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withbeautyandgrace,

Welcome! I read your post and almost started crying bc it reminded me of my own

story so much. During the planning of our wedding, my mom was in total " Queen "

borderline mode. Anytime we planned something she didn't approve of---she would

threaten not to come and tell us our wedding was " stupid " and she was going to

be " embarrassed to be there " . As i look back on most of my wedding, she did

everything she could to ruin it and make it ALL about HER. My husband got fed up

with her behavior one day and was very direct with her that if she wasn't going

to be supportive that she needed to butt out. Well, that was it---she completely

wrote him off and has villanized him ever since. My husband is such a wonderful

husband and father but she continues to HATE him no matter what he does (he even

apologized several times for things he never did just to make things better).

Thank God for my husband though---he was the first one that ever pointed out to

me how abusive and dysfunctional she was. Maybe thats why she hates him--because

he spoke truth to me. I have been NC with my mom for 4 years now. She resurfaces

occassionally and i fell for it a few times out of my desperation to have a

mother that was normal. Unfortunately, it was always just what i call " bait " to

start her crazy cycle of abuse again. Going through life not talking to your mom

stinks. She has missed out on so many things in my life(i have two kids now and

she has only seen my son once) and sometimes i feel bad for her but then i

remember how much healthier i am now that she is not in the picture. My

advice--keep your distance and boundaries up! Welcome to the group again!

Hope:)

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