feeling depressed

[Guest guest]

He everyone happy holidays !! I have had 30 years of dieting. I bought the book

IE read it and now feel depressed and I just don't know what is happening to me

.. Diet high is gone and I feel fat and don't want to exercise . I can't afford

counseling ( no insurance and low paying job ) I feel stuck !!!!! It's been a

little over 1 month now , which is nothing compared to 30 years. What do I do ?

Where do I start ? What's going on with me ? I'm also a member of AA and that

program is strong. I have tried OA and counseling ( very intense counseling )

for years . Is there anyone out there that can help me ? I have read some of the

post's here and joined this group about 1 month ago and this is my 1st post.

Change is hard and I feel hopeless in this area , or maybe I'm not willing to

accept the fact that I will be this size 8 very comfortable 10 I have no energy

and I'm uncomfortable.

I know diets don't work they wreck my thinking !!!! I don't know how to think in

this area I've thought diet head for 30 years .. I have planned food for 30

years ! It's so weird to not think like that anymore that I don't know what to

think !! I still think of food but no planning etc. behind it .. HOWEVER - The

last 2 nights t I have had thoughts of tomorrow I will diet so I feel like I'm

falling backwards..I'm sorry to have written such a long drawn all over the

place post these are my feelings and I'm not to sure what to do ...Thanks