Keeping children intuitive

[Guest guest]

Recently, there was a conversation on here about allowing children to eat what

they are craving in order to demystify forbidden foods and keep them intuitive

eaters. I use the phrase " keep them " because I think children are naturally

intuitive eaters, and it's usually later in life that we get all mixed up.

However, this concept of letting kids eat whatever really conflicts with my

philosophy as a mom. I need some advice on how to make some small changes with

my children while still being true to that.

I am a single mom of a 5 year old and 3 year old. I am not very structured in

most ways, but since they were born I have been structured with their sleep and

with their food because it makes them and me happier. I believe that as the

parent I am the one in charge and the one who knows best, and so I am the one

who says when it is bedtime and what's for dinner. If I make baked ziti for

dinner, I'm not going to then make mac and cheese for my son and peanut butter

and jelly for my daughter because that's what they would prefer. I like to

introduce them to different foods, and I insist that they at least try

everything and eat a reasonable amount before they can have something sweet for

dessert. They wanted me to buy some super sugary cereals and I did, but instead

of eating them for breakfast I insist we eat them at snack time because I don't

think those cereals make for a " complete breakfast. " I try to always ask them,

" Are you hungry? " and " Are you full? " instead of insisting they finish what is

on their plates. The other thing is both of my kids are small and could stand

to gain weight (because both sides of the family are small), but I don't want to

get them expecting processed junk food either. Left to their own decisions, I

know my son would overeat on fruit which causes him to have diarrhea. I am

careful how much fruit he eats for that reason.

I know that how we are raised sets us up for our relationship with food. I

think my mom's example of emotional eating and her insecurities with herself

were a part of my eating struggles, but more so it was the peer pressures to be

thin that made food into the enemy. I don't think I got into a bad

relationship with food because I had to finish everything on my plate before I

was allowed dessert growing up or because my mom would never let us have Lucky

Charms. Maybe I am wrong?

I am wondering what the rest of you feel is the best approach with children?

Any thoughts are appreciated!