Best day of my life is when Nada went 5150 and almost locked her up!

January 15, 2011

5150 is CA code for " involuntary psych. 28 day lock up. " Her Dr's and I were

headed down that path. At the last minute we decided NOT to but they offered me

unlimited and ongoing therapy to reclaim my life away from her - FOR FREE!

I almost said, " No.... "

But that little voice - long sense lost in the web of BPD-ness on the KO -

screamed loudly, " This is IT!!! If you say " No " there will NEVEREVEREVER be

another time like this. SAVE ME! "

So I said, " Yes. "

And I threw myself into it, weekly, hardcore... for 2+ years. By week 3

therapist introduced me to BPD and I was absolved of responsiblity of her

actions. Forever. Took me years to own ME ... but now I do.

I'm still shakey... she still " does her crazy " but I no longer own it... I may

be occasionally impacted and 'feel' it but it's not my demon. My curse. My

problem.

I am only responsible for me.

We can all get here... don't worry if you're not here yet... don't think it's

easy. It's always 2 steps forward, one step back. Believe me... my journey is

here - on this board. But it IS possible to wake up and not think about 'what

will I do today that will cause her to ____? And how can I move everything in

the world so she'll be happy? " Those thoughts are long gone.... good riddance.

So I may have 'my moments' where she's hit one over the fence and I get bonked

on the head... but they're HER balls and I no longer own the pain or feel like I

deserve it. I just put it down and walk off.

So... in hindsight... best day of my life was the day Nada went full blown

CRAZY!

May we all dance to our own music.

Lynnette

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