losing messages again?

[Guest guest]

I posted 3 messages from the website early today, NONE of them came through on the digest. Wish I could remember all I said, was mostly thanks for your very palpable love and good wishes sent my way in my crises. All who replied to "dear second family, another crisis" were so enlightened and inspired that I will read those replies again and again to get me through this. Trying to keep mom alive after Dad's passing a few weeks ago, but the E.R. says that while I am trying to keep her alive, I am becoming MUCH MUCH more terminal than her. She has tons of energy and is actually happy that Dad died, she's singing and dancing and making plans to start a whole new life at 75, but she keeps getting bowel obstructions and is only on fluids, no foods. My trying to be her nurse and be with her at the hospital every week that we have to take her now is making my kidneys fail very quickly and I may be on dialysis or in a special care facility soon if my lupus doesn't quit attacking my system due to all the stress. I also have 8 other serious diseases and I am in torturous pain, it will take 3 months to get an appointment with a pain specialist. I'm not eating, I sleep an hour when I can, am trying to do legal papers to get my husband back home through this, trying to care for mentally ill brother, I am barely able to remember my name most of the time, much less think logically or positively or lllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll oh gosh, there I passed out with my hand on a key. I feel like I'm drowning. I need some angels to come carry me through this until I can carry myself again. Anyway I didn't mean to vent, and didn't vent in the 3 posts I sent today...I just thanked you. Thanks all.

Love, Sheila