Nada is trying to make me crazy too

January 1, 2011

Ok, forgive me as I am new to this whole BPD scene and figuring out my mom's

" motivations " for the first time.

My nada is going on an almost 2-month " cold shoulder/silent treatment " after a

holiday blow up.

She called today to tell me that she is bringing a " male friend " to a big family

gathering tomorrow at my aunt's house. I had no idea she had been seeing anyone.

I calmly said " ok " and asked what's his name and what does he do, etc etc. She

immediately became hostile and said " this is my business and his name is Tim and

I'm not telling you anything else about it. I'd rather keep my business to

myself " . She went on to explain he was " just a friend " and there was nothing

romantic there. When I questioned why you would feel the need to introduce a

casual friend to your children and siblings, she told me " I am tired of being

alone at these family functions, I'd like to be with somebody " . Ok, that makes a

lot of sense...????

I don't know why I let it get to me, but it worked. I know I shouldn't have

reacted but this holiday has been especially hard for me, realizing that I don't

have a real mom and grieving what we used to have before she went completely off

her rocker.

After hanging up, I realized that she is doing this to make a big scene at the

family gathering and draw all attention to herself. And also to make me and my

brother feel awkward AND to show us she is in control, if possible, of our

emotions as well.

I want to call her bluff and not show up tomorrow. I have a 3 year old daughter

and I would love to see my aunts and cousins but I don't know that I'm up for

seeing my mom making big dramatic entrances with some man just to prove a point

to me and I don't know that I want to explain that " man friend " to my 3 year

old.

She can introduce a man friend properly to me and my family without throwing him

in my face in a group full of people.

Am I wrong in wanting to not show up? Be honest - I'm not looking for

validation. I want HONEST opinions please. I feel really in a daze right now

while learning about BPD.

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