What I'd Been Missing

[Guest guest]

So I keep finding myself rediscovering things. I've always loved yogurt covered

raisins, but I was loving the wrong part. I wasn't actually tasting them, but

inhaling them for some oddly pleasurable sensation caused by the texture

combined with whatever smidgen of taste I managed to experience before cramming

more in my mouth! Tonight when I felt that late night hunger pang, I realized

that's what I wanted, but also knew I needed to learn to eat them differently. I

put 1 piece in my mouth and was surprised to see how long it took to dissolve,

but also how enjoyable it was. I daresay MORE enjoyable! In the same amount of

time it would have normally taken me to eat most of the bag, I ate 3!

I do some self analysis in relation to my hunger patterns, and realize for the

1st ime in my life that I am sooooo not a " 3 meals a day " kinda gal. I hate

feeling full, possibly because it reminds me of my binging days, so I find

myself stopping well before it. This means I get hungry again within a couple

hours, and tho this sometimes makes me anxious, deep down I really like being

able to eat frequently and with lots of variety. Its just ironic because for

some reason the whole 6 small meals a day principle really annoyed me. Yet

that's what my body seems to naturally ask for. I think what I really enjoy is

the sheer freedom of it. I'll be going about my daily tasks and suddenly feel

that welcome little sensation of hunger. Almost as pleasant as a friend

unexpectedly stopping by.

Earlier in the day, I took a walk. Normally this would have been more of a

desperate attempt to burn as many calories as possible in the shortest amount of

time. But not today. What my body wanted was a leisurely, enjoyable walk. And

that's just what it got. Tomorrow, a power walk may sound better! But the point

is that I'm listening! I have truly never felt so in touch with what my body is

telling me. Its like I've finally managed to turn the volume up on the music I

should have been listening to all along! This journey is unbelievably

challenging, but the rewards just seem to keep coming. So incredibly thankful to

be on it.

IE since 2011