I have no contact, but she wants back in.

[Guest guest]

I have actually had no contact with my mom for about a year now, I cut her out

of my life. I have a lot of guilt, and i get a lot of guilt from everyone on

that side of the family. Especially because the crisis surrounding the time I

" abandoned her " was the birth of my baby brother. Due to cutting her out of my

life, I have also cut my baby brother out... She sends me picture messages of

him, but I have not seen him since I walked away because of the unhappiness she

bring me.

She wants contact, and wants to talk again, but has never owned up to what she

did... and i know she probably never will. I just can't let someone so hurtful

back into my life so easily without even a slight acknowledgment that they did

something wrong.

Her latest text to me reads:

" So i can't sleep, I've let this go long enough. U need to talk to me, i can't

believe this is going on a year, u don't talk to us, or see us, it's just not

ok. Talk to me about us, deal with it, i'm your mom, i raised you, it's not ok

hurting like this not seeing n talking to me, really, a year, really [my name].

This is how you're gunna be??? Your little brothers going to have surgery on his

bday, and your not even talking to us, like who cares about mom and your

brother... i brought you up as a single mom all your life, good times and bad

times. i didn't give you up n disown u. I've tryed contacting u this past

year, all i get is a cold shoulder, it's not ok. You couldn't even see your

little brother, really [my name], you don't care that much??? no feelings for me

or him, really, a year. your mother deserves more respect... your brother

doesn't even know his big sister, thats just wrong n hurtful, at least i've

tried to contact you this year. This is not ok. We are alive, we are your

family, you've punished me long enough, and i've let this go long enough. life

is too short to be doing this. Life happens, it is what it is. I can only deal

with so much, you have a part in our relationship, so this is not ok, any

longer. One of us could die tonight, then what??? [my name] life is too short

for this crap. And i'm a pretty cool fricken mom by the way, remember that, oh

yea the good things, yes im keeping it real. I'm worried about you too, love

you, mom. So there! "

All i want to say back is " I'm sorry that your explosive anger tainted so many

wonderful experiences in my life, it's just sad that you can't recognize why i

can't continue a relationship with you. " But, i chose to say nothing, and not

engage to her pleas.

Oh yea, and to be clear, i was the one humble enough to send cards for each

holiday, gifts for christmas and birthdays.... with no response from her except

a bitter text " enjoy your life with your new family. " The only ounce of contact

she has done was sending picture messages of my brother. We did talk on

christmas day, i thought things might turn around from there in a positive way,

but of course not.

So exhausting, it's exhausting even when i have cut her out.... how does she

have that much control! Not sure what to do.

Break down this text for me, give me strength and affirmation that what I'm

doing is not the wrong way/ least therapeutic way to handle this.

Thank you!