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Re: Weekly assessment.... listening to the body...

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When I read this response I had to step back a minute and figure out what was

going on for me re, " I choose to listen to my body " ... It's clear now, that

what drives my eating so much of the time is the diet rebel with whom I have not

intervened much at all. I have a long story about believing that I'm out of

control and cannot be managed. I never identified with the diet police but

always with the rebellious me. Didn't know there were two sides to the coin.

In one response from Katcha some time back she said that she just tells the diet

police to, " back the fat off " ... That struck me as so funny that I've used my

own version ever since. And it's been so effecive in silencing the diet police.

But I haven't done the similar intervention with the diet rebel who now has a

lot of free rein. So... that's the next step. I'll find some silly thing to

say to that forward motion of the diet rebel, rather than cajoling, therapizing,

analyzing - I just need a thought-stopping mechanism.

I'd originally thought this (IE) process was about somehow magically deciding to

" come conscious " to life - which is true but that isn't something you simply

decide to d and voila! you are (conscious). In order to come conscious, one

must snap out of the unconscious processes that drive behaviors.

Clearly that takes a bit of a jolt to " break the spell " . The spell of " I have

to have it " , " if I don't eat it I'll never get to again " , " This is mine and I

want it " - all of that blah, blah, blah born of too much restriction, too many

rules, too much control, too much invalidation, etc. Somebody needs to write

the equivalent of Women who run the Wolves about this process of learning to

listen to the intuitive around eating. The woman who ran with her spaghetti, or

something. Anyway...

Whew. Thanks for helping me snap out of the resistance and confusion about

" challenging the diet rebel " .

Sandarah

> >

> > So... today I spent most of the day eating and trying to pretend that I

wasn't noticing I was eating without hunger. Then I read the post about what

was learned this week and determined to stop and notice.

> >

> > This week was ruled by pressures at work. I was breathlessly busy everyday

with calls, e-mails, people coming into my office with something to talk about,

HR needing this and that, interviews, on and on and on. I did push back one

time and went to the health club to work out - and to feel better. And it was

great. But that was Thursday. The rest was devoured by pressures.

> >

> > And - maybe by my perfectionism and workaholism. I've always said that work

was easier than any other relationships. I get work - I don't get other

interactions as easily. Work has job descriptions, parameters, goals,

objectives and if nothing else, a mission statement. I know the rules and where

I fit in things. I remember when I first learned about job descriptions and

when I had my first performance evaluation. I thought, " this is great - at last

I'm getting feedback and know what to change in order to do better! " Bet not

many people felt that way.

> >

> > Today I've been mostly de-stressing. Wanting to comfort myself and to not

work, I guess. I guess when I'm eating I'm not working and thus I have

permission to be with myself.

> >

> > Boy - I don't think I learned anything this week regarding intuitive eating.

> >

> > Sandarah

> >

>

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