Re: yes, its abuse (was: No Subject)

[Guest guest]

OMG Hope!!! I wish I could go back in time and get you out of there.

Yeah, I remember that feeling of praying to make it through the night

because you can't breath due to the cats.

I bet you've never had a cat either. They are beautiful animals but I can't

have one.

I'm sorry. Wow - these nadas are something else. Girlscout is speechless.

On Wed, Jan 26, 2011 at 6:14 PM, anuria67854 wrote:

>

>

> Good Lord. I just honestly can't comprehend a mother that would so

> seriously damage her child's health like that, AND THEN when your lungs are

> like swiss cheese, still claim that you were just faking being ill to get

> attention. I-- Its--- That's just so blatantly off-the-scale abusive and

> criminally insane... my mind is boggled.

>

> What boggles my mind even more is that the doctors who treated you

> repeatedly and SAW the physical damage never reported your mother for child

> endangerment. WTF!!?

>

> Your lungs were so badly damaged that you developed freaking HOLES IN YOUR

> LUNGS from the chronic exposure to animal dander and hair. You could have

> DIED, girl.

>

> I. Just. Don't. Get. It.

>

> If an adult at their work location is chronically exposed to chemical fumes

> or particulants that cause lung damage, the employer is responsible BY LAW

> for providing that employee with the safety equipment needed to protect the

> employee's health or the employer would be liable for an expensive lawsuit.

> (I'm thinking about places like furniture factories where there is a lot of

> varnish fumes and sawdust in the air, or a paper mill, or a quarry with lots

> of stone dust, etc.)

>

> Adults can sue for negligence and mistreatment and find recompense. But

> little children are allowed to just suffer chronic mistreatment, and endure

> pain and permanent damage from neglect and abuse...

> and... nothing is done about it.

>

> Its not right, I tell you.

>

> (I'd like to serve your nada a big, steaming plate of cat poop and make her

> eat all of it. Poor nada.)

>

> -Annie

>

>

> >

> > Wow!! Never knew that anyone could relate to my situation--i continue to

> be

> > amazed at the similarities with KO BPD's experiences. I grew up being

> pretty

> > regular as far as a bed until the age of 15 when my parents divorced. we

> moved

> > into a house that my grandfather owned and i had my same bed from

> childhood

> > except that it was falling apart by this point. That would have been

> > alright----my problem was THE CATS my nada collected. I have severe

> allergies

> > and asthma and my nada was told by several doctors at appointments to

> never have

> > me around animal dander. After my parents divorced my nada rescued 3 cats

> and

> > they lived with us my senior year of high school. My nada was never the

> neatest

> > housekeeper but after my parents divorced she was just plain filthy. I

> always

> > thought that if CPS could have seen our home they would have died. The

> cats

> > destroyed the house---using the couch as a scratching post and generally

> our

> > house as their landfill. What i remember about my bed at that house was

> how my

> > mom let the cats pee and poop under my bed and sometimes on my sheets. I

> never

> > knew what i find in there. Poop, Urine, Vomit Hairballs---that was where

> i

> > slept. I hardly ever had friends over (except my 2 closest who knew my

> nada was

> > nuts)---i was too embarrassed of my living conditions and it smelled too

> bad. I

> > remember one time-i couldn't breathe and my inhaler wasn't providing

> relief and

> > so i went to the ER. My mom was furious after i told the doctor we had

> cats(he

> > asked me and i was honest)! She yelled at me when he left the room-told

> me i was

> > a big faker and that i was doing all of that for attention. I told her we

> needed

> > to get rid of the cats for my health and she told me she wasn't getting

> rid of

> > them and I COULD LEAVE if i didn't like it. I couldn't help i had asthma

> and

> > severe allergies. I remember going to bed at night and praying that God

> would

> > keep me breathing through one more night until i could go to college.

> Ahhh-this

> > makes me cry now---i have 2 kids and i could NEVER imagine neglected them

> in

> > this way! Being a parent has really given me proper perspective on how

> neglected

> > i was for so long. When i left for college---i had a pulmonologist

> examine my

> > lungs and i had such severe damage that i had developed some holes in the

>

> > tissues of my lungs. It has taken years of healing and proper medication

> to gain

> > healthy breathing back and i take 10 allergy shots a week. She still

> won't take

> > responsibility for any of her actions rregarding my health and i asked

> her if

> > she knew then what she knows now about my asthma would she have gotten

> rid of

> > the cats---her response--- " no, i wouldn't change a thing-i would do it

> all

> > again(keeping the cats)! She still denies my asthma. OUCH, now that's

> hurtful!!!

> > Thanks for letting me vent.....

> > ~Hope

> >

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

Marilyn, that is so horrific =( I am so so so sorry this happened to you.

How... wow, just simply awful. No words, just sadness.

Mia

>

[Guest guest]

Marilyn, that is so horrific =( I am so so so sorry this happened to you.

How... wow, just simply awful. No words, just sadness.

Mia

>

[Guest guest]

Its just so damned sad, and so sickening, that you had to endure sadistic abuse

like that for so many years and that it damaged your body so badly. Holy

Freaking Cow. Yes, your own mother apparently robbed you of the chance to give

birth, yourself, and that's just criminal.

Your mother was clearly way too mentally ill to have been raising a child; you

were literally tortured and injured repeatedly. According to what I've read,

that kind of unspeakable cruelty is indicative of psychopathy: " ...Above all,

argues Pearson (1997), these (psychopathic) women got away with their crimes for

years because so few of us are willing to acknowledge that women are as capable

of cool and calculating brutality as men are, again relying on the myth that

females are incapable of such monstrosities. "

Good Lord, I am so sorry you had to endure that; you poor damned little kid.

There's just no way to prevent this and other similar reprehensible abuses from

being inflicted on other small children unless there is more public awareness

about mental illness, and unless neighbors and spouses and other family members

and the freaking mandated reporters: the doctors, nurses and teachers, are

willing to step in when they suspect abuse is going on, and ask some questions,

and report even suspected child abuse.

I think the children themselves as young as possible need to be educated about

what is and is not normal, mentally healthy behavior.

I'm so, so sorry that happened to you. Its so not fair.

For a fascinating article on female psychopathy:

Perri, S. and Lichtenwald, Terrance G. (2010). " The Last Frontier: Myths &

The Female Psychopathic Killer, " `'Forensic Examiner'', 19:2, 50-67.

-Annie

>

> My nada from the age of 2 until I was old enough to run away from her and lock

the bathroom door from the inside would bring in a kitchen knife and cut off two

very thick slivers of Ivory soap from the bar on the sink; pull down my panties;

ask if I did " #1 or #2 " and then say 'no one can wash you like your MOTHER can "

and proceed to stick her big thick fingers up my anus along with one of the soap

slivers and then stick her big, thick fingers up my tiny vagina two at a time

while she inserted the other thick soap sliver as deeply as she could. I would

scream out in pain, but nada would ignore that and just keep smiling and doing

that to me. It wouldn't matter if I said I did or didn't do #1 or #2. If I did

#1 before she cleaned me, this was 'permitted' but if I had to do " #2 " this was

NOT permitted and nada would hit me.

>

> I wound up at the age of 12 when I menustrated for the first time hemorraging

so badly that I bled right through a thick washcloth that nada had me insert in

my panties down the front of my slacks. I was mortified to go to the hospital

emergency room that way, but nada took me there fearing I was bleeding to death.

The E.R. doctor told nada I had to get in a hospital gown and asked me to lay

down and put my feet up in the silver stirrups. He wore rubber gloves and a

light on his head. He examined me of course and then told nada he had to speak

to her right away as she waited on the other side of the curtain from me. I

heard him say that he had NO idea how this happened. He had never seen a young

virginal girl so scarred on her left ovary as I had been and because of that I

would never be able to conceive as an adult. He was right. I never was able to

do conceive. My now ex and I tried to have a child, but I couldn't. I was

afraid to tell him why and too ashamed (though he always 'blamed' me). That

didn't cause our divorce, but it certainly caused problems in our marriage. To

this day on holidays such as Mother's Day; Christmas and other holidays

involving families and children, I feel empty and feel she stole that form me.

By now I would have had grandchildren, but unless they're step-grandchildren, I

will never have my own now of course.

>

> I think what happened to you is absolutely horrible as well. There is nothing

we can do about any of it now, but it certainly doesn't make me love my nada as

I'm sure you don't love yours any more than I do mine.

>

> I agree that our nadas were sick, twisted, abusive (pardon my French) bitches

and they got away with it leaving us hurt for life. Something has to be done

and society needs to understand BPD so other children do not have to suffer as

we did.

>

>

[Guest guest]

Its just so damned sad, and so sickening, that you had to endure sadistic abuse

like that for so many years and that it damaged your body so badly. Holy

Freaking Cow. Yes, your own mother apparently robbed you of the chance to give

birth, yourself, and that's just criminal.

Your mother was clearly way too mentally ill to have been raising a child; you

were literally tortured and injured repeatedly. According to what I've read,

that kind of unspeakable cruelty is indicative of psychopathy: " ...Above all,

argues Pearson (1997), these (psychopathic) women got away with their crimes for

years because so few of us are willing to acknowledge that women are as capable

of cool and calculating brutality as men are, again relying on the myth that

females are incapable of such monstrosities. "

Good Lord, I am so sorry you had to endure that; you poor damned little kid.

There's just no way to prevent this and other similar reprehensible abuses from

being inflicted on other small children unless there is more public awareness

about mental illness, and unless neighbors and spouses and other family members

and the freaking mandated reporters: the doctors, nurses and teachers, are

willing to step in when they suspect abuse is going on, and ask some questions,

and report even suspected child abuse.

I think the children themselves as young as possible need to be educated about

what is and is not normal, mentally healthy behavior.

I'm so, so sorry that happened to you. Its so not fair.

For a fascinating article on female psychopathy:

Perri, S. and Lichtenwald, Terrance G. (2010). " The Last Frontier: Myths &

The Female Psychopathic Killer, " `'Forensic Examiner'', 19:2, 50-67.

-Annie

>

> My nada from the age of 2 until I was old enough to run away from her and lock

the bathroom door from the inside would bring in a kitchen knife and cut off two

very thick slivers of Ivory soap from the bar on the sink; pull down my panties;

ask if I did " #1 or #2 " and then say 'no one can wash you like your MOTHER can "

and proceed to stick her big thick fingers up my anus along with one of the soap

slivers and then stick her big, thick fingers up my tiny vagina two at a time

while she inserted the other thick soap sliver as deeply as she could. I would

scream out in pain, but nada would ignore that and just keep smiling and doing

that to me. It wouldn't matter if I said I did or didn't do #1 or #2. If I did

#1 before she cleaned me, this was 'permitted' but if I had to do " #2 " this was

NOT permitted and nada would hit me.

>

> I wound up at the age of 12 when I menustrated for the first time hemorraging

so badly that I bled right through a thick washcloth that nada had me insert in

my panties down the front of my slacks. I was mortified to go to the hospital

emergency room that way, but nada took me there fearing I was bleeding to death.

The E.R. doctor told nada I had to get in a hospital gown and asked me to lay

down and put my feet up in the silver stirrups. He wore rubber gloves and a

light on his head. He examined me of course and then told nada he had to speak

to her right away as she waited on the other side of the curtain from me. I

heard him say that he had NO idea how this happened. He had never seen a young

virginal girl so scarred on her left ovary as I had been and because of that I

would never be able to conceive as an adult. He was right. I never was able to

do conceive. My now ex and I tried to have a child, but I couldn't. I was

afraid to tell him why and too ashamed (though he always 'blamed' me). That

didn't cause our divorce, but it certainly caused problems in our marriage. To

this day on holidays such as Mother's Day; Christmas and other holidays

involving families and children, I feel empty and feel she stole that form me.

By now I would have had grandchildren, but unless they're step-grandchildren, I

will never have my own now of course.

>

> I think what happened to you is absolutely horrible as well. There is nothing

we can do about any of it now, but it certainly doesn't make me love my nada as

I'm sure you don't love yours any more than I do mine.

>

> I agree that our nadas were sick, twisted, abusive (pardon my French) bitches

and they got away with it leaving us hurt for life. Something has to be done

and society needs to understand BPD so other children do not have to suffer as

we did.

>

>

[Guest guest]

Its just so damned sad, and so sickening, that you had to endure sadistic abuse

like that for so many years and that it damaged your body so badly. Holy

Freaking Cow. Yes, your own mother apparently robbed you of the chance to give

birth, yourself, and that's just criminal.

Your mother was clearly way too mentally ill to have been raising a child; you

were literally tortured and injured repeatedly. According to what I've read,

that kind of unspeakable cruelty is indicative of psychopathy: " ...Above all,

argues Pearson (1997), these (psychopathic) women got away with their crimes for

years because so few of us are willing to acknowledge that women are as capable

of cool and calculating brutality as men are, again relying on the myth that

females are incapable of such monstrosities. "

Good Lord, I am so sorry you had to endure that; you poor damned little kid.

There's just no way to prevent this and other similar reprehensible abuses from

being inflicted on other small children unless there is more public awareness

about mental illness, and unless neighbors and spouses and other family members

and the freaking mandated reporters: the doctors, nurses and teachers, are

willing to step in when they suspect abuse is going on, and ask some questions,

and report even suspected child abuse.

I think the children themselves as young as possible need to be educated about

what is and is not normal, mentally healthy behavior.

I'm so, so sorry that happened to you. Its so not fair.

For a fascinating article on female psychopathy:

Perri, S. and Lichtenwald, Terrance G. (2010). " The Last Frontier: Myths &

The Female Psychopathic Killer, " `'Forensic Examiner'', 19:2, 50-67.

-Annie

>

> My nada from the age of 2 until I was old enough to run away from her and lock

the bathroom door from the inside would bring in a kitchen knife and cut off two

very thick slivers of Ivory soap from the bar on the sink; pull down my panties;

ask if I did " #1 or #2 " and then say 'no one can wash you like your MOTHER can "

and proceed to stick her big thick fingers up my anus along with one of the soap

slivers and then stick her big, thick fingers up my tiny vagina two at a time

while she inserted the other thick soap sliver as deeply as she could. I would

scream out in pain, but nada would ignore that and just keep smiling and doing

that to me. It wouldn't matter if I said I did or didn't do #1 or #2. If I did

#1 before she cleaned me, this was 'permitted' but if I had to do " #2 " this was

NOT permitted and nada would hit me.

>

> I wound up at the age of 12 when I menustrated for the first time hemorraging

so badly that I bled right through a thick washcloth that nada had me insert in

my panties down the front of my slacks. I was mortified to go to the hospital

emergency room that way, but nada took me there fearing I was bleeding to death.

The E.R. doctor told nada I had to get in a hospital gown and asked me to lay

down and put my feet up in the silver stirrups. He wore rubber gloves and a

light on his head. He examined me of course and then told nada he had to speak

to her right away as she waited on the other side of the curtain from me. I

heard him say that he had NO idea how this happened. He had never seen a young

virginal girl so scarred on her left ovary as I had been and because of that I

would never be able to conceive as an adult. He was right. I never was able to

do conceive. My now ex and I tried to have a child, but I couldn't. I was

afraid to tell him why and too ashamed (though he always 'blamed' me). That

didn't cause our divorce, but it certainly caused problems in our marriage. To

this day on holidays such as Mother's Day; Christmas and other holidays

involving families and children, I feel empty and feel she stole that form me.

By now I would have had grandchildren, but unless they're step-grandchildren, I

will never have my own now of course.

>

> I think what happened to you is absolutely horrible as well. There is nothing

we can do about any of it now, but it certainly doesn't make me love my nada as

I'm sure you don't love yours any more than I do mine.

>

> I agree that our nadas were sick, twisted, abusive (pardon my French) bitches

and they got away with it leaving us hurt for life. Something has to be done

and society needs to understand BPD so other children do not have to suffer as

we did.

>

>

[Guest guest]

Oh my God Marilyn, I do not have the words to describe the horrible sexual abuse

your nada put you through. It made me cry for you and I feel sick. I am so, so

sorry that happened to you.

It disgusts me how our society stigmatizes mental illness like it's not a real

disease. I hope that we'll get to a point where the system works and parents

with BPD will be removed from caring for their families until they are capable

of doing so.

Here's hoping that you get everything you need to become your true self!

BostonChic

>

> My nada from the age of 2 until I was old enough to run away from her and lock

the bathroom door from the inside would bring in a kitchen knife and cut off two

very thick slivers of Ivory soap from the bar on the sink; pull down my panties;

ask if I did " #1 or #2 " and then say 'no one can wash you like your MOTHER can "

and proceed to stick her big thick fingers up my anus along with one of the soap

slivers and then stick her big, thick fingers up my tiny vagina two at a time

while she inserted the other thick soap sliver as deeply as she could. I would

scream out in pain, but nada would ignore that and just keep smiling and doing

that to me. It wouldn't matter if I said I did or didn't do #1 or #2. If I did

#1 before she cleaned me, this was 'permitted' but if I had to do " #2 " this was

NOT permitted and nada would hit me.

>

> I wound up at the age of 12 when I menustrated for the first time hemorraging

so badly that I bled right through a thick washcloth that nada had me insert in

my panties down the front of my slacks. I was mortified to go to the hospital

emergency room that way, but nada took me there fearing I was bleeding to death.

The E.R. doctor told nada I had to get in a hospital gown and asked me to lay

down and put my feet up in the silver stirrups. He wore rubber gloves and a

light on his head. He examined me of course and then told nada he had to speak

to her right away as she waited on the other side of the curtain from me. I

heard him say that he had NO idea how this happened. He had never seen a young

virginal girl so scarred on her left ovary as I had been and because of that I

would never be able to conceive as an adult. He was right. I never was able to

do conceive. My now ex and I tried to have a child, but I couldn't. I was

afraid to tell him why and too ashamed (though he always 'blamed' me). That

didn't cause our divorce, but it certainly caused problems in our marriage. To

this day on holidays such as Mother's Day; Christmas and other holidays

involving families and children, I feel empty and feel she stole that form me.

By now I would have had grandchildren, but unless they're step-grandchildren, I

will never have my own now of course.

>

> I think what happened to you is absolutely horrible as well. There is nothing

we can do about any of it now, but it certainly doesn't make me love my nada as

I'm sure you don't love yours any more than I do mine.

>

> I agree that our nadas were sick, twisted, abusive (pardon my French) bitches

and they got away with it leaving us hurt for life. Something has to be done

and society needs to understand BPD so other children do not have to suffer as

we did.

>

>