Re: My Mother Passed Over I Feel Lost

February 28, 2008

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February 28, 2008

My most dear , I am so sorry, my prayers and thoughts are with you, my beloved, because I know all those feelings are coming from the sincere part of your heart!

In the name of Humanity Healing Family, I would like to present our sincere Sympathy and support.This is a hard time, changes many times come to our lives when we are not looking or paying attention. Your Mother was a great loving soul, and she graduated " Earth school " , she is now soaring, as her spirit can reach the infinite and at the same time still live in your heart and the hearts of all that she loved so much.

I am not saying that to accept this will be easy, but we are here right with you, standing still. We ca hold you tight when you need, and I am here, just to wipe your tears my dear one.There will be good days and bad days, till we can together substitute the grief and pain for good memories and that nostalgic feeling, and above all, the certainty that You are going to see your Mom again. Death is not the end, it is a process, you are not this body, your Mother was not just a physical body, she is a free spirit and someone that with a brave heart took upon embodiment and accomplished her task brilliantly. You know that better then I do.Your mother lived her life with Grace and she did it well. The strong woman you are now(even though you may not see as it is at the moment) came from her way to nurture you. You are so right, when you say life is precious and fast! But you are still here, my dear! You have all of us, we can share with you all the steps of the way, this is my personal promise to you.

This is a very special moment Dove, you have to ignite inside of you all your faith, and your hope. You do believe , don't you? We do believe in you. We know you are here with us for a reason, and whatever this one might be, keep in your heart the certainty that we are here with you for this ride, we are not going anywhere. You have our unconditional support and you will need time, because time is the master of the reason, things will fall back to place. The beauty about Love Dove is that it never dies, Love is the most strong energy?feeling in this universe, can unite and bound souls to eternity. The love that Your mom and you shared, can never be forgotten, or destroyed,or even ignored. This is real Dove. Love is real. God is real, and he loves you my beloved, you are very precious to him, and he does not want to see you give up, or simply just be be away.

I understand the pain, one that had grieved can understand how deep this pain can be, and it is ok. Your heart has to relieve the oppression you are feeling now... better days will come my friend.For now, my dear Dove, I will leave you with my love, my hug and the gift of my tears. I am with you,

always.In sincere and deep respectwith SympathyLiane LegeyOn Wed, Feb 27, 2008 at 8:13 PM, dovetouched <hisalone@...> wrote:

I've not logged in for a while, I recently lost my mother on the 16th

it feels like yesterday. I work for her every weekend. She called me

on Friday night, I arrived at midnight with antibiotics and cough

syrup to ward off what she thought might be something moving into

pnuemonia, just in case as she is a quad and her lungs can't cough

like ours. She has spent 35 yrs in a wheelchair and over come

everything imaginable. She was her own doctor really, they merely

called in what she wanted. By 12pm Saturday she was gone, I found her

with patches of blue on her face and arms. I've never screamed so

much in my life, never grieved so much. She was not prepared for this

and neither was I. I checked on her at 5 a.m she seemed okay. I heard

her breathing funny around 10:30 a.m and sounded like a congested

snore, I'm having a hard time reliving that not forgiving myself even

though this was so fast moving trying to save her would have been

more misery. She lost her brother at Christmas time and was having a

hard time accepting it, much the same way I am with her. We also lost

her mother two years ago, that is the last of her family. I was

codependant on my mother, she was my therapist, my only friend, at

times my daughter as I cared for her my entire life, though she was

very capable of caring for herself and the most intelligent,

knowledagle woman I've met in my life. She employed me over the years

because she knew I could not work and my household needed the income.

I am at a loss as to what to do for income, my brother will be

selling everything of hers including the only house I have known as

home. She spent her savings trying to make it the way she wanted.

The truth is I am still having a hard time trusting there is an after

life and I am reaching out to anyone here who may be able to help me

get in touch with my mother or tell me of your experiences. No one

can make me believe but the more I hear of others experiences the

more I know it will help me hope. The funeral director told my

husband that he had never seen someone have such a hard time letting

go of a body. I was talking to her, painting her nails, kissing her

nose and telling her that if anyone could reach me it had to be her

to tell me of the other side. She studied, death and dying, grief,

the Jesus Seminar and read books on spirituality like they were food.

Her fav author was Spong and she was recently listening to Ester

Hicks.

The night she called me to stay with her she had laid out pants to go

to a funeral for her best friend. Her friends daughter had just lost

her 30 yr old husband and left behind four children. My mother was so

sad over this she started a trust fund for her and put a hundred

dollars in it. While she was busy worrying about this family she was

actually preparing for her own funeral unbeknown to her, she didn't

even finish the will she started on. I do feel a calm much of the

time esp at her memorial, I got up and talked and didn't shed a tear,

I laughed and enjoyed the family, ate and took pictures, it had to be

her comforting me. Today I am numb and then all at once crying again.

The image of her blue face flashes at me off and on without warning.

I keep seeing her beautiful blue eyes remembering how I was staring

at them as if I could somehow see the universe through them, but I

couldn't.

My daughters moved away from me several years back and I've been

praying for them to return since. I was raised around women the bonds

are strong since my life was spent being abused by every man in my

life. I need my daughters and when they left to go home yesterday, my

soul sunk again, I just don't feel alive without them as well as my

brother who lives too far away to visit. Family comes running when

someone dies but they are not here for the living. I try to teach

them that life is precious and we must make those memories while we

can, I keep praying they will return or that a way will be made for

me to be with them.

This is long I am sorry....I really could use some friendship right

now...some spiritual wisdom, love whatever anyone can offer.

Thank you for reading, Namaste,

-- " As a child I understood how to give; I have forgotten this grace since I became civilized. " ~Ohiyesa, Santee Sioux~

February 28, 2008

Hello , I am so very sorry for your loss. If you lived close to me, I would invite you over for a cup of tea and have a long conversation and give you a big hug.

I lost my Dad when I was 19 and I had the same feeling that you described when it was time for you to say goodbye to his body. I am lucky, I have always had faith, since I was a small child. I was very ill when I was a little girl with a dangerous high fever and I remember having a very spiritual experience that left me with no doubt that there is an afterlife, and that when we pass over it is beautiful and peaceful. I could not sleep when my Dad died, and I could not eat, and when they were about to close the casket, I nearly lost it. But then, I felt a hand on my shoulder, and the spirit of my Dad there with me, and he was there to tell me that he is ok, and that I need not mourn his passing because he is home again.

My Mom is in Hospice, and has lived with me for the last five years. The doctors say she could pass over at any time, and I dread it so much. I can only imagine the pain in your soul that you feel missing your Mom. I know that even though I know my Mom will be in a place of peace and love, I will miss her and feel so separated from her when she passes. She is in a lot of pain, and she does not dread being out of pain, I think she welcomes it. In fact, were it not for me, I think she would have already been gone.

I would love to hear from you, and just know that there are people out here who care, and I just wish I could give you a big hug and fix you a cup of tea or something.

Warm hugs,

carol

On Wed, Feb 27, 2008 at 11:13 PM, dovetouched <hisalone@...> wrote:

I've not logged in for a while, I recently lost my mother on the 16th it feels like yesterday. I work for her every weekend. She called me on Friday night, I arrived at midnight with antibiotics and cough

syrup to ward off what she thought might be something moving into pnuemonia, just in case as she is a quad and her lungs can't cough like ours. She has spent 35 yrs in a wheelchair and over come everything imaginable. She was her own doctor really, they merely

called in what she wanted. By 12pm Saturday she was gone, I found her with patches of blue on her face and arms. I've never screamed so much in my life, never grieved so much. She was not prepared for this

and neither was I. I checked on her at 5 a.m she seemed okay. I heard her breathing funny around 10:30 a.m and sounded like a congested snore, I'm having a hard time reliving that not forgiving myself even

though this was so fast moving trying to save her would have been more misery. She lost her brother at Christmas time and was having a hard time accepting it, much the same way I am with her. We also lost her mother two years ago, that is the last of her family. I was

codependant on my mother, she was my therapist, my only friend, at times my daughter as I cared for her my entire life, though she was very capable of caring for herself and the most intelligent, knowledagle woman I've met in my life. She employed me over the years

because she knew I could not work and my household needed the income. I am at a loss as to what to do for income, my brother will be selling everything of hers including the only house I have known as home. She spent her savings trying to make it the way she wanted.

The truth is I am still having a hard time trusting there is an after life and I am reaching out to anyone here who may be able to help me get in touch with my mother or tell me of your experiences. No one

can make me believe but the more I hear of others experiences the more I know it will help me hope. The funeral director told my husband that he had never seen someone have such a hard time letting go of a body. I was talking to her, painting her nails, kissing her

nose and telling her that if anyone could reach me it had to be her to tell me of the other side. She studied, death and dying, grief, the Jesus Seminar and read books on spirituality like they were food. Her fav author was Spong and she was recently listening to Ester

Hicks. The night she called me to stay with her she had laid out pants to go to a funeral for her best friend. Her friends daughter had just lost her 30 yr old husband and left behind four children. My mother was so

sad over this she started a trust fund for her and put a hundred dollars in it. While she was busy worrying about this family she was actually preparing for her own funeral unbeknown to her, she didn't even finish the will she started on. I do feel a calm much of the

time esp at her memorial, I got up and talked and didn't shed a tear, I laughed and enjoyed the family, ate and took pictures, it had to be her comforting me. Today I am numb and then all at once crying again.

The image of her blue face flashes at me off and on without warning. I keep seeing her beautiful blue eyes remembering how I was staring at them as if I could somehow see the universe through them, but I couldn't.

My daughters moved away from me several years back and I've been praying for them to return since. I was raised around women the bonds are strong since my life was spent being abused by every man in my

life. I need my daughters and when they left to go home yesterday, my soul sunk again, I just don't feel alive without them as well as my brother who lives too far away to visit. Family comes running when

someone dies but they are not here for the living. I try to teach them that life is precious and we must make those memories while we can, I keep praying they will return or that a way will be made for me to be with them.

This is long I am sorry....I really could use some friendship right now...some spiritual wisdom, love whatever anyone can offer. Thank you for reading, Namaste, -- reiki.carol@...

Reiki Healerhttp://www.the-dhn.com/Usui Reiki Master-TeacherWhite Dove Reiki Sekhem-Seichim Reiki

February 28, 2008

, Sweetz...

I wish to extend to you loving heart filled condoleances for the loss

of your mother, your friend. I read your words and wish to express my

concern that your mind will not let you rest as it revists details so

vividly. I am sensing that you are so filled with regret / judgement

that you might become ill.

Deepak Chopra's " Life after Death " has been very helpeful. Maybe

this will give you some solace as well as you reconnect to that

essence of LOVE that you and your mother shared, and still share.

Blessings,

Sheyla

--- In , " dovetouched " <hisalone@...>

wrote:

>

> I've not logged in for a while, I recently lost my mother on the

16th

> it feels like yesterday. I work for her every weekend. She called

me

> on Friday night, I arrived at midnight with antibiotics and cough

> syrup to ward off what she thought might be something moving into

> pnuemonia, just in case as she is a quad and her lungs can't cough

> like ours. She has spent 35 yrs in a wheelchair and over come

> everything imaginable. She was her own doctor really, they merely

> called in what she wanted. By 12pm Saturday she was gone, I found

her

> with patches of blue on her face and arms. I've never screamed so

> much in my life, never grieved so much. She was not prepared for

this

> and neither was I. I checked on her at 5 a.m she seemed okay. I

heard

> her breathing funny around 10:30 a.m and sounded like a congested

> snore, I'm having a hard time reliving that not forgiving myself

even

> though this was so fast moving trying to save her would have been

> more misery. She lost her brother at Christmas time and was having

a

> hard time accepting it, much the same way I am with her. We also

lost

> her mother two years ago, that is the last of her family. I was

> codependant on my mother, she was my therapist, my only friend, at

> times my daughter as I cared for her my entire life, though she was

> very capable of caring for herself and the most intelligent,

> knowledagle woman I've met in my life. She employed me over the

years

> because she knew I could not work and my household needed the

income.

> I am at a loss as to what to do for income, my brother will be

> selling everything of hers including the only house I have known as

> home. She spent her savings trying to make it the way she wanted.

>

> The truth is I am still having a hard time trusting there is an

after

> life and I am reaching out to anyone here who may be able to help

me

> get in touch with my mother or tell me of your experiences. No one

> can make me believe but the more I hear of others experiences the

> more I know it will help me hope. The funeral director told my

> husband that he had never seen someone have such a hard time

letting

> go of a body. I was talking to her, painting her nails, kissing her

> nose and telling her that if anyone could reach me it had to be her

> to tell me of the other side. She studied, death and dying, grief,

> the Jesus Seminar and read books on spirituality like they were

food.

> Her fav author was Spong and she was recently listening to Ester

> Hicks.

>

> The night she called me to stay with her she had laid out pants to

go

> to a funeral for her best friend. Her friends daughter had just

lost

> her 30 yr old husband and left behind four children. My mother was

so

> sad over this she started a trust fund for her and put a hundred

> dollars in it. While she was busy worrying about this family she

was

> actually preparing for her own funeral unbeknown to her, she didn't

> even finish the will she started on. I do feel a calm much of the

> time esp at her memorial, I got up and talked and didn't shed a

tear,

> I laughed and enjoyed the family, ate and took pictures, it had to

be

> her comforting me. Today I am numb and then all at once crying

again.

> The image of her blue face flashes at me off and on without

warning.

> I keep seeing her beautiful blue eyes remembering how I was staring

> at them as if I could somehow see the universe through them, but I

> couldn't.

>

> My daughters moved away from me several years back and I've been

> praying for them to return since. I was raised around women the

bonds

> are strong since my life was spent being abused by every man in my

> life. I need my daughters and when they left to go home yesterday,

my

> soul sunk again, I just don't feel alive without them as well as my

> brother who lives too far away to visit. Family comes running when

> someone dies but they are not here for the living. I try to teach

> them that life is precious and we must make those memories while we

> can, I keep praying they will return or that a way will be made for

> me to be with them.

>

> This is long I am sorry....I really could use some friendship right

> now...some spiritual wisdom, love whatever anyone can offer.

>

> Thank you for reading, Namaste,

>

February 28, 2008

I am so sorry 4 your loss,Yes I truly believe there is more to the story of r spirit. This is just the 1 form we take on r journey .I have read an amazing book. I'd like to suggest u read it. I think it will really help u.I read it when I watched my father die from pancreatic cancer.It gave me so much to believe in that I hadn't had before.U can probably find it on amazon 4 very cheep if it's an issue, but it change my whole concept of death.The book is called"JOURNEY OF SOULS, "Case studies of life between lives." by MICHAEL NEWTON , PH.DMy name is Laurie, and u r in my prayers,everything will be o.k. and so will u, though it seems quite heavy right now.God bless u and know u r never alone.With, love Light and Peace...Lauriedovetouched <hisalone@...> wrote: I've not logged in for a while, I recently lost my mother on the 16th it feels like yesterday. I work for her every weekend. She called me on Friday night, I arrived at midnight with antibiotics and cough syrup to ward off what she thought might be something moving into pnuemonia, just in case as she is a quad and her lungs can't cough like ours. She has spent 35 yrs in a wheelchair and over come everything imaginable. She was her own doctor really, they merely called in what she wanted. By 12pm Saturday she was gone, I found her with patches of blue on her face and arms. I've never screamed so much in my life, never grieved so much. She was not prepared for this and neither was I. I checked on

her at 5 a.m she seemed okay. I heard her breathing funny around 10:30 a.m and sounded like a congested snore, I'm having a hard time reliving that not forgiving myself even though this was so fast moving trying to save her would have been more misery. She lost her brother at Christmas time and was having a hard time accepting it, much the same way I am with her. We also lost her mother two years ago, that is the last of her family. I was codependant on my mother, she was my therapist, my only friend, at times my daughter as I cared for her my entire life, though she was very capable of caring for herself and the most intelligent, knowledagle woman I've met in my life. She employed me over the years because she knew I could not work and my household needed the income. I am at a loss as to what to do for income, my brother will be selling everything of hers including the only house I have known as home.

She spent her savings trying to make it the way she wanted. The truth is I am still having a hard time trusting there is an after life and I am reaching out to anyone here who may be able to help me get in touch with my mother or tell me of your experiences. No one can make me believe but the more I hear of others experiences the more I know it will help me hope. The funeral director told my husband that he had never seen someone have such a hard time letting go of a body. I was talking to her, painting her nails, kissing her nose and telling her that if anyone could reach me it had to be her to tell me of the other side. She studied, death and dying, grief, the Jesus Seminar and read books on spirituality like they were food. Her fav author was Spong and she was recently listening to Ester Hicks. The night she called me to stay with her she had laid out pants to go to a funeral for her best

friend. Her friends daughter had just lost her 30 yr old husband and left behind four children. My mother was so sad over this she started a trust fund for her and put a hundred dollars in it. While she was busy worrying about this family she was actually preparing for her own funeral unbeknown to her, she didn't even finish the will she started on. I do feel a calm much of the time esp at her memorial, I got up and talked and didn't shed a tear, I laughed and enjoyed the family, ate and took pictures, it had to be her comforting me. Today I am numb and then all at once crying again. The image of her blue face flashes at me off and on without warning. I keep seeing her beautiful blue eyes remembering how I was staring at them as if I could somehow see the universe through them, but I couldn't. My daughters moved away from me several years back and I've been praying for them to return since. I was

raised around women the bonds are strong since my life was spent being abused by every man in my life. I need my daughters and when they left to go home yesterday, my soul sunk again, I just don't feel alive without them as well as my brother who lives too far away to visit. Family comes running when someone dies but they are not here for the living. I try to teach them that life is precious and we must make those memories while we can, I keep praying they will return or that a way will be made for me to be with them. This is long I am sorry....I really could use some friendship right now...some spiritual wisdom, love whatever anyone can offer. Thank you for reading, Namaste, To worry, is like wishing for something you don't want !

February 28, 2008

Dear ,

I am so sorry for the loss of your mother. I lost my mom when I was only 16 and I remember feeling like nothing would ever be ok again. It changed my whole world dramatically. I truly believed that I would never survive this loss, but I did. Unfortunately is was not for many many years that I actually grieved the loss and it took many therapists to get me there. So sweet lady, let yourself grieve, as painful as it is, it is necessary. When a loved one leaves we always ask ourselves if there was something we could have done differently so that they would still be here, and we always feel guilty for every tiny thing that we may have done to them.

My mom who was only 37, was a big woman and when she died she was 60lbs and unrecognizable from ovarian cancer. It took me a long time to get that picture out of my head, but I put really good pictures of her near me so I would be reminded of what she really looked like, and eventually the thoughts in my head, of how she looked just before she passed, went away. There will come a time when you will only remember how beautiful she was.

I lost my dad in 1985 and I had a much harder time letting go of the body. When it came time to close the casket I started screaming. I was having a bad anxiety attack, but all of my brothers and sisters came to me and surrounded me with so much love that I was able to calm down after about 10 minutes. I cried for my dad like I never cried for my mom. You see, I grieved so badly when my dad died and within weeks I was one again back to my old self, although still missing him. But when mom died, I didn't really grieve, because I was just too numb for so many years. It caused me so much depression over the next years until I was finally able to grieve. So grief is something that just must be done. Let yourself grieve, let yourself cry or beat your pillow of write to us, whatever you need to do. And be kind to yourself during this time. Give yourself a lot of grace. It is hard for all of us to let go even though we know we must.

One more thing dear . God has a plan for you. Just because your mom is gone doesn't mean that God has forgotten you. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other for now. Think of what you would dream for your life, and when you are feeling better, take one step toward that. You will be surprised at what you will manifest. You will be shown the next step.

Know that I am here if you need me.

In Lak'ech Ala K'in, Cheryl(translation: In Lak'ech Ala K'in -You Are My Other Self)In Lak'ech Ala K'in - the Living Code of the Heart | Spirit Libraryvisit me at: www.myspace.com/senegaladyMay we learn to benefit the life of Earth with peace, humble in our needs,

and generous in our giving.Joanne Sunshower

In a message dated 2/27/2008 11:13:59 P.M. Eastern Standard Time, hisalone@... writes:

I've not logged in for a while, I recently lost my mother on the 16th it feels like yesterday. I work for her every weekend. She called me on Friday night, I arrived at midnight with antibiotics and cough syrup to ward off what she thought might be something moving into pnuemonia, just in case as she is a quad and her lungs can't cough like ours. She has spent 35 yrs in a wheelchair and over come everything imaginable. She was her own doctor really, they merely called in what she wanted. By 12pm Saturday she was gone, I found her with patches of blue on her face and arms. I've never screamed so much in my life, never grieved so much. She was not prepared for this and neither was I. I checked on her at 5 a.m she seemed okay. I heard her breathing funny around 10:30 a.m and sounded like a congested snore, I'm having a hard time reliving that not forgiving myself even though this was so fast moving trying to save her would have been more misery. She lost her brother at Christmas time and was having a hard time accepting it, much the same way I am with her. We also lost her mother two years ago, that is the last of her family. I was codependant on my mother, she was my therapist, my only friend, at times my daughter as I cared for her my entire life, though she was very capable of caring for herself and the most intelligent, knowledagle woman I've met in my life. She employed me over the years because she knew I could not work and my household needed the income. I am at a loss as to what to do for income, my brother will be selling everything of hers including the only house I have known as home. She spent her savings trying to make it the way she wanted. The truth is I am still having a hard time trusting there is an after life and I am reaching out to anyone here who may be able to help me get in touch with my mother or tell me of your experiences. No one can make me believe but the more I hear of others experiences the more I know it will help me hope. The funeral director told my husband that he had never seen someone have such a hard time letting go of a body. I was talking to her, painting her nails, kissing her nose and telling her that if anyone could reach me it had to be her to tell me of the other side. She studied, death and dying, grief, the Jesus Seminar and read books on spirituality like they were food. Her fav author was Spong and she was recently listening to Ester Hicks. The night she called me to stay with her she had laid out pants to go to a funeral for her best friend. Her friends daughter had just lost her 30 yr old husband and left behind four children. My mother was so sad over this she started a trust fund for her and put a hundred dollars in it. While she was busy worrying about this family she was actually preparing for her own funeral unbeknown to her, she didn't even finish the will she started on. I do feel a calm much of the time esp at her memorial, I got up and talked and didn't shed a tear, I laughed and enjoyed the family, ate and took pictures, it had to be her comforting me. Today I am numb and then all at once crying again. The image of her blue face flashes at me off and on without warning. I keep seeing her beautiful blue eyes remembering how I was staring at them as if I could somehow see the universe through them, but I couldn't. My daughters moved away from me several years back and I've been praying for them to return since. I was raised around women the bonds are strong since my life was spent being abused by every man in my life. I need my daughters and when they left to go home yesterday, my soul sunk again, I just don't feel alive without them as well as my brother who lives too far away to visit. Family comes running when someone dies but they are not here for the living. I try to teach them that life is precious and we must make those memories while we can, I keep praying they will return or that a way will be made for me to be with them. This is long I am sorry....I really could use some friendship right now...some spiritual wisdom, love whatever anyone can offer. Thank you for reading, Namaste, Delicious ideas to please the pickiest eaters. Watch the video on AOL Living.

February 28, 2008

LIANE

Thank you for your heartfelt message. You are right my mother lived a

glorious life 35 yrs in a wheelchair, a masters degree and never an

ounce of complaining. She gave until it hurt and still made plans to

live despite her family loss. I don't know how she did it, how she

was so strong, how she continued on but I know she lived in part for

me even though she was not dependant upon me. Every life she touched

she left courage, hope and strength and though I know it is

indwelling me I don't feel it. I caused her so much grief and I

grieve over that. It is hard for me to picture her in the heavenlies

because I am still stuck in the earthly, not functioning well in the

spirit. I unlike her wrestle this body wracked with pain, she

submitted. I wrestle with my purpose in life, she seemed to know her

purpose despite her handicaps and inability to work. I can here her

council even now, her wise words and I understand them but I never

could grasp them, become them, still the mind, still the fear, she is

and will forever be my hero. I would suppose that if I can look at

the love and the legacy she left not only to me but those who loved

her then I must believe there is a God, there is love, there is a

creator. When I look at me I see her and I am afraid to look at me

right now. PLease don't be upset with me if I don't quite grasp the

comfort you are trying to bestow upon me, I don't mean anything bad.

I completely grasp the love part just not the after life part. This

is my third loss in two years. My husband is getting word soon too

whether he is still in remission and my father is battling cancer as

well. I feel my spirit is telling me that I will lose these two and

that my mothers leaving was the big loss to prepare me for the rest.

I am scared................so scared mostly because of my inability

to work and the pain levels I live with and the drugs that I must pay

for. I just don't understand the purpose of this all where my purpose

is in this and I need strength to fight for my life. My children told

me that they expected me to go before my mother, it scared me as it

should and I realized in that moment and in the silence that my

mother was telling me to get serious about my health prior to her

passing and she is still sending that message. I don't want my

children to go through what I witnessed...its a long story but Liane

thank you so much for pouring your heart out to me.

Thank you for being here for me, for your prayers, your strength and

your tears...you are so sweet...make me cry...lol..

..Dove

February 28, 2008

Hi Carol,

What a sweetheart you are for writing me despite your own pain. I

suppose both love and pain join us, bond us and we should not run

from it or hide for fear others will run. Let me tell you that tea

sounds good, I've not had any in a long time lol. My grandmother

lived with my mother for quite a few years and as she slowly aged,

lost weight and started her hospice time it was difficult. Because my

mother could not get to her mother due to her being in a wheelchair

her own nurses began caring for her. That was taking time away from

my mother so I came the last week of my grandmothers passing. Hospice

was not really much help except for providing basic needs. I

literally labored with my grandmother for 3 to 4 days as her body

slowly gave in. My grandmother was frightened and was determined to

plant flowers in the Spring, she didn't accept dying easily. This

made it much more difficult for me. I poured everything I had into

helping her let go but she wouldn't so we had to medicate her heavily

to ease the anxiety.

I am so glad that your mother has come to some sense of peace and

letting go. I imagine you are feeling guilty for wanting to keep her

here and you might be right in the thought that our loved ones try to

stay for us. I still feel guilty that I want my mother here but if

God gave her that choice when she slipped over to leave or stay I am

glad that she made the choice she did, her suffering was enough. I

miss the hell out of my mother but the pain that woman endured was

more than I can imagine and she did for 35 years.

As I write this I wonder what you may be dealing with, the fear you

might be feeling, if you are getting enough sleep and the constant

vigil feeling or maybe even a part of you is wishing it would all end

if only for all of you to get a breath to begin again. Either way

maybe we can support each other. I have a feeling you are stronger

than you know and more prepared than you know. I am not good with

words right now like I usually am so forgive me if I say anything

wrong.

You are on my mind, in my thoughts and yes prayers. I hope some

others will rally to pray for your mother and you as well. This I do

know.....peace will come, your mother will help give you an extra

dose of it I believe when she leaves the flesh and becomes all

spirit. I pray that you hang onto that memory as a child, it was

given to you for a reason. I didn't get a chance to really tell my

mom how much I loved her recently, touch her enough and I hope you

get plenty of that soon.

February 28, 2008

Sheyla,

The 3 days after my mom died I cried so hard nonstop I thought for a

moment that I might have to be hospitalized but then a peace and

comfort came upon me and the crying stopped. I surmised it was due to

my brother arriving from out of state who I don't get to see hardly

ever or because my daughters were finally coming to see me. I am

deeply filled regret as I mentioned above because I didn't touch,

hold and hug my mother enough. She was in a chair it was not like she

could come running to me and initiate. Can I safetly assume that now

that she is all spirit that she can read my mind? probably not. I

talk to her outwardly but words are failing me and sleep is taking

over alot lately.

I am wondering what you might think of the book, Death the final

stage written by beth Kubler Ross? I saw that my mother had

finished half of the book. Either way I appreciate this book you

recommened and I will look into it. I have been sick the past few

days with severe allergies my head so full it feels like I am in a

bubble so reading has been hard for me. My mother caught a heart

problem I was having, irregular heart beat and hypertension, thank

God for her ability to see things I never could.

Thank you hun I have to believe that Love lives on even past my own

death.

--- In , " Sheyla " <filmeridis@...>

wrote:

February 28, 2008

ty Laurie for suggesting that book. I've been wanting to read something

on NDE's or the like. I think I had one myself when I was two but I am

still not sure.

Your prayers mean alot to me,

February 28, 2008

Hello ,

I feel truly sorry for your loss. I just can imagine what you are going throught right now. I know you may have over concerns but let me recommend you Deepak Chopra's book "Life after Death".

You are in my prayers dear ,

Much Love & Light

Johanna

From: hisalone@...Date: Thu, 28 Feb 2008 04:13:28 +0000Subject: [] My Mother Passed Over I Feel Lost

I've not logged in for a while, I recently lost my mother on the 16th it feels like yesterday. I work for her every weekend. She called me on Friday night, I arrived at midnight with antibiotics and cough syrup to ward off what she thought might be something moving into pnuemonia, just in case as she is a quad and her lungs can't cough like ours. She has spent 35 yrs in a wheelchair and over come everything imaginable. She was her own doctor really, they merely called in what she wanted. By 12pm Saturday she was gone, I found her with patches of blue on her face and arms. I've never screamed so much in my life, never grieved so much. She was not prepared for this and neither was I. I checked on her at 5 a.m she seemed okay. I heard her breathing funny around 10:30 a.m and sounded like a congested snore, I'm having a hard time reliving that not forgiving myself even though this was so fast moving trying to save her would have been more misery. She lost her brother at Christmas time and was having a hard time accepting it, much the same way I am with her. We also lost her mother two years ago, that is the last of her family. I was codependant on my mother, she was my therapist, my only friend, at times my daughter as I cared for her my entire life, though she was very capable of caring for herself and the most intelligent, knowledagle woman I've met in my life. She employed me over the years because she knew I could not work and my household needed the income. I am at a loss as to what to do for income, my brother will be selling everything of hers including the only house I have known as home. She spent her savings trying to make it the way she wanted. The truth is I am still having a hard time trusting there is an after life and I am reaching out to anyone here who may be able to help me get in touch with my mother or tell me of your experiences. No one can make me believe but the more I hear of others experiences the more I know it will help me hope. The funeral director told my husband that he had never seen someone have such a hard time letting go of a body. I was talking to her, painting her nails, kissing her nose and telling her that if anyone could reach me it had to be her to tell me of the other side. She studied, death and dying, grief, the Jesus Seminar and read books on spirituality like they were food. Her fav author was Spong and she was recently listening to Ester Hicks. The night she called me to stay with her she had laid out pants to go to a funeral for her best friend. Her friends daughter had just lost her 30 yr old husband and left behind four children. My mother was so sad over this she started a trust fund for her and put a hundred dollars in it. While she was busy worrying about this family she was actually preparing for her own funeral unbeknown to her, she didn't even finish the will she started on. I do feel a calm much of the time esp at her memorial, I got up and talked and didn't shed a tear, I laughed and enjoyed the family, ate and took pictures, it had to be her comforting me. Today I am numb and then all at once crying again. The image of her blue face flashes at me off and on without warning. I keep seeing her beautiful blue eyes remembering how I was staring at them as if I could somehow see the universe through them, but I couldn't. My daughters moved away from me several years back and I've been praying for them to return since. I was raised around women the bonds are strong since my life was spent being abused by every man in my life. I need my daughters and when they left to go home yesterday, my soul sunk again, I just don't feel alive without them as well as my brother who lives too far away to visit. Family comes running when someone dies but they are not here for the living. I try to teach them that life is precious and we must make those memories while we can, I keep praying they will return or that a way will be made for me to be with them. This is long I am sorry....I really could use some friendship right now...some spiritual wisdom, love whatever anyone can offer. Thank you for reading, Namaste, Téléchargez gratuitement Messenger 2008

February 28, 2008

I will keep you in my prayers Blessings, Peace

Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Mobile. Try it now.

February 28, 2008

My dear, dear . I've just finished reading everyones responses to you. I feel (so strongly) where you're at, and I feel the words of everyone else. My heartfelt love and compassion to you all. Change has come. Change is the most overwhelming force of nature. Change is the ultimate lesson of survival. I believe your mother understood this, and that is why she so gracefully lived her life throughout her years of illness and the loss of her loved ones. Death is change . Your mother is now with those she's lost, and she's able to support you in ways that she never could living in her body on this Earth. She has graduated, and it's a an amazing thing! There IS an afterlife. It's not something easily understood in our limited forms, but there is an afterlife. This change is one of the most important things that will ever happen to you until the time of your own death. Take it by the reins and learn everything you can from it. Listen to your heart during your grieving, it will help guide you to your answers and comfort. You have so much more to do here, and your mother can teach you so much more about yourself now than you ever imagined. It's a great gift to receive. Your mother will live on in this world through you. I lost my mother at 9. My mom was only 28 years old. I do understand how hard it is to lose your mother. It's still my #1 defining moment of my life. The center of who I am is still rocked by my mother, and the loss of her. But if it wasn't for her transition I wouldn't be the woman I am today. I am forever greatful for my mother, she still continues to raise and inspire me. I love you so very much , and I am here for you. You can e-mail me, myspace me or anything you want. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.Stefemail: diddiejar@...myspace: www.myspace.com/stef612--- In , "dovetouched" <hisalone@...> wrote:>> I've not logged in for a while, I recently lost my mother on the 16th > it feels like yesterday. I work for her every weekend. She called me > on Friday night, I arrived at midnight with antibiotics and cough > syrup to ward off what she thought might be something moving into > pnuemonia, just in case as she is a quad and her lungs can't cough > like ours. She has spent 35 yrs in a wheelchair and over come > everything imaginable. She was her own doctor really, they merely > called in what she wanted. By 12pm Saturday she was gone, I found her > with patches of blue on her face and arms. I've never screamed so > much in my life, never grieved so much. She was not prepared for this > and neither was I. I checked on her at 5 a.m she seemed okay. I heard > her breathing funny around 10:30 a.m and sounded like a congested > snore, I'm having a hard time reliving that not forgiving myself even > though this was so fast moving trying to save her would have been > more misery. She lost her brother at Christmas time and was having a > hard time accepting it, much the same way I am with her. We also lost > her mother two years ago, that is the last of her family. I was > codependant on my mother, she was my therapist, my only friend, at > times my daughter as I cared for her my entire life, though she was > very capable of caring for herself and the most intelligent, > knowledagle woman I've met in my life. She employed me over the years > because she knew I could not work and my household needed the income. > I am at a loss as to what to do for income, my brother will be > selling everything of hers including the only house I have known as > home. She spent her savings trying to make it the way she wanted. > > The truth is I am still having a hard time trusting there is an after > life and I am reaching out to anyone here who may be able to help me > get in touch with my mother or tell me of your experiences. No one > can make me believe but the more I hear of others experiences the > more I know it will help me hope. The funeral director told my > husband that he had never seen someone have such a hard time letting > go of a body. I was talking to her, painting her nails, kissing her > nose and telling her that if anyone could reach me it had to be her > to tell me of the other side. She studied, death and dying, grief, > the Jesus Seminar and read books on spirituality like they were food. > Her fav author was Spong and she was recently listening to Ester > Hicks. > > The night she called me to stay with her she had laid out pants to go > to a funeral for her best friend. Her friends daughter had just lost > her 30 yr old husband and left behind four children. My mother was so > sad over this she started a trust fund for her and put a hundred > dollars in it. While she was busy worrying about this family she was > actually preparing for her own funeral unbeknown to her, she didn't > even finish the will she started on. I do feel a calm much of the > time esp at her memorial, I got up and talked and didn't shed a tear, > I laughed and enjoyed the family, ate and took pictures, it had to be > her comforting me. Today I am numb and then all at once crying again. > The image of her blue face flashes at me off and on without warning. > I keep seeing her beautiful blue eyes remembering how I was staring > at them as if I could somehow see the universe through them, but I > couldn't. > > My daughters moved away from me several years back and I've been > praying for them to return since. I was raised around women the bonds > are strong since my life was spent being abused by every man in my > life. I need my daughters and when they left to go home yesterday, my > soul sunk again, I just don't feel alive without them as well as my > brother who lives too far away to visit. Family comes running when > someone dies but they are not here for the living. I try to teach > them that life is precious and we must make those memories while we > can, I keep praying they will return or that a way will be made for > me to be with them. > > This is long I am sorry....I really could use some friendship right > now...some spiritual wisdom, love whatever anyone can offer. > > Thank you for reading, Namaste, >

February 28, 2008

... my heart cries out for you. Your words are so true... we are

there for the dead... but not for the living. I see it all the time!

I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers!

~Kerrie

dovetouched wrote:

I've not logged in for a while, I recently lost my mother on the