(No subject)

[Guest guest]

A week into second treatment, seems like years since I found out I

had this cancer the second time.

Still dealing with daily nausea, fatigue, problems sleeping,

constipation, and chills. Food does not taste good for the most

part. Have to try to find something that I really feel I want to eat

to tempt me to eat at all. Much of the time I am so tired I just go

back to bed for hours.

I don't know how this progresses, but I seem to have gone from mostly

angry to mostly depressed. Sometimes I can cry at the drop of a

hat. Everything makes me sad.

I feel overwhelmed with trying to manage all the sickness after the

chemo and overwhelmed with the enormous task of trying to fight to

get better. I feel overwhelmed fighting the hand-foot problems and

getting the fluid drained from the pleural cavity. Just trying to

keep prescriptions straight overwhelms me. I feel overwhelmed just

having to drive back and forth to Boulder a couple of times a

week. I just plain feel overwhelmed with all of it. I feel like

most of my family (kids in particular) and friends have disappeared

from my life, as maybe they just cannot handle this or don't wish to

be involved. Heaven forbid it is ever their turn to have this happen to them.

I know this is one of the stages of grief, wish I could work my way

out of it quicker. I need my positive fighting energy for all of

this battle, and this seems to detract.

I hope to be out of this stage soon and on to something I feel I can

hold onto with more strength and fighting ability.

Maybe tomorrow will be better.

Lynda