Weight, discomfort, mindfulness

[Guest guest]

Hi, everyone!

I'm going to try to pay more attention to my hunger and fullness levels

when I eat. I'm in the process of trying to make peace with food, and at

the moment I'm not feeling very peaceful! I've gained so much weight

(haven't weighed myself, but it's obvious) that I feel really

uncomfortable. I have a hiatal hernia and severe acid reflux, and lately

most of the time I'm feeling a slight sense of queasiness, when I'm not

having downright pain. I'm on a very effective medication for it, but

now the symptoms are overcoming the effects of the medication. When I

eat smaller amounts, it's better. When I weigh less, it's a lot better.

I also feel more awkward moving and exercising. I've kept exercising,

but it's getting harder.

I keep reassuring myself that I'm on the right track, that I'm free of

all the rules I used to feel guilty about not following, and that my

body and mind will find balance eventually. I know I'm done with dieting

forever, and that's a good thing! But I think the time has come to focus

a little bit more on letting myself get hungry before I eat and nudging

myself to stop when I'm satisfied. I'm not going to do this rigidly,

though -- rigidity gets my diet rebel aroused like nothing else!. But I

can't go on feeling worse and worse -- it just seems kind of

counterproductive to me.

Thanks for listening and for being there.

Sue