Lynda, we're here for you

[Guest guest]

Dear, dear Lynda,

Do you know how much you mean to me? I am fighting tears right now...

YOU were the one who set me on a path to freedom after I got

implants. It makes me so sad that you are struggling so with all of

this. It doesn't seem fair.

It was your article " The Safe Saline Implant? " that caught my

attention so many years ago..it was you that responded to me when I

was first finding out that my prized implants were making me

sick...it was your emails to me that I took to my implanting doctor

with answers to my questions that he only laughed at...

I can't imagine my life if I had not found you. You helped me find

Ilena, find Marti, find all of the precious women who walked this

terrible road before me.

I wish I could be there for you now. I hate that you are depressed

and hurting.

I've never been in your shoes, so I don't know for sure, but I think

this depression you are dealing with is partly due to the chemicals

in your body from the chemo. Gosh, I've been in that place of crying

at the drop of a hat! I remember how depressed I was after getting

sick and going through explant. I almost had no will to live. I know

it was the toxins in my body. I'm betting that the toxins you are

getting now are wreaking havoc with your emotions.

Your family and friends may be overwhelmed by this and don't know how

to respond now. It is a very difficult thing to accept and deal

with. I hope they come around for you. I sometimes even have trouble

in knowing what to say to people who are very sick. But I know they

just need to know they are not alone.

That's why I'm writing... you are not alone! We love you and care for

you on this group....you have many friends. We just are separated by

miles, so I can't sit with you and hold your hand or get you a glass

of water when you are thirsty. If I could, I would. If you can,

imagine that I am with you, just THERE for you. Sometimes just the

presence of someone makes all the difference in the world. We are

present for you Lynda, in spirit!

Feel better, please~!

Hugs,

Patty

>

> A week into second treatment, seems like years since I found out I

> had this cancer the second time.

>

> Still dealing with daily nausea, fatigue, problems sleeping,

> constipation, and chills. Food does not taste good for the most

> part. Have to try to find something that I really feel I want to

eat

> to tempt me to eat at all. Much of the time I am so tired I just

go

> back to bed for hours.

>

> I don't know how this progresses, but I seem to have gone from

mostly

> angry to mostly depressed. Sometimes I can cry at the drop of a

> hat. Everything makes me sad.

> I feel overwhelmed with trying to manage all the sickness after the

> chemo and overwhelmed with the enormous task of trying to fight to

> get better. I feel overwhelmed fighting the hand-foot problems and

> getting the fluid drained from the pleural cavity. Just trying to

> keep prescriptions straight overwhelms me. I feel overwhelmed just

> having to drive back and forth to Boulder a couple of times a

> week. I just plain feel overwhelmed with all of it. I feel like

> most of my family (kids in particular) and friends have disappeared

> from my life, as maybe they just cannot handle this or don't wish

to

> be involved. Heaven forbid it is ever their turn to have this

happen to them.

>

> I know this is one of the stages of grief, wish I could work my way

> out of it quicker. I need my positive fighting energy for all of

> this battle, and this seems to detract.

>

> I hope to be out of this stage soon and on to something I feel I

can

> hold onto with more strength and fighting ability.

>

> Maybe tomorrow will be better.

>

> Lynda

>

[Guest guest]

Patty,

Thank you for the kind response. I must remember that there are

people out there who care and are praying for me. I am trying to

focus on all the good energy, spirit, and prayers coming my way.

Today was very bad, but I am working on it. I have started coming up

with things to do to help with alleviating the depression.

I know my kids don't know what to do or how to help. My one neighbor

is out of town for another 3 or 4 weeks, but my sister will come

early next month, I think. That will help a lot.

This depression can hit any of us, and has hit most of us who fought

the breast implant battle. I remember it well. I am sure many women

on this line can relate.

I am sure the reaction to the chemo is making the depression

worse. The nausea, the constipation, all of the fatigue and the

brain fuzz and walking into walls, etc. It will pass again for this

month in another 4-5 days, and I am sure I will not be so

depressed. When I can eat a meal, I will actually feel better, I am sure.

Patty, I am sure this is part of the grief cycle and that I will move

through it, I just have to work it out and get through it. It is the

process that is getting me and it is painful. I will focus on the

support and try to see the positives right now so I can get there faster.

Just keep up the positive focus, as I think that is what will help me

in the long run.

Thanks for caring.

Lynda

At 11:48 AM 3/11/2008, you wrote:

>Dear, dear Lynda,

>Do you know how much you mean to me? I am fighting tears right now...

>

>YOU were the one who set me on a path to freedom after I got

>implants. It makes me so sad that you are struggling so with all of

>this. It doesn't seem fair.

>

>It was your article " The Safe Saline Implant? " that caught my

>attention so many years ago..it was you that responded to me when I

>was first finding out that my prized implants were making me

>sick...it was your emails to me that I took to my implanting doctor

>with answers to my questions that he only laughed at...

>

>I can't imagine my life if I had not found you. You helped me find

>Ilena, find Marti, find all of the precious women who walked this

>terrible road before me.

>

>I wish I could be there for you now. I hate that you are depressed

>and hurting.

>

>I've never been in your shoes, so I don't know for sure, but I think

>this depression you are dealing with is partly due to the chemicals

>in your body from the chemo. Gosh, I've been in that place of crying

>at the drop of a hat! I remember how depressed I was after getting

>sick and going through explant. I almost had no will to live. I know

>it was the toxins in my body. I'm betting that the toxins you are

>getting now are wreaking havoc with your emotions.

>

>Your family and friends may be overwhelmed by this and don't know how

>to respond now. It is a very difficult thing to accept and deal

>with. I hope they come around for you. I sometimes even have trouble

>in knowing what to say to people who are very sick. But I know they

>just need to know they are not alone.

>

>That's why I'm writing... you are not alone! We love you and care for

>you on this group....you have many friends. We just are separated by

>miles, so I can't sit with you and hold your hand or get you a glass

>of water when you are thirsty. If I could, I would. If you can,

>imagine that I am with you, just THERE for you. Sometimes just the

>presence of someone makes all the difference in the world. We are

>present for you Lynda, in spirit!

>Feel better, please~!

>Hugs,

>Patty

>

>

> >

> > A week into second treatment, seems like years since I found out I

> > had this cancer the second time.

> >

> > Still dealing with daily nausea, fatigue, problems sleeping,

> > constipation, and chills. Food does not taste good for the most

> > part. Have to try to find something that I really feel I want to

>eat

> > to tempt me to eat at all. Much of the time I am so tired I just

>go

> > back to bed for hours.

> >

> > I don't know how this progresses, but I seem to have gone from

>mostly

> > angry to mostly depressed. Sometimes I can cry at the drop of a

> > hat. Everything makes me sad.

> > I feel overwhelmed with trying to manage all the sickness after the

> > chemo and overwhelmed with the enormous task of trying to fight to

> > get better. I feel overwhelmed fighting the hand-foot problems and

> > getting the fluid drained from the pleural cavity. Just trying to

> > keep prescriptions straight overwhelms me. I feel overwhelmed just

> > having to drive back and forth to Boulder a couple of times a

> > week. I just plain feel overwhelmed with all of it. I feel like

> > most of my family (kids in particular) and friends have disappeared

> > from my life, as maybe they just cannot handle this or don't wish

>to

> > be involved. Heaven forbid it is ever their turn to have this

>happen to them.

> >

> > I know this is one of the stages of grief, wish I could work my way

> > out of it quicker. I need my positive fighting energy for all of

> > this battle, and this seems to detract.

> >

> > I hope to be out of this stage soon and on to something I feel I

>can

> > hold onto with more strength and fighting ability.

> >

> > Maybe tomorrow will be better.

> >

> > Lynda

> >

>

>

[Guest guest]

> >

Lynda

You are not alone, we all care so very much. Please know we are

praying for you.

You are probably right about your loved ones backing off because they

can't handle it. I know from my grief support group how common it

was for this to happen with people who were sick with cancer. There

is just a time when people can't cope with their grief and let you

down. They just can't stand to see you hurting or think of you

hurting. Kind of a self preservation thing.

That is why it is often people who are less close, or almost

strangers who come through for us. I found that to be true when my

husband passed away. My family and friends seemed to abandon me. I

received the most help from my grief support group where people

understood what I was going through, and most, if not all, of the

people in that group, felt the same way about their family not being

there for them.

You are such a strong, brave person who has always had such a heart

for others and been there for them. I am praying for your loved ones

to be able to show you the love and support you need at this

difficult time and for your healing.

love, Kathy

> > Still dealing with daily nausea, fatigue, problems sleeping,

> > constipation, and chills. Food does not taste good for the most

> > part. Have to try to find something that I really feel I want to

> eat

> > to tempt me to eat at all. Much of the time I am so tired I just

> go

> > back to bed for hours.

> >

> > I don't know how this progresses, but I seem to have gone from

> mostly

> > angry to mostly depressed. Sometimes I can cry at the drop of a

> > hat. Everything makes me sad.

> > I feel overwhelmed with trying to manage all the sickness after

the

> > chemo and overwhelmed with the enormous task of trying to fight

to

> > get better. I feel overwhelmed fighting the hand-foot problems

and

> > getting the fluid drained from the pleural cavity. Just trying

to

> > keep prescriptions straight overwhelms me. I feel overwhelmed

just

> > having to drive back and forth to Boulder a couple of times a

> > week. I just plain feel overwhelmed with all of it. I feel like

> > most of my family (kids in particular) and friends have

disappeared

> > from my life, as maybe they just cannot handle this or don't wish

> to

> > be involved. Heaven forbid it is ever their turn to have this

> happen to them.

> >

> > I know this is one of the stages of grief, wish I could work my

way

> > out of it quicker. I need my positive fighting energy for all of

> > this battle, and this seems to detract.

> >

> > I hope to be out of this stage soon and on to something I feel I

> can

> > hold onto with more strength and fighting ability.

> >

> > Maybe tomorrow will be better.

> >

> > Lynda

> >

>