Re: I'm just not getting IE

[Guest guest]

Thank you (and everyone else) so much for your thoughts. It never really

occurred to me that I didn't HAVE to legalize everything at this point, though I

think that perhaps it really may be okay.

What you said about patterns really rang a bell. I discovered long ago that if

I didn't eat enough during the day, I.e. when I was at school, that I would get

home ravenous, and then never stop eating. So I have made it a point to always

bring enough food to eat during the day. I do usually have several " lunches "

with me, and I will eat part of several or all of one and part of another, or

whatever. But yesterday, the second day of a cabinet full of cookies, I ate

cookies all day, and then only a little part of lunch, and I suspect now that by

the time I got home, my body, though I didn't feel hungry, hadn't gotten what it

needed. Today I only ate a few cookies, and actually slipped out of my class

ate one point and ate a half a bagen with cream cheese when I was hungry it he

middle of the morning, and a real lunch at lunchtime when I was really really

hungry, and the other half a bagel now after school, and I feel much much

better. Eating cookies all day really does make me feel crappy.

The other thing I have realized is that I haven't read any novels for awhile,

and that is something I really really enjoy doing, and I could be doing instead

of eating. That is very easily taken care of.

Thank you everyone for your suggestions and thoughts.

Tilley

> >

> > I have been working on this for nearly six months, and I still eat

frequently when I am not hungry, I still eat beyond full, and I'm getting

heavier and heavier. I haven't seemed to have gotten the idea that " just

because you can, you don't have to " (thank you, whoever said that) at all.

> >

> > My " cookie experiment " is a disaster, in that I'm eating them all day long,

even though I'm not hungry (though usually I am hungry when I eat the first one)

and I don't really want them.

> >

> > I need help!

> >

> > I am not about to start dieting, but I have to do SOMETHING different.

> >

> > Yesterday, I found a bag of vitamin C drops that my student teacher from

last semester had left in a drawer, and I had one, and it was so good, and I I

realized that I would have rather had one of those than any of the cookies I had

been eating. That sometimes I want just a little bit of sweetness.

> >

> > And the past two days I haven't finished my breakfast, because I was

satisfied.

> >

> > But then later in the day.....when I'm stressed and work, and stressed about

my son, and the impossibility of all of everything, forget it.

> >

> > And when I made dinner last night, and was snacking right and left, and then

sat down and ate a full dinner with my other son, who's leaving again on

Saturday, and my partner, I realized that food is what I " do. " I come home

from work, and I cook dinner. Then I eat dinner. I kindof wandered around the

house awhile before I started dinner, and there wasn't really anything else I

felt like doing. Kindof sad.

> >

> > But SIGH. I think I will feel better when I get things resolved with my son

(the one who is not leaving on Saturday). I also realized that I feel really

GOOD when I am gardening--and by that, I mean happy in my body, and feeling like

a strong and beautiful person.

> >

> > So there's my wholly contradictory thoughts for the day.

> >

> > Tilley

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Tilley,Thanks for updating us!I'm glad to hear that by nourishing yourself, you felt better today.Also, I love to read novels also! 

I just started one two nights ago and it feels like such LUXURY to read about something that's not about work nor about babies!To use my brother's expression, reading " really fills my tank. "

Best,Abby

 

Thank you (and everyone else) so much for your thoughts. It never really occurred to me that I didn't HAVE to legalize everything at this point, though I think that perhaps it really may be okay.

What you said about patterns really rang a bell. I discovered long ago that if I didn't eat enough during the day, I.e. when I was at school, that I would get home ravenous, and then never stop eating. So I have made it a point to always bring enough food to eat during the day. I do usually have several " lunches " with me, and I will eat part of several or all of one and part of another, or whatever. But yesterday, the second day of a cabinet full of cookies, I ate cookies all day, and then only a little part of lunch, and I suspect now that by the time I got home, my body, though I didn't feel hungry, hadn't gotten what it needed. Today I only ate a few cookies, and actually slipped out of my class ate one point and ate a half a bagen with cream cheese when I was hungry it he middle of the morning, and a real lunch at lunchtime when I was really really hungry, and the other half a bagel now after school, and I feel much much better. Eating cookies all day really does make me feel crappy.

The other thing I have realized is that I haven't read any novels for awhile, and that is something I really really enjoy doing, and I could be doing instead of eating. That is very easily taken care of.

Thank you everyone for your suggestions and thoughts.

Tilley

> >

> > I have been working on this for nearly six months, and I still eat frequently when I am not hungry, I still eat beyond full, and I'm getting heavier and heavier. I haven't seemed to have gotten the idea that " just because you can, you don't have to " (thank you, whoever said that) at all.

> >

> > My " cookie experiment " is a disaster, in that I'm eating them all day long, even though I'm not hungry (though usually I am hungry when I eat the first one) and I don't really want them.

> >

> > I need help!

> >

> > I am not about to start dieting, but I have to do SOMETHING different.

> >

> > Yesterday, I found a bag of vitamin C drops that my student teacher from last semester had left in a drawer, and I had one, and it was so good, and I I realized that I would have rather had one of those than any of the cookies I had been eating. That sometimes I want just a little bit of sweetness.

> >

> > And the past two days I haven't finished my breakfast, because I was satisfied.

> >

> > But then later in the day.....when I'm stressed and work, and stressed about my son, and the impossibility of all of everything, forget it.

> >

> > And when I made dinner last night, and was snacking right and left, and then sat down and ate a full dinner with my other son, who's leaving again on Saturday, and my partner, I realized that food is what I " do. " I come home from work, and I cook dinner. Then I eat dinner. I kindof wandered around the house awhile before I started dinner, and there wasn't really anything else I felt like doing. Kindof sad.

> >

> > But SIGH. I think I will feel better when I get things resolved with my son (the one who is not leaving on Saturday). I also realized that I feel really GOOD when I am gardening--and by that, I mean happy in my body, and feeling like a strong and beautiful person.

> >

> > So there's my wholly contradictory thoughts for the day.

> >

> > Tilley

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Tilley,Thanks for updating us!I'm glad to hear that by nourishing yourself, you felt better today.Also, I love to read novels also! 

I just started one two nights ago and it feels like such LUXURY to read about something that's not about work nor about babies!To use my brother's expression, reading " really fills my tank. "

Best,Abby

 

Thank you (and everyone else) so much for your thoughts. It never really occurred to me that I didn't HAVE to legalize everything at this point, though I think that perhaps it really may be okay.

What you said about patterns really rang a bell. I discovered long ago that if I didn't eat enough during the day, I.e. when I was at school, that I would get home ravenous, and then never stop eating. So I have made it a point to always bring enough food to eat during the day. I do usually have several " lunches " with me, and I will eat part of several or all of one and part of another, or whatever. But yesterday, the second day of a cabinet full of cookies, I ate cookies all day, and then only a little part of lunch, and I suspect now that by the time I got home, my body, though I didn't feel hungry, hadn't gotten what it needed. Today I only ate a few cookies, and actually slipped out of my class ate one point and ate a half a bagen with cream cheese when I was hungry it he middle of the morning, and a real lunch at lunchtime when I was really really hungry, and the other half a bagel now after school, and I feel much much better. Eating cookies all day really does make me feel crappy.

The other thing I have realized is that I haven't read any novels for awhile, and that is something I really really enjoy doing, and I could be doing instead of eating. That is very easily taken care of.

Thank you everyone for your suggestions and thoughts.

Tilley

> >

> > I have been working on this for nearly six months, and I still eat frequently when I am not hungry, I still eat beyond full, and I'm getting heavier and heavier. I haven't seemed to have gotten the idea that " just because you can, you don't have to " (thank you, whoever said that) at all.

> >

> > My " cookie experiment " is a disaster, in that I'm eating them all day long, even though I'm not hungry (though usually I am hungry when I eat the first one) and I don't really want them.

> >

> > I need help!

> >

> > I am not about to start dieting, but I have to do SOMETHING different.

> >

> > Yesterday, I found a bag of vitamin C drops that my student teacher from last semester had left in a drawer, and I had one, and it was so good, and I I realized that I would have rather had one of those than any of the cookies I had been eating. That sometimes I want just a little bit of sweetness.

> >

> > And the past two days I haven't finished my breakfast, because I was satisfied.

> >

> > But then later in the day.....when I'm stressed and work, and stressed about my son, and the impossibility of all of everything, forget it.

> >

> > And when I made dinner last night, and was snacking right and left, and then sat down and ate a full dinner with my other son, who's leaving again on Saturday, and my partner, I realized that food is what I " do. " I come home from work, and I cook dinner. Then I eat dinner. I kindof wandered around the house awhile before I started dinner, and there wasn't really anything else I felt like doing. Kindof sad.

> >

> > But SIGH. I think I will feel better when I get things resolved with my son (the one who is not leaving on Saturday). I also realized that I feel really GOOD when I am gardening--and by that, I mean happy in my body, and feeling like a strong and beautiful person.

> >

> > So there's my wholly contradictory thoughts for the day.

> >

> > Tilley

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Tilley,Thanks for updating us!I'm glad to hear that by nourishing yourself, you felt better today.Also, I love to read novels also! 

I just started one two nights ago and it feels like such LUXURY to read about something that's not about work nor about babies!To use my brother's expression, reading " really fills my tank. "

Best,Abby

 

Thank you (and everyone else) so much for your thoughts. It never really occurred to me that I didn't HAVE to legalize everything at this point, though I think that perhaps it really may be okay.

What you said about patterns really rang a bell. I discovered long ago that if I didn't eat enough during the day, I.e. when I was at school, that I would get home ravenous, and then never stop eating. So I have made it a point to always bring enough food to eat during the day. I do usually have several " lunches " with me, and I will eat part of several or all of one and part of another, or whatever. But yesterday, the second day of a cabinet full of cookies, I ate cookies all day, and then only a little part of lunch, and I suspect now that by the time I got home, my body, though I didn't feel hungry, hadn't gotten what it needed. Today I only ate a few cookies, and actually slipped out of my class ate one point and ate a half a bagen with cream cheese when I was hungry it he middle of the morning, and a real lunch at lunchtime when I was really really hungry, and the other half a bagel now after school, and I feel much much better. Eating cookies all day really does make me feel crappy.

The other thing I have realized is that I haven't read any novels for awhile, and that is something I really really enjoy doing, and I could be doing instead of eating. That is very easily taken care of.

Thank you everyone for your suggestions and thoughts.

Tilley

> >

> > I have been working on this for nearly six months, and I still eat frequently when I am not hungry, I still eat beyond full, and I'm getting heavier and heavier. I haven't seemed to have gotten the idea that " just because you can, you don't have to " (thank you, whoever said that) at all.

> >

> > My " cookie experiment " is a disaster, in that I'm eating them all day long, even though I'm not hungry (though usually I am hungry when I eat the first one) and I don't really want them.

> >

> > I need help!

> >

> > I am not about to start dieting, but I have to do SOMETHING different.

> >

> > Yesterday, I found a bag of vitamin C drops that my student teacher from last semester had left in a drawer, and I had one, and it was so good, and I I realized that I would have rather had one of those than any of the cookies I had been eating. That sometimes I want just a little bit of sweetness.

> >

> > And the past two days I haven't finished my breakfast, because I was satisfied.

> >

> > But then later in the day.....when I'm stressed and work, and stressed about my son, and the impossibility of all of everything, forget it.

> >

> > And when I made dinner last night, and was snacking right and left, and then sat down and ate a full dinner with my other son, who's leaving again on Saturday, and my partner, I realized that food is what I " do. " I come home from work, and I cook dinner. Then I eat dinner. I kindof wandered around the house awhile before I started dinner, and there wasn't really anything else I felt like doing. Kindof sad.

> >

> > But SIGH. I think I will feel better when I get things resolved with my son (the one who is not leaving on Saturday). I also realized that I feel really GOOD when I am gardening--and by that, I mean happy in my body, and feeling like a strong and beautiful person.

> >

> > So there's my wholly contradictory thoughts for the day.

> >

> > Tilley

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Tilley,

From a fellow teacher, I have struggled in a major way with getting around the

stress. I too take plenty of food now to avoid that end of the day slump and

overhunger, but I do not try to take anything with fat and sugar as that's what

I tend to grab to alleviate stress. I do take a pbj with honey, which seems to

help a lot with keeping me going. Whatever I take to snack on is individually

wrapped, like a protein bar and piece of fruit, or a premeasured amount of nuts

and some juice, etc. I also make veggie soup which I take to work every single

day to eat alongside my meal, helps to fill me up and gives me nutrients. I've

also got a tea stash in the cabinet...a cup of hot tea really seems to help with

stress. Also, I force myself to go to the window and simply look out for 5

minutes during my planning. I can feel tension drain from me.

I've been working with IE for about a year, and have been very frustrated time

and again. Finally, I feel like I'm eating normally more than I'm not.

I have never tried keeping former binge foods in my house, if I crave something,

I go to get it. Also, when I overeat, I don't condemn myself, anymore, finally,

but I actually sit down and make myself write out what I was thinking, feeling,

before I ate, what I really needed, and what I would do next time in a similar

situation. When I do that, that seems to be when I experience the greatest

growth. Because I have trouble sensing satisfaction, I do some counting, not

restrictive counting, but what a nutritionist has told me would typically

satisfy a person, and it works for me, not always, but most of the time, this

because I didn't want to gain weight from doing this. Also keeping the CDs

playing in my car help a lot.

Don't give up. It is baby steps.

Sara

> > >

> > > I have been working on this for nearly six months, and I still eat

frequently when I am not hungry, I still eat beyond full, and I'm getting

heavier and heavier. I haven't seemed to have gotten the idea that " just

because you can, you don't have to " (thank you, whoever said that) at all.

> > >

> > > My " cookie experiment " is a disaster, in that I'm eating them all day

long, even though I'm not hungry (though usually I am hungry when I eat the

first one) and I don't really want them.

> > >

> > > I need help!

> > >

> > > I am not about to start dieting, but I have to do SOMETHING different.

> > >

> > > Yesterday, I found a bag of vitamin C drops that my student teacher from

last semester had left in a drawer, and I had one, and it was so good, and I I

realized that I would have rather had one of those than any of the cookies I had

been eating. That sometimes I want just a little bit of sweetness.

> > >

> > > And the past two days I haven't finished my breakfast, because I was

satisfied.

> > >

> > > But then later in the day.....when I'm stressed and work, and stressed

about my son, and the impossibility of all of everything, forget it.

> > >

> > > And when I made dinner last night, and was snacking right and left, and

then sat down and ate a full dinner with my other son, who's leaving again on

Saturday, and my partner, I realized that food is what I " do. " I come home

from work, and I cook dinner. Then I eat dinner. I kindof wandered around the

house awhile before I started dinner, and there wasn't really anything else I

felt like doing. Kindof sad.

> > >

> > > But SIGH. I think I will feel better when I get things resolved with my

son (the one who is not leaving on Saturday). I also realized that I feel

really GOOD when I am gardening--and by that, I mean happy in my body, and

feeling like a strong and beautiful person.

> > >

> > > So there's my wholly contradictory thoughts for the day.

> > >

> > > Tilley

> > >

> >

>