Childhood bed

[Guest guest]

So my T and were talking about hoarding last night and basically how

uncomfortable my childhood home was.I told her that there were only a couple

of chairs I could sit in without having an allergic reaction because of the

dust, dander and unhygenic conditions. So I spent a lot of time standing up.

Anyway, i was telling her that I did have my own place to sleep, but my

mattress was my dad's mattress from his childhood. By the time I was in

about 4th grade it had holes about 4 inches around with bed spring popping

out of them on both sides. I would wake up covered in bruises and scratches

from the springs. My T was shocked. She was pretty much like " that was not

ok. "

I looked inside for an emotional response - but all I could find was that it

was true. That was how it was. My dad went, after a LONG time of me getting

beat up by my mattress, and bought me one from a second hand store. I don't

know why he did that. . . he had a good, stable job and an advanced degree.

We weren't destitute. I don't know why I was such a low priority. But all I

know is that it was how it was. That was what my parents did and those were

their choices.

Thoughts guys? My T seemed to think I should be sobbing at the memory - but

to me its just normal. Is that neglect by the way? I guess its not abuse,

but I think it might be neglect.

And while we are on it, what was everyone's childhood bed like? Perhaps this

is a symbol of my past.