Guest guest Posted January 15, 2011 Report Share Posted January 15, 2011 I am not a writer or a poet but if I had to pick out one thing my nada did that actually helped me be a better person I'd say it was her selfishness. No, don't call out the guys with the little white coats. Because of her selfishness I learned to entertain myself, to be self reliant. Because of her selfishness we moved a lot and I learned how to adapt quickly to new situations and schools (14 of them to be exact). Because of her selfishness, the men in her like never stuck around and I learned that relationships are hard and are not all white picket fences and flowers. Because of that I went into marriage with no expectations and we've been doing great for over 37 years now. So even the bad in a person can help us grow. Sort of like manure on the roses. > > For those who may be in (or cycling back through) the sad part of grieving over our BPD family member: > > Would anyone like to write a tribute or poem to the parts of nada/fada they love? The good parts that were helpful. The parts that give us a reason to stay LC instead of NC. Or for those who are NC, perhaps the things that contributed to your development? Maybe even the bad example that you chose not to be. > > Anyway, I am working on a song. I'll let you know if I get it and submit in poem format here. > > Love to All > And, of course, HEALING! > > +Coal Miner's Daughter > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 15, 2011 Report Share Posted January 15, 2011 After Fada disowned me, my brother became a flying monkey, and ended up blocking me on Facebook and telling me that he could no longer consider me a sister. Now, his facebook is not blocked anymore, so I can see pictures of him and his new wife (a very sweet girl--glad I met her). I know he's unblocked 'cause I suddenly felt the urge to search for him on Facebook. And to cope with the feelings, I decided to write them out. Hopefully the formatting is preserved--it's one of those poems where space and placing makes a difference. Holly I want to reach out but I'm afraid. pain, sorrow, fear (of the unknown) We've both changed things never stay the same the confusing pangs Forced apart because of the actions of one man I don't blame you. Extenuating circumstances, you know. Once, our roles were d e s r e v e r r e v e r s e d I was the one (golden and white) playing a role because I was supposed to because I thought it would appease his anger (like a god) because I thought he was appeasable. Slowly slowly I became aware of a fact my mind was filled with toxic thoughts we grew up, conditioned to think this way. Slowly slowly Control, his control I realized the danger Slowly slowly I *freed* myself from the tangled dance of fear obligation guilt. I'm still freeing myself. It takes a while. I am finally discovering MYSELF. are you? you, the black sheep never living up to his (everchanging unrealistic) expectations. He was always harder on the boys. I wished I could take some of it away from you. So much for a person to bear, his wi un dict ble ld pre a * RAGE.* Brother, you are strong. *Expecto Patronum*, our shared defense, our mental |<-walls->| We were once friends before we both changed. I wonder wonder.... You're now the golden one (I'm sadly-glad) I hope you're recognizing the danger I hope you're protecting yourself I hope you're breaking free I hope you're watching over the little ones. I hope we can (one day, some day) be friends again. I pray. Amen. > > > I am not a writer or a poet but if I had to pick out one thing my nada did > that actually helped me be a better person I'd say it was her selfishness. > No, don't call out the guys with the little white coats. Because of her > selfishness I learned to entertain myself, to be self reliant. Because of > her selfishness we moved a lot and I learned how to adapt quickly to new > situations and schools (14 of them to be exact). Because of her selfishness, > the men in her like never stuck around and I learned that relationships are > hard and are not all white picket fences and flowers. Because of that I went > into marriage with no expectations and we've been doing great for over 37 > years now. > > So even the bad in a person can help us grow. Sort of like manure on the > roses. > > > > > > For those who may be in (or cycling back through) the sad part of > grieving over our BPD family member: > > > > Would anyone like to write a tribute or poem to the parts of nada/fada > they love? The good parts that were helpful. The parts that give us a reason > to stay LC instead of NC. Or for those who are NC, perhaps the things that > contributed to your development? Maybe even the bad example that you chose > not to be. > > > > Anyway, I am working on a song. I'll let you know if I get it and submit > in poem format here. > > > > Love to All > > And, of course, HEALING! > > > > +Coal Miner's Daughter > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.