feel like a horrible person

January 2, 2011

it's 4:30am... step son (SS) won't sleep. He's 4. His mother is a nada,

most likely BPD. At her house, he gets to stay up till god knows when

because she's up all night drinking. then here, we have a bed time, etc.

He is up all night every saturday night screaming, yelling & throwing a

fit. The kid is always in a horrible mood when we have him. He's such an

ANGRY little guy! It BREAKS my heart but I am so fed up!

He's been screaming & throwing a tantrum on and off since 12:40... 10

minutes after I layed down for bed. This is how it happens every weekend.

It's ALWAYS 5 - 10 mins after I lie down, no matter what time that is. I

DON'T get it! He has radar. This last time he started, I actually yelled

" God D*** it " really loud. I feel horrible. But I am about ready to pull

my hair out!

I think fiance needs to take SS for a psych eval. Our T agrees because SS

is so so angry all the time!. But fiance NEEDS TO DO THE LEGWORK to make it

happen. I've checked out a couple of options that SS is sadly too old for.

Fiance needs to find someone privately and pronto. Other wise I feel like

I'm going to be the one to end up in the nut house!

I'm sorry. I feel awful for the kids and their situation, but yes, I'm very

upset over this. We have to deal with no sleep every saturday night! I

don't think fiance has any idea how that effects me, especially with

fibromyalgia! When I don't get enough sleep I hurt so bad. So every Sunday

is a day full of awful pain for me.

I don't know if SS is old enough or if he's developmentally delayed (my

suspicion) too much to handle the staying over night stuff. I have no idea

what to do about this. And I feel like a monster right now for screaming

G-D it earlier! That's so not like me, but I am at my wits end =( Not that

that's an excuse.

Thanks for letting me vent. It's a tough situation and fiance's ex

definetly triggers me... ugh. Just don't know what to do.

Mia

Recommended Posts