Cheryl Re: New Year Blues

[Guest guest]

Hello love. I've been out of town for the past couple of days and away from a computer. I truly wish I was here to read your messages. My heart reaches out to you very strongly. I've gone up, down and back again with my beliefs as well. About the afterlife, and about whether my loved ones are safe on the other side. I would like to tell you why I KNOW there is an afterlife. My mother died in a car accident when I was 9. It sent me through a time of anger, and confusion. I believe she was a very special soul mate of mine. My heart truly aches for her even now and always will. But when I call on her I feel her presence instantly like a warm hug. I feel her smile and her peace. I feel her compassion for my pain. After years of soul searching I understand that her passing was a joyous one. If some of my family heard me say that they would probably disown me, but I feel that it happened as it was supposed to. Her time was up here even though she was only 28. She had other duties. She "graduated" life in a sense. Now she's there for my family like she could never be in a physical form. I know she likes it when I smile over her memories. One time a couple of years ago I came home from work sick as a dog. I was alone and no one to take care of me. I hardly had enough strength to lift my head. All I said was "I want my mom" and I felt her instantly sitting next to me. It felt like she was touching my forehead checking for a fever. All I could do was smile. I've had many experiences with spirits, my guides, dreams that have showed a new world to me as I was growing up. I started researching and comparing my own experiences and I know for a fact that what I've seen and experienced is real. Doubt will only turn off your gifts and leave you disconnected from the source. Or God if you prefer to say. God has NEVER been separate from us. That's an unfortunate misunderstanding that people have. God is, and always will be a part of us. Never abandoning us, we're the ones who push him away. We are never alone. I can understand your fear of your mother dying. Because my mother died so unexpectantly when I was young I have a constant fear of losing those I love. I used to cry before I went to bed just in the thought of losing my brother if he was to go suddenly. Now that I have the love of my life, I have an overwhelming fear of losing him. I've shared this with him, and his response has always been..."Don't play the "what if" game". Things will happen as they are supposed to. Like Cheryl said, there is a plan. And when your mother passes, there WILL be a reunion with all your loved ones on the other side when your time comes. Fearing her death and beating yourself down with that now is only an illusion of protecting yourself. You feel that if you suffer for it now, it will be easier when the time actually comes. That isn't true. Please walk easily with yourself especially since you're in constant physical pain already. Now onto a scientific explanation if you rather. Science has proven that we have an energetic body. Our auras. Every single part of our bodies are made up of energy. We ARE energy. What science has also proven is that energy does not die. It never goes out of existence. It can change forms, but it can never die. We are energy so therefore we can't really die. We can go to another plane of existence, our energy can be put into the Earth we live on, but it will never be destroyed because our bodies simply die. We have multiple bodies, and they work with our physical one. It's not all we are love. If it was, you probably wouldn't be asking these questions in the first place. Personally, I dislike the word mature. I think that should be used for things like old food. I believe (and others may believe differently) that all of our souls are the same age. Some are just more experienced than others. I guess that could be considered "mature", but I still don't completely see it that way. We are what we are. We are all at special points and paths in our experiences. There can never be an exact box to put ourselves into. So if you feel that you're being immature, maybe you're just putting a human explanation to something not so easily defined. I hope that makes sense. Know that I love you deeply. I admire your courage to ask others these hard questions. No one can really tell you what to believe until you experience for yourself. But try not to doubt yourself. Doubt is a poison and will keep you from everything you search for. I'm here for you if you want to e-mail me. May 2008 be an amazing year of clarity for you. Love, light, and infinite blessings to you and your beautiful family,Stef>> Thank you for your message. You have reminded me through your sharing > of physical ailments why I probably suffer in part. I too was well > the words I would choose are, selfish, inmature and very angry at > life. It could be the anger that brought my health and me to my knees > and unlike you I have not learned to let go of it yet even though I > know it's killing me and that makes me more angry. > > I have gone through the lessons of knowing that pain refined me and > have grown deep empathy for all things through it for everything > except myself that is an oxymoron I presume but I have. I am angry at > my relationships in my life that seem unresolvable. I've had several > loving people in this group try to help me before and they surely > did for the time being. I am the type that needs to be reminded > constantly and I believe mostly due to the fact that I am in such > intense pain and have been for so many years. This type of pain wears > a person at a level that cannot be described. I know many people here > and maybe even you are living the same thing, the drugs are killing > me. > > I read the soul descriptions today and was very astounded to find I > fit in the mature soul catergory lmao almost precisely. I find that > odd because someone as whiney and confused and lost as I am well it > doesn't go along with maturity and it's a phase I can't wait to move > out of. If death brings me into the old soul phase into another life > I will have earned it.. I don't believe in reincarnation but then > again I don't disbelief it either. I am getting of track here. > > I can't imagine losing my mother at the age you did. My mother was in > an accident when I was 10 and since then I have endured being ready > to lose her at any given year. That type of hyper vigilence is what > causes me to be the way I am. Well I am now 45 years old in a few > days. I guess I can stop worrying and be thankful for the years I > have had with her. A Quad like her is not suppose to live past 12 > years. My mother has been the constant in my life through every pain > I endured mostly abusive relationships. I moved away from her for 6 > years to try and break the CODEPENDANCE and I felt like my soul was > dying. I new I had to move back home. I guess after helping her > mother die and now her brother that fear is staring me down hard. If > I could just get myself to believe in the after life again like I did > before my grandmother died I would rest easy. My beliefs and gifts > were not something she could understand and now I have lost mine in > part because of her new beliefs. Her studies of current and old > theologians who have found that Jesus was not what we think he was, > that the bible is incorrect in many areas led her to a more indepth > study. She claims there is no way to know of an after life. She > remains stoic to gifts of any kind and I don't sense any love of > spirit flowing from her though she is a very loving and giving > person. Her studies are so bound in fact it has tore asunder my own > and left me doubting everything I believed. She is a phsycologist of > sorts, masters degree. > > Getting to the big picture my mother is my true soul mate. I need to > know I will be with her again and I won't rest easy until I do know. > I might not come to that until she is long gone...sigh. > > Thank you again for sharing what you have it really has helped me > remember a few things. Huggs, >