Fwd: laughter...

[Guest guest]

" CRIS NARCISO ASUNCION " wrote:

" Somebody once asked the master, 'How far away is God from man?' And

he said, 'Only a laughter away!' A good laugh and God is not far away;

he is within you. A really good laugh and He is laughing in your

laughter. In a good laugh ego disappears. In a good laugh you

disappear

utterly, you are no more found. There is only laughter... just energy

exploding. So become more happy: go to sleep in the night smiling, in

the morning get up smiling. Let smile become the climate that

surrounds

you like a perfume; wear smile like a perfume. "

1.

" This is a lesson in logic, " said the old professor in the

teahouse. " If

the show starts at nine and dinner is at six, and my son has the

measles, and my brother drives a Cadillac, how old am I? "

" You are eighty-four, " replied Mulla Nasrudin promptly.

" Right, " said the professor. " Now tell the rest of the fellows here

how

you arrived at the correct answer. "

" It is easy, " said Nasrudin. " I have got an uncle who is forty-two,

and

he is only half nuts. You must be eighty-four. "

2.

Mulla Nasrudin went to see his lawyer about a divorce.

" What grounds do you think you have for a divorce? " the lawyer asked.

" It is my wife's manners, " said the Mulla. " She has such bad table

manners that she is disgracing the whole family. "

" That's bad, " the lawyer said. " How long have you been married? "

" Nine years, " said the Mulla.

" If you have been able to put up with her table manners for nine

years,

I can't understand why you want a divorce now, " the lawyer said.

" Well, " said Nasrudin, " I did not know it before. I just bought a book

on etiquette this morning. "

3.

While exploring the wilds of South America, a man was captured by

savages. They were dancing excitedly around before killing him when

the

explorer had a bright idea. He would baffle them with magic. Taking a

cigarette-lighter from his pocket, he shouted, " I make fire! "

With a flick of the thumb, the lighter burst into flame. The savages

fell back and gazed in wonder.

" Magic! " cried the explorer.

" It certainly is, " said the chief. " It's the only time I ever saw a

lighter work on the first try. "

4.

Mulla Nasruddin and his wife are sitting one Sunday listening to the

radio, when this faith healer comes on and he says, " If you have a

part

of your body you want healed, place one hand on the radio and the

other

hand on the afflicted part. "

The wife placed one hand on the radio and the other on her heart. The

Mulla placed one hand on the radio and the other on his appendage.

So the wife said, " Mulla, he's trying to cure the sick, not raise the

dead. "

5.

A man walked into a bar, ordered a drink, and proceeded to laugh out

loud for about two minutes. When all eyes were upon him, he abruptly

stopped laughing and started crying and sobbing. After about two

minutes

of this, a smile came into his face and he again broke into

uncontrollable laughter. This was followed with another bout of

crying.

And then more laughter.

After about twenty minutes of alternate laughing and crying, he looked

up at all the enquiring faces and said, 'Please forgive me, but my

mother-in-law has just driven over a cliff in my new car!'

6.

Mulla Nasrudin and his partner closed the business early one Friday

afternoon and went off together for a long weekend in the country.

Seated playing canasta under the shade of trees, the partner looked up

with a start and said. " Good Lord, Mulla, we forgot to lock the safe. "

" SO WHAT, " replied Nasrudin. " THERE'S NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT. WE ARE

BOTH HERE. "

7.

Mulla Nasrudin was stopped one day by a collector of charity and urged

to " give till it hurts. " Nasrudin shook his head and said, " WHY THE

VERY

IDEA HURTS. "

8.

Mulla Nasrudin was scheduled to die in a gas chamber. On the morning

of

the day of his execution he was asked by the warden if there was

anything special he would like for breakfast.

" YES, " said Nasrudin, " MUSHROOMS. I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN AFRAID TO EAT

THEM

FOR FEAR OF BEING POISONED. "

9.

The old man was ninety years old and his son, Mulla Nasrudin, who

himself was now seventy years old, was trying to get him placed in a

nursing home. The place was crowded and Nasrudin was having

difficulty.

" Please, " he said to the doctor. " You must take him in.

He is getting feeble minded. Why, all day long he sits in the bathtub,

playing with a rubber Duck! "

" Well, " said the psychiatrist, " he may be a bit senile but he is not

doing any harm, is he? "

" BUT, " said Mulla Nasrudin in tears, " IT'S MY DONALD DUCK. "

10.

Mulla Nasrudin, asked if he believed in luck, replied " CERTAINLY: HOW

ELSE DO YOU EXPLAIN THE SUCCESS OF THOSE YOU DON'T LIKE? "