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Hi Marilyn,

Glad you introduced yourself. I'm new to IE as well and have been doing a ton of reading. I went to Walmart yesterday as well and brought home Oreos, ice cream, candy bars, etc! I looked in my cart at all I had and just had to laugh! It will be an interesting week! LIke you, I'm concentrating on eating when hungry and having what I want and trying to listen for my full signal (having a hard time w/ that one so far).

Glad to have you here!

Barb

Subject: Introducing myselfTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Date: Sunday, July 31, 2011, 11:42 AM

I joined your group about a week ago and have been reading, reading, reading ever since. I am about 1/2 way thru the IE book by the two nutritionists and thought since I am now taking baby steps in the process I should jump in to the group with two feet and introduce myself. My name is Marilyn. I am a middle aged housewife and mother who has been attempting to control my weight my whole life. I had weight loss surgery 10 years ago and had success with getting my excess weight off; however, the surgery does NOT deal with your head and I have been doing some version of diet or diet rebellion to maintain my weightloss ever since. I am tired of my first thought in the morning being about food. I am tired of feeling guilty for eating all those formerly forbidden foods after "lights out", so hubby and kids would not witness my out of control eating. I love the idea of giving myself permission to eat all my favorite foods, as I love to cook and

bake but in the past would either avoid it or give it all away....then scrounge in the kitchen for some "second best" substitute and eat WAY MORE than if I just allowed myself what I really wanted in the first place. Right now I am focusing on feeling hunger and satisfaction and bringing what I used to think of as "trigger foods" into the house and allowing myself to eat them. As a matter of fact, I just got back from Walmart where I bought my favorite cookie; I am putting them in a special cookie jar (antique, it used to be in my grandma's house when I was a girl) and looking forward to seeing how I handle them this week. Just reading your posts this week has helped me...helped me feel ok with giving up exercise for a bit (I was using it as justification for eating more and/or using it to "offset" what I considered being bad with my eating) and having a blueberry scone from Starbucks for lunch if I wanted one. Oh, and while I haven't

given up the scale I have scaled back on it's usage....I was a daily weigher; now, once a week. Maybe eventually I will give it up. Marilyn

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Hi Marilyn,

Glad you introduced yourself. I'm new to IE as well and have been doing a ton of reading. I went to Walmart yesterday as well and brought home Oreos, ice cream, candy bars, etc! I looked in my cart at all I had and just had to laugh! It will be an interesting week! LIke you, I'm concentrating on eating when hungry and having what I want and trying to listen for my full signal (having a hard time w/ that one so far).

Glad to have you here!

Barb

Subject: Introducing myselfTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Date: Sunday, July 31, 2011, 11:42 AM

I joined your group about a week ago and have been reading, reading, reading ever since. I am about 1/2 way thru the IE book by the two nutritionists and thought since I am now taking baby steps in the process I should jump in to the group with two feet and introduce myself. My name is Marilyn. I am a middle aged housewife and mother who has been attempting to control my weight my whole life. I had weight loss surgery 10 years ago and had success with getting my excess weight off; however, the surgery does NOT deal with your head and I have been doing some version of diet or diet rebellion to maintain my weightloss ever since. I am tired of my first thought in the morning being about food. I am tired of feeling guilty for eating all those formerly forbidden foods after "lights out", so hubby and kids would not witness my out of control eating. I love the idea of giving myself permission to eat all my favorite foods, as I love to cook and

bake but in the past would either avoid it or give it all away....then scrounge in the kitchen for some "second best" substitute and eat WAY MORE than if I just allowed myself what I really wanted in the first place. Right now I am focusing on feeling hunger and satisfaction and bringing what I used to think of as "trigger foods" into the house and allowing myself to eat them. As a matter of fact, I just got back from Walmart where I bought my favorite cookie; I am putting them in a special cookie jar (antique, it used to be in my grandma's house when I was a girl) and looking forward to seeing how I handle them this week. Just reading your posts this week has helped me...helped me feel ok with giving up exercise for a bit (I was using it as justification for eating more and/or using it to "offset" what I considered being bad with my eating) and having a blueberry scone from Starbucks for lunch if I wanted one. Oh, and while I haven't

given up the scale I have scaled back on it's usage....I was a daily weigher; now, once a week. Maybe eventually I will give it up. Marilyn

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Welcome Marilyn! You sure have had lots of experiences pre-IE. Glad to have you

join us, especially with your open and honest attitude. There have been members

here that were seriously considering the surgery option you had. Its wonderful

to have a member who can speak of that from a first hand basis. Your comment "

.... the surgery does NOT deal with your head ... " is EXCELLENT. I often say

that diets deal with what, when, where (aka rules) but never touch the WHY of

eating. IE does - both from body hunger and emotional hunger aspects.

Keep up the reading and very much looking forward to more posts from you too.

Love reading about successes - baby steps included. But whines and questions are

welcome also.

BEST to you, Katcha

IEing since March 2007

>

> I joined your group about a week ago and have been reading, reading, reading

ever since. I am about 1/2 way thru the IE book by the two nutritionists and

thought since I am now taking baby steps in the process I should jump in to the

group with two feet and introduce myself.

>

> My name is Marilyn. I am a middle aged housewife and mother who has been

attempting to control my weight my whole life. I had weight loss surgery 10

years ago and had success with getting my excess weight off; however, the

surgery does NOT deal with your head and I have been doing some version of diet

or diet rebellion to maintain my weightloss ever since. I am tired of my first

thought in the morning being about food. I am tired of feeling guilty for eating

all those formerly forbidden foods after " lights out " , so hubby and kids would

not witness my out of control eating. I love the idea of giving myself

permission to eat all my favorite foods, as I love to cook and bake but in the

past would either avoid it or give it all away....then scrounge in the kitchen

for some " second best " substitute and eat WAY MORE than if I just allowed myself

what I really wanted in the first place.

>

> Right now I am focusing on feeling hunger and satisfaction and bringing what I

used to think of as " trigger foods " into the house and allowing myself to eat

them. As a matter of fact, I just got back from Walmart where I bought my

favorite cookie; I am putting them in a special cookie jar (antique, it used to

be in my grandma's house when I was a girl) and looking forward to seeing how I

handle them this week.

>

> Just reading your posts this week has helped me...helped me feel ok with

giving up exercise for a bit (I was using it as justification for eating more

and/or using it to " offset " what I considered being bad with my eating) and

having a blueberry scone from Starbucks for lunch if I wanted one. Oh, and while

I haven't given up the scale I have scaled back on it's usage....I was a daily

weigher; now, once a week. Maybe eventually I will give it up.

>

> Marilyn

>

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Welcome Marilyn! You sure have had lots of experiences pre-IE. Glad to have you

join us, especially with your open and honest attitude. There have been members

here that were seriously considering the surgery option you had. Its wonderful

to have a member who can speak of that from a first hand basis. Your comment "

.... the surgery does NOT deal with your head ... " is EXCELLENT. I often say

that diets deal with what, when, where (aka rules) but never touch the WHY of

eating. IE does - both from body hunger and emotional hunger aspects.

Keep up the reading and very much looking forward to more posts from you too.

Love reading about successes - baby steps included. But whines and questions are

welcome also.

BEST to you, Katcha

IEing since March 2007

>

> I joined your group about a week ago and have been reading, reading, reading

ever since. I am about 1/2 way thru the IE book by the two nutritionists and

thought since I am now taking baby steps in the process I should jump in to the

group with two feet and introduce myself.

>

> My name is Marilyn. I am a middle aged housewife and mother who has been

attempting to control my weight my whole life. I had weight loss surgery 10

years ago and had success with getting my excess weight off; however, the

surgery does NOT deal with your head and I have been doing some version of diet

or diet rebellion to maintain my weightloss ever since. I am tired of my first

thought in the morning being about food. I am tired of feeling guilty for eating

all those formerly forbidden foods after " lights out " , so hubby and kids would

not witness my out of control eating. I love the idea of giving myself

permission to eat all my favorite foods, as I love to cook and bake but in the

past would either avoid it or give it all away....then scrounge in the kitchen

for some " second best " substitute and eat WAY MORE than if I just allowed myself

what I really wanted in the first place.

>

> Right now I am focusing on feeling hunger and satisfaction and bringing what I

used to think of as " trigger foods " into the house and allowing myself to eat

them. As a matter of fact, I just got back from Walmart where I bought my

favorite cookie; I am putting them in a special cookie jar (antique, it used to

be in my grandma's house when I was a girl) and looking forward to seeing how I

handle them this week.

>

> Just reading your posts this week has helped me...helped me feel ok with

giving up exercise for a bit (I was using it as justification for eating more

and/or using it to " offset " what I considered being bad with my eating) and

having a blueberry scone from Starbucks for lunch if I wanted one. Oh, and while

I haven't given up the scale I have scaled back on it's usage....I was a daily

weigher; now, once a week. Maybe eventually I will give it up.

>

> Marilyn

>

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Welcome Marilyn! You sure have had lots of experiences pre-IE. Glad to have you

join us, especially with your open and honest attitude. There have been members

here that were seriously considering the surgery option you had. Its wonderful

to have a member who can speak of that from a first hand basis. Your comment "

.... the surgery does NOT deal with your head ... " is EXCELLENT. I often say

that diets deal with what, when, where (aka rules) but never touch the WHY of

eating. IE does - both from body hunger and emotional hunger aspects.

Keep up the reading and very much looking forward to more posts from you too.

Love reading about successes - baby steps included. But whines and questions are

welcome also.

BEST to you, Katcha

IEing since March 2007

>

> I joined your group about a week ago and have been reading, reading, reading

ever since. I am about 1/2 way thru the IE book by the two nutritionists and

thought since I am now taking baby steps in the process I should jump in to the

group with two feet and introduce myself.

>

> My name is Marilyn. I am a middle aged housewife and mother who has been

attempting to control my weight my whole life. I had weight loss surgery 10

years ago and had success with getting my excess weight off; however, the

surgery does NOT deal with your head and I have been doing some version of diet

or diet rebellion to maintain my weightloss ever since. I am tired of my first

thought in the morning being about food. I am tired of feeling guilty for eating

all those formerly forbidden foods after " lights out " , so hubby and kids would

not witness my out of control eating. I love the idea of giving myself

permission to eat all my favorite foods, as I love to cook and bake but in the

past would either avoid it or give it all away....then scrounge in the kitchen

for some " second best " substitute and eat WAY MORE than if I just allowed myself

what I really wanted in the first place.

>

> Right now I am focusing on feeling hunger and satisfaction and bringing what I

used to think of as " trigger foods " into the house and allowing myself to eat

them. As a matter of fact, I just got back from Walmart where I bought my

favorite cookie; I am putting them in a special cookie jar (antique, it used to

be in my grandma's house when I was a girl) and looking forward to seeing how I

handle them this week.

>

> Just reading your posts this week has helped me...helped me feel ok with

giving up exercise for a bit (I was using it as justification for eating more

and/or using it to " offset " what I considered being bad with my eating) and

having a blueberry scone from Starbucks for lunch if I wanted one. Oh, and while

I haven't given up the scale I have scaled back on it's usage....I was a daily

weigher; now, once a week. Maybe eventually I will give it up.

>

> Marilyn

>

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Welcome Marilyn. I haven't been here very long, and I've found it very helpful. When I got up this a.m. I found my fudge container empty, so when my husband asked if I needed anything from the store I said yes, please get more fudge. So he did, and that was part of a great win for me -- the first being that when I discovered the empty container it did not matter because I knew I would get more. And just now i realized I still have a partial tin of potato chips in the pantry, something that would not have happened just a few weeks ago. So welcome, and enjoy your journey! :) Judy T

Subject: Introducing myselfTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Date: Sunday, July 31, 2011, 11:42 AM

I joined your group about a week ago and have been reading, reading, reading ever since. I am about 1/2 way thru the IE book by the two nutritionists and thought since I am now taking baby steps in the process I should jump in to the group with two feet and introduce myself. My name is Marilyn. I am a middle aged housewife and mother who has been attempting to control my weight my whole life. I had weight loss surgery 10 years ago and had success with getting my excess weight off; however, the surgery does NOT deal with your head and I have been doing some version of diet or diet rebellion to maintain my weightloss ever since. I am tired of my first thought in the morning being about food. I am tired of feeling guilty for eating all those formerly forbidden foods after "lights out", so hubby and kids would not witness my out of control eating. I love the idea of giving myself permission to eat all my favorite foods, as I love to cook and

bake but in the past would either avoid it or give it all away....then scrounge in the kitchen for some "second best" substitute and eat WAY MORE than if I just allowed myself what I really wanted in the first place. Right now I am focusing on feeling hunger and satisfaction and bringing what I used to think of as "trigger foods" into the house and allowing myself to eat them. As a matter of fact, I just got back from Walmart where I bought my favorite cookie; I am putting them in a special cookie jar (antique, it used to be in my grandma's house when I was a girl) and looking forward to seeing how I handle them this week. Just reading your posts this week has helped me...helped me feel ok with giving up exercise for a bit (I was using it as justification for eating more and/or using it to "offset" what I considered being bad with my eating) and having a blueberry scone from Starbucks for lunch if I wanted one. Oh, and while I haven't

given up the scale I have scaled back on it's usage....I was a daily weigher; now, once a week. Maybe eventually I will give it up. Marilyn

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Welcome Marilyn. I haven't been here very long, and I've found it very helpful. When I got up this a.m. I found my fudge container empty, so when my husband asked if I needed anything from the store I said yes, please get more fudge. So he did, and that was part of a great win for me -- the first being that when I discovered the empty container it did not matter because I knew I would get more. And just now i realized I still have a partial tin of potato chips in the pantry, something that would not have happened just a few weeks ago. So welcome, and enjoy your journey! :) Judy T

Subject: Introducing myselfTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Date: Sunday, July 31, 2011, 11:42 AM

I joined your group about a week ago and have been reading, reading, reading ever since. I am about 1/2 way thru the IE book by the two nutritionists and thought since I am now taking baby steps in the process I should jump in to the group with two feet and introduce myself. My name is Marilyn. I am a middle aged housewife and mother who has been attempting to control my weight my whole life. I had weight loss surgery 10 years ago and had success with getting my excess weight off; however, the surgery does NOT deal with your head and I have been doing some version of diet or diet rebellion to maintain my weightloss ever since. I am tired of my first thought in the morning being about food. I am tired of feeling guilty for eating all those formerly forbidden foods after "lights out", so hubby and kids would not witness my out of control eating. I love the idea of giving myself permission to eat all my favorite foods, as I love to cook and

bake but in the past would either avoid it or give it all away....then scrounge in the kitchen for some "second best" substitute and eat WAY MORE than if I just allowed myself what I really wanted in the first place. Right now I am focusing on feeling hunger and satisfaction and bringing what I used to think of as "trigger foods" into the house and allowing myself to eat them. As a matter of fact, I just got back from Walmart where I bought my favorite cookie; I am putting them in a special cookie jar (antique, it used to be in my grandma's house when I was a girl) and looking forward to seeing how I handle them this week. Just reading your posts this week has helped me...helped me feel ok with giving up exercise for a bit (I was using it as justification for eating more and/or using it to "offset" what I considered being bad with my eating) and having a blueberry scone from Starbucks for lunch if I wanted one. Oh, and while I haven't

given up the scale I have scaled back on it's usage....I was a daily weigher; now, once a week. Maybe eventually I will give it up. Marilyn

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Guest guest

Welcome Marilyn. I haven't been here very long, and I've found it very helpful. When I got up this a.m. I found my fudge container empty, so when my husband asked if I needed anything from the store I said yes, please get more fudge. So he did, and that was part of a great win for me -- the first being that when I discovered the empty container it did not matter because I knew I would get more. And just now i realized I still have a partial tin of potato chips in the pantry, something that would not have happened just a few weeks ago. So welcome, and enjoy your journey! :) Judy T

Subject: Introducing myselfTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Date: Sunday, July 31, 2011, 11:42 AM

I joined your group about a week ago and have been reading, reading, reading ever since. I am about 1/2 way thru the IE book by the two nutritionists and thought since I am now taking baby steps in the process I should jump in to the group with two feet and introduce myself. My name is Marilyn. I am a middle aged housewife and mother who has been attempting to control my weight my whole life. I had weight loss surgery 10 years ago and had success with getting my excess weight off; however, the surgery does NOT deal with your head and I have been doing some version of diet or diet rebellion to maintain my weightloss ever since. I am tired of my first thought in the morning being about food. I am tired of feeling guilty for eating all those formerly forbidden foods after "lights out", so hubby and kids would not witness my out of control eating. I love the idea of giving myself permission to eat all my favorite foods, as I love to cook and

bake but in the past would either avoid it or give it all away....then scrounge in the kitchen for some "second best" substitute and eat WAY MORE than if I just allowed myself what I really wanted in the first place. Right now I am focusing on feeling hunger and satisfaction and bringing what I used to think of as "trigger foods" into the house and allowing myself to eat them. As a matter of fact, I just got back from Walmart where I bought my favorite cookie; I am putting them in a special cookie jar (antique, it used to be in my grandma's house when I was a girl) and looking forward to seeing how I handle them this week. Just reading your posts this week has helped me...helped me feel ok with giving up exercise for a bit (I was using it as justification for eating more and/or using it to "offset" what I considered being bad with my eating) and having a blueberry scone from Starbucks for lunch if I wanted one. Oh, and while I haven't

given up the scale I have scaled back on it's usage....I was a daily weigher; now, once a week. Maybe eventually I will give it up. Marilyn

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  • 5 months later...

Hi all,

My name is , I'm 36 years old, married with three children (9 & 7YO boys,

4YO girl). Here is what brought me here, and I will warn you in advance that I

can be rather long-winded :)...

As a child I was always chubbier than my grade school friends and classmates.

Not obese, but chubby enough that I couldn't wear jeans unless they had elastic

in the waist and chubby enough to be made fun of from time-to-time by even the

girl I considered my best friend. I was unhappy about not looking " normal " and

felt like I didn't fit in. These feelings became more painful as I got older

and became interested in boys. Finally, at the age of 14 my mother got tired of

hearing me complain about my weight and let me join Weight Watchers (she was a

lifetime member.) I went from 145 lbs to 120 lbs in about 4 months and received

a lot of attention from my peers for this accomplishment, and got my first

boyfriend. Life was good! What I didn't realize at the time, however, was that

I had just hopped on the weight-loss roller coaster and would continue to ride

it for more than 20 years.

Of course, I gradually regained the weight I lost on that first diet, and thus

completed my first diet-binge-gain cycle. I have repeated this cycle many, many

times since then. Over the years I have used Weight Watchers several times,

done Craig a few times, done a little of this and that, and most recently

utilized a clean eating approach.

I lost 40 lbs in 2009 by following clean eating principles, which basically

involved avoiding processed foods and eating primarily whole foods, combining

protein and complex carbs at every meal, and eating 5-6 small meals throughout

the day, spaced about 2.5-3 hours apart. I also exercised 5-6 days each week

for roughly an hour each session, combining weight training and cardio. During

this time I achieved a number of fitness goals I set for myself, including

running several half marathons, a full marathon, and competing in a triathlon.

I maintained my weight loss using this philosophy for the longest I ever have,

about a year and a half, and felt great on it. It was a very healthy way of

life, and I definitely thought of it as a lifestyle change and not a diet. But

I regained most of the weight I lost in the last half of 2011 when my emotional

demons got the better of me: I saw a picture of myself at my goal weight and I

hated the way I looked in the picture. I spent the summer and fall of 2011

bingeing off and on, struggling to get back the positive mental state I had

lost, and by Nov. had regained 30 lbs.

This was extremely disappointing, I had thought I had the clean eating lifestyle

down and anticipated being able to maintain my weight loss indefinitely. But

even that, it turns out, could be unraveled if I lost my focus. Obviously, my

relationship with food had not been healed, merely controlled.

Earlier this month I spied the book Intuitive Eating on a friend's bookshelf and

borrowed it from her. As I read it, it struck a chord with me. Not for the

first time I considered how much more time I would have in my life - my brain -

for more meaningful, fulfilling things if I was not constantly thinking about

food, planning what I would/should eat, worrying about how I looked, etc., and

putting off true happiness for when I was in my goal range. Many times over the

years I have thought, if only I hadn't gone on that first diet would I

effortlessly be at a healthy weight now?

It is definitely scary starting off into intuitive eating...completely foreign,

uncharted territory. Given that I was chubby even as a child, does this mean

that I should expect to still be chubby even once intuitive eating becomes

natural? That possibility is disturbing to me. However, isn't the definition

of insanity doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results?

By that definition, and given my history, any program started with the primary

goal of losing weight is sure to eventually lead to regain of said weight. Why

would I want to put myself through that again?

If you're still with me, thanks for hanging in there! I look forward to getting

to know the members of this group and drawing encouragement from your

experiences and sharing my own insights as I learn intuitive eating.

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Welcome so glad you are with us and thanks for your introduction. Eva

Hi all,My name is , I'm 36 years old, married with three children (9 & 7YO boys, 4YO girl). Here is what brought me here, and I will warn you in advance that I can be rather long-winded :)...As a child I was always chubbier than my grade school friends and classmates. Not obese, but chubby enough that I couldn't wear jeans unless they had elastic in the waist and chubby enough to be made fun of from time-to-time by even the girl I considered my best friend. I was unhappy about not looking "normal" and felt like I didn't fit in. These feelings became more painful as I got older and became interested in boys. Finally, at the age of 14 my mother got tired of hearing me complain about my weight and let me join Weight Watchers (she was a lifetime member.) I went from 145 lbs to 120 lbs in about 4 months and received a lot of attention from my peers for this accomplishment, and got my first boyfriend. Life was good! What I didn't realize at the time, however, was that I had just hopped on the weight-loss roller coaster and would continue to ride it for more than 20 years.Of course, I gradually regained the weight I lost on that first diet, and thus completed my first diet-binge-gain cycle. I have repeated this cycle many, many times since then. Over the years I have used Weight Watchers several times, done Craig a few times, done a little of this and that, and most recently utilized a clean eating approach. I lost 40 lbs in 2009 by following clean eating principles, which basically involved avoiding processed foods and eating primarily whole foods, combining protein and complex carbs at every meal, and eating 5-6 small meals throughout the day, spaced about 2.5-3 hours apart. I also exercised 5-6 days each week for roughly an hour each session, combining weight training and cardio. During this time I achieved a number of fitness goals I set for myself, including running several half marathons, a full marathon, and competing in a triathlon. I maintained my weight loss using this philosophy for the longest I ever have, about a year and a half, and felt great on it. It was a very healthy way of life, and I definitely thought of it as a lifestyle change and not a diet. But I regained most of the weight I lost in the last half of 2011 when my emotional demons got the better of me: I saw a picture of myself at my goal weight and I hated the way I looked in the picture. I spent the summer and fall of 2011 bingeing off and on, struggling to get back the positive mental state I had lost, and by Nov. had regained 30 lbs.This was extremely disappointing, I had thought I had the clean eating lifestyle down and anticipated being able to maintain my weight loss indefinitely. But even that, it turns out, could be unraveled if I lost my focus. Obviously, my relationship with food had not been healed, merely controlled.Earlier this month I spied the book Intuitive Eating on a friend's bookshelf and borrowed it from her. As I read it, it struck a chord with me. Not for the first time I considered how much more time I would have in my life - my brain - for more meaningful, fulfilling things if I was not constantly thinking about food, planning what I would/should eat, worrying about how I looked, etc., and putting off true happiness for when I was in my goal range. Many times over the years I have thought, if only I hadn't gone on that first diet would I effortlessly be at a healthy weight now?It is definitely scary starting off into intuitive eating...completely foreign, uncharted territory. Given that I was chubby even as a child, does this mean that I should expect to still be chubby even once intuitive eating becomes natural? That possibility is disturbing to me. However, isn't the definition of insanity doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results? By that definition, and given my history, any program started with the primary goal of losing weight is sure to eventually lead to regain of said weight. Why would I want to put myself through that again? If you're still with me, thanks for hanging in there! I look forward to getting to know the members of this group and drawing encouragement from your experiences and sharing my own insights as I learn intuitive eating.------------------------------------

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Welcome so glad you are with us and thanks for your introduction. Eva

Hi all,My name is , I'm 36 years old, married with three children (9 & 7YO boys, 4YO girl). Here is what brought me here, and I will warn you in advance that I can be rather long-winded :)...As a child I was always chubbier than my grade school friends and classmates. Not obese, but chubby enough that I couldn't wear jeans unless they had elastic in the waist and chubby enough to be made fun of from time-to-time by even the girl I considered my best friend. I was unhappy about not looking "normal" and felt like I didn't fit in. These feelings became more painful as I got older and became interested in boys. Finally, at the age of 14 my mother got tired of hearing me complain about my weight and let me join Weight Watchers (she was a lifetime member.) I went from 145 lbs to 120 lbs in about 4 months and received a lot of attention from my peers for this accomplishment, and got my first boyfriend. Life was good! What I didn't realize at the time, however, was that I had just hopped on the weight-loss roller coaster and would continue to ride it for more than 20 years.Of course, I gradually regained the weight I lost on that first diet, and thus completed my first diet-binge-gain cycle. I have repeated this cycle many, many times since then. Over the years I have used Weight Watchers several times, done Craig a few times, done a little of this and that, and most recently utilized a clean eating approach. I lost 40 lbs in 2009 by following clean eating principles, which basically involved avoiding processed foods and eating primarily whole foods, combining protein and complex carbs at every meal, and eating 5-6 small meals throughout the day, spaced about 2.5-3 hours apart. I also exercised 5-6 days each week for roughly an hour each session, combining weight training and cardio. During this time I achieved a number of fitness goals I set for myself, including running several half marathons, a full marathon, and competing in a triathlon. I maintained my weight loss using this philosophy for the longest I ever have, about a year and a half, and felt great on it. It was a very healthy way of life, and I definitely thought of it as a lifestyle change and not a diet. But I regained most of the weight I lost in the last half of 2011 when my emotional demons got the better of me: I saw a picture of myself at my goal weight and I hated the way I looked in the picture. I spent the summer and fall of 2011 bingeing off and on, struggling to get back the positive mental state I had lost, and by Nov. had regained 30 lbs.This was extremely disappointing, I had thought I had the clean eating lifestyle down and anticipated being able to maintain my weight loss indefinitely. But even that, it turns out, could be unraveled if I lost my focus. Obviously, my relationship with food had not been healed, merely controlled.Earlier this month I spied the book Intuitive Eating on a friend's bookshelf and borrowed it from her. As I read it, it struck a chord with me. Not for the first time I considered how much more time I would have in my life - my brain - for more meaningful, fulfilling things if I was not constantly thinking about food, planning what I would/should eat, worrying about how I looked, etc., and putting off true happiness for when I was in my goal range. Many times over the years I have thought, if only I hadn't gone on that first diet would I effortlessly be at a healthy weight now?It is definitely scary starting off into intuitive eating...completely foreign, uncharted territory. Given that I was chubby even as a child, does this mean that I should expect to still be chubby even once intuitive eating becomes natural? That possibility is disturbing to me. However, isn't the definition of insanity doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results? By that definition, and given my history, any program started with the primary goal of losing weight is sure to eventually lead to regain of said weight. Why would I want to put myself through that again? If you're still with me, thanks for hanging in there! I look forward to getting to know the members of this group and drawing encouragement from your experiences and sharing my own insights as I learn intuitive eating.------------------------------------

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Welcome so glad you are with us and thanks for your introduction. Eva

Hi all,My name is , I'm 36 years old, married with three children (9 & 7YO boys, 4YO girl). Here is what brought me here, and I will warn you in advance that I can be rather long-winded :)...As a child I was always chubbier than my grade school friends and classmates. Not obese, but chubby enough that I couldn't wear jeans unless they had elastic in the waist and chubby enough to be made fun of from time-to-time by even the girl I considered my best friend. I was unhappy about not looking "normal" and felt like I didn't fit in. These feelings became more painful as I got older and became interested in boys. Finally, at the age of 14 my mother got tired of hearing me complain about my weight and let me join Weight Watchers (she was a lifetime member.) I went from 145 lbs to 120 lbs in about 4 months and received a lot of attention from my peers for this accomplishment, and got my first boyfriend. Life was good! What I didn't realize at the time, however, was that I had just hopped on the weight-loss roller coaster and would continue to ride it for more than 20 years.Of course, I gradually regained the weight I lost on that first diet, and thus completed my first diet-binge-gain cycle. I have repeated this cycle many, many times since then. Over the years I have used Weight Watchers several times, done Craig a few times, done a little of this and that, and most recently utilized a clean eating approach. I lost 40 lbs in 2009 by following clean eating principles, which basically involved avoiding processed foods and eating primarily whole foods, combining protein and complex carbs at every meal, and eating 5-6 small meals throughout the day, spaced about 2.5-3 hours apart. I also exercised 5-6 days each week for roughly an hour each session, combining weight training and cardio. During this time I achieved a number of fitness goals I set for myself, including running several half marathons, a full marathon, and competing in a triathlon. I maintained my weight loss using this philosophy for the longest I ever have, about a year and a half, and felt great on it. It was a very healthy way of life, and I definitely thought of it as a lifestyle change and not a diet. But I regained most of the weight I lost in the last half of 2011 when my emotional demons got the better of me: I saw a picture of myself at my goal weight and I hated the way I looked in the picture. I spent the summer and fall of 2011 bingeing off and on, struggling to get back the positive mental state I had lost, and by Nov. had regained 30 lbs.This was extremely disappointing, I had thought I had the clean eating lifestyle down and anticipated being able to maintain my weight loss indefinitely. But even that, it turns out, could be unraveled if I lost my focus. Obviously, my relationship with food had not been healed, merely controlled.Earlier this month I spied the book Intuitive Eating on a friend's bookshelf and borrowed it from her. As I read it, it struck a chord with me. Not for the first time I considered how much more time I would have in my life - my brain - for more meaningful, fulfilling things if I was not constantly thinking about food, planning what I would/should eat, worrying about how I looked, etc., and putting off true happiness for when I was in my goal range. Many times over the years I have thought, if only I hadn't gone on that first diet would I effortlessly be at a healthy weight now?It is definitely scary starting off into intuitive eating...completely foreign, uncharted territory. Given that I was chubby even as a child, does this mean that I should expect to still be chubby even once intuitive eating becomes natural? That possibility is disturbing to me. However, isn't the definition of insanity doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results? By that definition, and given my history, any program started with the primary goal of losing weight is sure to eventually lead to regain of said weight. Why would I want to put myself through that again? If you're still with me, thanks for hanging in there! I look forward to getting to know the members of this group and drawing encouragement from your experiences and sharing my own insights as I learn intuitive eating.------------------------------------

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