OT If I were President W. Bush's Speech Writer. ****Contains profanity***** WARNING

[Guest guest]

If I were President W. Bush's Speech Writer.

By R. Robb

Good evening my fellow Americans.

First, I want to pass on my condolences to the people

of New York and

all Americans that are hurting in this tragic time.

You can rest assured

that anything and everything that can be done to

assure the safety of

our country will be done. This is the greatest country

in the world and

we will get through this trying time. Now is the time

for all people to

set aside our petty differences and show the world

that no one or

nothing can destroy the fortitude of the American

people.

To the people responsible for today's tragedy, I say

this:

Are you fucking kidding me? Are the turbans on your

heads wrapped too

tight? Have you gone too long without a bath? Do you

not know who you

are fucking with? Americans are so hungry to kill,

that we shoot at each

other every day. We will relish that opportunity for

new targets for our aggression.

Have you forgotten history? What happened to the last

people that

started fucking around with us? Remember the little

yellow bastards over

in Japan? We slapped them all over the Pacific and

roasted about 2 million of them

in their own back yard. That's what we in America call

a big ass barbecue.

Ever seen Texas on a map? Ever wonder why it's so big?

Because we wanted it that way, Mexico started jacking

around with the

Alamo and now they cut our lawns. England? We sent

them packing.

Ask your buddy Saddam about fucking with the good 'ole

USA. The only

reason he got away the first time is because it's too

hard to shoot

someone when you're doubled over laughing at them. Our

soldiers aren't

trained to laugh and shoot at the same time. Now he

couldn't stop a pack

of cub scouts from taking over his shitty little

country.

Trust us, Afghanistan will end up a giant kitty litter

box. Go ahead and

try to hide, Bin Laden. There's not a hole deep enough

or a mountain

high enough that's going to keep your camel riding

asses safe. We will

bomb every inch of the country that harbors him, his

camps and any place

that looks and even smells like he was there. Hell, we

might even drop a

few bombs on people that have pissed us off in the

past. This is

America. We kick ass. This is what we do. Go ahead and

laugh now, but

the Tomahawks are coming and we will smoke your sorry

asses.

God bless America!

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