nightmare after X'mas

[Guest guest]

It's not thaaat bad. Hopefully will not be worst than this.

Day 1) Nada arrived on the X'mas day.

She was OK, had a nice trip and didn't complain of things as I thought before.

Thanks God my forecast of her state of mind arrival was a mistake.

Her " boyfriend " (a married old man which whom she has a relationship for more

than 20 years!)

went to the airport too and we all had coffee together. He left to his home.

Nada, my husband and me cooked at home. Quiet nice evening.

Day 2) Spent all day shopping and cooking at home. Quiet pleasant day

but I needed to " swallow " some of her strange behaviours.

I get very irritated with most of things she does or say.

Nada learned to open/close the apartment and use the microwave today.

It's very difficult for her to learn anything new. It's necessary lots of

pacience to explain her things

and this also makes me very tired to be with her too.

Day 3) Went to work with my husband. Nada stayed at home alone for the 1st time

since arrival.

Her boyfriend called while I was working to say he's going to visit her at my

home.

First I said OK, then later I told him to forget today because Nada doesn't know

how to open the entrance door

from the interphone painel inside the apartment. There's a gate that he can't go

in without a key or someone to open from inside.

Every little thing is a such big thing to her to learn that I forgot to explain

about the interphone on the day before.

He started to say how she doesn't know a such simple thing and bla bla bla, I

was busy at that moment, he was inconvenient

calling me while I'm working then I lost my temper with him over the phone.

I told him to not go there 'cause I didn't want he sneaking in the blg. when

someone else enter the apartment and

didn't want my mother yelling to him from inside the apartment if she finds

problem to open the door (it's a bit trick).

I got pretty irritated after talk to him and this feeling folllow me all day

long.

I came back home and found out that he went there and the gas system was

switched off so Nada didn't have shower because

no hot water. She said she didn't do anything and that he might have switched

off the system. Later on I discovered she lied to me.

Nada does another thing very that irritates me too: she can't see a

single little light of any device on that she finds a way to

switch off the light to save energy. And explain her that those small lights

doesn't consume much and somethings need to be switched on ALL the time like the

gas system = doesn't work...she doen't understand.

Thinking only about it, it's not a reason to blow up but... I did. I flipped

out. I never saw my husband almost crying to stop me.

I started screamming at her, ordering her to not touch things she doesn't know

in my house, that I hate her " boyfriend " , that I spent my time I should be

working doing things for her, then she started to pack her things to leave.

A 75y/o with 1 big and 1 small suitcases leaving in a winter night (almost

midnight) and didn't want even to take her coat.

I called a nearby hotel and booked a room, she refused to go.

I told her I would call the police to bring her back if she leaves like that and

she started to loose her temper.

Both of us was flipping out and calming down in random in a matter of minutes

and I just feel very sorry for my dear husband for see and deal with all of it.

He told me to leave the room to calm down her so I had a shower where I cried a

lot.

Nada still wanted to leave my apartment anyway saying I was kicking out a sick

and old mother + same bla bla bla in these occasions.

I got tired and just stopped to talk to her, she moved all her things out of the

apartment and in the entrance she wanted to handle back the apartment key but

she coudn't find. She stayed an hour or so looking for the key, my husband said

" you can't leave our apartment without give back the key, so better you have

some sleep and look for it tomorrow " .

She calmed down, I show her how to use her new pre paid mobile.

I told her if she wanted a sleeping pill as I would take 1 for myself, she

wanted, I gave half of 1 to her and everybody went to sleep.

After my husband told me he took out the key without her notice because he was

worried she would do something crazy and could loose our spare key with the

address written in another paper.(the key wasn't together the paper but...)

This morning we wake up to work, I left earlier than my husband, he returned our

spare key to her bag and left her sleeping.

I called many times her mobile that she just learned how to use but she didn't

pick up. I don't if she didn't listen or if she forgots how to use or if she did

something crazy and I'm just writting during my working time when in fact I

should be working instead of being worried and tired of all of this.Plus, who

knows what I will face when I go back tonight?

And...I've been worried about her but...am I crazy too ?? Now I'm worried about

myself and my poor husband.

I'm a shame to let my husband see me so out of control, I hate to loose control

of things but, recently, small things gets my nerves!

I work with other 3 people (1 boss too young to have alzheimer but sounds like

this , 1 nutty and only 1 " normal " and kind sweet heart)

so after a stressfull day, I have my husband to soothing me but now I have Nada

to top on it.

How can I get more patience now?

What do you think about of this? any suggestions?

Thank you to read all of this ...