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Bad thing

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I did the bad thing this morning..... stepped on the scale.This came about because my husband told me last night he's joined WW online. So I thought.... how much *do* I weigh, anyway? I'm only 2 pounds over my wake-up call number but I'm having thoughts of, "He's going to be following WW, maybe I should do it with him...." Two pounds over my wake-up call is 12 pounds over the weight I like and 17 pounds over my best athletic weight. See???? I'm counting, I'm obsessing on numbers. The last thing I need is to be counting "points" as well. Numbers drive me crazy. I don't believe in restriction but I do not yet trust myself to let my innate wisdom take the lead; it's been suppressed so long by either diets or overeating. I just asked myself:

Do I *want* to overeat? No, I don't. Well, why am I doing something I really don't want to do, when I have the choice to do it or not? Mostly it's the darn cookies. We live with my mother, who's 90, and she wants cookies. I'm not telling a 90-yr-old she can't have cookies just because I binge on them. She doesn't even eat that many. They disappear because I eat them all.Maybe I should read the IE book after all. Ellie

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