Guest guest Posted January 23, 2011 Report Share Posted January 23, 2011 I just wanted to give an update of my current relationship with my BP mother. We had a fight over Christmas where she was a nightmare and I stormed out. We really haven't spoken since as she's " punishing me " with a lack of contact. I've reached out twice in small ways (forwarding cute emails that I know she'd like) and a week after the fight I called her to say, " when you're ready to move forward and talk, I'm here, give me a call " she said, " , In your phone call to me last week, you said, " IF you are ready to move on, you can call me " . I found the statement passive aggressive and after much thought, I think, in fact you were asking me not to " Communicate " with you. Because of that statement/request, I will respect your wishes to distance yourself from me. But, I pose this question to you; are YOU moving on or are you avoiding? No need to respond, just something for you think about. The cutesie dog e-mails and phone calls about recipes are all just superficial, meaningless communication and not necessary. Mom " Then,she sent me a funny forward email a few days ago and I replied " thanks, how are things? " and she replied " Good, I didn't mean to send that to you, my computer is on the fritz when I forward emails " so that was nice... It's kind of weird, it's sad but I'm like I don't want to make the " wrong " move and contact her. Honesty, I feel like I'm damned if I do and I'm damned if I don't. If I don't contact her, I " m an ass for " cutting her off " even though she cut me off, but I'm an ass for not begging to be back in her life, and if I do contact her, I'll have to grovel and apologize and that just reinforces her negative behavior. I can't explain to her that her behavior is incorrect, b/c she'll never get it, so I am still trying to figure out where to go from here - but it is a big relief to not constantly be on edge of what is our next call going to be like - things are bad, but I know they are and I don't have to deal with her, it's not anticipatory. When any move or no move is the " wrong move " with her, is there something from your experience that I could do that might help? Thanks for any recommendations that you might have that have worked for you. ~ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.