RE: Question for parents about stimming

[Guest guest]

In our case it actually can interfere with his learning. Our son claps his hands and completely diverts his attention to the stim. But like other stims we try to replace the 'negative' one with a

more functional one - he loves to bang onm the bongos and drums now instead.

As parents and loved ones of children with autism we understand the stims and see beyond them. But with it already being so difficult for many autistic children to form friendships with their peers, stims that are

so very apparent and consuming can make it that much more difficult.

'Typica' kids who do not know any better can and will be mean.

From: sList [sList ] On Behalf Of Lydia Glider- [mizlydia@...]

Sent: Friday, February 12, 2010 8:54 PM

To: sList

Subject: Question for parents about stimming

Why is it so important to stop kids from stimming, if the stims are not injurious to the child or others? If the child enjoys rocking or hand-flapping, is it really such a problem? I know autistic people in various locations... some in institutions, and

they have mentioned being punished for rocking, hand-flapping or making up their own words. I just don't understand why it's considered so bad.

--

Lydia Glider-

Broward County Special Needs Parents Examiner

www.examiner.com

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

WE CAN DO THIS

http://www.nopom.info

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Hear the REAL Voices of Autism:

www.iamautism.org

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

" First they ignore you, then they ridicule you, then they fight you, then you win. "

~~Mahatma Gandhi

[Guest guest]

I don’t think it is bad but rather it is a behavior that

identifies our children as different and “odd” (for lack of a

better word). There is certainly nothing wrong with being different and I

would like to believe that most social behavior is understood and accepted however,

even if this was true, these behaviors can still make our children targets. Ridicule,

bullying, assault are all real threats. I would like to believe that we can

change how children/people see each other and hopefully work towards the goal

of full acceptance but the reality (now any ways) is that it does not exist.

So, it seems we spend a lot of time trying to make our children fit into the world

with in which they live. I know I struggle with this myself – wanting to

accept my daughter for who she is and honor the uniqueness about her but then

fighting with the idea of needing her to fit in. I am so afraid that one day, because

her quirkiness is obvious, that she will be a vulnerable target. I want to love

and accept my daughter for the practically perfect child she is but I also want

to protect her. I hope this provides some insight and is not taken the wrong

way.

Cohane, LCSW

creating connections and strengthening families by providing

developmental-behavioral interventions and psychotherapy services

Cohane@...

From: sList [mailto:sList ] On Behalf Of Lydia Glider-

Sent: Friday, February 12, 2010

8:54 PM

To: sList

Subject: Question

for parents about stimming

Why is it

so important to stop kids from stimming, if the stims are not injurious to the

child or others? If the child enjoys rocking or hand-flapping, is it really

such a problem? I know autistic people in various locations... some in

institutions, and they have mentioned being punished for rocking, hand-flapping

or making up their own words. I just don't understand why it's considered so

bad.

--

Lydia

Glider-

Broward County Special Needs Parents Examiner

www.examiner.com

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

WE CAN DO THIS

http://www.nopom.info

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Hear the REAL Voices of Autism:

www.iamautism.org

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

" First they ignore you, then they ridicule you, then they fight you, then

you win. "

~~Mahatma Gandhi

[Guest guest]

For me it's more of a focus problem. is more focused in responding

to a therapist's request, although he still is focused. You might say he learns

better when he is completely focused.

Probably the greatest concern parents have is with the social

stigma it presents out in public. We are more apt to accept stimming at home as

a part of the child's normal routine. It is probably one reason why parents

leave their child at home.

I personally could care less for the second explanation. He is

what he is so move on.

From:

sList [mailto:sList ] On Behalf

Of Lydia Glider-

Sent: Friday, February 12, 2010 8:54 PM

To: sList

Subject: Question for parents about stimming

Why is it so important to stop kids from stimming, if the stims are not

injurious to the child or others? If the child enjoys rocking or hand-flapping,

is it really such a problem? I know autistic people in various locations...

some in institutions, and they have mentioned being punished for rocking,

hand-flapping or making up their own words. I just don't understand why it's

considered so bad.

--

Lydia Glider-

Broward County Special Needs Parents Examiner

www.examiner.com

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

WE CAN DO THIS

http://www.nopom.info

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Hear the REAL Voices of Autism:

www.iamautism.org

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

" First they ignore you, then they ridicule you, then they fight you, then

you win. "

~~Mahatma Gandhi

[Guest guest]

For me it's more of a focus problem. is more focused in responding

to a therapist's request, although he still is focused. You might say he learns

better when he is completely focused.

Probably the greatest concern parents have is with the social

stigma it presents out in public. We are more apt to accept stimming at home as

a part of the child's normal routine. It is probably one reason why parents

leave their child at home.

I personally could care less for the second explanation. He is

what he is so move on.

From:

sList [mailto:sList ] On Behalf

Of Lydia Glider-

Sent: Friday, February 12, 2010 8:54 PM

To: sList

Subject: Question for parents about stimming

Why is it so important to stop kids from stimming, if the stims are not

injurious to the child or others? If the child enjoys rocking or hand-flapping,

is it really such a problem? I know autistic people in various locations...

some in institutions, and they have mentioned being punished for rocking,

hand-flapping or making up their own words. I just don't understand why it's

considered so bad.

--

Lydia Glider-

Broward County Special Needs Parents Examiner

www.examiner.com

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

WE CAN DO THIS

http://www.nopom.info

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Hear the REAL Voices of Autism:

www.iamautism.org

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

" First they ignore you, then they ridicule you, then they fight you, then

you win. "

~~Mahatma Gandhi

[Guest guest]

For me it's more of a focus problem. is more focused in responding

to a therapist's request, although he still is focused. You might say he learns

better when he is completely focused.

Probably the greatest concern parents have is with the social

stigma it presents out in public. We are more apt to accept stimming at home as

a part of the child's normal routine. It is probably one reason why parents

leave their child at home.

I personally could care less for the second explanation. He is

what he is so move on.

From:

sList [mailto:sList ] On Behalf

Of Lydia Glider-

Sent: Friday, February 12, 2010 8:54 PM

To: sList

Subject: Question for parents about stimming

Why is it so important to stop kids from stimming, if the stims are not

injurious to the child or others? If the child enjoys rocking or hand-flapping,

is it really such a problem? I know autistic people in various locations...

some in institutions, and they have mentioned being punished for rocking,

hand-flapping or making up their own words. I just don't understand why it's

considered so bad.

--

Lydia Glider-

Broward County Special Needs Parents Examiner

www.examiner.com

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

WE CAN DO THIS

http://www.nopom.info

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Hear the REAL Voices of Autism:

www.iamautism.org

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

" First they ignore you, then they ridicule you, then they fight you, then

you win. "

~~Mahatma Gandhi

[Guest guest]

I agree with you Lydia. When my therapist started talking about "extinction" for certain stimming behaviors we had a talk. I believe that certain stims are dangerous and other stims may not be dangerous but inhibit learning ie zoning on the patterns in the wood around our windows and doors took my son's attention away from his therapy. However I never cared if he walked on his toes- so what!!!! AND we have to be careful when we stop a stim because another more harmful one may replace the previous! We need to keep the BIG picture in mind. I don't let my son hand flap- only because I don't want undue and negative attention drawn to him. So when that happened he and I would play a game with our hands, and now he is past that phase.I know this is only my opinion. I am not trying to persuade parent one way or another. We all have to follow our "mommy gut" and we all love our children and I'm sure try to do what is best for them.Rose President, The Safety Sleeper inc. TMThe easy to use zippered enclosure keeps your sleeper safe in his/her own bed and prevents them from unattended wandering. This gives your sleeper the freedom to wind down and go to sleep on their own.To learn more, click onThe Safety Sleeper www.thesafetysleeper.com

--- Question for parents about stimming

Date: Fri, February 12, 2010 8:54 pm

To: sList

Why is it so important to stop kids from stimming, if the stims are not injurious to the child or others? If the child enjoys rocking or hand-flapping, is it really such a problem? I know autistic people in various locations... some in institutions, and they have mentioned being punished for rocking, hand-flapping or making up their own words. I just don't understand why it's considered so bad. -- Lydia Glider-Broward County Special Needs Parents Examinerwww.examiner.com<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 WE CAN DO THIShttp://www.nopom.info <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3Hear the REAL Voices of Autism:www.iamautism.org<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3"First they ignore you, then they ridicule you, then they fight you, then you win." ~~Mahatma Gandhi

[Guest guest]

I think it is a matter of the degree of the behavior. If the

stimming replaces social interaction or any scheduled activities it creates an

obvious problem. Another issue is teasing by others. We taught our son that

stimming is a private behavior allowed at home when there are no guests, or in

his room regardless of the company. It worked for him but it does not work for

everybody. Another option is to offer a more " acceptable " behavior

that is still acceptable socially.

Shirly

Shirly Gilad BCBA,RN, FNP, MS

Behavioral Therapy and then some.

Work:

Fax:

shirly@...

www.shirlygilad.com

From: sList

[mailto:sList ] On Behalf Of Lydia Glider-

Sent: Friday, February 12, 2010 8:54 PM

To: sList

Subject: Question for parents about stimming

Why is it so important to stop kids from stimming, if the stims are not

injurious to the child or others? If the child enjoys rocking or hand-flapping,

is it really such a problem? I know autistic people in various locations...

some in institutions, and they have mentioned being punished for rocking,

hand-flapping or making up their own words. I just don't understand why it's

considered so bad.

--

Lydia Glider-

Broward County Special Needs Parents Examiner

www.examiner.com

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

WE CAN DO THIS

http://www.nopom.info

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Hear the REAL Voices of Autism:

www.iamautism.org

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

" First they ignore you, then they ridicule you, then they fight you, then

you win. "

~~Mahatma Gandhi

[Guest guest]

I think it is a matter of the degree of the behavior. If the

stimming replaces social interaction or any scheduled activities it creates an

obvious problem. Another issue is teasing by others. We taught our son that

stimming is a private behavior allowed at home when there are no guests, or in

his room regardless of the company. It worked for him but it does not work for

everybody. Another option is to offer a more " acceptable " behavior

that is still acceptable socially.

Shirly

Shirly Gilad BCBA,RN, FNP, MS

Behavioral Therapy and then some.

Work:

Fax:

shirly@...

www.shirlygilad.com

From: sList

[mailto:sList ] On Behalf Of Lydia Glider-

Sent: Friday, February 12, 2010 8:54 PM

To: sList

Subject: Question for parents about stimming

Why is it so important to stop kids from stimming, if the stims are not

injurious to the child or others? If the child enjoys rocking or hand-flapping,

is it really such a problem? I know autistic people in various locations...

some in institutions, and they have mentioned being punished for rocking,

hand-flapping or making up their own words. I just don't understand why it's

considered so bad.

--

Lydia Glider-

Broward County Special Needs Parents Examiner

www.examiner.com

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

WE CAN DO THIS

http://www.nopom.info

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Hear the REAL Voices of Autism:

www.iamautism.org

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

" First they ignore you, then they ridicule you, then they fight you, then

you win. "

~~Mahatma Gandhi

[Guest guest]

In my son's case it's a problem because it gets in the way of him focusing...he'll answer you anything while looking you in the eyes, but when he starts with the finger flickering, all is gone. The social part is important as well, I wish I could discount that, but it makes him an easy target for other kids AND parents...Subject: RE: Question for parents about stimmingTo: sList Date: Saturday, February 13, 2010, 10:41 PM

I think it is a matter of the degree of the behavior. If the

stimming replaces social interaction or any scheduled activities it creates an

obvious problem. Another issue is teasing by others. We taught our son that

stimming is a private behavior allowed at home when there are no guests, or in

his room regardless of the company. It worked for him but it does not work for

everybody. Another option is to offer a more "acceptable" behavior

that is still acceptable socially. Shirly

Shirly Gilad BCBA,RN, FNP, MS Behavioral Therapy and then some. Work: Fax: shirlyshirlygilad (DOT) com www.shirlygilad. com

From: sList@ yahoogroups. com

[mailto:sList @yahoogroups. com] On Behalf Of Lydia Glider-

Sent: Friday, February 12, 2010 8:54 PM

To: sList@ yahoogroups. com

Subject: Question for parents about stimming

Why is it so important to stop kids from stimming, if the stims are not

injurious to the child or others? If the child enjoys rocking or hand-flapping,

is it really such a problem? I know autistic people in various locations...

some in institutions, and they have mentioned being punished for rocking,

hand-flapping or making up their own words. I just don't understand why it's

considered so bad.

--

Lydia Glider-

Broward County Special Needs Parents Examiner

www.examiner. com

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

WE CAN DO THIS

http://www.nopom. info

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Hear the REAL Voices of Autism:

www.iamautism. org

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

"First they ignore you, then they ridicule you, then they fight you, then

you win."

~~Mahatma Gandhi

[Guest guest]

In my son's case it's a problem because it gets in the way of him focusing...he'll answer you anything while looking you in the eyes, but when he starts with the finger flickering, all is gone. The social part is important as well, I wish I could discount that, but it makes him an easy target for other kids AND parents...Subject: RE: Question for parents about stimmingTo: sList Date: Saturday, February 13, 2010, 10:41 PM

I think it is a matter of the degree of the behavior. If the

stimming replaces social interaction or any scheduled activities it creates an

obvious problem. Another issue is teasing by others. We taught our son that

stimming is a private behavior allowed at home when there are no guests, or in

his room regardless of the company. It worked for him but it does not work for

everybody. Another option is to offer a more "acceptable" behavior

that is still acceptable socially. Shirly

Shirly Gilad BCBA,RN, FNP, MS Behavioral Therapy and then some. Work: Fax: shirlyshirlygilad (DOT) com www.shirlygilad. com

From: sList@ yahoogroups. com

[mailto:sList @yahoogroups. com] On Behalf Of Lydia Glider-

Sent: Friday, February 12, 2010 8:54 PM

To: sList@ yahoogroups. com

Subject: Question for parents about stimming

Why is it so important to stop kids from stimming, if the stims are not

injurious to the child or others? If the child enjoys rocking or hand-flapping,

is it really such a problem? I know autistic people in various locations...

some in institutions, and they have mentioned being punished for rocking,

hand-flapping or making up their own words. I just don't understand why it's

considered so bad.

--

Lydia Glider-

Broward County Special Needs Parents Examiner

www.examiner. com

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

WE CAN DO THIS

http://www.nopom. info

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Hear the REAL Voices of Autism:

www.iamautism. org

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

"First they ignore you, then they ridicule you, then they fight you, then

you win."

~~Mahatma Gandhi

[Guest guest]

Well put....your words struck a chord in me.

-- RE: Question for parents about stimming

I don’t think it is bad but rather it is a behavior that identifies our children as different and “odd” (for lack of a better word). There is certainly nothing wrong with being different and I would like to believe that most social behavior is understood and accepted however, even if this was true, these behaviors can still make our children targets. Ridicule, bullying, assault are all real threats. I would like to believe that we can change how children/people see each other and hopefully work towards the goal of full acceptance but the reality (now any ways) is that it does not exist. So, it seems we spend a lot of time trying to make our children fit into the world with in which they live. I know I struggle with this myself – wanting to accept my daughter for who she is and honor the uniqueness about her but then fighting with the idea of needing her to fit in. I am so afraid that one day, because her quirkiness is obvious, that she will be a vulnerable target. I want to love and accept my daughter for the practically perfect child she is but I also want to protect her. I hope this provides some insight and is not taken the wrong way.

Cohane, LCSW

creating connections and strengthening families by providing

developmental-behavioral interventions and psychotherapy services

Cohanecomcast (DOT) net

From: sList [mailto:sList ] On Behalf Of Lydia Glider-Sent: Friday, February 12, 2010 8:54 PMTo: sList Subject: Question for parents about stimming

Why is it so important to stop kids from stimming, if the stims are not injurious to the child or others? If the child enjoys rocking or hand-flapping, is it really such a problem? I know autistic people in various locations... some in institutions, and they have mentioned being punished for rocking, hand-flapping or making up their own words. I just don't understand why it's considered so bad.-- Lydia Glider-Broward County Special Needs Parents Examinerwww.examiner.com<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 WE CAN DO THIShttp://www.nopom.info<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3Hear the REAL Voices of Autism:www.iamautism.org<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3"First they ignore you, then they ridicule you, then they fight you, then you win." ~~Mahatma Gandhi

[Guest guest]

Well put....your words struck a chord in me.

-- RE: Question for parents about stimming

I don’t think it is bad but rather it is a behavior that identifies our children as different and “odd” (for lack of a better word). There is certainly nothing wrong with being different and I would like to believe that most social behavior is understood and accepted however, even if this was true, these behaviors can still make our children targets. Ridicule, bullying, assault are all real threats. I would like to believe that we can change how children/people see each other and hopefully work towards the goal of full acceptance but the reality (now any ways) is that it does not exist. So, it seems we spend a lot of time trying to make our children fit into the world with in which they live. I know I struggle with this myself – wanting to accept my daughter for who she is and honor the uniqueness about her but then fighting with the idea of needing her to fit in. I am so afraid that one day, because her quirkiness is obvious, that she will be a vulnerable target. I want to love and accept my daughter for the practically perfect child she is but I also want to protect her. I hope this provides some insight and is not taken the wrong way.

Cohane, LCSW

creating connections and strengthening families by providing

developmental-behavioral interventions and psychotherapy services

Cohanecomcast (DOT) net

From: sList [mailto:sList ] On Behalf Of Lydia Glider-Sent: Friday, February 12, 2010 8:54 PMTo: sList Subject: Question for parents about stimming

Why is it so important to stop kids from stimming, if the stims are not injurious to the child or others? If the child enjoys rocking or hand-flapping, is it really such a problem? I know autistic people in various locations... some in institutions, and they have mentioned being punished for rocking, hand-flapping or making up their own words. I just don't understand why it's considered so bad.-- Lydia Glider-Broward County Special Needs Parents Examinerwww.examiner.com<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 WE CAN DO THIShttp://www.nopom.info<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3Hear the REAL Voices of Autism:www.iamautism.org<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3"First they ignore you, then they ridicule you, then they fight you, then you win." ~~Mahatma Gandhi