[FW] Gifts of the Soul

[Guest guest]

Gifts of the Soul

A Quarterly Column

June-Sept 2006

by V. Hyde

Gifts of the Soul

The Courage to Be Happy

Happiness is inward and not outward;

and so it does not depend on what we have,

but on what we are.

--Henry Van Dyke

Happiness is our birthright. It's the goal of our life. Yes, there

will be times when we will suffer, but some of the most influential

and healing people on our planet are those who choose and allow

themselves to be happy, no matter the circumstance.

In order to experience genuine happiness, we must understand what

happiness is and where it comes from. And sometimes, it's easier to

start with what it is not. Heartfelt happiness has nothing to do with

external circumstances; it's not based upon what we have or what we

do. The most ambitious accomplishments cannot provide us with lasting

happiness, nor can beauty, money or fame. None of the idols we

subscribe to can ever fulfill us for happiness comes from within and

cannot be discovered outside ourselves.

Rick & Greg Hicks, authors of How We Choose to Be Happy

affirm, "True happiness is a profound, enduring feeling of

contentment, capability and centeredness. It's a rich sense of well-

being that comes from knowing you can deal productively and

creatively with all that life offers—both the good and the bad. It's

knowing your eternal self and responding to your real needs, rather

than the demands of others."

Further, happiness is a choice; it's less about our circumstances and

more about our attitude. Recently, after facilitating A Course in

Miracles lesson titled "My happiness and function are one," a group

of us committed to choosing happiness for fourteen days. When we

reconvened two weeks later, everyone agreed that the mornings we

meditated and consciously chose happiness, our days were filled with

contentment, even some bliss. But on the days we didn't, fear,

anxiety and stress influenced our daily lives. We also discovered

that the first week of choosing happiness was easier than the second

week. Resistance—the ego's crafty ploy—crept in, preventing the same

amount of satisfaction and peace from occurring. A Course in Miracles

reminds us that the "happy learner" is someone who recognizes we can

just as easily learn through joy as pain, for the choice is

ours: "There is no need to learn through pain. And gentle lessons are

acquired joyously, and are remembered gladly."

Finally, courage is an essential ingredient to living a happy life.

It requires courage to allow yourself to be genuinely happy. We do

not yet reside in a society that supports happy people. There are

countless support groups for those suffering, but not for those who

take risks, go beyond self-imposed limitations and live life with

gusto. once penned, "Most people would rather be

certain they're miserable, than risk being happy."

Since we can't give what we don't have, it will be difficult to

embrace another's joy if we are not feeling good about our own life.

So if you are truly ready to be happy, then you must accept that not

everyone will necessarily be happy for you. It all depends on their

perception of their own life. A wonderful affirmation a friend passed

on to me for living a courageously happy life is: "I have the courage

to be happy."

In my own life, I have discovered there are certain qualities that

a "happy learner" possesses. They are qualities which lead not only

to happiness, but to integrity, conviction and healing as well:

1) Taking Responsibility—realize you are not a victim and are

accountable for your thoughts, feelings and actions, and everything

that happens is occurring for the unfoldment of your greatest good;

2) Clear Intention—become clear of what makes you happy, making

choices accordingly and setting a clear intention that is in line

with your life's purpose;

3) Looking for Lessons—acknowledge that every situation is an

opportunity for growth and can be reframed in a positive and healing

manner, which reminds me of Barrie's quote, "The secret of

happiness is not getting what you like, but liking what you get.";

4) Appreciation—actively appreciating your life and the people in it;

practicing staying in the moment and having reverence for life as

something extraordinary and invaluable;

5) Honesty—recognize your truth and speaking it with sensitivity and

love;

6) Compassion and Extension—being willing to give from a place of

beneficence without expectations or demands.

Express the courage to choose happiness. As you let your own light

shine, you give permission to others to be happy, too.