later that evening.

Next day - repeat.

The fact that I KNOW something doesn't seem to = that I will DO something (with

or about it). One of the things I have learned and utilize more now is gentle,

slow acceptance and encouragement works better for me than any amount of pushing

to 'get' X ever has or will. I've also found that I have a hair trigger rebel

that is my own knight in shining armor when it comes to allowing 'new' - as in

un tried-and-true behaviors - to be incorporated into my life. The thick and

heavy armor of that rebel protector has proven to be a tough shell to break thru

too! Even when I KNOW that I would be better served by a change.

Hope this hasn't confused and rambled too. But I feel you HAVE made progress and

the present 'hump' in your IE trail isn't anything new to most journeys and that

you are capable of sorting out the stumbling points and discovering your own

way(s) over, around or even thru what faces you at this moment.

POST ON! ehugs, Katcha

>

> I have been working on this for nearly six months, and I still eat frequently

when I am not hungry, I still eat beyond full, and I'm getting heavier and

heavier. I haven't seemed to have gotten the idea that " just because you can,

you don't have to " (thank you, whoever said that) at all.

>

> My " cookie experiment " is a disaster, in that I'm eating them all day long,

even though I'm not hungry (though usually I am hungry when I eat the first one)

and I don't really want them.

>

> I need help!

>

> I am not about to start dieting, but I have to do SOMETHING different.

>

> Yesterday, I found a bag of vitamin C drops that my student teacher from last

semester had left in a drawer, and I had one, and it was so good, and I I

realized that I would have rather had one of those than any of the cookies I had

been eating. That sometimes I want just a little bit of sweetness.

>

> And the past two days I haven't finished my breakfast, because I was

satisfied.

>

> But then later in the day.....when I'm stressed and work, and stressed about

my son, and the impossibility of all of everything, forget it.

>

> And when I made dinner last night, and was snacking right and left, and then

sat down and ate a full dinner with my other son, who's leaving again on

Saturday, and my partner, I realized that food is what I " do. " I come home

from work, and I cook dinner. Then I eat dinner. I kindof wandered around the

house awhile before I started dinner, and there wasn't really anything else I

felt like doing. Kindof sad.

>

> But SIGH. I think I will feel better when I get things resolved with my son

(the one who is not leaving on Saturday). I also realized that I feel really

GOOD when I am gardening--and by that, I mean happy in my body, and feeling like

a strong and beautiful person.

>

> So there's my wholly contradictory thoughts for the day.

>

> Tilley

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Tilley,

I can completely understand where you're coming from.

I think that you probably do "get," or understand IE; but (like me) you find it extremely difficult to actually do.

That's okay! It may take us longer than 6 months to be able to eat intuitively...

*We must keep trying because (I strongly believe that) it is the only way possible to make peace with food.*

IE is our key to freedom and we'll eventually get there. I just know it!

HUGS,

>> I have been working on this for nearly six months, and I still eat frequently when I am not hungry, I still eat beyond full, and I'm getting heavier and heavier. I haven't seemed to have gotten the idea that "just because you can, you don't have to" (thank you, whoever said that) at all.> > My "cookie experiment" is a disaster, in that I'm eating them all day long, even though I'm not hungry (though usually I am hungry when I eat the first one) and I don't really want them.> > I need help! > > I am not about to start dieting, but I have to do SOMETHING different.> > Yesterday, I found a bag of vitamin C drops that my student teacher from last semester had left in a drawer, and I had one, and it was so good, and I I realized that I would have rather had one of those than any of the cookies I had been eating. That sometimes I want just a little bit of sweetness.> > And the past two days I haven't finished my breakfast, because I was satisfied.> > But then later in the day.....when I'm stressed and work, and stressed about my son, and the impossibility of all of everything, forget it.> > And when I made dinner last night, and was snacking right and left, and then sat down and ate a full dinner with my other son, who's leaving again on Saturday, and my partner, I realized that food is what I "do." I come home from work, and I cook dinner. Then I eat dinner. I kindof wandered around the house awhile before I started dinner, and there wasn't really anything else I felt like doing. Kindof sad.> > But SIGH. I think I will feel better when I get things resolved with my son (the one who is not leaving on Saturday). I also realized that I feel really GOOD when I am gardening--and by that, I mean happy in my body, and feeling like a strong and beautiful person.> > So there's my wholly contradictory thoughts for the day.> > Tilley>

[Guest guest]

Hi Tilley,

I can completely understand where you're coming from.

I think that you probably do "get," or understand IE; but (like me) you find it extremely difficult to actually do.

That's okay! It may take us longer than 6 months to be able to eat intuitively...

*We must keep trying because (I strongly believe that) it is the only way possible to make peace with food.*

IE is our key to freedom and we'll eventually get there. I just know it!

HUGS,

>> I have been working on this for nearly six months, and I still eat frequently when I am not hungry, I still eat beyond full, and I'm getting heavier and heavier. I haven't seemed to have gotten the idea that "just because you can, you don't have to" (thank you, whoever said that) at all.> > My "cookie experiment" is a disaster, in that I'm eating them all day long, even though I'm not hungry (though usually I am hungry when I eat the first one) and I don't really want them.> > I need help! > > I am not about to start dieting, but I have to do SOMETHING different.> > Yesterday, I found a bag of vitamin C drops that my student teacher from last semester had left in a drawer, and I had one, and it was so good, and I I realized that I would have rather had one of those than any of the cookies I had been eating. That sometimes I want just a little bit of sweetness.> > And the past two days I haven't finished my breakfast, because I was satisfied.> > But then later in the day.....when I'm stressed and work, and stressed about my son, and the impossibility of all of everything, forget it.> > And when I made dinner last night, and was snacking right and left, and then sat down and ate a full dinner with my other son, who's leaving again on Saturday, and my partner, I realized that food is what I "do." I come home from work, and I cook dinner. Then I eat dinner. I kindof wandered around the house awhile before I started dinner, and there wasn't really anything else I felt like doing. Kindof sad.> > But SIGH. I think I will feel better when I get things resolved with my son (the one who is not leaving on Saturday). I also realized that I feel really GOOD when I am gardening--and by that, I mean happy in my body, and feeling like a strong and beautiful person.> > So there's my wholly contradictory thoughts for the day.> > Tilley>

[Guest guest]

Hi Tilley,

I can completely understand where you're coming from.

I think that you probably do "get," or understand IE; but (like me) you find it extremely difficult to actually do.

That's okay! It may take us longer than 6 months to be able to eat intuitively...

*We must keep trying because (I strongly believe that) it is the only way possible to make peace with food.*

IE is our key to freedom and we'll eventually get there. I just know it!

HUGS,

>> I have been working on this for nearly six months, and I still eat frequently when I am not hungry, I still eat beyond full, and I'm getting heavier and heavier. I haven't seemed to have gotten the idea that "just because you can, you don't have to" (thank you, whoever said that) at all.> > My "cookie experiment" is a disaster, in that I'm eating them all day long, even though I'm not hungry (though usually I am hungry when I eat the first one) and I don't really want them.> > I need help! > > I am not about to start dieting, but I have to do SOMETHING different.> > Yesterday, I found a bag of vitamin C drops that my student teacher from last semester had left in a drawer, and I had one, and it was so good, and I I realized that I would have rather had one of those than any of the cookies I had been eating. That sometimes I want just a little bit of sweetness.> > And the past two days I haven't finished my breakfast, because I was satisfied.> > But then later in the day.....when I'm stressed and work, and stressed about my son, and the impossibility of all of everything, forget it.> > And when I made dinner last night, and was snacking right and left, and then sat down and ate a full dinner with my other son, who's leaving again on Saturday, and my partner, I realized that food is what I "do." I come home from work, and I cook dinner. Then I eat dinner. I kindof wandered around the house awhile before I started dinner, and there wasn't really anything else I felt like doing. Kindof sad.> > But SIGH. I think I will feel better when I get things resolved with my son (the one who is not leaving on Saturday). I also realized that I feel really GOOD when I am gardening--and by that, I mean happy in my body, and feeling like a strong and beautiful person.> > So there's my wholly contradictory thoughts for the day.> > Tilley>

[Guest guest]

Tilley,I think you've gotten lots of awesome suggestions here.One that Katcha made that I want to echo and put my own spin on is...can you focus on your successes, small as they may feel???

i have a baby, so childrearing is on my mind... think of potty training. every time the child uses the potty successfully, you go CRAZY with praise, and really make a big deal of it. when she doesn't make it to the potty in time, you don't comment on the failure, you just say, " ok, let's clean up, next time hopefully you will make it to the potty in time. "

there's no blame, no criticism, just a mildly stated hope for next time. so what if you just went really overboard for a bit in congratulating yourself on EVERY small success??? 

this has worked REALLY well for me. i find i really need an overly effusive inner cheerleader sometimes!  i also liked 's suggestion of focusing on gardening and other NON food activities that renew you. learning ways to provide self-care that have nothing to do with food are, I think, hugely important to IE. after all, we turn to food for comfort precisely because we are not getting it in other areas, right? i know you know this already, but i just wanted to reiterate it... garden up a storm!

as to whether or not to give the cookie challenge a break... if it is wearing you down, than yes, table it for now. but if you want to keep working on it, that's okay, too. it sounds like maybe you need a break?

i personally don't like diet foods and i don't think they lead to weight loss, anyway, compared to real sugar, so i wouldn't personally advise you to seek them out unless that's what you crave.

all the best to you... and YES, congratulations to you on eating intuitively for breakfast and morning time!best,abby

 

Hi Tilley,

It sounds like you're going through a difficult time with your son right now. Those sorts of situations are tough for all of us, it is understandable that you would find yourself struggling with food during this time.

My thought is that perhaps right now is not the best time to tackle the cookies that are giving you trouble. What if you removed the cookies from the house for now, then tried the cookie experiment again once you feel like your stress levels have returned to a more manageable level? Eventually you would like to take away the cookies' power, but there is nothing that says you must do it right now.

You discovered with the vitamin C drops that just a little bit of sweetness is really what you're craving...maybe you could pick up a bag of fruit-flavored hard candy like Lifesavers or Jolly Ranchers that would do the trick? I really like Tootsie Pops. Maybe sucking on a piece or two of hard candy while you prepare dinner would keep your mouth busy, but you would still be hungry for dinner? Other things that work for me are chewing a piece of gum or drinking a diet soda (I have drunk diet soda for so many years that I actually prefer it over regular, lol) or cup of tea.

It sounds like gardening is something you truly love...is there a way that you could find time to do that daily? I can relate to feeling like food is what you " do " - in my most recent diet foray before IE I spent sooo much time researching healthy recipes, preparing healthy foods (most of which my family wouldn't touch, so only I ate) for the week, thinking about what combos would give me the right macronutrient ratios at each meal and be tasty at the same time, etc. At the time, it all seemed worth it as I was making progress towards and eventually reached my goal - but it truly was so much work, and consumed a good deal of my free time. Could I have been a more fulfilled, well-rounded, happier person if I had focused more of this time on other activities in life? I suspect the answer is yes, and that is a lot of what brought me to IE. Eating healthfully should not require so much brain power, time or energy. At any rate, all this was to say that I'm trying to focus more time on hobbies that I enjoyed before fitness and nutrition became my hobby...such as reading for pleasure, making jewelry and other crafts. I often think back to who I was at 11-13 years old, before I got swept up into dieting, and I think of that girl as my true self...the one who did things because they made her happy, not because they would make her into anyone's " ideal. "

I hope you might find some of my ideas helpful!

>

> I have been working on this for nearly six months, and I still eat frequently when I am not hungry, I still eat beyond full, and I'm getting heavier and heavier. I haven't seemed to have gotten the idea that " just because you can, you don't have to " (thank you, whoever said that) at all.

>

> My " cookie experiment " is a disaster, in that I'm eating them all day long, even though I'm not hungry (though usually I am hungry when I eat the first one) and I don't really want them.

>

> I need help!

>

> I am not about to start dieting, but I have to do SOMETHING different.

>

> Yesterday, I found a bag of vitamin C drops that my student teacher from last semester had left in a drawer, and I had one, and it was so good, and I I realized that I would have rather had one of those than any of the cookies I had been eating. That sometimes I want just a little bit of sweetness.

>

> And the past two days I haven't finished my breakfast, because I was satisfied.

>

> But then later in the day.....when I'm stressed and work, and stressed about my son, and the impossibility of all of everything, forget it.

>

> And when I made dinner last night, and was snacking right and left, and then sat down and ate a full dinner with my other son, who's leaving again on Saturday, and my partner, I realized that food is what I " do. " I come home from work, and I cook dinner. Then I eat dinner. I kindof wandered around the house awhile before I started dinner, and there wasn't really anything else I felt like doing. Kindof sad.

>

> But SIGH. I think I will feel better when I get things resolved with my son (the one who is not leaving on Saturday). I also realized that I feel really GOOD when I am gardening--and by that, I mean happy in my body, and feeling like a strong and beautiful person.

>

> So there's my wholly contradictory thoughts for the day.

>

> Tilley

>

[Guest guest]

Tilley,I think you've gotten lots of awesome suggestions here.One that Katcha made that I want to echo and put my own spin on is...can you focus on your successes, small as they may feel???

i have a baby, so childrearing is on my mind... think of potty training. every time the child uses the potty successfully, you go CRAZY with praise, and really make a big deal of it. when she doesn't make it to the potty in time, you don't comment on the failure, you just say, " ok, let's clean up, next time hopefully you will make it to the potty in time. "

there's no blame, no criticism, just a mildly stated hope for next time. so what if you just went really overboard for a bit in congratulating yourself on EVERY small success??? 

this has worked REALLY well for me. i find i really need an overly effusive inner cheerleader sometimes!  i also liked 's suggestion of focusing on gardening and other NON food activities that renew you. learning ways to provide self-care that have nothing to do with food are, I think, hugely important to IE. after all, we turn to food for comfort precisely because we are not getting it in other areas, right? i know you know this already, but i just wanted to reiterate it... garden up a storm!

as to whether or not to give the cookie challenge a break... if it is wearing you down, than yes, table it for now. but if you want to keep working on it, that's okay, too. it sounds like maybe you need a break?

i personally don't like diet foods and i don't think they lead to weight loss, anyway, compared to real sugar, so i wouldn't personally advise you to seek them out unless that's what you crave.

all the best to you... and YES, congratulations to you on eating intuitively for breakfast and morning time!best,abby

 

Hi Tilley,

It sounds like you're going through a difficult time with your son right now. Those sorts of situations are tough for all of us, it is understandable that you would find yourself struggling with food during this time.

My thought is that perhaps right now is not the best time to tackle the cookies that are giving you trouble. What if you removed the cookies from the house for now, then tried the cookie experiment again once you feel like your stress levels have returned to a more manageable level? Eventually you would like to take away the cookies' power, but there is nothing that says you must do it right now.

You discovered with the vitamin C drops that just a little bit of sweetness is really what you're craving...maybe you could pick up a bag of fruit-flavored hard candy like Lifesavers or Jolly Ranchers that would do the trick? I really like Tootsie Pops. Maybe sucking on a piece or two of hard candy while you prepare dinner would keep your mouth busy, but you would still be hungry for dinner? Other things that work for me are chewing a piece of gum or drinking a diet soda (I have drunk diet soda for so many years that I actually prefer it over regular, lol) or cup of tea.

It sounds like gardening is something you truly love...is there a way that you could find time to do that daily? I can relate to feeling like food is what you " do " - in my most recent diet foray before IE I spent sooo much time researching healthy recipes, preparing healthy foods (most of which my family wouldn't touch, so only I ate) for the week, thinking about what combos would give me the right macronutrient ratios at each meal and be tasty at the same time, etc. At the time, it all seemed worth it as I was making progress towards and eventually reached my goal - but it truly was so much work, and consumed a good deal of my free time. Could I have been a more fulfilled, well-rounded, happier person if I had focused more of this time on other activities in life? I suspect the answer is yes, and that is a lot of what brought me to IE. Eating healthfully should not require so much brain power, time or energy. At any rate, all this was to say that I'm trying to focus more time on hobbies that I enjoyed before fitness and nutrition became my hobby...such as reading for pleasure, making jewelry and other crafts. I often think back to who I was at 11-13 years old, before I got swept up into dieting, and I think of that girl as my true self...the one who did things because they made her happy, not because they would make her into anyone's " ideal. "

I hope you might find some of my ideas helpful!

>

> I have been working on this for nearly six months, and I still eat frequently when I am not hungry, I still eat beyond full, and I'm getting heavier and heavier. I haven't seemed to have gotten the idea that " just because you can, you don't have to " (thank you, whoever said that) at all.

>

> My " cookie experiment " is a disaster, in that I'm eating them all day long, even though I'm not hungry (though usually I am hungry when I eat the first one) and I don't really want them.

>

> I need help!

>

> I am not about to start dieting, but I have to do SOMETHING different.

>

> Yesterday, I found a bag of vitamin C drops that my student teacher from last semester had left in a drawer, and I had one, and it was so good, and I I realized that I would have rather had one of those than any of the cookies I had been eating. That sometimes I want just a little bit of sweetness.

>

> And the past two days I haven't finished my breakfast, because I was satisfied.

>

> But then later in the day.....when I'm stressed and work, and stressed about my son, and the impossibility of all of everything, forget it.

>

> And when I made dinner last night, and was snacking right and left, and then sat down and ate a full dinner with my other son, who's leaving again on Saturday, and my partner, I realized that food is what I " do. " I come home from work, and I cook dinner. Then I eat dinner. I kindof wandered around the house awhile before I started dinner, and there wasn't really anything else I felt like doing. Kindof sad.

>

> But SIGH. I think I will feel better when I get things resolved with my son (the one who is not leaving on Saturday). I also realized that I feel really GOOD when I am gardening--and by that, I mean happy in my body, and feeling like a strong and beautiful person.

>

> So there's my wholly contradictory thoughts for the day.

>

> Tilley

>

[Guest guest]

Tilley,I think you've gotten lots of awesome suggestions here.One that Katcha made that I want to echo and put my own spin on is...can you focus on your successes, small as they may feel???

i have a baby, so childrearing is on my mind... think of potty training. every time the child uses the potty successfully, you go CRAZY with praise, and really make a big deal of it. when she doesn't make it to the potty in time, you don't comment on the failure, you just say, " ok, let's clean up, next time hopefully you will make it to the potty in time. "

there's no blame, no criticism, just a mildly stated hope for next time. so what if you just went really overboard for a bit in congratulating yourself on EVERY small success??? 

this has worked REALLY well for me. i find i really need an overly effusive inner cheerleader sometimes!  i also liked 's suggestion of focusing on gardening and other NON food activities that renew you. learning ways to provide self-care that have nothing to do with food are, I think, hugely important to IE. after all, we turn to food for comfort precisely because we are not getting it in other areas, right? i know you know this already, but i just wanted to reiterate it... garden up a storm!

as to whether or not to give the cookie challenge a break... if it is wearing you down, than yes, table it for now. but if you want to keep working on it, that's okay, too. it sounds like maybe you need a break?

i personally don't like diet foods and i don't think they lead to weight loss, anyway, compared to real sugar, so i wouldn't personally advise you to seek them out unless that's what you crave.

all the best to you... and YES, congratulations to you on eating intuitively for breakfast and morning time!best,abby

 

Hi Tilley,

It sounds like you're going through a difficult time with your son right now. Those sorts of situations are tough for all of us, it is understandable that you would find yourself struggling with food during this time.

My thought is that perhaps right now is not the best time to tackle the cookies that are giving you trouble. What if you removed the cookies from the house for now, then tried the cookie experiment again once you feel like your stress levels have returned to a more manageable level? Eventually you would like to take away the cookies' power, but there is nothing that says you must do it right now.

You discovered with the vitamin C drops that just a little bit of sweetness is really what you're craving...maybe you could pick up a bag of fruit-flavored hard candy like Lifesavers or Jolly Ranchers that would do the trick? I really like Tootsie Pops. Maybe sucking on a piece or two of hard candy while you prepare dinner would keep your mouth busy, but you would still be hungry for dinner? Other things that work for me are chewing a piece of gum or drinking a diet soda (I have drunk diet soda for so many years that I actually prefer it over regular, lol) or cup of tea.

It sounds like gardening is something you truly love...is there a way that you could find time to do that daily? I can relate to feeling like food is what you " do " - in my most recent diet foray before IE I spent sooo much time researching healthy recipes, preparing healthy foods (most of which my family wouldn't touch, so only I ate) for the week, thinking about what combos would give me the right macronutrient ratios at each meal and be tasty at the same time, etc. At the time, it all seemed worth it as I was making progress towards and eventually reached my goal - but it truly was so much work, and consumed a good deal of my free time. Could I have been a more fulfilled, well-rounded, happier person if I had focused more of this time on other activities in life? I suspect the answer is yes, and that is a lot of what brought me to IE. Eating healthfully should not require so much brain power, time or energy. At any rate, all this was to say that I'm trying to focus more time on hobbies that I enjoyed before fitness and nutrition became my hobby...such as reading for pleasure, making jewelry and other crafts. I often think back to who I was at 11-13 years old, before I got swept up into dieting, and I think of that girl as my true self...the one who did things because they made her happy, not because they would make her into anyone's " ideal. "

I hope you might find some of my ideas helpful!

>

> I have been working on this for nearly six months, and I still eat frequently when I am not hungry, I still eat beyond full, and I'm getting heavier and heavier. I haven't seemed to have gotten the idea that " just because you can, you don't have to " (thank you, whoever said that) at all.

>

> My " cookie experiment " is a disaster, in that I'm eating them all day long, even though I'm not hungry (though usually I am hungry when I eat the first one) and I don't really want them.

>

> I need help!

>

> I am not about to start dieting, but I have to do SOMETHING different.

>

> Yesterday, I found a bag of vitamin C drops that my student teacher from last semester had left in a drawer, and I had one, and it was so good, and I I realized that I would have rather had one of those than any of the cookies I had been eating. That sometimes I want just a little bit of sweetness.

>

> And the past two days I haven't finished my breakfast, because I was satisfied.

>

> But then later in the day.....when I'm stressed and work, and stressed about my son, and the impossibility of all of everything, forget it.

>

> And when I made dinner last night, and was snacking right and left, and then sat down and ate a full dinner with my other son, who's leaving again on Saturday, and my partner, I realized that food is what I " do. " I come home from work, and I cook dinner. Then I eat dinner. I kindof wandered around the house awhile before I started dinner, and there wasn't really anything else I felt like doing. Kindof sad.

>

> But SIGH. I think I will feel better when I get things resolved with my son (the one who is not leaving on Saturday). I also realized that I feel really GOOD when I am gardening--and by that, I mean happy in my body, and feeling like a strong and beautiful person.

>

> So there's my wholly contradictory thoughts for the day.

>

> Tilley

>

[Guest guest]

Tiley I agree focus on your successes each day and take the day one moment at a time do not dwell on the bad parts of the day food related or otherwise just take each day as it comes because with IE each day is different just focus on your progress. Only think about ways to handle areas where you struggle but don't dwell on the struggle you will not make any progress. I have posted here several times when I have struggled and have gotten some great ideas to help with my struggle from other members of the group. You will never get IE down pat because each day is different . Eva

Tilley,

I think you've gotten lots of awesome suggestions here.

One that Katcha made that I want to echo and put my own spin on is...

can you focus on your successes, small as they may feel???

i have a baby, so childrearing is on my mind... think of potty training. every time the child uses the potty successfully, you go CRAZY with praise, and really make a big deal of it. when she doesn't make it to the potty in time, you don't comment on the failure, you just say, "ok, let's clean up, next time hopefully you will make it to the potty in time."

there's no blame, no criticism, just a mildly stated hope for next time.

so what if you just went really overboard for a bit in congratulating yourself on EVERY small success???

this has worked REALLY well for me. i find i really need an overly effusive inner cheerleader sometimes!

i also liked 's suggestion of focusing on gardening and other NON food activities that renew you. learning ways to provide self-care that have nothing to do with food are, I think, hugely important to IE. after all, we turn to food for comfort precisely because we are not getting it in other areas, right? i know you know this already, but i just wanted to reiterate it... garden up a storm!

as to whether or not to give the cookie challenge a break... if it is wearing you down, than yes, table it for now. but if you want to keep working on it, that's okay, too. it sounds like maybe you need a break?

i personally don't like diet foods and i don't think they lead to weight loss, anyway, compared to real sugar, so i wouldn't personally advise you to seek them out unless that's what you crave.

all the best to you... and YES, congratulations to you on eating intuitively for breakfast and morning time!

best,

abby

Hi Tilley,It sounds like you're going through a difficult time with your son right now. Those sorts of situations are tough for all of us, it is understandable that you would find yourself struggling with food during this time.My thought is that perhaps right now is not the best time to tackle the cookies that are giving you trouble. What if you removed the cookies from the house for now, then tried the cookie experiment again once you feel like your stress levels have returned to a more manageable level? Eventually you would like to take away the cookies' power, but there is nothing that says you must do it right now. You discovered with the vitamin C drops that just a little bit of sweetness is really what you're craving...maybe you could pick up a bag of fruit-flavored hard candy like Lifesavers or Jolly Ranchers that would do the trick? I really like Tootsie Pops. Maybe sucking on a piece or two of hard candy while you prepare dinner would keep your mouth busy, but you would still be hungry for dinner? Other things that work for me are chewing a piece of gum or drinking a diet soda (I have drunk diet soda for so many years that I actually prefer it over regular, lol) or cup of tea. It sounds like gardening is something you truly love...is there a way that you could find time to do that daily? I can relate to feeling like food is what you "do" - in my most recent diet foray before IE I spent sooo much time researching healthy recipes, preparing healthy foods (most of which my family wouldn't touch, so only I ate) for the week, thinking about what combos would give me the right macronutrient ratios at each meal and be tasty at the same time, etc. At the time, it all seemed worth it as I was making progress towards and eventually reached my goal - but it truly was so much work, and consumed a good deal of my free time. Could I have been a more fulfilled, well-rounded, happier person if I had focused more of this time on other activities in life? I suspect the answer is yes, and that is a lot of what brought me to IE. Eating healthfully should not require so much brain power, time or energy. At any rate, all this was to say that I'm trying to focus more time on hobbies that I enjoyed before fitness and nutrition became my hobby...such as reading for pleasure, making jewelry and other crafts. I often think back to who I was at 11-13 years old, before I got swept up into dieting, and I think of that girl as my true self...the one who did things because they made her happy, not because they would make her into anyone's "ideal."I hope you might find some of my ideas helpful!

>

> I have been working on this for nearly six months, and I still eat frequently when I am not hungry, I still eat beyond full, and I'm getting heavier and heavier. I haven't seemed to have gotten the idea that "just because you can, you don't have to" (thank you, whoever said that) at all.> > My "cookie experiment" is a disaster, in that I'm eating them all day long, even though I'm not hungry (though usually I am hungry when I eat the first one) and I don't really want them.> > I need help! > > I am not about to start dieting, but I have to do SOMETHING different.> > Yesterday, I found a bag of vitamin C drops that my student teacher from last semester had left in a drawer, and I had one, and it was so good, and I I realized that I would have rather had one of those than any of the cookies I had been eating. That sometimes I want just a little bit of sweetness.> > And the past two days I haven't finished my breakfast, because I was satisfied.> > But then later in the day.....when I'm stressed and work, and stressed about my son, and the impossibility of all of everything, forget it.> > And when I made dinner last night, and was snacking right and left, and then sat down and ate a full dinner with my other son, who's leaving again on Saturday, and my partner, I realized that food is what I "do." I come home from work, and I cook dinner. Then I eat dinner. I kindof wandered around the house awhile before I started dinner, and there wasn't really anything else I felt like doing. Kindof sad.> > But SIGH. I think I will feel better when I get things resolved with my son (the one who is not leaving on Saturday). I also realized that I feel really GOOD when I am gardening--and by that, I mean happy in my body, and feeling like a strong and beautiful person.> > So there's my wholly contradictory thoughts for the day.> > Tilley>

[Guest guest]

Tiley I agree focus on your successes each day and take the day one moment at a time do not dwell on the bad parts of the day food related or otherwise just take each day as it comes because with IE each day is different just focus on your progress. Only think about ways to handle areas where you struggle but don't dwell on the struggle you will not make any progress. I have posted here several times when I have struggled and have gotten some great ideas to help with my struggle from other members of the group. You will never get IE down pat because each day is different . Eva

Tilley,

I think you've gotten lots of awesome suggestions here.

One that Katcha made that I want to echo and put my own spin on is...

can you focus on your successes, small as they may feel???

i have a baby, so childrearing is on my mind... think of potty training. every time the child uses the potty successfully, you go CRAZY with praise, and really make a big deal of it. when she doesn't make it to the potty in time, you don't comment on the failure, you just say, "ok, let's clean up, next time hopefully you will make it to the potty in time."

there's no blame, no criticism, just a mildly stated hope for next time.

so what if you just went really overboard for a bit in congratulating yourself on EVERY small success???

this has worked REALLY well for me. i find i really need an overly effusive inner cheerleader sometimes!

i also liked 's suggestion of focusing on gardening and other NON food activities that renew you. learning ways to provide self-care that have nothing to do with food are, I think, hugely important to IE. after all, we turn to food for comfort precisely because we are not getting it in other areas, right? i know you know this already, but i just wanted to reiterate it... garden up a storm!

as to whether or not to give the cookie challenge a break... if it is wearing you down, than yes, table it for now. but if you want to keep working on it, that's okay, too. it sounds like maybe you need a break?

i personally don't like diet foods and i don't think they lead to weight loss, anyway, compared to real sugar, so i wouldn't personally advise you to seek them out unless that's what you crave.

all the best to you... and YES, congratulations to you on eating intuitively for breakfast and morning time!

best,

abby

Hi Tilley,It sounds like you're going through a difficult time with your son right now. Those sorts of situations are tough for all of us, it is understandable that you would find yourself struggling with food during this time.My thought is that perhaps right now is not the best time to tackle the cookies that are giving you trouble. What if you removed the cookies from the house for now, then tried the cookie experiment again once you feel like your stress levels have returned to a more manageable level? Eventually you would like to take away the cookies' power, but there is nothing that says you must do it right now. You discovered with the vitamin C drops that just a little bit of sweetness is really what you're craving...maybe you could pick up a bag of fruit-flavored hard candy like Lifesavers or Jolly Ranchers that would do the trick? I really like Tootsie Pops. Maybe sucking on a piece or two of hard candy while you prepare dinner would keep your mouth busy, but you would still be hungry for dinner? Other things that work for me are chewing a piece of gum or drinking a diet soda (I have drunk diet soda for so many years that I actually prefer it over regular, lol) or cup of tea. It sounds like gardening is something you truly love...is there a way that you could find time to do that daily? I can relate to feeling like food is what you "do" - in my most recent diet foray before IE I spent sooo much time researching healthy recipes, preparing healthy foods (most of which my family wouldn't touch, so only I ate) for the week, thinking about what combos would give me the right macronutrient ratios at each meal and be tasty at the same time, etc. At the time, it all seemed worth it as I was making progress towards and eventually reached my goal - but it truly was so much work, and consumed a good deal of my free time. Could I have been a more fulfilled, well-rounded, happier person if I had focused more of this time on other activities in life? I suspect the answer is yes, and that is a lot of what brought me to IE. Eating healthfully should not require so much brain power, time or energy. At any rate, all this was to say that I'm trying to focus more time on hobbies that I enjoyed before fitness and nutrition became my hobby...such as reading for pleasure, making jewelry and other crafts. I often think back to who I was at 11-13 years old, before I got swept up into dieting, and I think of that girl as my true self...the one who did things because they made her happy, not because they would make her into anyone's "ideal."I hope you might find some of my ideas helpful!

>

> I have been working on this for nearly six months, and I still eat frequently when I am not hungry, I still eat beyond full, and I'm getting heavier and heavier. I haven't seemed to have gotten the idea that "just because you can, you don't have to" (thank you, whoever said that) at all.> > My "cookie experiment" is a disaster, in that I'm eating them all day long, even though I'm not hungry (though usually I am hungry when I eat the first one) and I don't really want them.> > I need help! > > I am not about to start dieting, but I have to do SOMETHING different.> > Yesterday, I found a bag of vitamin C drops that my student teacher from last semester had left in a drawer, and I had one, and it was so good, and I I realized that I would have rather had one of those than any of the cookies I had been eating. That sometimes I want just a little bit of sweetness.> > And the past two days I haven't finished my breakfast, because I was satisfied.> > But then later in the day.....when I'm stressed and work, and stressed about my son, and the impossibility of all of everything, forget it.> > And when I made dinner last night, and was snacking right and left, and then sat down and ate a full dinner with my other son, who's leaving again on Saturday, and my partner, I realized that food is what I "do." I come home from work, and I cook dinner. Then I eat dinner. I kindof wandered around the house awhile before I started dinner, and there wasn't really anything else I felt like doing. Kindof sad.> > But SIGH. I think I will feel better when I get things resolved with my son (the one who is not leaving on Saturday). I also realized that I feel really GOOD when I am gardening--and by that, I mean happy in my body, and feeling like a strong and beautiful person.> > So there's my wholly contradictory thoughts for the day.> > Tilley>

[Guest guest]

Tiley I agree focus on your successes each day and take the day one moment at a time do not dwell on the bad parts of the day food related or otherwise just take each day as it comes because with IE each day is different just focus on your progress. Only think about ways to handle areas where you struggle but don't dwell on the struggle you will not make any progress. I have posted here several times when I have struggled and have gotten some great ideas to help with my struggle from other members of the group. You will never get IE down pat because each day is different . Eva

Tilley,

I think you've gotten lots of awesome suggestions here.

One that Katcha made that I want to echo and put my own spin on is...

can you focus on your successes, small as they may feel???

i have a baby, so childrearing is on my mind... think of potty training. every time the child uses the potty successfully, you go CRAZY with praise, and really make a big deal of it. when she doesn't make it to the potty in time, you don't comment on the failure, you just say, "ok, let's clean up, next time hopefully you will make it to the potty in time."

there's no blame, no criticism, just a mildly stated hope for next time.

so what if you just went really overboard for a bit in congratulating yourself on EVERY small success???

this has worked REALLY well for me. i find i really need an overly effusive inner cheerleader sometimes!

i also liked 's suggestion of focusing on gardening and other NON food activities that renew you. learning ways to provide self-care that have nothing to do with food are, I think, hugely important to IE. after all, we turn to food for comfort precisely because we are not getting it in other areas, right? i know you know this already, but i just wanted to reiterate it... garden up a storm!

as to whether or not to give the cookie challenge a break... if it is wearing you down, than yes, table it for now. but if you want to keep working on it, that's okay, too. it sounds like maybe you need a break?

i personally don't like diet foods and i don't think they lead to weight loss, anyway, compared to real sugar, so i wouldn't personally advise you to seek them out unless that's what you crave.

all the best to you... and YES, congratulations to you on eating intuitively for breakfast and morning time!

best,

abby

Hi Tilley,It sounds like you're going through a difficult time with your son right now. Those sorts of situations are tough for all of us, it is understandable that you would find yourself struggling with food during this time.My thought is that perhaps right now is not the best time to tackle the cookies that are giving you trouble. What if you removed the cookies from the house for now, then tried the cookie experiment again once you feel like your stress levels have returned to a more manageable level? Eventually you would like to take away the cookies' power, but there is nothing that says you must do it right now. You discovered with the vitamin C drops that just a little bit of sweetness is really what you're craving...maybe you could pick up a bag of fruit-flavored hard candy like Lifesavers or Jolly Ranchers that would do the trick? I really like Tootsie Pops. Maybe sucking on a piece or two of hard candy while you prepare dinner would keep your mouth busy, but you would still be hungry for dinner? Other things that work for me are chewing a piece of gum or drinking a diet soda (I have drunk diet soda for so many years that I actually prefer it over regular, lol) or cup of tea. It sounds like gardening is something you truly love...is there a way that you could find time to do that daily? I can relate to feeling like food is what you "do" - in my most recent diet foray before IE I spent sooo much time researching healthy recipes, preparing healthy foods (most of which my family wouldn't touch, so only I ate) for the week, thinking about what combos would give me the right macronutrient ratios at each meal and be tasty at the same time, etc. At the time, it all seemed worth it as I was making progress towards and eventually reached my goal - but it truly was so much work, and consumed a good deal of my free time. Could I have been a more fulfilled, well-rounded, happier person if I had focused more of this time on other activities in life? I suspect the answer is yes, and that is a lot of what brought me to IE. Eating healthfully should not require so much brain power, time or energy. At any rate, all this was to say that I'm trying to focus more time on hobbies that I enjoyed before fitness and nutrition became my hobby...such as reading for pleasure, making jewelry and other crafts. I often think back to who I was at 11-13 years old, before I got swept up into dieting, and I think of that girl as my true self...the one who did things because they made her happy, not because they would make her into anyone's "ideal."I hope you might find some of my ideas helpful!

>

> I have been working on this for nearly six months, and I still eat frequently when I am not hungry, I still eat beyond full, and I'm getting heavier and heavier. I haven't seemed to have gotten the idea that "just because you can, you don't have to" (thank you, whoever said that) at all.> > My "cookie experiment" is a disaster, in that I'm eating them all day long, even though I'm not hungry (though usually I am hungry when I eat the first one) and I don't really want them.> > I need help! > > I am not about to start dieting, but I have to do SOMETHING different.> > Yesterday, I found a bag of vitamin C drops that my student teacher from last semester had left in a drawer, and I had one, and it was so good, and I I realized that I would have rather had one of those than any of the cookies I had been eating. That sometimes I want just a little bit of sweetness.> > And the past two days I haven't finished my breakfast, because I was satisfied.> > But then later in the day.....when I'm stressed and work, and stressed about my son, and the impossibility of all of everything, forget it.> > And when I made dinner last night, and was snacking right and left, and then sat down and ate a full dinner with my other son, who's leaving again on Saturday, and my partner, I realized that food is what I "do." I come home from work, and I cook dinner. Then I eat dinner. I kindof wandered around the house awhile before I started dinner, and there wasn't really anything else I felt like doing. Kindof sad.> > But SIGH. I think I will feel better when I get things resolved with my son (the one who is not leaving on Saturday). I also realized that I feel really GOOD when I am gardening--and by that, I mean happy in my body, and feeling like a strong and beautiful person.> > So there's my wholly contradictory thoughts for the day.> > Tilley>

[Guest guest]

Tilley, Jain, This has been so helpful and well timed.  I have been going through several days of what I call the munchies and never finding anything that satisfied.  So I would go from one thing to another, to another.  Yesterday my friend and I went out to eat and we had a " special secret coupon " .  I breakfast, he had lunch.  The waitress opened our coupon envelope and it was for a free fried ice cream dessert.  It's one of those things that I have ALWAYS wanted but was either too full, it was too expensive, or I just plain felt guilty about calories.  By the way my friend weighs himself all the time and to the tenth of a pound.  He is tall and thin and eats mostly vegetables and salads.  Hard act to follow.  Anyway at the last minute, I decide to get the fried ice cream.  After it is free and I don't have to eat the whole thing.  This dessert is big enough for 4 people.  It's a huge portion of ice cream in  taco shell covered with hot fudge and whip cream.  I was very pleased when my friend helped me eat it.  We left about half.  I didn't stuff myself but later felt uncomfortably full.  The interesting thing is I didn't like it as much as I thought and will never choose to have another.  I would much rather just have a hot fudge sundae with lots of fudge.  That's what I did when I first started IE.  I made them at home and no longer want them so much.  But if I do I will have one.  (Hope I haven't triggered anyone).  Well, that was the good part.  But after I got home I spent the rest of the day snacking and beating myself up.  After all I had had plenty to eat.  But that didn't stop me.  Later I realized that maybe I needed a MEAL and had one really late that day(not good for my reflux).

       I had finally " given in " to buying my favorite cookies and ate them all(small package of Pepridge Farm).  But I don't think I am ready to make peace with cookies yet. I also bought other cookies, not as good, but ate a lot of them too.  I am going to leave the cookies in the grocery store for a while.  Today a have another revelation about my protein shakes.  I don't feel like I have eaten anything but am still hungry.  Then I heard on a TV show how sometimes a liquid breakfast does that.  So I was right.  I could save the shake for another time of the day.  I also am pretty sure I get too much fruit in one as it upsets my digestive system.  So going to change breakfast menu.  Maybe the eggs weren't all that bad.  I worry about them because of my fatty liver(which may not have anything to do with the eggs).  Today I seem to be hungry right after I eat too.  Reminds me of when I was pregnant or right before my period.  I'm 68 and been post menopausal for a long time).  But maybe my hormones are off.  Will see if I can get that tested at my next doctor's visit. I am on some medications that increase appetite. Sorry this is so long.  But it has been interesting reading your posts.  Sandy

 

Tilley, I may be reading some of my own issues into your post, but I wanted to share my thoughts about these in case they 'click' with you too.

I too find that there are times when I continue to eat something (chocolate of late) even though I KNOW I am not truly hungry (for it), I would enjoy it more if eaten when I was hungry, and SOMEthing is causing me to eat it anyway - even to beyond fullness.

Perhaps your cookie experiment isn't a big a disaster as you feel it is? What it may be showing you is that you aren't ready to make peace with food? There are plenty of other aspects to IE that you may find easier to embrace and 'get' IE going for you. Just because the Principles are numbered doesn't mean one has to do them in 'order'.

Beyond the focus on cookies, another thing that clicked within me as I read your post was how your days seem to have a pattern - some breakfast, a little eating during day and then a meal which you enjoy making. Bingo! Same pattern for me! What I've been finding for myself is that I tend to push thoughts of eating (aka hunger?) out of my awareness as I go about my day. And because I so love to eat a MEAL, of my making, with dear hubby at the 'end' of my (working) day, that signals the 'end' of my 'work' - aka IE efforts? Stacked onto that is the fact that I've probably not eaten as much as my body has needed which triggers overeating, additionally supported by my truly enjoying what I've cooked for dinner (official 'meal'). Plus the more I feel I've overate, the more likely I am to over 'snack' (in unwanted food mode) later that evening.

Next day - repeat.

The fact that I KNOW something doesn't seem to = that I will DO something (with or about it). One of the things I have learned and utilize more now is gentle, slow acceptance and encouragement works better for me than any amount of pushing to 'get' X ever has or will. I've also found that I have a hair trigger rebel that is my own knight in shining armor when it comes to allowing 'new' - as in un tried-and-true behaviors - to be incorporated into my life. The thick and heavy armor of that rebel protector has proven to be a tough shell to break thru too! Even when I KNOW that I would be better served by a change.

Hope this hasn't confused and rambled too. But I feel you HAVE made progress and the present 'hump' in your IE trail isn't anything new to most journeys and that you are capable of sorting out the stumbling points and discovering your own way(s) over, around or even thru what faces you at this moment.

POST ON! ehugs, Katcha

>

> I have been working on this for nearly six months, and I still eat frequently when I am not hungry, I still eat beyond full, and I'm getting heavier and heavier. I haven't seemed to have gotten the idea that " just because you can, you don't have to " (thank you, whoever said that) at all.

>

> My " cookie experiment " is a disaster, in that I'm eating them all day long, even though I'm not hungry (though usually I am hungry when I eat the first one) and I don't really want them.

>

> I need help!

>

> I am not about to start dieting, but I have to do SOMETHING different.

>

> Yesterday, I found a bag of vitamin C drops that my student teacher from last semester had left in a drawer, and I had one, and it was so good, and I I realized that I would have rather had one of those than any of the cookies I had been eating. That sometimes I want just a little bit of sweetness.

>

> And the past two days I haven't finished my breakfast, because I was satisfied.

>

> But then later in the day.....when I'm stressed and work, and stressed about my son, and the impossibility of all of everything, forget it.

>

> And when I made dinner last night, and was snacking right and left, and then sat down and ate a full dinner with my other son, who's leaving again on Saturday, and my partner, I realized that food is what I " do. " I come home from work, and I cook dinner. Then I eat dinner. I kindof wandered around the house awhile before I started dinner, and there wasn't really anything else I felt like doing. Kindof sad.

>

> But SIGH. I think I will feel better when I get things resolved with my son (the one who is not leaving on Saturday). I also realized that I feel really GOOD when I am gardening--and by that, I mean happy in my body, and feeling like a strong and beautiful person.

>

> So there's my wholly contradictory thoughts for the day.

>

> Tilley

>

[Guest guest]

Tilley, Jain, This has been so helpful and well timed.  I have been going through several days of what I call the munchies and never finding anything that satisfied.  So I would go from one thing to another, to another.  Yesterday my friend and I went out to eat and we had a " special secret coupon " .  I breakfast, he had lunch.  The waitress opened our coupon envelope and it was for a free fried ice cream dessert.  It's one of those things that I have ALWAYS wanted but was either too full, it was too expensive, or I just plain felt guilty about calories.  By the way my friend weighs himself all the time and to the tenth of a pound.  He is tall and thin and eats mostly vegetables and salads.  Hard act to follow.  Anyway at the last minute, I decide to get the fried ice cream.  After it is free and I don't have to eat the whole thing.  This dessert is big enough for 4 people.  It's a huge portion of ice cream in  taco shell covered with hot fudge and whip cream.  I was very pleased when my friend helped me eat it.  We left about half.  I didn't stuff myself but later felt uncomfortably full.  The interesting thing is I didn't like it as much as I thought and will never choose to have another.  I would much rather just have a hot fudge sundae with lots of fudge.  That's what I did when I first started IE.  I made them at home and no longer want them so much.  But if I do I will have one.  (Hope I haven't triggered anyone).  Well, that was the good part.  But after I got home I spent the rest of the day snacking and beating myself up.  After all I had had plenty to eat.  But that didn't stop me.  Later I realized that maybe I needed a MEAL and had one really late that day(not good for my reflux).

       I had finally " given in " to buying my favorite cookies and ate them all(small package of Pepridge Farm).  But I don't think I am ready to make peace with cookies yet. I also bought other cookies, not as good, but ate a lot of them too.  I am going to leave the cookies in the grocery store for a while.  Today a have another revelation about my protein shakes.  I don't feel like I have eaten anything but am still hungry.  Then I heard on a TV show how sometimes a liquid breakfast does that.  So I was right.  I could save the shake for another time of the day.  I also am pretty sure I get too much fruit in one as it upsets my digestive system.  So going to change breakfast menu.  Maybe the eggs weren't all that bad.  I worry about them because of my fatty liver(which may not have anything to do with the eggs).  Today I seem to be hungry right after I eat too.  Reminds me of when I was pregnant or right before my period.  I'm 68 and been post menopausal for a long time).  But maybe my hormones are off.  Will see if I can get that tested at my next doctor's visit. I am on some medications that increase appetite. Sorry this is so long.  But it has been interesting reading your posts.  Sandy

 

Tilley, I may be reading some of my own issues into your post, but I wanted to share my thoughts about these in case they 'click' with you too.

I too find that there are times when I continue to eat something (chocolate of late) even though I KNOW I am not truly hungry (for it), I would enjoy it more if eaten when I was hungry, and SOMEthing is causing me to eat it anyway - even to beyond fullness.

Perhaps your cookie experiment isn't a big a disaster as you feel it is? What it may be showing you is that you aren't ready to make peace with food? There are plenty of other aspects to IE that you may find easier to embrace and 'get' IE going for you. Just because the Principles are numbered doesn't mean one has to do them in 'order'.

Beyond the focus on cookies, another thing that clicked within me as I read your post was how your days seem to have a pattern - some breakfast, a little eating during day and then a meal which you enjoy making. Bingo! Same pattern for me! What I've been finding for myself is that I tend to push thoughts of eating (aka hunger?) out of my awareness as I go about my day. And because I so love to eat a MEAL, of my making, with dear hubby at the 'end' of my (working) day, that signals the 'end' of my 'work' - aka IE efforts? Stacked onto that is the fact that I've probably not eaten as much as my body has needed which triggers overeating, additionally supported by my truly enjoying what I've cooked for dinner (official 'meal'). Plus the more I feel I've overate, the more likely I am to over 'snack' (in unwanted food mode) later that evening.

Next day - repeat.

The fact that I KNOW something doesn't seem to = that I will DO something (with or about it). One of the things I have learned and utilize more now is gentle, slow acceptance and encouragement works better for me than any amount of pushing to 'get' X ever has or will. I've also found that I have a hair trigger rebel that is my own knight in shining armor when it comes to allowing 'new' - as in un tried-and-true behaviors - to be incorporated into my life. The thick and heavy armor of that rebel protector has proven to be a tough shell to break thru too! Even when I KNOW that I would be better served by a change.

Hope this hasn't confused and rambled too. But I feel you HAVE made progress and the present 'hump' in your IE trail isn't anything new to most journeys and that you are capable of sorting out the stumbling points and discovering your own way(s) over, around or even thru what faces you at this moment.

POST ON! ehugs, Katcha

>

> I have been working on this for nearly six months, and I still eat frequently when I am not hungry, I still eat beyond full, and I'm getting heavier and heavier. I haven't seemed to have gotten the idea that " just because you can, you don't have to " (thank you, whoever said that) at all.

>

> My " cookie experiment " is a disaster, in that I'm eating them all day long, even though I'm not hungry (though usually I am hungry when I eat the first one) and I don't really want them.

>

> I need help!

>

> I am not about to start dieting, but I have to do SOMETHING different.

>

> Yesterday, I found a bag of vitamin C drops that my student teacher from last semester had left in a drawer, and I had one, and it was so good, and I I realized that I would have rather had one of those than any of the cookies I had been eating. That sometimes I want just a little bit of sweetness.

>

> And the past two days I haven't finished my breakfast, because I was satisfied.

>

> But then later in the day.....when I'm stressed and work, and stressed about my son, and the impossibility of all of everything, forget it.

>

> And when I made dinner last night, and was snacking right and left, and then sat down and ate a full dinner with my other son, who's leaving again on Saturday, and my partner, I realized that food is what I " do. " I come home from work, and I cook dinner. Then I eat dinner. I kindof wandered around the house awhile before I started dinner, and there wasn't really anything else I felt like doing. Kindof sad.

>

> But SIGH. I think I will feel better when I get things resolved with my son (the one who is not leaving on Saturday). I also realized that I feel really GOOD when I am gardening--and by that, I mean happy in my body, and feeling like a strong and beautiful person.

>

> So there's my wholly contradictory thoughts for the day.

>

> Tilley

>

[Guest guest]

Tilley, Jain, This has been so helpful and well timed.  I have been going through several days of what I call the munchies and never finding anything that satisfied.  So I would go from one thing to another, to another.  Yesterday my friend and I went out to eat and we had a " special secret coupon " .  I breakfast, he had lunch.  The waitress opened our coupon envelope and it was for a free fried ice cream dessert.  It's one of those things that I have ALWAYS wanted but was either too full, it was too expensive, or I just plain felt guilty about calories.  By the way my friend weighs himself all the time and to the tenth of a pound.  He is tall and thin and eats mostly vegetables and salads.  Hard act to follow.  Anyway at the last minute, I decide to get the fried ice cream.  After it is free and I don't have to eat the whole thing.  This dessert is big enough for 4 people.  It's a huge portion of ice cream in  taco shell covered with hot fudge and whip cream.  I was very pleased when my friend helped me eat it.  We left about half.  I didn't stuff myself but later felt uncomfortably full.  The interesting thing is I didn't like it as much as I thought and will never choose to have another.  I would much rather just have a hot fudge sundae with lots of fudge.  That's what I did when I first started IE.  I made them at home and no longer want them so much.  But if I do I will have one.  (Hope I haven't triggered anyone).  Well, that was the good part.  But after I got home I spent the rest of the day snacking and beating myself up.  After all I had had plenty to eat.  But that didn't stop me.  Later I realized that maybe I needed a MEAL and had one really late that day(not good for my reflux).

       I had finally " given in " to buying my favorite cookies and ate them all(small package of Pepridge Farm).  But I don't think I am ready to make peace with cookies yet. I also bought other cookies, not as good, but ate a lot of them too.  I am going to leave the cookies in the grocery store for a while.  Today a have another revelation about my protein shakes.  I don't feel like I have eaten anything but am still hungry.  Then I heard on a TV show how sometimes a liquid breakfast does that.  So I was right.  I could save the shake for another time of the day.  I also am pretty sure I get too much fruit in one as it upsets my digestive system.  So going to change breakfast menu.  Maybe the eggs weren't all that bad.  I worry about them because of my fatty liver(which may not have anything to do with the eggs).  Today I seem to be hungry right after I eat too.  Reminds me of when I was pregnant or right before my period.  I'm 68 and been post menopausal for a long time).  But maybe my hormones are off.  Will see if I can get that tested at my next doctor's visit. I am on some medications that increase appetite. Sorry this is so long.  But it has been interesting reading your posts.  Sandy

 

Tilley, I may be reading some of my own issues into your post, but I wanted to share my thoughts about these in case they 'click' with you too.

I too find that there are times when I continue to eat something (chocolate of late) even though I KNOW I am not truly hungry (for it), I would enjoy it more if eaten when I was hungry, and SOMEthing is causing me to eat it anyway - even to beyond fullness.

Perhaps your cookie experiment isn't a big a disaster as you feel it is? What it may be showing you is that you aren't ready to make peace with food? There are plenty of other aspects to IE that you may find easier to embrace and 'get' IE going for you. Just because the Principles are numbered doesn't mean one has to do them in 'order'.

Beyond the focus on cookies, another thing that clicked within me as I read your post was how your days seem to have a pattern - some breakfast, a little eating during day and then a meal which you enjoy making. Bingo! Same pattern for me! What I've been finding for myself is that I tend to push thoughts of eating (aka hunger?) out of my awareness as I go about my day. And because I so love to eat a MEAL, of my making, with dear hubby at the 'end' of my (working) day, that signals the 'end' of my 'work' - aka IE efforts? Stacked onto that is the fact that I've probably not eaten as much as my body has needed which triggers overeating, additionally supported by my truly enjoying what I've cooked for dinner (official 'meal'). Plus the more I feel I've overate, the more likely I am to over 'snack' (in unwanted food mode) later that evening.

Next day - repeat.

The fact that I KNOW something doesn't seem to = that I will DO something (with or about it). One of the things I have learned and utilize more now is gentle, slow acceptance and encouragement works better for me than any amount of pushing to 'get' X ever has or will. I've also found that I have a hair trigger rebel that is my own knight in shining armor when it comes to allowing 'new' - as in un tried-and-true behaviors - to be incorporated into my life. The thick and heavy armor of that rebel protector has proven to be a tough shell to break thru too! Even when I KNOW that I would be better served by a change.

Hope this hasn't confused and rambled too. But I feel you HAVE made progress and the present 'hump' in your IE trail isn't anything new to most journeys and that you are capable of sorting out the stumbling points and discovering your own way(s) over, around or even thru what faces you at this moment.

POST ON! ehugs, Katcha

>

> I have been working on this for nearly six months, and I still eat frequently when I am not hungry, I still eat beyond full, and I'm getting heavier and heavier. I haven't seemed to have gotten the idea that " just because you can, you don't have to " (thank you, whoever said that) at all.

>

> My " cookie experiment " is a disaster, in that I'm eating them all day long, even though I'm not hungry (though usually I am hungry when I eat the first one) and I don't really want them.

>

> I need help!

>

> I am not about to start dieting, but I have to do SOMETHING different.

>

> Yesterday, I found a bag of vitamin C drops that my student teacher from last semester had left in a drawer, and I had one, and it was so good, and I I realized that I would have rather had one of those than any of the cookies I had been eating. That sometimes I want just a little bit of sweetness.

>

> And the past two days I haven't finished my breakfast, because I was satisfied.

>

> But then later in the day.....when I'm stressed and work, and stressed about my son, and the impossibility of all of everything, forget it.

>

> And when I made dinner last night, and was snacking right and left, and then sat down and ate a full dinner with my other son, who's leaving again on Saturday, and my partner, I realized that food is what I " do. " I come home from work, and I cook dinner. Then I eat dinner. I kindof wandered around the house awhile before I started dinner, and there wasn't really anything else I felt like doing. Kindof sad.

>

> But SIGH. I think I will feel better when I get things resolved with my son (the one who is not leaving on Saturday). I also realized that I feel really GOOD when I am gardening--and by that, I mean happy in my body, and feeling like a strong and beautiful person.

>

> So there's my wholly contradictory thoughts for the day.

>

> Tilley

>

[Guest guest]

Thank you (and everyone else) so much for your thoughts. It never really

occurred to me that I didn't HAVE to legalize everything at this point, though I

think that perhaps it really may be okay.

What you said about patterns really rang a bell. I discovered long ago that if

I didn't eat enough during the day, I.e. when I was at school, that I would get

home ravenous, and then never stop eating. So I have made it a point to always

bring enough food to eat during the day. I do usually have several " lunches "

with me, and I will eat part of several or all of one and part of another, or

whatever. But yesterday, the second day of a cabinet full of cookies, I ate

cookies all day, and then only a little part of lunch, and I suspect now that by

the time I got home, my body, though I didn't feel hungry, hadn't gotten what it

needed. Today I only ate a few cookies, and actually slipped out of my class

ate one point and ate a half a bagen with cream cheese when I was hungry it he

middle of the morning, and a real lunch at lunchtime when I was really really

hungry, and the other half a bagel now after school, and I feel much much

better. Eating cookies all day really does make me feel crappy.

The other thing I have realized is that I haven't read any novels for awhile,

and that is something I really really enjoy doing, and I could be doing instead

of eating. That is very easily taken care of.

Thank you everyone for your suggestions and thoughts.

Tilley

> >

> > I have been working on this for nearly six months, and I still eat

frequently when I am not hungry, I still eat beyond full, and I'm getting

heavier and heavier. I haven't seemed to have gotten the idea that " just

because you can, you don't have to " (thank you, whoever said that) at all.

> >

> > My " cookie experiment " is a disaster, in that I'm eating them all day long,

even though I'm not hungry (though usually I am hungry when I eat the first one)

and I don't really want them.

> >

> > I need help!

> >

> > I am not about to start dieting, but I have to do SOMETHING different.

> >

> > Yesterday, I found a bag of vitamin C drops that my student teacher from

last semester had left in a drawer, and I had one, and it was so good, and I I

realized that I would have rather had one of those than any of the cookies I had

been eating. That sometimes I want just a little bit of sweetness.

> >

> > And the past two days I haven't finished my breakfast, because I was

satisfied.

> >

> > But then later in the day.....when I'm stressed and work, and stressed about

my son, and the impossibility of all of everything, forget it.

> >

> > And when I made dinner last night, and was snacking right and left, and then

sat down and ate a full dinner with my other son, who's leaving again on

Saturday, and my partner, I realized that food is what I " do. " I come home

from work, and I cook dinner. Then I eat dinner. I kindof wandered around the

house awhile before I started dinner, and there wasn't really anything else I

felt like doing. Kindof sad.

> >

> > But SIGH. I think I will feel better when I get things resolved with my son

(the one who is not leaving on Saturday). I also realized that I feel really

GOOD when I am gardening--and by that, I mean happy in my body, and feeling like

a strong and beautiful person.

> >

> > So there's my wholly contradictory thoughts for the day.

> >

> > Tilley

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Thank you (and everyone else) so much for your thoughts. It never really

occurred to me that I didn't HAVE to legalize everything at this point, though I

think that perhaps it really may be okay.

What you said about patterns really rang a bell. I discovered long ago that if

I didn't eat enough during the day, I.e. when I was at school, that I would get

home ravenous, and then never stop eating. So I have made it a point to always

bring enough food to eat during the day. I do usually have several " lunches "

with me, and I will eat part of several or all of one and part of another, or

whatever. But yesterday, the second day of a cabinet full of cookies, I ate

cookies all day, and then only a little part of lunch, and I suspect now that by

the time I got home, my body, though I didn't feel hungry, hadn't gotten what it

needed. Today I only ate a few cookies, and actually slipped out of my class

ate one point and ate a half a bagen with cream cheese when I was hungry it he

middle of the morning, and a real lunch at lunchtime when I was really really

hungry, and the other half a bagel now after school, and I feel much much

better. Eating cookies all day really does make me feel crappy.

The other thing I have realized is that I haven't read any novels for awhile,

and that is something I really really enjoy doing, and I could be doing instead

of eating. That is very easily taken care of.

Thank you everyone for your suggestions and thoughts.

Tilley

> >

> > I have been working on this for nearly six months, and I still eat

frequently when I am not hungry, I still eat beyond full, and I'm getting

heavier and heavier. I haven't seemed to have gotten the idea that " just

because you can, you don't have to " (thank you, whoever said that) at all.

> >

> > My " cookie experiment " is a disaster, in that I'm eating them all day long,

even though I'm not hungry (though usually I am hungry when I eat the first one)

and I don't really want them.

> >

> > I need help!

> >

> > I am not about to start dieting, but I have to do SOMETHING different.

> >

> > Yesterday, I found a bag of vitamin C drops that my student teacher from

last semester had left in a drawer, and I had one, and it was so good, and I I

realized that I would have rather had one of those than any of the cookies I had

been eating. That sometimes I want just a little bit of sweetness.

> >

> > And the past two days I haven't finished my breakfast, because I was

satisfied.

> >

> > But then later in the day.....when I'm stressed and work, and stressed about

my son, and the impossibility of all of everything, forget it.

> >

> > And when I made dinner last night, and was snacking right and left, and then

sat down and ate a full dinner with my other son, who's leaving again on

Saturday, and my partner, I realized that food is what I " do. " I come home

from work, and I cook dinner. Then I eat dinner. I kindof wandered around the

house awhile before I started dinner, and there wasn't really anything else I

felt like doing. Kindof sad.

> >

> > But SIGH. I think I will feel better when I get things resolved with my son

(the one who is not leaving on Saturday). I also realized that I feel really

GOOD when I am gardening--and by that, I mean happy in my body, and feeling like

a strong and beautiful person.

> >

> > So there's my wholly contradictory thoughts for the day.

> >

> > Tilley

> >

>