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Hi Everyone,

I've been off the grid for a while. The quick history:

•nada (typical BPD-witch/waif); fada (nada's always right)

•2 siblings (I was split all good—became all bad)

•'06 family meltdown about aging parents/elder care

•'06-'08 discover BPD; join this group; therapy; recovery; NC

•'09 family health crisis— break NC; crisis passes (false alarm); LC

•'10 maintain LC (new boundaries... never drive with nada/fada; never allow them

to pay for meals,etc.

That's the short & simple in code form. My nada is starting to send me & my

husband $$$ for our birthdays. It doesn't feel good. We don't want their

strings-attached; you owe us; guilt-laced dollars. Especially because we were

painted as the helpless mooches— the ones who couldn't make it on our own

without their help... which is BS. My idea is to cash the checks, give the $$$

to charity, and send them a note saying that we gave the money in their name to

charity. It seems that refusing the $$$ would cause a ruckus, trying to talk

about our feelings for not wanting it...pointless. This would keep the equation

neutral. I don't think they'd be able to say much. What do you think? Good/ Bad

decision. I feel a bit unsure. Any comments would be much appreciated.

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