That dark place

[Guest guest]

I've been struggling for months now to not go back into " that dark place " of

depression. I had " graduated " from antidepressants back in June or July,

and now I'm back on them. I feel like I can't pull myself out.

I'm very angry at nada, and yet I feel like what good does it do? the past

is the past and I can't keep letting it consume me but yet I keep letting

it. I keep trying to break away from & make peace with the past but I'm

struggling hard lately.

I feel like I'm going to lose my mind. Been having more flashbacks, more

crying spells. I just want all this crap to be over with.

I feel like I've been fighting this battle for way too long now. Years of

therapy & psychiatry... have I really gotten anywhere?

Just going to crawl into my hole of despair because I can't seem to fight

going back there any longer.

Maybe nada was right. I am the crazy one, the bad one, the evil one. Not

good enough or deserving of anything good. I was set up my whole life for

failure, and look what I've become - a failure. I guess it is me, not her.

I still hate her & want nothing to do with her though.

Mia