Bookshelf

[Guest guest]

I had a good session with T today. For one thing, beginning to feel better,

more balanced, optimistic about life, after many months struggling with

depression. And thanks for the thoughts and prayers of so many of you who have

had my back in this fight.

My T, ( love her , btw) said a couple interesting things in our session.

Borderlines tend to breed and mold more borderlines. They inflict their traits

on their children as they learn about relationships from a parent who cannot

manage relationships. We need to break that cycle. It is very hard and rare for

a Borderline to choose healing and respond to therapy. YOU ( meaning me, but I

would expand to , us KO s ) can.

You have a bookshelf filled with all sorts of books. Some are the good parts,

the successes, the good times, the joys, but you have learned to focus on the

dark titles, the black times, the failures. You have learned to manage

unhappiness, rather than how to choose happiness. You spend so much time

expecting and bracing for the next or worst case crisis, that you lose the joy

of the moment you are living in.

I want you to build in your mind a new bookcase. Start putting the good titles

on it. Fill it with those successes and achievements. Let the happy times in.

Choose to read those books. Put a door on the old bookcase. The past is not

dead, it happened, but it does not have to define you. Remember it, sure. But

put up a door, and choose to close it, knowing it is all still there, you can

take the strength you need from surviving it, the skills you ve learned from

coping with it. But choose to shut the door on that one, and fill the new one

with what you will focus on.

Maybe it was just me. But her words made profound sense.

So, I paid the 130 bucks an hour. But I ll share the wisdom for free.

Doug