MEDICAL ALERT (joke)

[Guest guest]

MEDICAL ALERT

FOR WOMEN

You've heard about people who have been abducted and had their

kidneys

removed by black-market organ thieves. Well, this kind of cruel theft

is

happening with other body parts as well!

My thighs were stolen from

me during the night a few years ago. I went

to sleep and woke up with someone

else's thighs. It was just that quick.

The replacements had the texture of

cooked oatmeal. Whose thighs were these

and what happened to mine? I spent

the entire summer looking for my thighs.

Finally, hurt and angry, I resigned

myself to living out my life in

jeans.

And then the thieves struck again.

My butt was next. I

knew it was the same gang, because they took pains

to match my new rear end

to the thighs they had stuck me with Earlier. But

my new butt was attached at

least three inches lower than my Original! I

realized I'd have to give up my

jeans in favor of long skirts.

Two years ago I realized my arms had been

switched. One morning I was

fixing my hair and was horrified to see the flesh

of my upper arms swing to and

fro with the motion of the hairbrush. This was

really getting scary - my

body was being replaced one section at a Time. What

could they do to me next?

When my poor neck suddenly disappeared and was

replaced with a turkey

neck, I decided to tell my story. Women of the world,

wake up and smell the

coffee! Those 'plastic' surgeons are using REAL

replacemen t body parts

stolen from you and me! The next time someone you know

has something

'lifted', look again - was it lifted from you?

THIS IS

NOT A HOAX. This is happening to women everywhere, every night.

WARN

YOUR

FRIENDS

P.S. Last year I thought someone had stolen my boobs. I was lying

in bed

and they were gone! But when I jumped out of bed, I was relieved to

see that

they had just been hiding in my armpits as I slept. Now I keep

them

hidden in my waistband.'