A cry for help from a Myspace friend...

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http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile & friendID=106207741anuary 10, 2008 - Thursday Please help me, healing, prayers, anything, just please... Current mood: anxious Category: Life Please,read this and please do not think I have become insane or anything,because I have not. I am just tired, I am very very tired. I feel oldand like dying in my mindFour months ago, September 10th, I nearly died choking in some food - we're talking seconds...Mymother used Heimlich on me, I used the breathing techniques I havelearned through the spiritual computer game The Wild Divine.I know now that my throat has healed physically, but my subconscious still think it is dangerous to eat and swallowWhen I eat, it feels like something gets stuck, not just a little, it really feels like it gets stuck.I have difficulty breathing then (because I panick, so it feels even more like something's stuck then)It also hurts, really hurts, when the food comes down in my throat. Like knives cutting when it is worst with pain.I know I need help to move on now, this is no longer something I can manage to get through myself.If I am not able to eat perfectly normally onJanuary 16th (where I am to see my doctor again who now is keeping aneye with me), then i will agree to get help through cognitive therapy.I may want to do it even though I eat somehow normal that day, to realyget it all back to normalI will not give up, because that is justmeaningless, I am young and have a beautiful life in wait, so giving upwould be the same as not wanting to get this beautiful life.I hope that there are some healers - orsomeone who somehow can help me through prayers, meditaion, healing,even magic if that is what it takes (here I am talking about the magicused in Wicca >> some may prefer to call it energy << andnot black magic of course lol) - who read thisPlease, please, please help me, in any way youcan, even if it is just by talking with me about this (as I thinkpeople around me soon will go insane if I keep talking about it all thetime - I don't want to push people away from me because of this and Ido understand their reaction, it is hard to always listen to problemsand fears from others)I don't think people know how this feels like, unless they ahve tried it themselves, to be seconds from dying.I mean... I could actually not be hereanymore. I could be cold, my body lying in cold earth while my soulwould be in joy - I believe in an afterlife and is not afraid of death,but love life)I seriously could be dead... it is such a crazy thought, it keeps me awake sometimesI have flash backs from the choking episode where I have to gasp for breath.You see... I need to be realistic, I cannot handle all of this myself anymore, I need professional help to move on.Because... I want my life back and right now this is only half my life, I want my whole life I talked with her today and asked if I could post here: here is her URL if you wish to send her some love and be her friend.