Guest guest Posted April 20, 2002 Report Share Posted April 20, 2002 Hi Chie, >>>not my husband, all he thinks of is what food i would cook for him for >>>the day and serve him like a slave (our tradition)<<< Have you thought about printing up some of the information you have learned from group, some posts and examples of what is going on with you, maybe even your own posts that you have described how horrible you have felt...put them on a plate and SERVE THEM TO HIM! Tell him when he is done reading them, he will get the *food* for his belly? Might be something to think about, besides, you are in this country now, not the country of your origin, and you know what they say, " When in Rome, do as the Romans do " ...besides, slavery has been gone in this country for a long time. Time for hubby to realize this! Talk to you soon, Jody _________________________________________________________________ Send and receive Hotmail on your mobile device: http://mobile.msn.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 20, 2002 Report Share Posted April 20, 2002 Hi Chie, >>>not my husband, all he thinks of is what food i would cook for him for >>>the day and serve him like a slave (our tradition)<<< Have you thought about printing up some of the information you have learned from group, some posts and examples of what is going on with you, maybe even your own posts that you have described how horrible you have felt...put them on a plate and SERVE THEM TO HIM! Tell him when he is done reading them, he will get the *food* for his belly? Might be something to think about, besides, you are in this country now, not the country of your origin, and you know what they say, " When in Rome, do as the Romans do " ...besides, slavery has been gone in this country for a long time. Time for hubby to realize this! Talk to you soon, Jody _________________________________________________________________ Send and receive Hotmail on your mobile device: http://mobile.msn.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 20, 2002 Report Share Posted April 20, 2002 Hi Deb! Thank you so much for directing me to the link where Shani, you, and others posted what they are going through. I am so sorry that everyone is having to go through all of this " crap " that Grave's forces us to face in our lives. Remember YOU too are not alone, and it really is such a wonderful thing that all of you, us, are willing to share in this! Support is SO important! I read most of what was posted on the link to Joe and he listened and agreed with what everyone said about their feelings -- it really helps him to know he's not a monster (he keeps telling me this, although I know that), and that he's not alone. He also said that he's really thankful that I joined the group so that I can better understand what it is he's going through. I know he is carrying a lot of guilt right now for his unpredictable behavior, but I've told him that with each new day he must wake up and first forgive himself, as I forgive him. It's very difficult for him to do that as he knows he's already put our relationship through a lot. But I reassure him several times a day that we will get through this -- that it's worth it and we'll make it. Hang in there and thank you so much Deb! Ann Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 20, 2002 Report Share Posted April 20, 2002 Hi Deb! Thank you so much for directing me to the link where Shani, you, and others posted what they are going through. I am so sorry that everyone is having to go through all of this " crap " that Grave's forces us to face in our lives. Remember YOU too are not alone, and it really is such a wonderful thing that all of you, us, are willing to share in this! Support is SO important! I read most of what was posted on the link to Joe and he listened and agreed with what everyone said about their feelings -- it really helps him to know he's not a monster (he keeps telling me this, although I know that), and that he's not alone. He also said that he's really thankful that I joined the group so that I can better understand what it is he's going through. I know he is carrying a lot of guilt right now for his unpredictable behavior, but I've told him that with each new day he must wake up and first forgive himself, as I forgive him. It's very difficult for him to do that as he knows he's already put our relationship through a lot. But I reassure him several times a day that we will get through this -- that it's worth it and we'll make it. Hang in there and thank you so much Deb! Ann Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 20, 2002 Report Share Posted April 20, 2002 Thank you Jody! I want you to know that I absolutely would never take offense to anything you have to contribute! I, truthfully, feel fortunate that I am not the one with Grave's. I have, as you know, conquered my own disease and have learned to live -- happily even! -- in having Type 1 diabetes for 18 years! Having the disease yourself is an entirely personal journey. Fortunately Joe has been asking his endo the right questions, and I received the two books you mentioned from and Noble two weeks ago! What Joe is discovering is that there is a great deal to learn about this disease. He is finding that there is no " quick fix. " I honestly feel he thought RAI would make it go away and all would be well. He is grateful for me learning so much about it and it has opened up the floor for open dialogue between us on his emotional and physical state. We discuss how he's feeling on a daily basis and are watching for changes -- like, are his legs tired form working or is it Grave's symptoms? I truly believe that we are the turning point in his discovery that he has much to discover. And I'll be right here with him discovering! My poor baby! I wish with all of my spirit that I could take away all this suffering he is going through. I am doing all I can. And I think now he knows for certain that I am by his side for better or worse; that brings him much comfort. Thanks again Jody. Ann Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 24, 2002 Report Share Posted April 24, 2002 On Sat, 20 Apr 2002 11:39:17 -0400 " Jody Spitale " writes: > Hi Chie, > >>>not my husband, all he thinks of is what food i would cook for > him for > >>>the day and serve him like a slave (our tradition)<<< I debated saying anything but changed my mind - here goes. I have a very traditional household - my husband brings home the " bacon, " I fry it up in a pan. He works very hard for us, with next to no time to unwind. He comes home to supper, homework, bedtime, and a few nights a week, night school. I think that what got us all reacting to Chie's message was the way she phrased it. Personally, I don't think some of the advice given will be constructive. What might help is saying something like this: " Something isn't working if I feel like a slave. Please bear with me while I get my health back. It might mean a slackening of the standards you've got used to, less elaborate meals, more takeout etc. " You may want to get regular cleaning help. You need to gently explain his role in regaining your health. Once he feels that you will still take care of him to the best of your abilities you can take stock of your life and see what kind of pressures and attitudes that you have to deal with might have led to the stress that got you ill to begin with. Do you have any kind of a network, social, cultural, or religious, of friends or older women who know where you're coming from, that you can discuss these issues with? A traditional lifestyle per se is not something you need to feel bad about or have to defend. Take care, Fay ________________________________________________________________ GET INTERNET ACCESS FROM JUNO! Juno offers FREE or PREMIUM Internet access for less! Join Juno today! For your FREE software, visit: http://dl.www.juno.com/get/web/. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 24, 2002 Report Share Posted April 24, 2002 On Sat, 20 Apr 2002 11:39:17 -0400 " Jody Spitale " writes: > Hi Chie, > >>>not my husband, all he thinks of is what food i would cook for > him for > >>>the day and serve him like a slave (our tradition)<<< I debated saying anything but changed my mind - here goes. I have a very traditional household - my husband brings home the " bacon, " I fry it up in a pan. He works very hard for us, with next to no time to unwind. He comes home to supper, homework, bedtime, and a few nights a week, night school. I think that what got us all reacting to Chie's message was the way she phrased it. Personally, I don't think some of the advice given will be constructive. What might help is saying something like this: " Something isn't working if I feel like a slave. Please bear with me while I get my health back. It might mean a slackening of the standards you've got used to, less elaborate meals, more takeout etc. " You may want to get regular cleaning help. You need to gently explain his role in regaining your health. Once he feels that you will still take care of him to the best of your abilities you can take stock of your life and see what kind of pressures and attitudes that you have to deal with might have led to the stress that got you ill to begin with. Do you have any kind of a network, social, cultural, or religious, of friends or older women who know where you're coming from, that you can discuss these issues with? A traditional lifestyle per se is not something you need to feel bad about or have to defend. Take care, Fay ________________________________________________________________ GET INTERNET ACCESS FROM JUNO! Juno offers FREE or PREMIUM Internet access for less! Join Juno today! For your FREE software, visit: http://dl.www.juno.com/get/web/. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 24, 2002 Report Share Posted April 24, 2002 On Sat, 20 Apr 2002 11:39:17 -0400 " Jody Spitale " writes: > Hi Chie, > >>>not my husband, all he thinks of is what food i would cook for > him for > >>>the day and serve him like a slave (our tradition)<<< I debated saying anything but changed my mind - here goes. I have a very traditional household - my husband brings home the " bacon, " I fry it up in a pan. He works very hard for us, with next to no time to unwind. He comes home to supper, homework, bedtime, and a few nights a week, night school. I think that what got us all reacting to Chie's message was the way she phrased it. Personally, I don't think some of the advice given will be constructive. What might help is saying something like this: " Something isn't working if I feel like a slave. Please bear with me while I get my health back. It might mean a slackening of the standards you've got used to, less elaborate meals, more takeout etc. " You may want to get regular cleaning help. You need to gently explain his role in regaining your health. Once he feels that you will still take care of him to the best of your abilities you can take stock of your life and see what kind of pressures and attitudes that you have to deal with might have led to the stress that got you ill to begin with. Do you have any kind of a network, social, cultural, or religious, of friends or older women who know where you're coming from, that you can discuss these issues with? A traditional lifestyle per se is not something you need to feel bad about or have to defend. Take care, Fay ________________________________________________________________ GET INTERNET ACCESS FROM JUNO! Juno offers FREE or PREMIUM Internet access for less! Join Juno today! For your FREE software, visit: http://dl.www.juno.com/get/web/. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.