New to group

May 16, 2005

I was just diag on 17 Feb of this year, 3 months

tomorrow. I was just like you at first. Take it from

me it gets better. My readings were very irregular at

first also. Your body was under alot of stress and it

takes time to sort things out even with the help of

meds. I was 245 pounds when first daig so I was

hungry all the time also. Eat less and less and you

will adjust. Having something to occupy yourself with

helps, reading etc and I like to chew Eclipse gum (

its sugar free and it tastes great). Mostly when I

got home from the hospital I just held my kittens

alot. I sugest you do the same

Good Luck

May 17, 2005

Dear Miss Meow,

LC, the cat in my life who allows me to live in the apartment I

rent, too, is black; with some brown stripes and underbelly that looks gold

and white underneath her chin. What is your cat like?

I have been a type I for over 40 years (since I was 2), so I can

only imagine what it is like to be informed that you are now diabetic.

I believe things will get better for you. One thing I will say is

that if we strive to be perfect (I am a perfectionist by nature), it gets

real frustrating and like people have said 'one day at a time'. I have seen

the technology for controlling diabetes get better and better and have

absolutely every reason to believe this will continue.

As I type this out I realize that " I have been a type I... "

(diabetic) is what I wrote and how I think of myself; I am not a diabetic, I

am Ted and I have diabetes. I realize it may seem like a small detail, but

I think it will make a big difference in how I look at myself; I have many

fine qualities that are much more powerful than this disease.

I hope you and others do not look at yourselves as a diabetic before

you see your strong points.

On telling others that I have diabetes: For most of my life, I

informed as few people as possible, but my sugar level was on the moon, so I

rarely had problems with low blood sugar, which is when I often need some

help. Then I got my diabetes under better control and came to the

realization that when I had low blood sugar and needed help that a friend

could easily give, they did not know what to do and had to call 911. That

made me feel really dependant on others, whereas if I had told my friends

that a glass of orange juice or sugared soda when Ted has trouble thinking

would get my BG level up so my brain had fuel, would be a lot simpler and

not make me feel like such an idiot.

It is not my intention to scare you, but too low BG level will

happen, sometimes you may not be aware of it (but just wonder why some

relatively simple task is so complicated) and others will see that something

is wrong. When others see that we need help and know what to do they can

help. I have experienced this.

I am by no means suggesting that the first thing you (or I) tell

everyone we meet is that we have diabetes, but inform those who we spend

time with: Friends, carefully selected coworkers, exercise partner, etc.

My friends care about me and do ask if what they are serving is okay for me,

but they respect that I do have a sweet tooth that I am compelled to feed at

times.

Also I would encourage you to wear some kind of bracelet or necklace

that says you are a diabetic, in case you have a low BG and nobody knows who

you are. I have had this happen and a police officer new what was happening

because of my MedicAlert bracelet.

I have found that having a set routine for each day really makes

managing my diabetes about a thousand times easier; I will be honest and say

that at this time I do not have a routine. And as says " Having

something to occupy yourself with helps, reading etc " is something I find so

true.

And my cat helps me control the diabetes, too.

I wish you all the best.

Take care

Ted

June 15, 2008

Hello Jim, WOW you are the exception to the rules of IPF. That is a great thing. I also have IPF. I was diagnosed in June 2004. I am 65. Hanging on and fighting with the ol' 02 tank too, 24/7 for 3 years.It is late and I am headed to bed but when I read this post I just had to tell you how wonderful youare for all your giving and working to help people.Also, You might call Leanne at the Foundation and have her send you some information on IPF to hand out. She can give you information about this disease. She not only works there but also has NSIP. You'll find the foundation number on the home page.WELCOME to our Air Family, We are all always so sad to welcome newbies but it is good for all of us to know we are not alone. Hope to talk with you again. God Bless. Take Care of You. Love and Prayers, PeggyIPF 2004, Florida"Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up."

January 12, 2011

Hello,

I just found this group and am looking forward to connecting with others who

have been raised by a BPD parent. My mom has BPD along with Binge eating

disorder, ptsd from divorce, and depression. She is remarried...the classic

lion and lamb scenario. My step-dad is in denial about her behavior. I've been

labeled as a bad, ungrateful and selfish daughter.

I am happily married with two young children. My husband has a MA in psychology

and helped me to recognize what was going on and to work through my childhood

trauma. Thank God for him! I've come a long way in untangling myself from her,

but a support group such as this would have certainly helped.

I was looking forward to putting some miles between my mom and I, but she moved

2 miles away from us only one year after we moved out of state (I'm her only

child). Having her nearby has put us in contact and conflict more frequently.

We have recently reconnected after a major blow out in June. Nothing has

changed, no apologies were offered and all the problems were blamed on my

husband and I. My husband confronted my mom and now she has villain-ized him.

I am at the point where I want to sever the relationship. Has anyone done this

successfully? I'm not interested in hurting her, but I can't endure this

madness or in good conscience expose my children to it any longer.

Any sound advice? Has anyone else gone through this?

January 13, 2011

Welcome to the Group, Grace, (I shortened your handle for convenience, I hope

you don't mind. Let us know what you'd prefer.)

Each of us here is figuring out how to deal with having a pd parent, or we're

dealing with the aftermath of having had one. Some of us can manage low contact

with strict boundaries in place, and others of us need to cut contact. There's

no " one and only " right way or best way to handle it, its very individual.

There are many good books out there now about setting boundaries and about

freeing yourself from " co-dependence " (feeling inappropriately responsible for &

misplaced guilt for someone else's feelings.) There is a great reading list at

the Home page of this Group. Here's the link:

http://www.bpdcentral.com/index.php

What it boils down to, really, in my opinion, is that we as human beings have

been genetically hardwired AND conditioned by society to feel very attached to

and loyal to our parents; that's " the norm. "

But the genetic hard-wiring and societal conditioning did NOT factor in the

*aberration* of *mentally ill, abusive parents*. Parents who metaphorically eat

their own young are NOT " the norm. "

Parenthood does not bestow the right to harm your child.

You did not cause your mother to be mentally ill, and you can't fix her. You

CAN decide how *you* will respond to her abusive behaviors. Feeling guilt over

protecting yourself from an abusive person is misplaced and inappropriate.

But how you do that is completely up to you; now, its all about what feels right

to you and what you can live with. Books like " Surviving A Borderline Parent "

can help a lot.

Again, welcome.

-Annie

>

> Hello,

>

> I just found this group and am looking forward to connecting with others who

have been raised by a BPD parent. My mom has BPD along with Binge eating

disorder, ptsd from divorce, and depression. She is remarried...the classic

lion and lamb scenario. My step-dad is in denial about her behavior. I've been

labeled as a bad, ungrateful and selfish daughter.

>

> I am happily married with two young children. My husband has a MA in

psychology and helped me to recognize what was going on and to work through my

childhood trauma. Thank God for him! I've come a long way in untangling myself

from her, but a support group such as this would have certainly helped.

>

> I was looking forward to putting some miles between my mom and I, but she

moved 2 miles away from us only one year after we moved out of state (I'm her

only child). Having her nearby has put us in contact and conflict more

frequently.

>

> We have recently reconnected after a major blow out in June. Nothing has

changed, no apologies were offered and all the problems were blamed on my

husband and I. My husband confronted my mom and now she has villain-ized him.

>

> I am at the point where I want to sever the relationship. Has anyone done

this successfully? I'm not interested in hurting her, but I can't endure this

madness or in good conscience expose my children to it any longer.

>

> Any sound advice? Has anyone else gone through this?

>

January 13, 2011

Dear withbeautyandgrace,

I just wanted to say that I LOVE that name/handle. I think you are in the right

place; that's probably the best I can offer right now. Because I'm kind of

where you are - nada just moved down the street. Oops! I encouraged it before

I found out about the BPD.

I was so sad to see step-dad go; I loved him very much. His passing was a great

loss for me, but I thought I might gain a friend in my mom. She has this

tendency to only be able to have 1 close relationship at a time. This " at a

time " thing can be for a few minutes on the phone or in a visit.

But, alas, I have been labeled the " bad " daughter as well. I just

couldn't/chose not to keep up with the unrelenting daily phone calls about the

furnace, phone service, etc etc etc. As much as I wanted that " relationship "

with mom, I wanted peace and health more. And a chance for a better life for my

little boys.

So we are in undeclared LC. It has gone over remarkably well, since she kind of

crossed me off her list anyway. I think we're going to be able to do this.

It's just weird for me.

I wish I had my mother. I wanted to say " back, " but that isn't really

applicable because she was never really there at all. Sometimes there is this

hollow kind of nothingness in her eyes; it's like I can see the emptiness they

describe BPD people feeling inside. I miss her. The her I never knew, that she

can't be.

See, the funny thing is, Mom is fun. I really like her. But it's all or

nothing with her. I can't keep up, so I've been tossed alongside the road. I'm

just not useful enough to bother with. And I can't walk on eggshells wondering

when the next blowup will be. The nightmares and worries that come with higher

contact destroy me.

Love and Best Wishes

+Coal Miner's Daughter

p.s. I think I'll write a song for her. A song for the parts of her I love.

I'll let you know if I get it done. Perhaps it can help in my grieving.

>

> Hello,

>

> I just found this group and am looking forward to connecting with others who

have been raised by a BPD parent. My mom has BPD along with Binge eating

disorder, ptsd from divorce, and depression. She is remarried...the classic

lion and lamb scenario. My step-dad is in denial about her behavior. I've been

labeled as a bad, ungrateful and selfish daughter.

>

> I am happily married with two young children. My husband has a MA in

psychology and helped me to recognize what was going on and to work through my

childhood trauma. Thank God for him! I've come a long way in untangling myself

from her, but a support group such as this would have certainly helped.

>

> I was looking forward to putting some miles between my mom and I, but she

moved 2 miles away from us only one year after we moved out of state (I'm her

only child). Having her nearby has put us in contact and conflict more

frequently.

>

> We have recently reconnected after a major blow out in June. Nothing has

changed, no apologies were offered and all the problems were blamed on my

husband and I. My husband confronted my mom and now she has villain-ized him.

>

> I am at the point where I want to sever the relationship. Has anyone done

this successfully? I'm not interested in hurting her, but I can't endure this

madness or in good conscience expose my children to it any longer.

>

> Any sound advice? Has anyone else gone through this?

>

January 15, 2011

Hi New Folks, Welcome!

My BPD nada only seemed to get worse - almost like she was improving at

being BPD and toxic. She did not mutilate or suicide. But she did go on

spending and eating binges as her addiction. No substance abuse unless it

was perscription - she did admit to taking the dog's antibiotics one time

--WHOA!!! I'd fogotten about that. I believe her methods of acting out were

related to the culture and religious practicies in my " home land " in the

western US. I am from a small town that is very religious and conservative.

Drinking and tobacco products - and even coffee and tea-- were strictly

forbidden. I do not think she believed in this religion, but it didn't stop

her from using it to her advantage at every angle.

Welcome and I hope you find healing and light here,

Girlscout

>

> Hi Grace, just wanted to say hello & welcome. I hope you will find some

> peace of mind here. I know I sure have!

>

> Mia

>

January 15, 2011