Re: Anyone struggle with agoraphobia?

[Guest guest]

I also struggle with agoraphobia. Going to parties, any time I need to go

someplace new is fearful, almost crippling event for me (even funerals, lunches

with coworkers). It is getting worse as I am aging. The coping skills I used as

a young adult don't fly anymore.

Additionally, any occasion where I feel compelled to invite people over is

horribly stressful: I am so afraid of being judged and found inferior.

And yes,I learned this at nada's knee: my nada was in waif mode most of my early

life. She couldn't eat out (people would see her!), never voluntarily went to a

social function and would freak, yell and mutter for hours getting ready for the

social functions she HAD to attend (even church and doctor appts). It was awful!

>

> I'm finally realizing that I am agoraphobic. I think I suspected it for a

while but didn't want to admit it or face it.

>

> * I'm afraid to drive to places I'm not familiar with

> * I'm terrified of the highways/freeways/bridges

> * I'm afraid of going out with people I don't know that well to places I don't

know my way back from

> * I don't like going out after it's dark

> * If I am forced to do any of these things, my body responds like it's under a

great stress: heart racing, sweating...I put on the act that everything's ok,

but I don't enjoy the experience and become all business, just frantic and eager

to go home

>

> And on and on. I hate to blame everything down to the corns on my toes on my

mother but...it's her fault. Seriously, I was not allowed to go out for

anything that I might have enjoyed. I couldn't go to my prom because something

bad might happen. I couldn't go to sleepovers because I'd turn into a lesbian

(please don't be offended anyone; truly, that was her reasoning). I grew up in

a major city and am terrified of trying to find my way around it.

>

> Sigh. I hate depending on my husband and other people to cart me around.

>

> I'd appreciate any insight from others who've been/are going through this.

It's affecting my social life and life in general.

>

> Fiona

>

[Guest guest]

The book I read, I don't seem to have anymore; this happened over 20 years ago!

But here's one that got good customer reviews, and the blurb mentions that it

offers techniques for interrupting the cascade of symptoms. Its basically

cognitive behavioral therapy techniques for being " in the moment " , distracting

yourself and re-focusing on something else.

That's what I did when I was having my first panic attack: I switched my focus

from my alarming physical sensations to the car in front of me, and keeping an

exact distance between us instead of just stopping dead on the bridge and

freezing solid like I was craving to do. I told myself that if I could maintain

that exact distance (moving when he moved, stopping when he stopped), if that

guy got to the end of the bridge, I would too. It was terrifying because my

vision had tunneled down to a pinprick opening and I could only see part of his

license plate, AND I felt like I was going to pass out. But it worked!

Here's the book that got good reviews, called " Don't Panic! "

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0060951605/psycomnetdepress/

-Annie

>

> [if you find that you want to tackle this and are ready to give it a go, you

have an excellent chance of shedding it.]

>

> I do, I really do want to tackle it. I almost feel RELIEVED to realize I'm

agoraphobic (mind you, my T has not come out and said 'you're agoraphobic' but

in reading about it, there is not doubt at all.

>

> It's a relief because it almost seems like something outside of

myself--something I'm perceiving--that I can manage. And also, because I've

forced myself to do stuff that has scared me. And even though I was a shaking,

sweating mess afterwards, I felt empowered! Mind you, the stuff I did (driving

down a somewhat snowy hill in a car I wasn't comfortable in) is something others

could do without blinking an eye, but for me it was major!

>

> I kind of wish my T would give me homework or challenge me. But she's very

laid back about it. I think she just kind of wants me to take steps I'm ready

to take at my own pace.

>

> Annie, can you recommend any books that might be helpful?

>

[Guest guest]

The book I read, I don't seem to have anymore; this happened over 20 years ago!

But here's one that got good customer reviews, and the blurb mentions that it

offers techniques for interrupting the cascade of symptoms. Its basically

cognitive behavioral therapy techniques for being " in the moment " , distracting

yourself and re-focusing on something else.

That's what I did when I was having my first panic attack: I switched my focus

from my alarming physical sensations to the car in front of me, and keeping an

exact distance between us instead of just stopping dead on the bridge and

freezing solid like I was craving to do. I told myself that if I could maintain

that exact distance (moving when he moved, stopping when he stopped), if that

guy got to the end of the bridge, I would too. It was terrifying because my

vision had tunneled down to a pinprick opening and I could only see part of his

license plate, AND I felt like I was going to pass out. But it worked!

Here's the book that got good reviews, called " Don't Panic! "

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0060951605/psycomnetdepress/

-Annie

>

> [if you find that you want to tackle this and are ready to give it a go, you

have an excellent chance of shedding it.]

>

> I do, I really do want to tackle it. I almost feel RELIEVED to realize I'm

agoraphobic (mind you, my T has not come out and said 'you're agoraphobic' but

in reading about it, there is not doubt at all.

>

> It's a relief because it almost seems like something outside of

myself--something I'm perceiving--that I can manage. And also, because I've

forced myself to do stuff that has scared me. And even though I was a shaking,

sweating mess afterwards, I felt empowered! Mind you, the stuff I did (driving

down a somewhat snowy hill in a car I wasn't comfortable in) is something others

could do without blinking an eye, but for me it was major!

>

> I kind of wish my T would give me homework or challenge me. But she's very

laid back about it. I think she just kind of wants me to take steps I'm ready

to take at my own pace.

>

> Annie, can you recommend any books that might be helpful?

>