Re: Spouses and Significant Others

November 20, 2001

In a message dated 11/20/2001 3:37:39 PM US Eastern Standard Time,

lov2dogs@... writes:

> the lack of sex and

> abundance of fatigue are too much for him. He extrapolates the lack

> of sex to our entire marriage.

>

that is what happened here..we are trying to work on things slowly, but I

still think he is leaving....its amazing at how men have a need for sex that

is almost disabilitating. I am not saying all men are like this, but most

are.......I have been very sick all day and almost to the point of not

walking...my hips are stiff, and my legs are too...I have a headache the size

of indiana itself. and I am just soo confussed...my b/f is still here in the

same house with me and my puppy...and he says he has feelings for me, but he

doesn't love me (his deffinition)...we are still sleeping in the same bed

together and he just left to go to work and he said I Love you..and gave me a

kiss good-bye...I feel like I am on the longest roller coaster in the

world...I just don't know what to do

November 21, 2001

--- Allicia21@... wrote:

> In a message dated 11/20/2001 3:37:39 PM US Eastern

> Standard Time,

> lov2dogs@... writes:

>

> and I am just soo confussed...my

> b/f is still here in the

> same house with me and my puppy...and he says he has

> feelings for me, but he

> doesn't love me (his deffinition)

>I feel like I am on the longest

> roller coaster in the

> world...I just don't know what to do

>

Allicia:

I feel so sorry for you I wish I could take the pain

and confusion away for you. I can relate to your

feelings as I have been there and done that and

survived. If you would like to write me privately

maybe I can try to help.

Tina

winphal@...

__________________________________________________

November 21, 2001

Hi Everyone,

My fibro started when I was 22, and I know those

feelings of anger, why me, I'm still young. I'm

49 now, and I feel okay most of the time.

The reason I'm writing is to ask, Don't some of

you feel better when you're having sex. I mean,

I remember that my muscles would relax for awhile

at least. I'm surprised that some of you find it

painful. I wonder if you just presume it would

be painful so you don't try??? I mean, as long

as you don't have to hang from the ceiling fan, I

would think you might feel better for awhile.

Anyone notice that?

Joanne

--- Allicia21@... wrote:

> In a message dated 11/20/2001 3:37:39 PM US

> Eastern Standard Time,

> lov2dogs@... writes:

>

> > the lack of sex and

> > abundance of fatigue are too much for him.

> He extrapolates the lack

> > of sex to our entire marriage.

> >

>

> that is what happened here..we are trying to

> work on things slowly, but I

> still think he is leaving....its amazing at how

> men have a need for sex that

> is almost disabilitating. I am not saying all

> men are like this, but most

> are.......I have been very sick all day and

> almost to the point of not

> walking...my hips are stiff, and my legs are

> too...I have a headache the size

> of indiana itself. and I am just soo

> confussed...my b/f is still here in the

> same house with me and my puppy...and he says

> he has feelings for me, but he

> doesn't love me (his deffinition)...we are

> still sleeping in the same bed

> together and he just left to go to work and he

> said I Love you..and gave me a

> kiss good-bye...I feel like I am on the longest

> roller coaster in the

> world...I just don't know what to do

>

> [Non-text portions of this message have been

> removed]

>

__________________________________________________

November 21, 2001

Hi Everyone,

My fibro started when I was 22, and I know those

feelings of anger, why me, I'm still young. I'm

49 now, and I feel okay most of the time.

The reason I'm writing is to ask, Don't some of

you feel better when you're having sex. I mean,

I remember that my muscles would relax for awhile

at least. I'm surprised that some of you find it

painful. I wonder if you just presume it would

be painful so you don't try??? I mean, as long

as you don't have to hang from the ceiling fan, I

would think you might feel better for awhile.

Anyone notice that?

Joanne

--- Allicia21@... wrote:

> In a message dated 11/20/2001 3:37:39 PM US

> Eastern Standard Time,

> lov2dogs@... writes:

>

> > the lack of sex and

> > abundance of fatigue are too much for him.

> He extrapolates the lack

> > of sex to our entire marriage.

> >

>

> that is what happened here..we are trying to

> work on things slowly, but I

> still think he is leaving....its amazing at how

> men have a need for sex that

> is almost disabilitating. I am not saying all

> men are like this, but most

> are.......I have been very sick all day and

> almost to the point of not

> walking...my hips are stiff, and my legs are

> too...I have a headache the size

> of indiana itself. and I am just soo

> confussed...my b/f is still here in the

> same house with me and my puppy...and he says

> he has feelings for me, but he

> doesn't love me (his deffinition)...we are

> still sleeping in the same bed

> together and he just left to go to work and he

> said I Love you..and gave me a

> kiss good-bye...I feel like I am on the longest

> roller coaster in the

> world...I just don't know what to do

>

> [Non-text portions of this message have been

> removed]

>

__________________________________________________

November 21, 2001

I mean,

I remember that my muscles would relax for awhile

at least.>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Mine rarely did.. if they were tight.. they were

tight.. nothing worked to correct that.. sadly...

and sex for me is painful ( God I hate being 24

and saying that... ) not everytime, but certainly

often enough.. drs say there isnt anything wrong

to cause it .. that was certainly long before any

dr suspected fibro though..

Serena

=====

Believe more deeply. Hold your face up to the light, even though

for the moment you do not see. Bill W

__________________________________________________

November 21, 2001

I mean,

I remember that my muscles would relax for awhile

at least.>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Mine rarely did.. if they were tight.. they were

tight.. nothing worked to correct that.. sadly...

and sex for me is painful ( God I hate being 24

and saying that... ) not everytime, but certainly

often enough.. drs say there isnt anything wrong

to cause it .. that was certainly long before any

dr suspected fibro though..

Serena

=====

Believe more deeply. Hold your face up to the light, even though

for the moment you do not see. Bill W

__________________________________________________

November 21, 2001

In my case, I don't actually find it painful. Once I'm involved, I

enjoy it fairly well. My problem is lack of desire. I'd just as

soon sleep or have a nice back rub.

My husband always waits for me to initiate. I've told him time and

time again that an outright sexual advance from him is the only thing

that is going to get me going...if he waits for me he's gonna wait a

long time. His problem is he is ULTRA sensitive, and if I don't read

his extremely ambiguous sexual advances correctly he feels rejected

and just won't make them anymore. Plus, he always waits until like

10 o'clock at night when I am ready to pass out. I have a little

window at about 6 pm where I may feel just the slightest bit tingly,

but he misses it everytime unless I say something blatant. And most

of the time, due to pain or fatigue, I'm just not gonna!

> Hi Everyone,

>

> The reason I'm writing is to ask, Don't some of

> you feel better when you're having sex. I mean,

> I remember that my muscles would relax for awhile

> at least. I'm surprised that some of you find it

> painful.

> >

>

> __________________________________________________

>

November 21, 2001