new here, dazed and confused...

[Guest guest]

ok, so after moving 12,000 miles to get away from Her,, and 20 years and a happy

independent life later,, I suddenly find myself with the parents staying for 2

months over Christmas and all hell breaks loose. just like the stuff that the

nightmares used to be made of before I escaped to the adult real world... the

glaring, the freeze-outs and silent treatment, bullying, shouting, tantrums,

undermining, constant criticisms, comments made when no one else can hear, the

twisted lying and backtracking and refusal to respect any values my husband and

I have created in our normal little new family life...

So finding this website after looking up the challenging behaviours on wikipedia

(as you do) and it sounds like i have a bpd mother with enabling father....still

not sure if its also a sadistic personlaity disorder...

How do you know what the problem really is if

a) youve been told your whole life that its YOUR fault they behave that way

because WE are the ones with the mental illness not them????

if it is BPD, if all the behavioural symptoms are nasty, cruel and

destructive, at what point does the total lack of empathy inthe 'bpd' border on

sadistic/psychotic???

AND

c) my bioigical mother is a renowned child pychologist specialising in

anti-bullying and child abuse (protection!!!!) the irony of which will seem

obvious to anyone reading on this site....

aaahhhh...thanks! even being able to write this rant is so helpful!