Help Needed

[Guest guest]

Help! Longtime Rickettsia Valley EMS provider Rick Culverwell has been

diagnosed with a terminal illness. On April 1, 2006 Rickettsia Valley EMS,

in conjunction with the Bowman's Hospital Auxiliary, will be holding a

fundraiser at Veteran's Park in Frum. All of the money will be used to help

Rick in his agonizing battle with terminal flatulence (TF). Rick was

diagnosed with TF almost a year ago but nutritional supplements and vitamins

have kept it under control. However, this year his disease has escalated

into the full-blown condition. He now cannot work and spends most of his

days in an unventilated room with nothing but a television and Murine eye

drops. He can no longer work as an ambulance driver as his Valves of Houston

have failed and his methane-exit velocity is now nearly 220 kilometers per

hour (Stage III disease).

The event will start with face painting and a parade at 9:00 AM. Radio

station KFRU (660 AM) is hosting a 24-hour Terminal Flatulence Telethon. The

proceeds will go to help Rick and the other sufferers of TF in the

Rickettsia Valley. National TF poster child " Rumbles " Pierre will be

Master of Ceremonies and the first to toot the horn on the new Frum fire

truck.

Later in the afternoon, parents from the Wildeman Elementary School PTO will

be tattooing social security numbers on the foreheads of toddlers as a part

of the National Missing Children Initiative. That will be followed by the

annual baby toss and persimmon eating contest. That night, under the stars,

will be a dance contest. See if your rendition of the " Robot " or the

" Lambada " is better that last year's winner One Cheek Sneak McGee.

Remember, support a good cause. Come out to Frum on April 1, 2006. It will

be a hoot and you can give a good toot to Rick and his battle with TF. If

you can't come to Frum, at least donate: Call 1-.

Thanks and may you have a happy President's Day.

Haustra

Rickettssia Valley EMS Chaplain