Guest guest Posted January 28, 2010 Report Share Posted January 28, 2010 , Hi I just want you to know that you are not alone & I am sorry that on a group like this people can still judge. I am a mom of 3 my oldest 17) has PDD amongst many other Dx I had him @ the young age of 18 & was a sinlge mom myself for many years prior to meeting my husband I then had my beautiful twin girls who are now 4 and one also one the spectrum. I have yet to return to the work field because it was just impossible to juggle 3 children sports, therapies 6 days a week not to mention the ongoing daily tasks of keeping up w/the house. I have attempted to work out of the house on several occasions & just wasn't able to keep up with the demands, hours, etc. not to mention that my husband is out of the country for 2 weeks a month so I feel like a single mother 90% of the time. I am hoping that once they enter Kindergarten this fall I may be able to find a p/t during school hours so that we can then focus on therapy after school which is very much needed to keep these kids on track... I pray that you will find something that works for you and your schedule but know tha tyou are NOT alone and just disregard what others say. BEcause until you are in those shoes you can't imagine what it can possible be like.. Aileen To: sList Sent: Thu, January 28, 2010 8:49:37 AMSubject: Re: Is it just me? I had to throw my 2 cents into this mix. I run into mommies that go to the same school as my daughter, at therapy AFTER school. My daughter has additional therapy 4 days a week, again, AFTER school. I know a couple of moms that literally cannot work due to their child's disability. I actually tried working while the kids were in school, and I made myself sick. Between running them to school, running to work, running to pick them up (and they're at seperate schools across town), then running to therapy and then home to do more caretaking and keeping up the house and cooking dinner....you get the picture. It's incredibly difficult and I couldn't do it. I don't know how most mommies with special needs kids do it. Lizzie, please don't judge another mommy (especially a special needs mommy) until you've walked in her shoes.> > > >From: ewihlborgaol (DOT) com <ewihlborgaol (DOT) com>> >Subject: Is it just me?> >To: sList@ yahoogroups. com> >Date: Tuesday, January 26, 2010, 7:58 PM> >> >> > > >Hi all> >> >I wanted your opinion on these 2 matters. Is it just me? Raising a child is hard enough. Then you a Autism and health issues and that's a whole other ball game. My wonderful son is 7 years old and in first grade. Yes, he's improving day to day. He's still so far behind from other kids his age. I hate comparing him to kids his age because he is not like kids his age. On top of he fact I do not have anyone to pick him up from school, take him to doctors appointments etc I have issues with therapy. He'll have therapy but then his insurance says that we have reached the maximum benefits for the year and we have to pay out of pocket. I can not afford it. Then when the insurance kicks in we have to WAIT for an evaluation, then WAIT for appointments to get approved, So, my son hasn't received therapy in 8 months.> >> >Also, how am I suppose to find a job? I can only work when my son is in school. And I go to school 2 days a week. Yes I can work some weekends. Is it just me in this situation? Does anyone have any advice?> >> >> >> >> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 28, 2010 Report Share Posted January 28, 2010 Diane,That was so beautifully written. Thank you for sharing. This is such an overwhelming path on which we find ourselves, it helps great numbers of us to read it elaborated so perfectly. I think it was the "gaping hole in our hearts" that hit home for me.Best, To: sList Sent: Tue, December 28, 2010 12:53:52 PMSubject: Re: Is it just me? , I just wanted to share empathy and understanding to your plight--autism is devastating in ways that can only possibly be known by those whose who are living through it, and NO, it is not just you. Autism affects us emotionally, mentally, financially, it affects all members of the immediate and extended family, it affects our friendships, our futures. Sometimes we are lied to by the very people we ENTRUST our children with. Sometimes we must LIVE through the injustices that we used to only read about in the headlines. There does not exist another complex medical condition such as autism--we know in our hearts that our children are not "mentally ill". We know that something is definitely wrong, but since it is their brains that are sick, and the barf is not all over the floor, we are told to "go get therapy" implying "if you want to help your child's bodily systems, you figure it out yourself" We are faced with no less than 100 course of treatment for autism--OT, PT, Tomatis auditory, GFCF diet, Floortime, ABA, music therapy, social instruction, speech therapy, hippotherapy, biomedical interventions, homeopathy, supplementation, sensory integration, --etc etc etc. Decisions we are forever making and forever second guessing, most of which are met with a raised eyebrow when discussing our lives with someone who doesn't understand. We must go about our daily lives trying to ignore that gaping hole in our hearts, continually swallowing statements like "What prevents you from getting a job like the rest of us?" even from the very places that were created to provide support, info, & help from those in this same boat. No, , it is not just you, Sincerely, Diane R. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 28, 2010 Report Share Posted January 28, 2010 Diane,That was so beautifully written. Thank you for sharing. This is such an overwhelming path on which we find ourselves, it helps great numbers of us to read it elaborated so perfectly. I think it was the "gaping hole in our hearts" that hit home for me.Best, To: sList Sent: Tue, December 28, 2010 12:53:52 PMSubject: Re: Is it just me? , I just wanted to share empathy and understanding to your plight--autism is devastating in ways that can only possibly be known by those whose who are living through it, and NO, it is not just you. Autism affects us emotionally, mentally, financially, it affects all members of the immediate and extended family, it affects our friendships, our futures. Sometimes we are lied to by the very people we ENTRUST our children with. Sometimes we must LIVE through the injustices that we used to only read about in the headlines. There does not exist another complex medical condition such as autism--we know in our hearts that our children are not "mentally ill". We know that something is definitely wrong, but since it is their brains that are sick, and the barf is not all over the floor, we are told to "go get therapy" implying "if you want to help your child's bodily systems, you figure it out yourself" We are faced with no less than 100 course of treatment for autism--OT, PT, Tomatis auditory, GFCF diet, Floortime, ABA, music therapy, social instruction, speech therapy, hippotherapy, biomedical interventions, homeopathy, supplementation, sensory integration, --etc etc etc. Decisions we are forever making and forever second guessing, most of which are met with a raised eyebrow when discussing our lives with someone who doesn't understand. We must go about our daily lives trying to ignore that gaping hole in our hearts, continually swallowing statements like "What prevents you from getting a job like the rest of us?" even from the very places that were created to provide support, info, & help from those in this same boat. No, , it is not just you, Sincerely, Diane R. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 28, 2010 Report Share Posted January 28, 2010 Diane,That was so beautifully written. Thank you for sharing. This is such an overwhelming path on which we find ourselves, it helps great numbers of us to read it elaborated so perfectly. I think it was the "gaping hole in our hearts" that hit home for me.Best, To: sList Sent: Tue, December 28, 2010 12:53:52 PMSubject: Re: Is it just me? , I just wanted to share empathy and understanding to your plight--autism is devastating in ways that can only possibly be known by those whose who are living through it, and NO, it is not just you. Autism affects us emotionally, mentally, financially, it affects all members of the immediate and extended family, it affects our friendships, our futures. Sometimes we are lied to by the very people we ENTRUST our children with. Sometimes we must LIVE through the injustices that we used to only read about in the headlines. There does not exist another complex medical condition such as autism--we know in our hearts that our children are not "mentally ill". We know that something is definitely wrong, but since it is their brains that are sick, and the barf is not all over the floor, we are told to "go get therapy" implying "if you want to help your child's bodily systems, you figure it out yourself" We are faced with no less than 100 course of treatment for autism--OT, PT, Tomatis auditory, GFCF diet, Floortime, ABA, music therapy, social instruction, speech therapy, hippotherapy, biomedical interventions, homeopathy, supplementation, sensory integration, --etc etc etc. Decisions we are forever making and forever second guessing, most of which are met with a raised eyebrow when discussing our lives with someone who doesn't understand. We must go about our daily lives trying to ignore that gaping hole in our hearts, continually swallowing statements like "What prevents you from getting a job like the rest of us?" even from the very places that were created to provide support, info, & help from those in this same boat. No, , it is not just you, Sincerely, Diane R. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 28, 2010 Report Share Posted January 28, 2010 I want to thank all of you for you kind words. Its so hard and most days its a struggle to get out of bed. I feel so good that I'm apart of this group & that I can express how I feel. It all means so much to me! Is it just me? > >To: sList@ yahoogroups. com > >Date: Tuesday, January 26, 2010, 7:58 PM > > > > > > > >Hi all > > > >I wanted your opinion on these 2 matters. Is it just me? Raising a child is hard enough. Then you a Autism and health issues and that's a whole other ball game. My wonderful son is 7 years old and in first grade.. Yes, he's improving day to day. He's still so far behind from other kids his age. I hate comparing him to kids his age because he is not like kids his age. On top of he fact I do not have anyone to pick him up from school, take him to doctors appointments etc I have issues with therapy. He'll have therapy but then his insurance says that we have reached the maximum benefits for the year and we have to pay out of pocket. I can not afford it. Then whe FLAGS (XAOL-GOODCHECK-DONE XAOL-RECEIVED XAOL-GOOD XAOL-VIRUS-NOT-SCANNED) --- message truncated --- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 28, 2010 Report Share Posted January 28, 2010 I want to thank all of you for you kind words. Its so hard and most days its a struggle to get out of bed. I feel so good that I'm apart of this group & that I can express how I feel. It all means so much to me! Is it just me? > >To: sList@ yahoogroups. com > >Date: Tuesday, January 26, 2010, 7:58 PM > > > > > > > >Hi all > > > >I wanted your opinion on these 2 matters. Is it just me? Raising a child is hard enough. Then you a Autism and health issues and that's a whole other ball game. My wonderful son is 7 years old and in first grade.. Yes, he's improving day to day. He's still so far behind from other kids his age. I hate comparing him to kids his age because he is not like kids his age. On top of he fact I do not have anyone to pick him up from school, take him to doctors appointments etc I have issues with therapy. He'll have therapy but then his insurance says that we have reached the maximum benefits for the year and we have to pay out of pocket. I can not afford it. Then whe FLAGS (XAOL-GOODCHECK-DONE XAOL-RECEIVED XAOL-GOOD XAOL-VIRUS-NOT-SCANNED) --- message truncated --- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 28, 2010 Report Share Posted January 28, 2010 I want to thank all of you for you kind words. Its so hard and most days its a struggle to get out of bed. I feel so good that I'm apart of this group & that I can express how I feel. It all means so much to me! Is it just me? > >To: sList@ yahoogroups. com > >Date: Tuesday, January 26, 2010, 7:58 PM > > > > > > > >Hi all > > > >I wanted your opinion on these 2 matters. Is it just me? Raising a child is hard enough. Then you a Autism and health issues and that's a whole other ball game. My wonderful son is 7 years old and in first grade.. Yes, he's improving day to day. He's still so far behind from other kids his age. I hate comparing him to kids his age because he is not like kids his age. On top of he fact I do not have anyone to pick him up from school, take him to doctors appointments etc I have issues with therapy. He'll have therapy but then his insurance says that we have reached the maximum benefits for the year and we have to pay out of pocket. I can not afford it. Then whe FLAGS (XAOL-GOODCHECK-DONE XAOL-RECEIVED XAOL-GOOD XAOL-VIRUS-NOT-SCANNED) --- message truncated --- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 28, 2010 Report Share Posted January 28, 2010 , You are doing an awesome job with all that you have been dealt!! Thank you for letting me part of you and your child's life . Do what you can and always keep your head up! Life is not always easy but we take what we have been given and we deal. You will figure it all out, we all do!!! I am very proud of you!!!! Ysela Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 28, 2010 Report Share Posted January 28, 2010 , You are doing an awesome job with all that you have been dealt!! Thank you for letting me part of you and your child's life . Do what you can and always keep your head up! Life is not always easy but we take what we have been given and we deal. You will figure it all out, we all do!!! I am very proud of you!!!! Ysela Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 29, 2010 Report Share Posted January 29, 2010 Ysela, I'm so happy your apart of our lives! Thank you for your kind words. -----Original Message----- Subj: Re: Is it just me? Date: Thu Jan 28, 2010 8:53 pm Size: 4K To: sList , You are doing an awesome job with all that you have been dealt!! Thank you for letting me part of you and your child's life . Do what you can and always keep your head up! Life is not always easy but we take what we have been given and we deal. You will figure it all out, we all do!!! I am very proud of you!!!! Ysela Reply to sender | Reply to group Messages in this topic (33) Recent Activity: New Members 6 Visit Your Group Start a New Topic MARKETPLACE Going Green: Your Yahoo! Groups resource for green living Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 29, 2010 Report Share Posted January 29, 2010 Hi , I was just reading an article on businesses that you could run out of your home. I'm not sure how "Martha -y" you are but a couple of them sounded interesting. Make meals and deliver them to people who don't have time to cook for themselves. ( I had a client who did this and did very well and she started out by just bringing flyers to different businesses in the area. She had a fixed menu M-F and you could buy by the day or by the week) Ironing (dry cleaners have gotten so expensive that I've heard this service is coming back) Housecleaning - easy to make your own hours Selling used items on ebay for others With so many parents having to go back to work I've heard that these service businesses are growing. Hope this helps, CHRISTINA LARSONDistinctive Florida Realty Group14263 SW 16th CourtDavie, FL 33325Fax: E-mail: christina.larson@... To: sList Sent: Thu, January 28, 2010 6:52:00 PMSubject: Re: Re: Is it just me? I want to thank all of you for you kind words. Its so hard and most days its a struggle to get out of bed. I feel so good that I'm apart of this group & that I can express how I feel.It all means so much to me! Is it just me?> >To: sList@ yahoogroups. com> >Date: Tuesday, January 26, 2010, 7:58 PM> >> >> > > >Hi all> >> >I wanted your opinion on these 2 matters. Is it just me? Raising a child is hard enough. Then you a Autism and health issues and that's a whole other ball game. My wonderful son is 7 years old and in first grade.. Yes, he's improving day to day. He's still so far behind from other kids his age. I hate comparing him to kids his age because he is not like kids his age. On top of he fact I do not have anyone to pick him up from school, take him to doctors appointments etc I have issues with therapy. He'll have therapy but then his insurance says that we have reached the maximum benefits for the year and we have to pay out of pocket. I can not afford it. Then whe FLAGS (XAOL-GOODCHECK- DONE XAOL-RECEIVED XAOL-GOOD XAOL-VIRUS-NOT- SCANNED)--- message truncated --- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 29, 2010 Report Share Posted January 29, 2010 and listmembers,From an Advocates point of view.... Most mothers are innovated and it's definitely not just you. If I were to give an estimate off the top of my head over half of all single moms are not able to work and also handle the very much full time job of raising their child with a disability. For example I'm in the introductions of an IEP right now as I type... how possibly could this mom be at work at 9 am... after getting her son ready for school.. prepping for the IEP... and then doing it.. she can't be. So... don't be hard on yourself... you are more of the 'norm' then an exception. Keep up the good fight and stay strong. As my son reaches adulthood I know that my ex.. his mom.. is able to handle a part time job only because she's got Dad handling all the Education planning, IEP's, incoming calls from the district as they have questions... etc. . My hat is off to all mothers who take on this job.. and the fathers that do too. Although rare.. I do get cases where it's the dad alone with his kids.. getting all kids ready for school and handling all of the work involved after is quite a job. I work from an office located within a foster/adoptive home with 5 children, 4 adopted children w/history of biological parents that used drugs during pregnancy/conception which has 3 of them ASD and one C.P. ... Both parents stay at home in this case..and handle a full time job with them from about 6 am to 8 pm... So .. you're doing well E. , Sr. Nationwide Spec. Ed. Advocate/AdviserThe Office of Special Education Advocacy, Inc. " O.S.E.A. " Founder, The Office of Advocacy for Autistic Children, est.1996NOTE: OFFICE has MOVED TO CALIF...Hm/office #(530)605-3548You can also reach my Sr. Advocate and Business Manager at the Home Office # aboveCELL # *best way to reach me is by cell**BAN Illegal Restraint, Seclusion, and Arrest of Dev. Disabled** JOIN US AT: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/EveryoneUnited4DisabilityReform/ http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ParentsUnitedforSpecialEd/This electronic mail message and any attached files contain information intended for the exclusive use of the individual or entity to whom it is addressed and may contain information that is proprietary, privileged, confidential, and/or exempt from disclosure under the Electronic Communications Privacy Act, (18 U.S.C. §§ 2510-2521.)To: sList Sent: Thu, January 28, 2010 1:34:29 PMSubject: Re: Re: Is it just me? , Hi I just want you to know that you are not alone & I am sorry that on a group like this people can still judge. I am a mom of 3 my oldest 17) has PDD amongst many other Dx I had him @ the young age of 18 & was a sinlge mom myself for many years prior to meeting my husband I then had my beautiful twin girls who are now 4 and one also one the spectrum. I have yet to return to the work field because it was just impossible to juggle 3 children sports, therapies 6 days a week not to mention the ongoing daily tasks of keeping up w/the house. I have attempted to work out of the house on several occasions & just wasn't able to keep up with the demands, hours, etc. not to mention that my husband is out of the country for 2 weeks a month so I feel like a single mother 90% of the time. I am hoping that once they enter Kindergarten this fall I may be able to find a p/t during school hours so that we can then focus on therapy after school which is very much needed to keep these kids on track... I pray that you will find something that works for you and your schedule but know tha tyou are NOT alone and just disregard what others say. BEcause until you are in those shoes you can't imagine what it can possible be like.. Aileen From: copswife112501 <party.of.4comcast (DOT) net>To: sList@ yahoogroups. comSent: Thu, January 28, 2010 8:49:37 AMSubject: Re: Is it just me? I had to throw my 2 cents into this mix. I run into mommies that go to the same school as my daughter, at therapy AFTER school. My daughter has additional therapy 4 days a week, again, AFTER school. I know a couple of moms that literally cannot work due to their child's disability. I actually tried working while the kids were in school, and I made myself sick. Between running them to school, running to work, running to pick them up (and they're at seperate schools across town), then running to therapy and then home to do more caretaking and keeping up the house and cooking dinner....you get the picture. It's incredibly difficult and I couldn't do it. I don't know how most mommies with special needs kids do it. Lizzie, please don't judge another mommy (especially a special needs mommy) until you've walked in her shoes.> > > >From: ewihlborgaol (DOT) com <ewihlborgaol (DOT) com>> >Subject: Is it just me?> >To: sList@ yahoogroups. com> >Date: Tuesday, January 26, 2010, 7:58 PM> >> >> > > >Hi all> >> >I wanted your opinion on these 2 matters. Is it just me? Raising a child is hard enough. Then you a Autism and health issues and that's a whole other ball game. My wonderful son is 7 years old and in first grade. Yes, he's improving day to day. He's still so far behind from other kids his age. I hate comparing him to kids his age because he is not like kids his age. On top of he fact I do not have anyone to pick him up from school, take him to doctors appointments etc I have issues with therapy. He'll have therapy but then his insurance says that we have reached the maximum benefits for the year and we have to pay out of pocket. I can not afford it. Then when the insurance kicks in we have to WAIT for an evaluation, then WAIT for appointments to get approved, So, my son hasn't received therapy in 8 months.> >> >Also, how am I suppose to find a job? I can only work when my son is in school. And I go to school 2 days a week. Yes I can work some weekends. Is it just me in this situation? Does anyone have any advice?> >> >> >> >> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 29, 2010 Report Share Posted January 29, 2010 and listmembers,From an Advocates point of view.... Most mothers are innovated and it's definitely not just you. If I were to give an estimate off the top of my head over half of all single moms are not able to work and also handle the very much full time job of raising their child with a disability. For example I'm in the introductions of an IEP right now as I type... how possibly could this mom be at work at 9 am... after getting her son ready for school.. prepping for the IEP... and then doing it.. she can't be. So... don't be hard on yourself... you are more of the 'norm' then an exception. Keep up the good fight and stay strong. As my son reaches adulthood I know that my ex.. his mom.. is able to handle a part time job only because she's got Dad handling all the Education planning, IEP's, incoming calls from the district as they have questions... etc. . My hat is off to all mothers who take on this job.. and the fathers that do too. Although rare.. I do get cases where it's the dad alone with his kids.. getting all kids ready for school and handling all of the work involved after is quite a job. I work from an office located within a foster/adoptive home with 5 children, 4 adopted children w/history of biological parents that used drugs during pregnancy/conception which has 3 of them ASD and one C.P. ... Both parents stay at home in this case..and handle a full time job with them from about 6 am to 8 pm... So .. you're doing well E. , Sr. Nationwide Spec. Ed. Advocate/AdviserThe Office of Special Education Advocacy, Inc. " O.S.E.A. " Founder, The Office of Advocacy for Autistic Children, est.1996NOTE: OFFICE has MOVED TO CALIF...Hm/office #(530)605-3548You can also reach my Sr. Advocate and Business Manager at the Home Office # aboveCELL # *best way to reach me is by cell**BAN Illegal Restraint, Seclusion, and Arrest of Dev. Disabled** JOIN US AT: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/EveryoneUnited4DisabilityReform/ http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ParentsUnitedforSpecialEd/This electronic mail message and any attached files contain information intended for the exclusive use of the individual or entity to whom it is addressed and may contain information that is proprietary, privileged, confidential, and/or exempt from disclosure under the Electronic Communications Privacy Act, (18 U.S.C. §§ 2510-2521.)To: sList Sent: Thu, January 28, 2010 1:34:29 PMSubject: Re: Re: Is it just me? , Hi I just want you to know that you are not alone & I am sorry that on a group like this people can still judge. I am a mom of 3 my oldest 17) has PDD amongst many other Dx I had him @ the young age of 18 & was a sinlge mom myself for many years prior to meeting my husband I then had my beautiful twin girls who are now 4 and one also one the spectrum. I have yet to return to the work field because it was just impossible to juggle 3 children sports, therapies 6 days a week not to mention the ongoing daily tasks of keeping up w/the house. I have attempted to work out of the house on several occasions & just wasn't able to keep up with the demands, hours, etc. not to mention that my husband is out of the country for 2 weeks a month so I feel like a single mother 90% of the time. I am hoping that once they enter Kindergarten this fall I may be able to find a p/t during school hours so that we can then focus on therapy after school which is very much needed to keep these kids on track... I pray that you will find something that works for you and your schedule but know tha tyou are NOT alone and just disregard what others say. BEcause until you are in those shoes you can't imagine what it can possible be like.. Aileen From: copswife112501 <party.of.4comcast (DOT) net>To: sList@ yahoogroups. comSent: Thu, January 28, 2010 8:49:37 AMSubject: Re: Is it just me? I had to throw my 2 cents into this mix. I run into mommies that go to the same school as my daughter, at therapy AFTER school. My daughter has additional therapy 4 days a week, again, AFTER school. I know a couple of moms that literally cannot work due to their child's disability. I actually tried working while the kids were in school, and I made myself sick. Between running them to school, running to work, running to pick them up (and they're at seperate schools across town), then running to therapy and then home to do more caretaking and keeping up the house and cooking dinner....you get the picture. It's incredibly difficult and I couldn't do it. I don't know how most mommies with special needs kids do it. Lizzie, please don't judge another mommy (especially a special needs mommy) until you've walked in her shoes.> > > >From: ewihlborgaol (DOT) com <ewihlborgaol (DOT) com>> >Subject: Is it just me?> >To: sList@ yahoogroups. com> >Date: Tuesday, January 26, 2010, 7:58 PM> >> >> > > >Hi all> >> >I wanted your opinion on these 2 matters. Is it just me? Raising a child is hard enough. Then you a Autism and health issues and that's a whole other ball game. My wonderful son is 7 years old and in first grade. Yes, he's improving day to day. He's still so far behind from other kids his age. I hate comparing him to kids his age because he is not like kids his age. On top of he fact I do not have anyone to pick him up from school, take him to doctors appointments etc I have issues with therapy. He'll have therapy but then his insurance says that we have reached the maximum benefits for the year and we have to pay out of pocket. I can not afford it. Then when the insurance kicks in we have to WAIT for an evaluation, then WAIT for appointments to get approved, So, my son hasn't received therapy in 8 months.> >> >Also, how am I suppose to find a job? I can only work when my son is in school. And I go to school 2 days a week. Yes I can work some weekends. Is it just me in this situation? Does anyone have any advice?> >> >> >> >> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 29, 2010 Report Share Posted January 29, 2010 I am a stay at home single mom of a 9 year old autistic boy and a typical 6 year old. As a former teacher, I could go back to the classroom, but with the demands of being a mother, keeping a house, caring for children basically alone and therapies, a full time job is crazy to maintain as a single parent.I agree with the responses of the other mommies.If you are creative, you can find things out there to accomodate your "limited" time.I suggest checking craigslist in the part time listings.Also, there are many mlm companies you can look into that have little or no start up. Perosnally, I tried mary kay and make up/skin care was not my cup of team (hen I searched more and found silpada jewerly. I have been doing that for 3 years , gotten into a leadership role and its a great fit for me. I have used my position to help other moms to get their own biz started for free. If anyone out there is interested, email me and I will explain and tell you more. Its been a great help having the extra money and I do shows when my kids are in school or get a babysitter a few times a month or do them when they are with their daddy. A lot of the direct sales work this way and you work when. You want and can't get fired if your kid is sick!! (; Hang in there and remember, we all do the best we can. I feel for you because I am a single mom and have NO family in the state. I have had to weed out all the time zappers that make me insane and spend the time loving my kids. Good luck!!Sent via BlackBerry from T-MobileDate: Fri, 29 Jan 2010 05:24:57 -0800 (PST)To: <sList >Subject: Re: Re: Is it just me? Hi ,I was just reading an article on businesses that you could run out of your home. I'm not sure how "Martha -y" you are but a couple of them sounded interesting. Make meals and deliver them to people who don't have time to cook for themselves. ( I had a client who did this and did very well and she started out by just bringing flyers to different businesses in the area. She had a fixed menu M-F and you could buy by the day or by the week)Ironing (dry cleaners have gotten so expensive that I've heard this service is coming back)Housecleaning - easy to make your own hoursSelling used items on ebay for others With so many parents having to go back to work I've heard that these service businesses are growing. Hope this helps, CHRISTINA LARSONDistinctive Florida Realty Group14263 SW 16th CourtDavie, FL 33325Fax: E-mail: christina.larsonFrom: "ewihlborgaol" <ewihlborgaol>To: sList Sent: Thu, January 28, 2010 6:52:00 PMSubject: Re: Re: Is it just me? I want to thank all of you for you kind words. Its so hard and most days its a struggle to get out of bed. I feel so good that I'm apart of this group & that I can express how I feel.It all means so much to me! Is it just me?> >To: sList@ yahoogroups. com> >Date: Tuesday, January 26, 2010, 7:58 PM> >> >> > > >Hi all> >> >I wanted your opinion on these 2 matters. Is it just me? Raising a child is hard enough. Then you a Autism and health issues and that's a whole other ball game. My wonderful son is 7 years old and in first grade.. Yes, he's improving day to day. He's still so far behind from other kids his age. I hate comparing him to kids his age because he is not like kids his age. On top of he fact I do not have anyone to pick him up from school, take him to doctors appointments etc I have issues with therapy. He'll have therapy butthen his insurance says that we have reached the maximum benefits for the year and we have to pay out of pocket. I can not afford it. Then whe FLAGS (XAOL-GOODCHECK- DONE XAOL-RECEIVED XAOL-GOOD XAOL-VIRUS-NOT- SCANNED)--- message truncated --- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 29, 2010 Report Share Posted January 29, 2010 I am a stay at home single mom of a 9 year old autistic boy and a typical 6 year old. As a former teacher, I could go back to the classroom, but with the demands of being a mother, keeping a house, caring for children basically alone and therapies, a full time job is crazy to maintain as a single parent.I agree with the responses of the other mommies.If you are creative, you can find things out there to accomodate your "limited" time.I suggest checking craigslist in the part time listings.Also, there are many mlm companies you can look into that have little or no start up. Perosnally, I tried mary kay and make up/skin care was not my cup of team (hen I searched more and found silpada jewerly. I have been doing that for 3 years , gotten into a leadership role and its a great fit for me. I have used my position to help other moms to get their own biz started for free. If anyone out there is interested, email me and I will explain and tell you more. Its been a great help having the extra money and I do shows when my kids are in school or get a babysitter a few times a month or do them when they are with their daddy. A lot of the direct sales work this way and you work when. You want and can't get fired if your kid is sick!! (; Hang in there and remember, we all do the best we can. I feel for you because I am a single mom and have NO family in the state. I have had to weed out all the time zappers that make me insane and spend the time loving my kids. Good luck!!Sent via BlackBerry from T-MobileDate: Fri, 29 Jan 2010 05:24:57 -0800 (PST)To: <sList >Subject: Re: Re: Is it just me? Hi ,I was just reading an article on businesses that you could run out of your home. I'm not sure how "Martha -y" you are but a couple of them sounded interesting. Make meals and deliver them to people who don't have time to cook for themselves. ( I had a client who did this and did very well and she started out by just bringing flyers to different businesses in the area. She had a fixed menu M-F and you could buy by the day or by the week)Ironing (dry cleaners have gotten so expensive that I've heard this service is coming back)Housecleaning - easy to make your own hoursSelling used items on ebay for others With so many parents having to go back to work I've heard that these service businesses are growing. Hope this helps, CHRISTINA LARSONDistinctive Florida Realty Group14263 SW 16th CourtDavie, FL 33325Fax: E-mail: christina.larsonFrom: "ewihlborgaol" <ewihlborgaol>To: sList Sent: Thu, January 28, 2010 6:52:00 PMSubject: Re: Re: Is it just me? I want to thank all of you for you kind words. Its so hard and most days its a struggle to get out of bed. I feel so good that I'm apart of this group & that I can express how I feel.It all means so much to me! Is it just me?> >To: sList@ yahoogroups. com> >Date: Tuesday, January 26, 2010, 7:58 PM> >> >> > > >Hi all> >> >I wanted your opinion on these 2 matters. Is it just me? Raising a child is hard enough. Then you a Autism and health issues and that's a whole other ball game. My wonderful son is 7 years old and in first grade.. Yes, he's improving day to day. He's still so far behind from other kids his age. I hate comparing him to kids his age because he is not like kids his age. On top of he fact I do not have anyone to pick him up from school, take him to doctors appointments etc I have issues with therapy. He'll have therapy butthen his insurance says that we have reached the maximum benefits for the year and we have to pay out of pocket. I can not afford it. Then whe FLAGS (XAOL-GOODCHECK- DONE XAOL-RECEIVED XAOL-GOOD XAOL-VIRUS-NOT- SCANNED)--- message truncated --- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 29, 2010 Report Share Posted January 29, 2010 I am a stay at home single mom of a 9 year old autistic boy and a typical 6 year old. As a former teacher, I could go back to the classroom, but with the demands of being a mother, keeping a house, caring for children basically alone and therapies, a full time job is crazy to maintain as a single parent.I agree with the responses of the other mommies.If you are creative, you can find things out there to accomodate your "limited" time.I suggest checking craigslist in the part time listings.Also, there are many mlm companies you can look into that have little or no start up. Perosnally, I tried mary kay and make up/skin care was not my cup of team (hen I searched more and found silpada jewerly. I have been doing that for 3 years , gotten into a leadership role and its a great fit for me. I have used my position to help other moms to get their own biz started for free. If anyone out there is interested, email me and I will explain and tell you more. Its been a great help having the extra money and I do shows when my kids are in school or get a babysitter a few times a month or do them when they are with their daddy. A lot of the direct sales work this way and you work when. You want and can't get fired if your kid is sick!! (; Hang in there and remember, we all do the best we can. I feel for you because I am a single mom and have NO family in the state. I have had to weed out all the time zappers that make me insane and spend the time loving my kids. Good luck!!Sent via BlackBerry from T-MobileDate: Fri, 29 Jan 2010 05:24:57 -0800 (PST)To: <sList >Subject: Re: Re: Is it just me? Hi ,I was just reading an article on businesses that you could run out of your home. I'm not sure how "Martha -y" you are but a couple of them sounded interesting. Make meals and deliver them to people who don't have time to cook for themselves. ( I had a client who did this and did very well and she started out by just bringing flyers to different businesses in the area. She had a fixed menu M-F and you could buy by the day or by the week)Ironing (dry cleaners have gotten so expensive that I've heard this service is coming back)Housecleaning - easy to make your own hoursSelling used items on ebay for others With so many parents having to go back to work I've heard that these service businesses are growing. Hope this helps, CHRISTINA LARSONDistinctive Florida Realty Group14263 SW 16th CourtDavie, FL 33325Fax: E-mail: christina.larsonFrom: "ewihlborgaol" <ewihlborgaol>To: sList Sent: Thu, January 28, 2010 6:52:00 PMSubject: Re: Re: Is it just me? I want to thank all of you for you kind words. Its so hard and most days its a struggle to get out of bed. I feel so good that I'm apart of this group & that I can express how I feel.It all means so much to me! Is it just me?> >To: sList@ yahoogroups. com> >Date: Tuesday, January 26, 2010, 7:58 PM> >> >> > > >Hi all> >> >I wanted your opinion on these 2 matters. Is it just me? Raising a child is hard enough. Then you a Autism and health issues and that's a whole other ball game. My wonderful son is 7 years old and in first grade.. Yes, he's improving day to day. He's still so far behind from other kids his age. I hate comparing him to kids his age because he is not like kids his age. On top of he fact I do not have anyone to pick him up from school, take him to doctors appointments etc I have issues with therapy. He'll have therapy butthen his insurance says that we have reached the maximum benefits for the year and we have to pay out of pocket. I can not afford it. Then whe FLAGS (XAOL-GOODCHECK- DONE XAOL-RECEIVED XAOL-GOOD XAOL-VIRUS-NOT- SCANNED)--- message truncated --- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 29, 2010 Report Share Posted January 29, 2010 Diane R,I was going to respond to the message of "is it just me?" but your words said it all. You expressed exactly how I feel. Thanks for putting it outthere and letting me know that I am not alone.DebbieTo: sList Sent: Thu, January 28, 2010 8:53:22 PMSubject: Re: Is it just me? , You are doing an awesome job with all that you have been dealt!! Thank you for letting me part of you and your child's life . Do what you can and always keep your head up! Life is not always easy but we take what we have been given and we deal. You will figure it all out, we all do!!! I am very proud of you!!!! Ysela Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 29, 2010 Report Share Posted January 29, 2010 Diane R,I was going to respond to the message of "is it just me?" but your words said it all. You expressed exactly how I feel. Thanks for putting it outthere and letting me know that I am not alone.DebbieTo: sList Sent: Thu, January 28, 2010 8:53:22 PMSubject: Re: Is it just me? , You are doing an awesome job with all that you have been dealt!! Thank you for letting me part of you and your child's life . Do what you can and always keep your head up! Life is not always easy but we take what we have been given and we deal. You will figure it all out, we all do!!! I am very proud of you!!!! Ysela Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 29, 2010 Report Share Posted January 29, 2010 Diane R,I was going to respond to the message of "is it just me?" but your words said it all. You expressed exactly how I feel. Thanks for putting it outthere and letting me know that I am not alone.DebbieTo: sList Sent: Thu, January 28, 2010 8:53:22 PMSubject: Re: Is it just me? , You are doing an awesome job with all that you have been dealt!! Thank you for letting me part of you and your child's life . Do what you can and always keep your head up! Life is not always easy but we take what we have been given and we deal. You will figure it all out, we all do!!! I am very proud of you!!!! Ysela Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 29, 2010 Report Share Posted January 29, 2010 Hello Everyone I'm so glad brought up this subject because most of us are in the same situation. Shortly after I lost my job, my husband lost his and our son was diagnosed with autism. I don't know what else could have happened to us but I'm glad we are alive and healthy. Prior to my son been diagnosed with Autism, a friend of mine shared with me a direct marketing (networking business) with Juice Plus that has been a blessing to us. I don't make what I used to make in the bank yet, but it is enough to help me to stay home and make myself available to take my son to doctor's appointment and therapies almost every day. The most important part to me as a mom is that I see great improvements in my son's development and he hardly gets sick any more (he almost neede to get ear tubes and JP builded up his immune system and there is no need for tubes because he doesn't get ear infection anymore). We don't have any family member around to help out and full time jobs are rare even if I want to try to find one. Considering every thing, been able to care for my son and building a business is another blessing and I work around his schedule. If anyone would be interested in learning more, please contact me direct at szukoski@.... All the great responses to this e-mail show that you are not alone . And thanks to 's list that allow us share our feelings and support each other. Many Blessings and good luck to all Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 29, 2010 Report Share Posted January 29, 2010 Hello Everyone I'm so glad brought up this subject because most of us are in the same situation. Shortly after I lost my job, my husband lost his and our son was diagnosed with autism. I don't know what else could have happened to us but I'm glad we are alive and healthy. Prior to my son been diagnosed with Autism, a friend of mine shared with me a direct marketing (networking business) with Juice Plus that has been a blessing to us. I don't make what I used to make in the bank yet, but it is enough to help me to stay home and make myself available to take my son to doctor's appointment and therapies almost every day. The most important part to me as a mom is that I see great improvements in my son's development and he hardly gets sick any more (he almost neede to get ear tubes and JP builded up his immune system and there is no need for tubes because he doesn't get ear infection anymore). We don't have any family member around to help out and full time jobs are rare even if I want to try to find one. Considering every thing, been able to care for my son and building a business is another blessing and I work around his schedule. If anyone would be interested in learning more, please contact me direct at szukoski@.... All the great responses to this e-mail show that you are not alone . And thanks to 's list that allow us share our feelings and support each other. Many Blessings and good luck to all Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 29, 2010 Report Share Posted January 29, 2010 Hello Everyone I'm so glad brought up this subject because most of us are in the same situation. Shortly after I lost my job, my husband lost his and our son was diagnosed with autism. I don't know what else could have happened to us but I'm glad we are alive and healthy. Prior to my son been diagnosed with Autism, a friend of mine shared with me a direct marketing (networking business) with Juice Plus that has been a blessing to us. I don't make what I used to make in the bank yet, but it is enough to help me to stay home and make myself available to take my son to doctor's appointment and therapies almost every day. The most important part to me as a mom is that I see great improvements in my son's development and he hardly gets sick any more (he almost neede to get ear tubes and JP builded up his immune system and there is no need for tubes because he doesn't get ear infection anymore). We don't have any family member around to help out and full time jobs are rare even if I want to try to find one. Considering every thing, been able to care for my son and building a business is another blessing and I work around his schedule. If anyone would be interested in learning more, please contact me direct at szukoski@.... All the great responses to this e-mail show that you are not alone . And thanks to 's list that allow us share our feelings and support each other. Many Blessings and good luck to all Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 29, 2010 Report Share Posted January 29, 2010 FROM A MOM.... it is not easy but can be done..I am a single mom..with no help with all the planning needed, medical needs, behavioral needs etc...and my ex just wants to fight and carry on .....I have a full time career as an attorney..It can be done but sometimes I am tired.and I am in a job that allows me some flexablity....I seize every moment for me that I can. ..his Dad does takes him so I do get a break periodically to catch up on house work, cleaning, shopping, laundry, paying bills ...IEP planning, my meager social life (lol) and sometimes just to sleep and lay on the couch...I take care of me when I can..if I collapse so does the whole system..My motto is to just go one day at a time...I take every moment I can for me, even if it is ten minutes at night before I fall into bed, I do something for me..read, write in a journal, a facial, thinking about anything positive from the day, skim a magazine..anything that makes you smile...at first it seems like who has 10 minutes..oh no one more thing to do... but than it becomes part of the routine and you make it time to take care of you...(even if you have to step over the laundry or leave a dish in the sink) I have to recharge, we all do...when my son was younger his grandparents helped and his caregiver has become part of my family and is devoted to my son...it does take a village...but I understand being overwhelmed, it isn't easy, but somehow all of us with challenging children find strength and fortitude that is herculean...finding the village is the hard part..and navigating it .but it can be done...feel free to contact me off the list to chat, vent or figure out when we can meet for coffee......it isn't just you...I have been there...we have all been there, there is no easy way but if at the end of the day you know you haved tried to do the best you can, with what you have,.than you are the best mom you can be... : ) To: sList Sent: Fri, January 29, 2010 10:39:13 AMSubject: Re: Re: Is it just me? and listmembers,From an Advocates point of view.... Most mothers are innovated and it's definitely not just you. If I were to give an estimate off the top of my head over half of all single moms are not able to work and also handle the very much full time job of raising their child with a disability. For example I'm in the introductions of an IEP right now as I type... how possibly could this mom be at work at 9 am... after getting her son ready for school.. prepping for the IEP... and then doing it.. she can't be. So... don't be hard on yourself... you are more of the 'norm' then an exception. Keep up the good fight and stay strong. As my son reaches adulthood I know that my ex.. his mom.. is able to handle a part time job only because she's got Dad handling all the Education planning, IEP's, incoming calls from the district as they have questions... etc. . My hat is off to all mothers who take on this job.. and the fathers that do too. Although rare.. I do get cases where it's the dad alone with his kids.. getting all kids ready for school and handling all of the work involved after is quite a job. I work from an office located within a foster/adoptive home with 5 children, 4 adopted children w/history of biological parents that used drugs during pregnancy/conceptio n which has 3 of them ASD and one C.P. ... Both parents stay at home in this case..and handle a full time job with them from about 6 am to 8 pm... So .. you're doing well E. , Sr. Nationwide Spec. Ed. Advocate/AdviserThe Office of Special Education Advocacy, Inc. " O.S.E.A. " Founder, The Office of Advocacy for Autistic Children, est.1996NOTE: OFFICE has MOVED TO CALIF...Hm/office #(530)605-3548You can also reach my Sr. Advocate and Business Manager at the Home Office # aboveCELL # *best way to reach me is by cell**BAN Illegal Restraint, Seclusion, and Arrest of Dev. Disabled** JOIN US AT: http://groups. yahoo.com/ group/EveryoneUn ited4DisabilityR eform/ http://groups. yahoo.com/ group/ParentsUni tedforSpecialEd/This electronic mail message and any attached files contain information intended for the exclusive use of the individual or entity to whom it is addressed and may contain information that is proprietary, privileged, confidential, and/or exempt from disclosure under the Electronic Communications Privacy Act, (18 U.S.C. §§ 2510-2521.) From: Aileen and Casimis <jna524yahoo (DOT) com>To: sList@ yahoogroups. comSent: Thu, January 28, 2010 1:34:29 PMSubject: Re: Re: Is it just me? , Hi I just want you to know that you are not alone & I am sorry that on a group like this people can still judge. I am a mom of 3 my oldest 17) has PDD amongst many other Dx I had him @ the young age of 18 & was a sinlge mom myself for many years prior to meeting my husband I then had my beautiful twin girls who are now 4 and one also one the spectrum. I have yet to return to the work field because it was just impossible to juggle 3 children sports, therapies 6 days a week not to mention the ongoing daily tasks of keeping up w/the house. I have attempted to work out of the house on several occasions & just wasn't able to keep up with the demands, hours, etc. not to mention that my husband is out of the country for 2 weeks a month so I feel like a single mother 90% of the time. I am hoping that once they enter Kindergarten this fall I may be able to find a p/t during school hours so that we can then focus on therapy after school which is very much needed to keep these kids on track... I pray that you will find something that works for you and your schedule but know tha tyou are NOT alone and just disregard what others say. BEcause until you are in those shoes you can't imagine what it can possible be like.. Aileen From: copswife112501 <party.of.4comcast (DOT) net>To: sList@ yahoogroups. comSent: Thu, January 28, 2010 8:49:37 AMSubject: Re: Is it just me? I had to throw my 2 cents into this mix. I run into mommies that go to the same school as my daughter, at therapy AFTER school. My daughter has additional therapy 4 days a week, again, AFTER school. I know a couple of moms that literally cannot work due to their child's disability. I actually tried working while the kids were in school, and I made myself sick. Between running them to school, running to work, running to pick them up (and they're at seperate schools across town), then running to therapy and then home to do more caretaking and keeping up the house and cooking dinner....you get the picture. It's incredibly difficult and I couldn't do it. I don't know how most mommies with special needs kids do it. Lizzie, please don't judge another mommy (especially a special needs mommy) until you've walked in her shoes.> > > >From: ewihlborgaol (DOT) com <ewihlborgaol (DOT) com>> >Subject: Is it just me?> >To: sList@ yahoogroups. com> >Date: Tuesday, January 26, 2010, 7:58 PM> >> >> > > >Hi all> >> >I wanted your opinion on these 2 matters. Is it just me? Raising a child is hard enough. Then you a Autism and health issues and that's a whole other ball game. My wonderful son is 7 years old and in first grade. Yes, he's improving day to day. He's still so far behind from other kids his age. I hate comparing him to kids his age because he is not like kids his age. On top of he fact I do not have anyone to pick him up from school, take him to doctors appointments etc I have issues with therapy. He'll have therapy but then his insurance says that we have reached the maximum benefits for the year and we have to pay out of pocket. I can not afford it. Then when the insurance kicks in we have to WAIT for an evaluation, then WAIT for appointments to get approved, So, my son hasn't received therapy in 8 months.> >> >Also, how am I suppose to find a job? I can only work when my son is in school. And I go to school 2 days a week. Yes I can work some weekends. Is it just me in this situation? Does anyone have any advice?> >> >> >> >> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 29, 2010 Report Share Posted January 29, 2010 FROM A MOM.... it is not easy but can be done..I am a single mom..with no help with all the planning needed, medical needs, behavioral needs etc...and my ex just wants to fight and carry on .....I have a full time career as an attorney..It can be done but sometimes I am tired.and I am in a job that allows me some flexablity....I seize every moment for me that I can. ..his Dad does takes him so I do get a break periodically to catch up on house work, cleaning, shopping, laundry, paying bills ...IEP planning, my meager social life (lol) and sometimes just to sleep and lay on the couch...I take care of me when I can..if I collapse so does the whole system..My motto is to just go one day at a time...I take every moment I can for me, even if it is ten minutes at night before I fall into bed, I do something for me..read, write in a journal, a facial, thinking about anything positive from the day, skim a magazine..anything that makes you smile...at first it seems like who has 10 minutes..oh no one more thing to do... but than it becomes part of the routine and you make it time to take care of you...(even if you have to step over the laundry or leave a dish in the sink) I have to recharge, we all do...when my son was younger his grandparents helped and his caregiver has become part of my family and is devoted to my son...it does take a village...but I understand being overwhelmed, it isn't easy, but somehow all of us with challenging children find strength and fortitude that is herculean...finding the village is the hard part..and navigating it .but it can be done...feel free to contact me off the list to chat, vent or figure out when we can meet for coffee......it isn't just you...I have been there...we have all been there, there is no easy way but if at the end of the day you know you haved tried to do the best you can, with what you have,.than you are the best mom you can be... : ) To: sList Sent: Fri, January 29, 2010 10:39:13 AMSubject: Re: Re: Is it just me? and listmembers,From an Advocates point of view.... Most mothers are innovated and it's definitely not just you. If I were to give an estimate off the top of my head over half of all single moms are not able to work and also handle the very much full time job of raising their child with a disability. For example I'm in the introductions of an IEP right now as I type... how possibly could this mom be at work at 9 am... after getting her son ready for school.. prepping for the IEP... and then doing it.. she can't be. So... don't be hard on yourself... you are more of the 'norm' then an exception. Keep up the good fight and stay strong. As my son reaches adulthood I know that my ex.. his mom.. is able to handle a part time job only because she's got Dad handling all the Education planning, IEP's, incoming calls from the district as they have questions... etc. . My hat is off to all mothers who take on this job.. and the fathers that do too. Although rare.. I do get cases where it's the dad alone with his kids.. getting all kids ready for school and handling all of the work involved after is quite a job. I work from an office located within a foster/adoptive home with 5 children, 4 adopted children w/history of biological parents that used drugs during pregnancy/conceptio n which has 3 of them ASD and one C.P. ... Both parents stay at home in this case..and handle a full time job with them from about 6 am to 8 pm... So .. you're doing well E. , Sr. Nationwide Spec. Ed. Advocate/AdviserThe Office of Special Education Advocacy, Inc. " O.S.E.A. " Founder, The Office of Advocacy for Autistic Children, est.1996NOTE: OFFICE has MOVED TO CALIF...Hm/office #(530)605-3548You can also reach my Sr. Advocate and Business Manager at the Home Office # aboveCELL # *best way to reach me is by cell**BAN Illegal Restraint, Seclusion, and Arrest of Dev. Disabled** JOIN US AT: http://groups. yahoo.com/ group/EveryoneUn ited4DisabilityR eform/ http://groups. yahoo.com/ group/ParentsUni tedforSpecialEd/This electronic mail message and any attached files contain information intended for the exclusive use of the individual or entity to whom it is addressed and may contain information that is proprietary, privileged, confidential, and/or exempt from disclosure under the Electronic Communications Privacy Act, (18 U.S.C. §§ 2510-2521.) From: Aileen and Casimis <jna524yahoo (DOT) com>To: sList@ yahoogroups. comSent: Thu, January 28, 2010 1:34:29 PMSubject: Re: Re: Is it just me? , Hi I just want you to know that you are not alone & I am sorry that on a group like this people can still judge. I am a mom of 3 my oldest 17) has PDD amongst many other Dx I had him @ the young age of 18 & was a sinlge mom myself for many years prior to meeting my husband I then had my beautiful twin girls who are now 4 and one also one the spectrum. I have yet to return to the work field because it was just impossible to juggle 3 children sports, therapies 6 days a week not to mention the ongoing daily tasks of keeping up w/the house. I have attempted to work out of the house on several occasions & just wasn't able to keep up with the demands, hours, etc. not to mention that my husband is out of the country for 2 weeks a month so I feel like a single mother 90% of the time. I am hoping that once they enter Kindergarten this fall I may be able to find a p/t during school hours so that we can then focus on therapy after school which is very much needed to keep these kids on track... I pray that you will find something that works for you and your schedule but know tha tyou are NOT alone and just disregard what others say. BEcause until you are in those shoes you can't imagine what it can possible be like.. Aileen From: copswife112501 <party.of.4comcast (DOT) net>To: sList@ yahoogroups. comSent: Thu, January 28, 2010 8:49:37 AMSubject: Re: Is it just me? I had to throw my 2 cents into this mix. I run into mommies that go to the same school as my daughter, at therapy AFTER school. My daughter has additional therapy 4 days a week, again, AFTER school. I know a couple of moms that literally cannot work due to their child's disability. I actually tried working while the kids were in school, and I made myself sick. Between running them to school, running to work, running to pick them up (and they're at seperate schools across town), then running to therapy and then home to do more caretaking and keeping up the house and cooking dinner....you get the picture. It's incredibly difficult and I couldn't do it. I don't know how most mommies with special needs kids do it. Lizzie, please don't judge another mommy (especially a special needs mommy) until you've walked in her shoes.> > > >From: ewihlborgaol (DOT) com <ewihlborgaol (DOT) com>> >Subject: Is it just me?> >To: sList@ yahoogroups. com> >Date: Tuesday, January 26, 2010, 7:58 PM> >> >> > > >Hi all> >> >I wanted your opinion on these 2 matters. Is it just me? Raising a child is hard enough. Then you a Autism and health issues and that's a whole other ball game. My wonderful son is 7 years old and in first grade. Yes, he's improving day to day. He's still so far behind from other kids his age. I hate comparing him to kids his age because he is not like kids his age. On top of he fact I do not have anyone to pick him up from school, take him to doctors appointments etc I have issues with therapy. He'll have therapy but then his insurance says that we have reached the maximum benefits for the year and we have to pay out of pocket. I can not afford it. Then when the insurance kicks in we have to WAIT for an evaluation, then WAIT for appointments to get approved, So, my son hasn't received therapy in 8 months.> >> >Also, how am I suppose to find a job? I can only work when my son is in school. And I go to school 2 days a week. Yes I can work some weekends. Is it just me in this situation? Does anyone have any advice?> >> >> >> >> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 29, 2010 Report Share Posted January 29, 2010 FROM A MOM.... it is not easy but can be done..I am a single mom..with no help with all the planning needed, medical needs, behavioral needs etc...and my ex just wants to fight and carry on .....I have a full time career as an attorney..It can be done but sometimes I am tired.and I am in a job that allows me some flexablity....I seize every moment for me that I can. ..his Dad does takes him so I do get a break periodically to catch up on house work, cleaning, shopping, laundry, paying bills ...IEP planning, my meager social life (lol) and sometimes just to sleep and lay on the couch...I take care of me when I can..if I collapse so does the whole system..My motto is to just go one day at a time...I take every moment I can for me, even if it is ten minutes at night before I fall into bed, I do something for me..read, write in a journal, a facial, thinking about anything positive from the day, skim a magazine..anything that makes you smile...at first it seems like who has 10 minutes..oh no one more thing to do... but than it becomes part of the routine and you make it time to take care of you...(even if you have to step over the laundry or leave a dish in the sink) I have to recharge, we all do...when my son was younger his grandparents helped and his caregiver has become part of my family and is devoted to my son...it does take a village...but I understand being overwhelmed, it isn't easy, but somehow all of us with challenging children find strength and fortitude that is herculean...finding the village is the hard part..and navigating it .but it can be done...feel free to contact me off the list to chat, vent or figure out when we can meet for coffee......it isn't just you...I have been there...we have all been there, there is no easy way but if at the end of the day you know you haved tried to do the best you can, with what you have,.than you are the best mom you can be... : ) To: sList Sent: Fri, January 29, 2010 10:39:13 AMSubject: Re: Re: Is it just me? and listmembers,From an Advocates point of view.... Most mothers are innovated and it's definitely not just you. If I were to give an estimate off the top of my head over half of all single moms are not able to work and also handle the very much full time job of raising their child with a disability. For example I'm in the introductions of an IEP right now as I type... how possibly could this mom be at work at 9 am... after getting her son ready for school.. prepping for the IEP... and then doing it.. she can't be. So... don't be hard on yourself... you are more of the 'norm' then an exception. Keep up the good fight and stay strong. As my son reaches adulthood I know that my ex.. his mom.. is able to handle a part time job only because she's got Dad handling all the Education planning, IEP's, incoming calls from the district as they have questions... etc. . My hat is off to all mothers who take on this job.. and the fathers that do too. Although rare.. I do get cases where it's the dad alone with his kids.. getting all kids ready for school and handling all of the work involved after is quite a job. I work from an office located within a foster/adoptive home with 5 children, 4 adopted children w/history of biological parents that used drugs during pregnancy/conceptio n which has 3 of them ASD and one C.P. ... Both parents stay at home in this case..and handle a full time job with them from about 6 am to 8 pm... So .. you're doing well E. , Sr. Nationwide Spec. Ed. Advocate/AdviserThe Office of Special Education Advocacy, Inc. " O.S.E.A. " Founder, The Office of Advocacy for Autistic Children, est.1996NOTE: OFFICE has MOVED TO CALIF...Hm/office #(530)605-3548You can also reach my Sr. Advocate and Business Manager at the Home Office # aboveCELL # *best way to reach me is by cell**BAN Illegal Restraint, Seclusion, and Arrest of Dev. Disabled** JOIN US AT: http://groups. yahoo.com/ group/EveryoneUn ited4DisabilityR eform/ http://groups. yahoo.com/ group/ParentsUni tedforSpecialEd/This electronic mail message and any attached files contain information intended for the exclusive use of the individual or entity to whom it is addressed and may contain information that is proprietary, privileged, confidential, and/or exempt from disclosure under the Electronic Communications Privacy Act, (18 U.S.C. §§ 2510-2521.) From: Aileen and Casimis <jna524yahoo (DOT) com>To: sList@ yahoogroups. comSent: Thu, January 28, 2010 1:34:29 PMSubject: Re: Re: Is it just me? , Hi I just want you to know that you are not alone & I am sorry that on a group like this people can still judge. I am a mom of 3 my oldest 17) has PDD amongst many other Dx I had him @ the young age of 18 & was a sinlge mom myself for many years prior to meeting my husband I then had my beautiful twin girls who are now 4 and one also one the spectrum. I have yet to return to the work field because it was just impossible to juggle 3 children sports, therapies 6 days a week not to mention the ongoing daily tasks of keeping up w/the house. I have attempted to work out of the house on several occasions & just wasn't able to keep up with the demands, hours, etc. not to mention that my husband is out of the country for 2 weeks a month so I feel like a single mother 90% of the time. I am hoping that once they enter Kindergarten this fall I may be able to find a p/t during school hours so that we can then focus on therapy after school which is very much needed to keep these kids on track... I pray that you will find something that works for you and your schedule but know tha tyou are NOT alone and just disregard what others say. BEcause until you are in those shoes you can't imagine what it can possible be like.. Aileen From: copswife112501 <party.of.4comcast (DOT) net>To: sList@ yahoogroups. comSent: Thu, January 28, 2010 8:49:37 AMSubject: Re: Is it just me? I had to throw my 2 cents into this mix. I run into mommies that go to the same school as my daughter, at therapy AFTER school. My daughter has additional therapy 4 days a week, again, AFTER school. I know a couple of moms that literally cannot work due to their child's disability. I actually tried working while the kids were in school, and I made myself sick. Between running them to school, running to work, running to pick them up (and they're at seperate schools across town), then running to therapy and then home to do more caretaking and keeping up the house and cooking dinner....you get the picture. It's incredibly difficult and I couldn't do it. I don't know how most mommies with special needs kids do it. Lizzie, please don't judge another mommy (especially a special needs mommy) until you've walked in her shoes.> > > >From: ewihlborgaol (DOT) com <ewihlborgaol (DOT) com>> >Subject: Is it just me?> >To: sList@ yahoogroups. com> >Date: Tuesday, January 26, 2010, 7:58 PM> >> >> > > >Hi all> >> >I wanted your opinion on these 2 matters. Is it just me? Raising a child is hard enough. Then you a Autism and health issues and that's a whole other ball game. My wonderful son is 7 years old and in first grade. Yes, he's improving day to day. He's still so far behind from other kids his age. I hate comparing him to kids his age because he is not like kids his age. On top of he fact I do not have anyone to pick him up from school, take him to doctors appointments etc I have issues with therapy. He'll have therapy but then his insurance says that we have reached the maximum benefits for the year and we have to pay out of pocket. I can not afford it. Then when the insurance kicks in we have to WAIT for an evaluation, then WAIT for appointments to get approved, So, my son hasn't received therapy in 8 months.> >> >Also, how am I suppose to find a job? I can only work when my son is in school. And I go to school 2 days a week. Yes I can work some weekends. Is it just me in this situation? Does anyone have any advice?> >> >> >> >> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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